The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

......there was ample warning to any other friggin' wasps that showed up. It wasn't much fun for the spiders either. CT was next and he tied a rabbit carcass to the Jab's Port strut. Then he disappeared back to his car and there was a whine like an FA18, and some thumping and the Jab hung down on one leg the way Cappy always landed. It was a Victorian Miner Wasp and true to it's name it had cut a man-sized shaft down through the top of the wing and the tank, but so far was the winner. When it was finished it bit the ear off Half Track's Mud Dauber and took a piece out of Half Track as well. CT quietened it down with the rabbit, nut when the next ..............

[Captain]

..... second it hoisted the Victorian flag (red with a sickle rampant over Dan's head) and sang ......

Edited November 10, 2022 by Captain

[bull]

On 07/11/2022 at 10:13 AM, Captain said:

all AUF members became familiar with the required wording being added to their pre-landing checklist "This is your captain speaking, so pay f'n attention to this announcement". 

..........Now before we depart into the bloody sky i need to make sure that...............                                                                                                            .[Bull has been missing for some neck surgery c/4c/5c6 ACDF and i,m home again now, so can keep old Bull in the picture!]

 

[bull]

4 hours ago, Captain said:

..... second it hoisted the Victorian flag (red with a sickle rampant over Dan's head) and sang ......

....some southern ditty whilst Turbo looked for a way out! Cappy suddenly looked over at Bull [who looked like "Lurch"]  and yelled.........

[Captain]

1 hour ago, bull said:

....some southern ditty whilst Turbo looked for a way out! Cappy suddenly looked over at Bullwho looked like "Lurch"]  and yelled.........

...... "g'day bull, old mate & welcome back. What's the real story with your neck, as Turdi has been telling everyone that it came from you having your head up your .......

[turboplanner]

21 minutes ago, Captain said:

...... "g'day bull, old mate & welcome back. What's the real story with your neck, as Turdi has been telling everyone that it came from you having your head up your .......

".....chimney as I see from your African American [black colour] eye sockets."

bull didn't see the funny side because he'd borrowed the Facet Opal just to try it out, and was swerving to avoid an Albatross when he went straight down the chimney and caught his ....................

[Captain]

28 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

".....chimney as I see from your African American [black colour] eye sockets."

bull didn't see the funny side because he'd borrowed the Facet Opal just to try it out, and was swerving to avoid an Albatross when he went straight down the chimney and caught his ....................

..... putter on the fire grate.

 

"I would have been happy with just a par score." said bull as he consulted with his advisors as they played the fourth hole.

 

"have you decided to run for the Presidency of Tasmania, sir bull?" asked one advisor.

 

however bull was preoccupied.

 

"what the heck is that WA dauber wasp doing in Tazzy, and why is it wearing a tiny Mountain Design parka?" he asked, not knowing that Turbs was growing them at a wasp farm just south of Strahan, hence the need for the small yet very warm clothing.

 

The cold (oh the cold) made the wasp really dirty, and it wasn't just the mud, and he saw bull as a ........

 

 

THE FEARSOME WA MUD DAUBER WASP

HERE SHOWN FULL SIZE.

THIS ONE HAS A RING ON HIS LEG SAYING PROPERTY OF TURBINE

WASP FARM AND THE WORD CAT CROSSED OUT WITH TEXTA

Edited November 10, 2022 by Captain

[onetrack]

......opportunistic source of warmth, so he carried his big ball of mud right up into bull's.......

[turboplanner]

.......armpit the second bull raised his arms to clap his hands toegther to get warm. Within seconds he was running flat out for the icy Gordon River, saved by Bopb Brown who had the foresight to see the river might be needed for something like this in the future. bull succeeded on two fronts (a) he got very warm and (b) the Gordon was so cold that he couldn't feel a thing, even the wasp twisting and turning its stinger. Mud Dauber wasps don't like the cold. The MDW sat in a tree for a while glowering at bull now peacefully swimming around in the Gordo as locals call it. It contemplated putting the stinger into that pink flesh, but saw an endangered platypus tasii, dived down, paralysed it and took it back up to the branch to eat. Not long after, a Bluehead [avref] could be heard buzzing along the river and a Thruster came around the corner with half a dozen fishing rods poking out of the passenger seat. It was ....................

Edited November 10, 2022 by turboplanner

[Captain]

..... one of the few Thrusters with 2 blueheads (avref).

