The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

....converted to kilometres by CASA in a sneaky attempt to shorten them which failed because the AUF pilot argued they hadn't been told. CASA replied that they had on page 723 (b) (iii), Section IXIIV1, para 33 line 27.

This worked quite well as 2/3 of the AUF came into conformity until, one of the members pointed out, that they'd beenc reading from the wrong book.  The debate raged with one member suggesting that cornflakes made you sick, and another shot that down in flames by saying the school term started on the fifth, and yet another spat about thread drift, his only post for 2022, but OneTrap .......................

[onetrack]

......took control of the meeting and stated that he wasn't going to take any notice of any rules or regulations, anyway - because so many other people failed to follow them, so he saw no reason why he should - and besides, he only flew where there was no other aircraft, so the chances of him hitting a Dash 8 was so miniscule, it didn't even rate as a statistical blimp.

 

This statement only caused a major uproar, and OT lost control of the meeting, so he left the arguers to it, and went outside and started up the.................

[Captain]

3 hours ago, onetrack said:

This statement only caused a major uproar, and OT lost control of the meeting, so he left the arguers to it, and went outside and started up the.................

....... Wes-Australiese Jool- en Buisfederasie, which was understood and endorsed by the RSA expat box-heads who control aviation (lugvaart) (avref/lugverwy) in WA.

 

However, Onesie made an interpretation error and designated the distance for the straight-in approach as being expressed in kettings, which meant that the straight-in final started 36 m from the klavier sleutels and that was worse than Rule 303 and was ........

Edited November 7, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......over Hitler's Retirement Home.

Not many people know that Hitler, who was OneTrick's Great Uncle through his Austrian connection (none of the family recognised the relationship) did not die in the bunker that day but caught a Qantas flight from Berlin to Perth dressed as a WA BNS belle, and no one on the flight noticed, even with that moustache. When he got there the biggest structure in the State was the rabbit proof fence where the Aboriginal children walked along when they were trying to wag school, some weeds on top if the escarpment, and a marsh along the Swannee River. Hitler was made Minister for Womens Affairs and used that position to groom the famous women in WA Government. The 80's were his last big effort in Government where he mentored afrikaaners Adolph Band, and Janco Homscort. By that stage they were all flying Stukas [avef] and Hitler had financed the construction of the all-weather Jannikot airfield. No one thought anything unusual about the fliers becaise WA people were very trusting then, but OneTraak ........................

[Captain]

On 05/11/2022 at 12:08 PM, Captain said:

had been billed as the Slobodan Milosevich of the 21st century, so he ........

 

A DEFIANT TURBO DURING HIS INITIAL TRIAL

"i always knew that the guys at the fly-ins described turbs as a bit of a slobberer but did not realize that was his real name' said bull, once he came back into the nes.

[Captain]

5 hours ago, turboplanner said:

No one thought anything unusual about the fliers becaise WA people were very trusting then, but OneTraak ............

.... one of the few clear thinkers in WA, knew that most of the other Nazis buggered off to Argentina and Argentina was still competing to lure the Big H (as he was known to his mates at the JandakotLuftStallag (the JLS). (Most NESers will also know that Argentina and WA are still competing to be in the lowest performing economy in the southern hemisphere, but that is another story line for a future NES).

 

A few of the wags at the JLS called the Big H an AH-ole behind his back, but he didn't get the joke, although Eva had a little titter that matched her tiny little  .......

 

 

A RECENT PIC OF EVA AT THE FREO BOTANIC GARDENS, SHOWING THEM OFF.

(Feel free to enlarge this photo if required)

 

 

BIG H HAVING A LAUGH WITH HIS JLS MATES AT THE SOUTHERN CROSS FLY-IN

ONCE HE HAD HAD A SKIN-FULL OF SCHNAPS.

The brown shirt and the shoulder strap fit in perfectly in WA ......... and blends in with Marky Mark's Security and Covid Police (the much-feared S&CP).

