The Never Ending Story

[ahlocks]

"It was because I ...........

..was worrying about how BigLes was going to take being upstaged by the dalby drifter driver's daring adventures!" replied McLoch. :confused:i_dunno

 

"Stuff a dead horse, I'm glad someone's thinkin' of me" complained BigLes as he hitched his dinnerplate size belt buckle a notch tighter. "Not only is dotDash trying to outdo my flying derringdo, he's makin' moves on me cowboy stuff as well!"

 

Tomo was ..........

 

 

[Tomo]

Tomo was ..........

Quite impressed by the performance by the moo-ing out landing that he just achieved... but the thought of how catastrophic it could end up if they departed there formation:ah_oh: so he had to think back to the mustering days and come up with some cow language, which dotdash achieved quite easily, so told them to up there speed to about 35mile an hour, that way I can do a nice STO, only moving the wheels about 2" on the back of the lipstick covered cow's......

 

So climbing back up to 9,999ft he felt quite confident that everything was going just fine, but just then I notice something out the corner of the circular object's that are quite useful, situated side by side in the front part of the (what is commonly know as the noggin) which changed the confidence quite dramatically.............

 

 

[ahlocks]

....it was green and grey and had a bundy rum contrial in tow, leading all the way to the NSW south coast....

 

==========

 

9,999 feet in a drifter!! i_dunno C'mon DotDash keep it real!!.........

 

.......

 

.......

 

Everyone knows drifter altimeters aren't that accurate.

 

 

[Captain]

....it was green and grey and had a bundy rum contrail in tow, leading all the way to the NSW south coast ....

"Geeeeez it's featureless up here where the Queens live." said Bingles, as he looked down at the mines and the mountains and the rivers and the roads and the mice plagues and the cattle stampedes and the towns and the airports.

 

"But there is a Drifter Driver up at 9995 ft (for Bingles had set his QNH a little different than Tomo) so he is an adventurous lad after my own heart and he isn't restricted by some pish-posh rule about 5000 ft, which only REALLY applies to the other 11000 RAA members. I will decend and say g'day to him".

 

But at that very moment, as he pulled back the power and put his lipstick away, he noticed ................

 

 

[ahlocks]

... a jab doing vertical orbits. :ah_oh:

 

"That looks like fun!" exclaimed BigLes with a yipee ki ay. "If one of them tupperware varmints can do 'em, can't see why I shouldn't"

 

BigLes firewalled the mighty green & grey cat....

 

============

 

'tis a much happier place, in the garden with the aunt, taunting Tomo and BigLes. :big_grin:

 

 

[turboplanner]

......but the much modified Jabertoo engine let him down once again. A much wiser man after the beach landing which made him famous and created a following of BigLes Groupies, he knew exactly what to do.....

 

 

[ahlocks]

....hit the keyboard and hook in or we'll continue making up something to suit ourselves. :clown:

 

"Aw jezz you lot don't give an inch" complained BigLes. "They haven't got too much more to offer" interrupted Nanna :broken_heart:.

 

"A cowboy bungs on a perfectly good soft sand landing without flipping and you still give me curry" he added. :black_eye:

 

DotDash was devastated.....

 

 

[Captain]

......but the much modified Jabertoo engine let him down once again. A much wiser man after the beach landing which made him famous and created a following of BigLes Groupies, he knew exactly what to do.....

.... as he had attended 17 CASA AvSafety Seminars (in succession), had completed a UNSW Course in Human Factors stuff and had become an advocate for responsible aircraft ownership by forming the Pilot's Operating Organisation.

 

"Come and join me in the POO" was his catchcry when he ................

 

"You both arrived at exactly the same time there, boys" said Nanna to my Aunt. Well done Goldie.

 

 

[ahlocks]

.... "Come and join me in the POO" was his catchcry when he ...

...executed his near perfect vertical orbit on downwind, to enable spacing for the incoming RPT. ;)

 

"Yay BigL! That'll put a burr up a few noses!" McLoch giggled :big_grin: as he contemplated stirring up another pot before racking off to do something constructive with the day

 

================

 

It's a race for the arrival i'nit? :confused:

 

 

[Captain]

...executed his near perfect vertical orbit on downwind, to enable spacing for the incoming RPT. ;)

"Yay BigL! That'll put a burr up a few noses!" McLoch giggled :big_grin: as he contemplated stirring up another pot before racking off to do something constructive with the day

"It has come to my attention" interjected slartifastback, (who was feeling very pleased with all of the compliments that were flowing about his big brown Pussy ... and therefore decided to interpose himself (not that there is anything wrong with that) into this thread) "As this NES thread is genderly & ethnically challenged, and we need more sexual and cultural diversity amongst the main players which will reflect life's great tapestry and the huge range of peoples and practices throughout this wide brown land".