The 2nd was the pilot (avref) who had been cruising at 15,000 ft trying to pick up favourable winds (he didn't want the jetstream as that went too fast and was full of jets, he wanted the thrusterstream and had found it at level 15 and minus 30 C), so not only was his head blue, but he was only wearing boardshorts and the end was about to drop off his ......

 

[bull]

2 hours ago, Captain said:

..... one of the few Thrusters with 2 blueheads (avref).

The 2nd was the pilot (avref) who had been cruising at 15,000 ft trying to pick up favourable winds (he didn't want the jetstream as that went too fast and was full of jets, he wanted the thrusterstream and had found it at level 15 and minus 30 C), so not only was his head blue, but he was only wearing boardshorts and the end was about to drop off his ......

 

.....go pro and he really wanted to catch the vision of a "thruster"flying along the Gordon river, but suddenly a group of protestors appeared and they had strung up some wires across the famous {by old Bob] Gordon river and the mighty Gemini hit them full on! Old Cappy saw that he had better...............

[Captain]

27 minutes ago, bull said:

.....go pro and he really wanted to catch the vision of a "thruster"flying along the Gordon river, but suddenly a group of protestors appeared and they had strung up some wires across the famous {by old Bob] Gordon river and the mighty Gemini hit them full on! Old Cappy saw that he had better...............

....... just hang on tight, as a Thuster hitting some wires across the Gordon was better than hitting a Tazzy Tiger sized Dauber Wasp and was not particularly earth (or even Thruster) shattering. In fact was just about similar to kissing Old Bob on the ......

Edited November 10, 2022 by Captain

[bull]

1 hour ago, Captain said:

....... just hang on tight, as a Thuster hitting some wires across the Gordon was better than hitting a Tazzy Tiger sized Dauber Wasp and was not particularly earth (or even Thruster) shattering. In fact was just about similar to kissing Old Bob on the ......

...........trip up to Claremont Qld to stop Adani,[got kicked out of town lol] as their was a lot of kissing going on at that time. Now the thruster had slid along the main wire and started to flip inverted[avref] Oh shit mouthed cappy as he.......

 

[Captain]

18 minutes ago, bull said:

...........trip up to Claremont Qld to stop Adani,[got kicked out of town lol] as their was a lot of kissing (NTTIAWWT) going on at that time. Now the thruster had slid along the main wire and started to flip inverted[avref] Oh shit mouthed cappy as he.......

 

..... carefully added a "NTTIAWWT into bull's above post so that no censure would come from Planey or the LMFHGTQIX community (many of whom are members of Wreck Flying) ............. then Cappy leapt into action and applied his considerable cat-like skills at the controls of the Thruster (which had nipped up one cylinder & whiskered the other plug while idling for yonks as it was hanging from the wire) and despite that reduced power Cappy pulled off (NTTIAWWT) an amazing & daring, yet fully coordinated ........

Edited November 10, 2022 by Captain

[bull]

On 11/11/2022 at 10:16 AM, Captain said:

..... carefully added a "NTTIAWWT into bull's above post so that no censure would come from Planey or the LMFHGTQIX community (many of whom are members of Wreck Flying) ............. then Cappy leapt into action and applied his considerable cat-like skills at the controls of the Thruster (which had nipped up one cylinder & whiskered the other plug while idling for yonks as it was hanging from the wire) and despite that reduced power Cappy pulled off (NTTIAWWT) an amazing & daring, yet fully coordinated ........

...........fool of himself,,,,,,,,,, as the media had came across a scene of a light aircraft with a large rat and some other creature  entangled in wires  hanging over the falls at the famous [because of Bob] Gordon river and the engine had separated and plunged into the water after the throttle had been applied [cappy] and the thruster was no more .  Just a twisted mess of wires and aluminium and rat hair and some other stuff you can not say on here .   After awhile a noise could be heard coming from the wreckage and........................

[onetrack]

........before long, a bushwalker who came across the scene, dialled 911 - before they realised they weren't in America any more - so they dialled 000, and told the operator they were at the site of a major aircraft disaster, and they needed all the help the dispatcher could offer. When the dispatcher said, "Police, Ambulance or Fire Brigade??", the caller replied, "All three, and tell them to hurry, because.......