Edited November 7, 2022 by Captain

[onetrack]

.....feet, that everyone admired when any local B&S ball was on. Of course, AH was a favourite at the B&S balls, because of his ill-fitting womans disguise that he still used. Despite that, a few of the bachelors from the more remote regions of W.A., where men were men and women were rarely seen, fell for AH's disguise and kept making moves to crack onto AH.

 

But AH was smart enough to keep them at arms length (as he was prone to do with nearly everyone who got near him, especially in the latter stages of the War).

 

Meantimes, when AH wasn't spending his evenings dressed up at B&S balls, he was spending time sussing out W.A. aircraft development and W.A. airfields, in his plan to start up WW3 and finally acquire what he missed out on, in WW2. 

To that end, he visited every hangar and factory that even had a faint whiff of Avgas about it - still always dressed in drag, of course. It was while he was on a visit to Persistent Aerospace, the local drone manufacturer, that AH got so excited over PA's drones, that his wig nearly fell off, and he started to speak in.........

[turboplanner]

........Deutsch. "Achtung!, vot a thing!" he started "Joosten like my V1" and then reeled at his gaffe, but the WA dude was slow on the uptake as they are in that state where the old post war greeting "G'day knackers" with a grab at the end was still used by males and the females still had to sit up one end of the hall, so they didn't hear AH's slip.

Adolph asked the price and thought it was very reasonable so he asked for a deal on 10,000 drones.

What he didn't know was that these drones had a "return home" module, with the all important "Weapons OFF" dongle, and DoubleTrack was able to sell them over and over again, because who was to know where they went once they disappeared over the horizon, and this .....................

[Captain]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

with the all important "Weapons OFF" dongle, and DoubleTrack was able to sell them over and over again, because who was to know where they went once they disappeared over the horizon, and this ..........

..... was the 1st appearance of the Boomerdrone that has since been advanced and perfected, such that OZ doesn't need any nuclear submarines any more.

 

With a fleet of Boomerdrones that were waterproof and powered by a pocket-sized nuclear reactor, Xi crapped himself after the Chinese stole the plans, and the Russians surrendered immediately, which lead to ......

 

 

THE FINAL SHAPE OF THE BOOMERDROME. IT WAS ORIGINALLY

GOING TO BE A BENT STICK WITH A FEW DOTS ON IT, BUT THE

1ST NATIONS WANTED A 40% ROYALTY, WHICH EVEN ALBO

AND HIS BLEEDING HEART FOUND TO BE A LITTLE EXCESSIVE.

 

 

A PREVIOUSLY UNPUBLISHED PHOTO OF AH IN DRAG,

TAKEN WITH ONESIE'S BOX BROWNIE IN THE CRIB

ROOM AT PERSISTANT AEROSPACE

Edited November 8, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

8 hours ago, Captain said:

..... was the 1st appearance of the Boomerdrone that has since been advanced and perfected, such that OZ doesn't need any nuclear submarines any more.

 

With a fleet of Boomerdrones that were waterproof and powered by a pocket-sized nuclear reactor, Xi crapped himself after the Chinese stole the plans, and the Russians surrendered immediately, which lead to ......

 

 

THE FINAL SHAPE OF THE BOOMERDROME. IT WAS ORIGINALLY

GOING TO BE A BENT STICK WITH A FEW DOTS ON IT, BUT THE

1ST NATIONS WANTED A 40% ROYALTY, WHICH EVEN ALBO

AND HIS BLEEDING HEART FOUND TO BE A LITTLE EXCESSIVE.

 

 

A PREVIOUSLY UNPUBLISHED PHOTO OF AH IN DRAG,

TAKEN WITH ONESIE'S BOX BROWNIE IN THE CRIB

ROOM AT PERSISTANT AEROSPACE

....the Ukrainians incorporating all of Russia into Ukraine, releasing 30 million political prisoners in Siberia and banning the use of salt on every meal and in every drink in Russia. Within this 30 million were some of the smartest brains in the world, including ..................