 

"What's all this about?" asked The Rat "Is he running for parliament or the Board of the RAA?"

 

"Tell him to bugger off" whispered Tubb.

 

"No" said ahlocks (who is ever the nice bloke) "For I will take on the persona of a female, jewish aboriginal aircraft owner who also has a mix of Chinese Muslim blood from 1 or 2 generations back ........... so stop oppressing us, Crappee, you Anglo faded Jabiru owner, you, and ........................

 

 

[turboplanner]

..........dotDash, who was still looking down, using the "circular object's that are quite useful".

 

The rest of Australia would say "eyes", but dotDash is not one to use one word when six are free.

 

At this point the Rivet Rider who didn't know whether to put some lipstick on, complain about the price of petrol at his community pump, yell "Ni Hao" up at dotDash or start a jihad, invented a new phrase "When you're up, you're down" and flung this serendipidous epithet at dotDash, who sat there scratching that round thing with the hair on top and a handle each side.

 

By now dot Dash had climbed out on the wing again, and despite a severe droop which started the driver doing circles, had now fully repaired the damage, and dived at VNE on the luckless slovakian who had now been put in a position where he had to climb, using the power of the rotary axle, and we won't go there.

 

However, half way down, dotDash attracted the atention of a wedge tail eagle who tried to mate with the Drifter (see Captain).....

 

 

[Captain]

.......... who sat there scratching that round thing with the hair on top and a handle each side......

Now that's funneee.

 

 

[ahlocks]

"serendipidous epithet" !?!...Wow!!!

 

Turbz wins the lexicon award for the day too!

 

 

[Captain]

..........However, half way down, dotDash attracted the atention of a wedge tail eagle who tried to mate with the Drifter (see Captain).....

"That Wedgy isn't "mating" with the Drifter ... (nor do they thrust with Thrusters or Jab with Jabs)" said someone who knows a lot about the manner of Wedge Tail 4-play and copulation. "All it's doing is trying to get the last 50 kgs of mice out of the empennage"

 

However with the Wedgy's tallons caught in the fabric and his wings flapping weakly, it doubled the power of the Axe and the Drifter was propelled back up to 9999 with a neck snapping surge that ...........

 

 

[turboplanner]

nearly popped the "circular object's that are quite useful" out of dotDash's head.

 

He fed the wedgie part of his ham sandwich, there was a further surge of power and the Drifter went up to 13,999 which left dotDash gasping for oxygen.

 

Unfortunately for him the eagle spotted a trail of mice trying to sneak away into the bush, closed its wings, and dropped like a hot rock.

 

This certainly took the smile off his elongated gash with the white bits hanging down and sticking up, but he was philosophical, knowing a five kg eagle outpowered a blue head, so he pushed the stick forward and the Drifter rocketed back down towards Rivet Man.

 

He loaded the spud gun, and this time used hair spray instead of his precious petrol.

 

If the spud gun had cross hairs, Avlovak would have been in them....

 

 

[Captain]

He loaded the spud gun, and this time used hair spray instead of his precious petrol.

If the spud gun had cross hairs, Avlovak would have been in them....

... "I've tried to make them" said The Dalby Tom-Tom "But I can never get any hairs that are straight, and that makes me cross ...... or, here's a thought, maybe I could use some off my round thing with the 7 holes in it".

 

But the Ahlow got serious and dived with the rivet holes sounding like a Meteor making the blue note.

 

"Oh, McErk" said the Locky "I just hit Vne in the SportSzara and she has made the involuntary brown noise", while the Drifter was close behind making the pink note (which goes well with Tom-Tom's hairspray, his lipstick and his sequined formal dress that .......

 

 

[ahlocks]

... Slarti loaned him. But it does looks ever so splendid on him. :thumb_up:

 

"Must've p:censored:d more than one just the one northerner off while making jihad." gulped McLoch as he tried to evade the Tomosapien attack. :ah_oh:

 

FOOMP! WHAP!! The spud gun found it's mark.

 

"Bugga you dotDash! It'll be crissed as picket gettin' through enough melbourne bitter to patch that hole!" :yuk::big_grin:

 

Turbolinguist calmly flipped through his book of abstruse idioms and rallied to the cause...

 

 

[turboplanner]

Turbolinguist calmly flipped through his book of abstruse idioms and rallied to the cause...

...."Dot dot dot, dah dah dah dah" he said as he surveyed the CZSporstar, which had once been a very neat aircraft, even though it didn't have the goat dung brown colour and spots of the superstar Sheeter.

 

There were now so many beer cans rivetted on that it had taken on the appearance of the Ettamogah pub.