[turboplanner]

".............there's an awful lot of blood and  a terrible rat-like smell, so some of the bodies may already started to decay in this toxic river; Oh and make sure they are all wearing Haz standard PPE."

 

The 000 dispatcher was a paid up founding member of the Greens, so disregarding the preservation of life and treatment of injuries she first asked if anyone was gay, and the bushwalker replying in the negative, she downgraded the even to non-urgent, and focused on the real problem, the potential environmental threat to the sacred environment.

 

"Is there something toxic on the plane?"  and the bushwalker replied "No, just nickel, cobalt, Lithium, manganese,vanadium, zinc and copper washing downstream from the Turbine Corp EV Car battery mine."

 

She immediately swung into action phoning Badman Ant in Canberr, the Press and TV Channels, and soon the noise from helicopters drowned out the pristine helicopters.

 

Cappy, who by now smelt like a Teslar car battery, was still screaming in pain, his head barely above the tea-black waters, and he cried "You XXXXXXX XXXXX, get........................................"

 

[Captain]

6 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Cappy, who by now smelt like a Teslar car battery, was still screaming in pain, his head barely above the tea-black waters, and he cried "You XXXXXXX XXXXX, get...................

..... me out of here, as my appendage is like a Tesla door handle (the term "frightened turtle" is no longer passe in these days of saving the planet..... and besides, they had all been killed when the dam was built).

 

The brave & loyal Cappy added by way of clarification that "The redoubtable Planey + some other NESers may object to the terms "XXXXXXX XXXXX" as reported above rather crassly by the TurgidPlonker, however I can confirm that they were definitely dead-set XXXXXXX XXXXXs & the worst I have ever seen (and let me tell you,  I've seen a few) with .......

Edited November 12, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

......my experience including Heathrow Airport, CASA, the Cowra Lawn Bowls Club, KFC, and ..................

[bull]

42 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

......my experience including Heathrow Airport, CASA, the Cowra Lawn Bowls Club, KFC, and ..................

.the front bar of the Bone rissole with Mavis after several wines,,,,not a very endearing account of his experience at all said Bull who had.................

[Captain]

30 minutes ago, bull said:

.the front bar of the Bone rissole with Mavis after several wines,,,,not a very endearing account of his experience at all said Bull who had.................

..... been there and had done that.

 

bull had fancied Mavis for years and in preparation he had practiced on soft & juicy Bowen (YBWN/ZBO - avref) mangoes after he had .......

Edited November 12, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....consumed a bottle of Bourbon and prepared a paper bag.

Cappy was transferred into the Mercy Flight helicopter, and flown to the Queen Victoria Hospital in Deloraine. 
it wouldn’t have surprised Cappy if QV came round the corner; it was so old and.......

[Captain]

38 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....consumed a bottle of Bourbon and prepared a paper bag.

Cappy was transferred into the Mercy Flight helicopter, and flown to the Queen Victoria Hospital in Deloraine. 
it wouldn’t have surprised Cappy if QV came round the corner; it was so old and.......

....... the menu had been prepared by QV (Cappy just knew here a Vicky in their intimate moments when Alby was out of town) and the food had been cooked just shortly thereafter and kept in the Deloriane cold stores and seafood disposal facility.

 

Poor Cappy was in a bad way but his natural inclination (avref) and attitude (avref) kept him bubbly, chipper, outgoing, optimistic, philosophical, fortitudinous, chatty and ........

 

 

THE TYPE OF OVER-RIPE MANKY MANGO FAVOURED BY BULL

- he even wore the paper bag while practicing.

(BUT HE NEEDED THEM BIGGER THAN THESE, OF COURSE)

THIS IS THE TYPE OF HIGHJINKS THAT BUGGERED HIS NECK.

Edited November 13, 2022 by Captain

[onetrack]

.....regularly indulging in patting the nurses on their derrieres - which led to him getting a..........

[turboplanner]

reprimand from the Doctor, telling him to "Keep the the ball in the centre" (avref).

He looked out the port window (avref), and saw an airfield. It was an all-over airfield. It had biplanes, and they were powered by the radial engines that Foxhunter brings up in every discussion about Jab engines.

Down the aisle came.......it couldn't be ..........it WAS; Biggles!

"Good Day! oald chap" said Biggles; Heard there was a Flaar in here; theought only rart that one should drop in and say hello"

Cappy ..............................