[Captain]

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....the Ukrainians incorporating all of Russia into Ukraine, releasing 30 million political prisoners in Siberia and banning the use of salt on every meal and in every drink in Russia. Within this 30 million were some of the smartest brains in the world, including ..................

........ the Russian royal family who, while in custody for umpteen decades had bred up (there was nothing else to do when locked up) to be about 25,000 and they all looked like the bloke below, even the women.

 

But the release of all these toffs was nothing when the new expanded Ukraine started to pick fights with the Chinese across their shared border just north of Inner Mongolia.

 

As you can well imagine, the Ukrainians had their tails up and this really gave the Chinese the ........

 

 

 

 

[turboplanner]

......squirts because they had modelled their whole defence system on Russia’s, and the Ukrainians had just shown that a 14 year old with the right software could take them out before he opened his next coke can. There was only one person they could talk to......

[Captain]

16 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

......squirts because they had modelled their whole defence system on Russia’s, and the Ukrainians had just shown that a 14 year old with the right software could take them out before he opened his next coke can. There was only one person they could talk to......

...... Zelenshyy and his missus, because until their victory over Russia, China had bugger all Chinese to Ukrainian interpreters (after all, why would ya?).

 

"What we do (我们做什么)?" asked Xi to his Foreign Minister, who just happened to be learning Bulgarian in his spare time.

 

"I will solve the issue expeditiously (Ще реша въпроса експедитивно)" replied the FM.

 

"Don't be a smartarse with your foreign lingo (不要对你的外国术语很聪明)" answered Xi, and ...........

Edited November 8, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....had him tied to the next ICBM test missile and dropped in the sea of Japan, just to give the Japanes an idea of what they were in for if they laughed.

 

The Emperor ............

[Captain]

18 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....had him tied to the next ICBM test missile and dropped in the sea of Japan, just to give the Japanes an idea of what they were in for if they laughed.

 

The Emperor ............

...... was a bit confused, as he thought that it was North Korea that lobbed the missiles.

 

"But if that is what Turdboy says, then it must be the Chinese" concluded the Empelol "And prease stop these class nationalistic chalacterizations and taking the mickey prease Cappy".

 

"Velly solly mate" replied Cappy and went after Turdy's post.

 

"Listen Tubb" he said "The Koreans are a velly diffelent ethnic lace than the Chinese and if Kim isn't velly careful, the Ukrainians will kick his a*se too as they head onwards towards world domination and where the Zalenskyys will eventually be ..........

 

 

SOON TO CONTROL THE WORLD, AS JUST CHINA AND THE USA TO GO.

IT WILL BE NICE TO HAVE A BLONDE HOTTIE GIVING US INSTRUCTIONS.

SHE CAN HACK MY COMPUTER ANY TIME.

Edited November 9, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......take the place of the Kardashians and rule the world.

Turbo had indeed been correct about the Chinese lobbing missiles around Japan. He had been holidaying at the Cook compound in the Spratleys at the time Cappy had been in Washington having his Abe Lincoln photo take for an esoteric Facebook profile on a site limited to heads of state. We don't think the members were the sharpest tools in the drawer becaiuse they haven't yet picked up that President Abe is no longer with us, but back to the Spratleys. Turbo was squirting WD40 down the plug holes of the Corsairs and giving each one a run when he heard several whizzing noises. He set his Iphone to Slomo and waited for the next one. The video showed a low flying missile  with something "Yu Hitohito" and then three more. They certainly weren't North Korea because Kim's just plop into the sea.

It was while Turbo was out doing a few aerobatics and circling around radio masts and sh!t, that he saw................

 

[Captain]

6 hours ago, turboplanner said:

It was while Turbo was out doing a few aerobatics and circling around radio masts and sh!t, that he saw.......

...... a Ukrainian battle group sailing up the South China Sea, hell bent on testing Xi's resolve.

