The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

...magic unicorn and SonOfChurchill, who was a Pom. "it's climate change" said mu, and raced down to the Native Titles office and made a claim on DG Airport so he could declare it an EV park. (We are not talking about the average zombie here) "What's your ancestry" asked the bored official. mu bristled; he was not about to tell anyone he was illegitimate, then realised what the BO wanted and said "I'm a Magunic Man from Darrawim" and the stamp dropped with a bang. nu now owned the Darraeweit International Airport worth $350 million. He immediately consulted his tribal elder Socadji and they declared it an EV Park. Then they made their encampment, had a smoking ceremony, and sat down for a feed of rabbits.

 

This was a big mistake, because you didn't mess with CT anytime anywhere. The 203 people who sat down in front of him at the 2015 Falls Festival can vouch for that, because...............

[Captain]

24 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

This was a big mistake, because you didn't mess with CT anytime anywhere. The 203 people who sat down in front of him at the 2015 Falls Festival can vouch for that, because...........

....... they are all sleeping under the 2nd Rapid Exit Taxiway ....... and CT planted them there for free (what a ct).

 

Back then CT and UN had a jointly owned civilworks contracting company called CTUN Concreting, and CT had to pay UN 203 times for this work, as UN wanted nothing to do with freebies.

 

CT has a similar reputation on Wreck Flying, evidenced by .....

Edited November 25, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........his lack of posts in his own name; he is a pop up with other names like IMadawun from Dubbo asking how to fly a Jab because he is starting a charter business, or how to avoid carrying an ASIC and still being a pilot, or  "Is it OK to put Jet -A1 in a Rotax"?, or "Who's got a licence"? and he gets lots of replies, but he's only looking for strip ballast, but ...........

[Captain]

23 hours ago, turboplanner said:

he's only looking for strip ballast, but ..........

...... the demand for un-commemorated vertical grave sites was outstripping supply (CT & UN can only auger out so many holes in a day, so .......

[turboplanner]

.......they opted for aerial deployment. Turbo agreed to hire his old B52, which he had found on a Coral Atoll in the Pacific, where it apparently forced landed after a fuel problem, and the island was too short to take off again. Turbo found the fuel had turned a brown colour and was able to immdediately diagnose that it was contaminated by running too fast through the lines, eroding them on the bends and causing a build up on the blades which reduced power by 23.22%, and was exacerbated by the fuel being supplied at a profit of 79.8% per litre, so he drained the old fuel into the Pacific put in a tanker load of Jet-A1 and flew the B52 to Cappy's strip in the Spratleys where he repainted it in Chinese camo and no one noticed it, but sometimes .............

[Captain]

17 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

but sometimes ........

..... it does get noticed when Turbs does his usual poser fly-by under the Sydney Harbour Bridge, and on each occasion an FA18 is scrambled from Williamtown, at which point Turbo always ..........

[turboplanner]

...................calls up the pilots on their discrete frequency (some idiot yank had scratched it into the panel during the atomic tests in the Pacific), and reminds them he has video of the last base coming out party, and that usually allows him a leisurely flight up to Pine Gap where he gives them the one wing down flypast and calls on the radio in Chinese, but ..............

[Captain]

17 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

...................calls up the pilots on their discrete frequency (some idiot yank had scratched it into the panel during the atomic tests in the Pacific), and reminds them he has video of the last base coming out party, and that usually allows him a leisurely flight up to Pine Gap where he gives them the one wing down flypast and calls on the radio in Chinese, but ..............

............ that joke is becoming a little tiresome because Turbo has done it every month since ......

 

 

TURBO PAID A FORTUNE FOR THIS ONE BEFORE HE REALISED IT IS A MOK-UP

THEN HE JUST GRINNED AND BOUGHT THE ONE THAT HE FLIES TODAY.

IT MUST BE NICE TO HAVE AN INEXHAUSTABLE SUPPLY OF MONEY .....

YET HE REMAINS SO HUMBLE ....... + SUCH A LOYAL FRIEND.

Edited November 26, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

......he flew it back to base. Now and again he puts Mogadishu in it but has to choke the volatiles before he puts them in. The aircraft in Cappy’s photo was built by the Papuans as a new way to attract the US Airforce Dakota biscuit bombers who used to drop biscuits to build up their strength carrying wounded diggers on their shoulders, but.........