 

"Perhaps you could add a rabbit trap or two" said Turbo trying to be helpful.

 

But the beer cans were only a disguise, there was a secret weapon under there, so after waiting an hour or so to give way to an incoming flight, Avlovaks revved the Rotary Axe to new heights, and departed of the end of Runway 23, which was soon to become notorious......

 

 

[Captain]

..... But the beer cans were only a disguise, there was a secret weapon under there, so after waiting an hour or so to give way to an incoming flight, Avlovaks revved the Rotary Axe to new heights, and departed of the end of Runway 23, which was soon to become notorious......

..... when 2 RPT's actually flew a circuit when the breeze was just 7 knots (gusting 10) down 23.

 

"WHAT" exclaimed the fuel and efficiency managers of the big airline without a que, and the smaller airline that also doesn't have too many queues "Hold an inquiry/witch hunt into sacking those pilots for good airmanship and using an extra 50 litres of A1".

 

"BenFranklinovack and his Axe made us do it, as he just barged in and took off into the wind (while El Ratto stopped at the holding point ... because he is such a nice guy) and while Tomo the Homo-sap-Ian flashed that little pink number of his." said the defendants.

 

"Please explain" asked the clique at the head of both companies "What is this phobia that the common folk have about 'into the wind"? Don't they know that there is a recession on, and a ...................

 

The comment of my Aunt is that I may be in the wrong garden with this .... but it is aviation related and the A1 does 'flow'.

 

 

[turboplanner]

"Please explain" asked the clique at the head of both companies "What is this phobia that the common folk have about 'into the wind"? Don't they know that there is a recession on, and a ...................

".....racing carnival to sponsor."

 

"Someone might be killed" said the defendants

 

"So what said the Clique; that's got nothing to do with running an airline"

 

"It could be one of your pilots" said one of the bolder defendants

 

"Dime a dozen, getting 'em from China now, less backchat on the radio" said Clique member.

 

But someone out there was watching and listening......

 

 

[turboplanner]

Meanwhile several hours later the flying rivet had finally reached 9,999 feet and had Thompson (he liked to use this name after having reached solo status) in sight.

 

Carefully Ramboloks unwrapped the weapon......

 

 

[Captain]

Meanwhile several hours later the flying rivet had finally reached 9,999 feet and had Thompson (he liked to use this name after having reached solo status) in sight.

Carefully Ramboloks unwrapped the weapon......

.... and thought that he would give him a double bunger this time, just like Tubb's last posts.

 

"It's Pilot Officer Thompson" to you, yelled P.O. Thompson as he held his scarf out straight, tucked in his cravat, fondled his wings, and flew into a cloud so that the Ahlow couldn't see him.

 

But Rambolocks (who was actually a bit of a Johnson), stayed on his 6 (which was actually a 4.3, what with all the damage to the Drifter) and pushed the throttle to the panel while making brummmm brummmmmm noises in his Boses.

 

But the Drifter just disappeared into the distance, with a ............

 

My Aunt was standing in her drought resistant garden of Aussie natives, watching the dog-fight in the clouds above and commented to nobody in particular in her Skippy vernacular "Geeeeeeeez them Drifters go, don't they?"

 

 

[ahlocks]

... bit of an outboard motor receding behind...:confused:

 

"Sheesh!" moaned McLovak "Call one northern optician out and tug a turbo's linguistic tail and all of a sudden you're a boat motor....":black_eye:

 

Nanna handed McLoch a copy of Kumbayah.... :yuk:

 

"Go and find your happy place and then come back...I've got this really cool toy to show you. :heart:"

 

============

 

The storm from the tea cup adds life to the aunt's garden...

 

 

[Tomo]

Thompson.....? it's just as well I'm multi lingual thought dotdashi_dunno?

 

I've just disappeared into the cloud, now just as well I'd thought ahead! I pulled out a nail and hammer (out the top pocket) and hammered it into the panel, pulled out a piece of fishing line (in the other top pocket) and a sinker (in the inside coat pocket), tied it on to the nail, and presto I got myself an ingenious artificial horizon...

 

while doing all this, this Thompson fella was keeping a close eye on the clock (a fandagled digital one) making sure I had got it up and running in the 187seconds, 'cause after that, it would have been to late!!thumb_down

 

Now that I'm all set for INLSR (I No Longer See Roads), my next job is to find that rivet-less tin can:loopy: and put a few starch shots into him (for those with a small imagination, that's a Spud!!, Don't believe me? go and get a raw spud and bite into it!)

 

Mean while, avahlocks.....................

 

 

[turboplanner]

Don't believe me? go and get a raw spud and bite into it!)

Mean while, avahlocks.....................

...was biting into a raw spud and had been sidetracked due to storming thorugh a tea cup "I'll.......