 

As it turns out this was a bit of a bluff as once Ukraine captured the Russian navy and put to sea again, they only had 4 sailors for each boat and only 6 officers for the entire fleet ...... not to mention that the country's credit card was max'd out buying fuel and Big Mac Happy Meals for 48 at today's high prices.

 

"Ziss weell be a great test of democracy at its finest" said Volodymyy to his hottie missus "As we will run each ship under Kibbutz-like principals and see how we go".

 

The Ukrainian battle group comprised 1 cruiser and a gaggle of destroyers (so Australia was at their mercy if they headed further south, and the fleet hadn't fired a shot since leaving Vladivostok, so when Turdy appeared over the horizon in one of his Corsairs, the Chinese on the Spratleys put down their dim sims and sat on their wharf to watch the show, while the Ukrainians locked on.

 

Turbo, on the other hand, saw his predicament and sh........

 

 

THE 48 UKRAINIANS IN THEIR BATTLE GROUP.

THIS PHOTO TAKEN BEFORE THEY LET FLY AT TURDY.

Edited November 9, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

...........shove the the throttle into War Power, hitting the Ki Gas button at the same time the Corsair picked up speed.

Turbo had been on the web and bought his GPS made by Graet Gpswith non glear sceen. It's line wasn't magenta but hey, who really cares as long as it tells us where to go. A sister company had flashed up, which sold military equipment, and had a handy MiG 29 system available for US$29.95 fee postage, so he'd bought that and had only just finished installing it in Charlie One [AvExplanation Corsair No 1] [avref] #genderNeutral, #USMilitary, #Combat, #TopGun, #FollowTheMagentaLineClub], and the Mig system had picked up the Lock, but what the Ukrainians didn't know was that Turbo had been asked by the CIA to check out the JCurveSubDrone developed by TurbineBattleIndustriesCabooltureInc. which was a wing mounted device, fully autonomous designed to pick up a lock, detach and spear off in a circle to confuse the enemy then zoom in and destroy Battleships, Carriers, aircrtaft, whatever locked the Corsair, and at the present time it was going through the Big U like a blowfly through Wagga Wagga or .............

Edited November 9, 2022 by turboplanner

[Captain]

22 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

...........shove the the throttle into War Power, hitting the Ki Gas button at the same time the Corsair picked up speed.

Turbo had been on the web and bought his GPS made by Graet Gpswith non glear sceen. It's line wasn't magenta but hey, who really cares as long as it tells us where to go. A sister company had flashed up, which sold military equipment, and had a handy MiG 29 system available for US$29.95 fee postage, so he'd bought that and had only just finished installing it in Charlie One [AvExplanation Corsair No 1] [avref] #genderNeutral, #USMilitary, #Combat, #TopGun, #FollowTheMagentaLineClub], and the Mig system had picked up the Lock, but what the Ukrainians didn't know was that Turbo had been asked by the CIA to check out the JCurveSubDrone developed by TurbineBattleIndustriesCabooltureInc. which was a wing mounted device, fully autonomous designed to pick up a lock, detach and spear off in a circle to confuse the enemy then zoom in and destroy Battleships, Carriers, aircrtaft, whatever locked the Corsair, and at the present time it was going through the Big U like a blowfly through Wagga Wagga or .............

Poor Cappy, who is just a normal battler in the NES, needs a bit of time to digest that, as his head is hurting.

 

No wonder AHlox buggered off ........... + bull and that CT from DG, apparently.

Edited November 9, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

2 hours ago, Captain said:

Poor Cappy, who is just a normal battler in the NES, needs a bit of time to digest that, as his head is hurting.

 

No wonder AHlox buggered off ........... + bull and that CT from DG, apparently.

It’s always hard when English is your second language.

[Captain]

21 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

It’s always hard when English is your second language.

And there dear readers is endemic Australian racism at work, so is it any wonder that us wogs and other 3rd & 4th Nations peoples are demanding a voice to Parliament and that immigrants be enshrined in the Constamatution?

 

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

...... blowfly through Wagga Wagga or .......

..... a mudwasp up your .......

Edited November 9, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

...............annulus. Mud Wasps of course are indigenous First-Nationed to Wagga Wagga  and each year at the annual Mud Wasp Stampede, thousands of peple each bring their annulus and trained wasps to see .....................

 

[Turbo apologises most profusely to Cappy for inferring that he was a wog, and also for the complicated hashtags in the story which require a University degree to understand. A few days ago Turbo was reading a self promotion about a new GM EV Ute all-electric with photos of it towing a huge Van and driving into the Arizona sunset on a road that looked like 500 km through the desert. The writer enhanced his story about the ute being big #huge truck!, towing anything #tow an iceberg from the Arctic and so on. When he got to 0 to 60 mph in 2 seconds #CorvetteBeater something in Turbo snapped and he casually looked at the author's name suprised to find this wasn't a GM ad but a concoction of hyperbole though up by someone in a three piece grey suit titled Vice President Executive Marketing. Turbo quickly typed #RANGE, #FW, #BackToFactoryFloor and within three minutes the Ute was gone. So readers, never underestimate the power of a hashtag.

 

[Captain]

11 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

...............annulus. Mud Wasps of course are indigenous First-Nationed to Wagga Wagga  and each year at the annual Mud Wasp Stampede, thousands of peple each bring their annulus and trained wasps to see ..................

......... all of the Mexicans who drive up from Moorabbin and other nearby sh*tholes for what all Mextorians think is the best & most exciting event that they have seen in decades.

 

"We love it up here in WW, the MWS is a fantastic event, and oh, feel the freedom once we crossed the Murray."said a Vicmanistani lady.

 

"I've never seen so many "Stand with Dan" bumper stickers" said Ahlox, a leading WW local (and possibly Citizen of the Year for 22/23).

 

"We all LOVE Dan, Dan's our man and we all love .......

[turboplanner]

......his manly stand on every issue, and that immortal line "I'm not here to discuss X, the X being any question a journalist asks. He departed from that this week when the journalists got their head together and remained quiet while one volunteer asked a suggestive question about Dan falling down stairs. "You'd have to interview the bottom step" answered Dan and that's all he had to say about that other than "Life is like a box of chocolates." 

 

For this year's MWS, Turbo is planning to fly up in an Opal Facet, and is not looking forward to the MWS opening by that effeminate wimp Pirouette. He's bringing one of his caged wasps which are so vicious that Dom won't know his annulus from a ............................

[onetrack]

....cannula, not that it matters much, as Dom has never had much knowledge of either. To outsiders, the MWS is a fascinating series of events, starting off with every entrant showing off their biggest and most frightening-looking Mud Wasp.

The second round of events involves how fast each entrants Mud Wasp can block up a pitot tube in a Jabiru (the aircraft choice ensuring this is an all-Australian event). 

 

The major entrant from W.A. was Halftrack, a half-brother to Onetrack. Halftracks Mud Wasp was a huge black-and-orange monster W.A. Mud Dauber Wasp which had a wingspan nearly as big as a Thruster, and which had been known to bite and paralyse smaller pilots and then bury them in a mud nest in a wall, as food for the young wasp larvae.

 

Halftracks Wasp took out the pitot-blocking competition with ease, blocking the Jabiru pitot in less than 0.3 seconds with two fast dabs of mud with its front feet. It was fortunate that with all the constant rain in the Eastern States, the W.A. Mud Wasp was in Mud Heaven, because it had never seen the level of mud that existed everywhere in the Eastern States at present - in W.A., it actually had to travel to dams to get its mud.

 

After the blue ribbon had been awarded to Halftracks Wasp for the pitot-blocking competition, it was on to the next round - which was to show the ability of each wasp entrant in relation to nest-building speed. Halftrack let his wasp go, and in less than 3 minutes, half the Jabiru had been plastered with mud, and 63 paralysed spiders had been daubed against it, ensuring that......

 

Edited November 10, 2022 by onetrack