[onetrack]

.....the Papuans decided they needed something more than plain biscuits, so they built temples to the American Sky Gods and their aircraft, so they could acquire a lot more than just biscuits.

 

Turbo always wanted a Sky God Temple built in his honour, but he never managed to con enough natives to get one built for him. That was the case, only until the day he promised.......

 

(and here we have the drawing that Turbo hocked around between the tribes, fully expecting them to knock this up for him, in less than a week......)

 

 

[turboplanner]

...........an ethanol-free fuel detector for every step.

The pyramid was erected in a week because the Papuan family usually owned a whippersnipper, brush cutter, power shears, leaf blower and four chainsaws and a FAR 103 aircraft. “We couldn’t be sure we were getting ethanol-free fuel because the kids had ripped the numbers off the pumps” said limpo jalimpo “but I’m told you people just buy anything without looking at the pumps.” There was an embarrassed stirring by a group of 15 Foxbat owners who were walking the Kokoda Trail as therapy after having to fix fuel lines and do engine rebuilds and.........

[onetrack]

.....do constant fuel testing and fuel examination, which nearly drove them insane - so a leisurely walk up the Kokoda, to clear their distressed and overloaded minds, was obviously the order of the day.

 

Suddenly, the leader of the Kokoda Trail group discovered an unknown aircraft wreck - obviously very old. Almost certainly a WW2 bomber. The excitement levels rose amongst the group as they tried to ID it. "It's an A-20 Havoc!" exclaimed one. "No, it's a Nakajima Ki-49!" said another. "Rare as! The war historians will love this find!"

 

But right about then, another trail group member who had wandered off the trail a little, called out, "Hey men! Come and look at this! It looks like someone started building a temple here, and then......

[turboplanner]

...........they saw the paintive sign "GREETING MEN FROM ORSTRALIA. BEWAR, I USE FUEL FROM GAS STATION PUMP, NO XXXXXXX GOOD, NOT EVEN MAKE KAMIKAZE TARGET.

a Skeleton lay close by. Around its neck was a sign "Esso puts a tiger in your tank" .

The Australians wondered what could have gone wrong, did they.................

[Captain]

On 26/11/2022 at 4:41 PM, Captain said:

........ IT MUST BE NICE TO HAVE AN INEXHAUSTABLE SUPPLY OF MONEY ......

Side Note ------ I just had a call from Turbo & he was almost too excited to speak clearly ....... as he just had another windfall when one of the Chinese Squadlon Readers on the Splatlees offered Tubb a 5th gen fighter to replace his ratty old F16.

 

So the news is that Turbs now has a low hours J20 and the below photo was taken when he did his low pass over Chez Cappy and said bugger the Kapooka Restricted Airspace ...... although a couple of the more zealous recruits let fly at him with automatic weapons fires (AWF).

 

 

[turboplanner]

32 minutes ago, Captain said:

Side Note ------ I just had a call from Turbo & he was almost too excited to speak clearly ....... as he just had another windfall when one of the Chinese Squadlon Readers on the Splatlees offered Tubb a 5th gen fighter to replace his ratty old F16.

 

So the news is that Turbs now has a low hours J20 and the below photo was taken when he did his low pass over Chez Cappy and said bugger the Kapooka Restricted Airspace ...... although a couple of the more zealous recruits let fly at him with automatic weapons fires (AWF).

 

 

.....it was touch and go for Turbo over Kapooka that day, but he was safely away when the sergeant came out and said "WHEN I ORDER YOU TO LET FLY AT SOMEONE THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU THROW YOUR XXXXXXX WEAPON!!!!!!

 

Turbo decided to make another pass, the .......................

[Captain]

18 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Turbo decided to make another pass, the .........

...... reason being that while Turdy said it was "touch & go" (avref) he couldn't do that yet as he hadn't mastered the landing (avref) technique of a J20, so he had to make it a "pass" (avref) because Tubb needed 5000 m of safe concrete to get the thing landed and stopped (the only Manual available with the J20 was headed "HOW TO RAND" but was in a dialect of Mandarin, and Turbo can only read his Apple).

 

The only location in range with 5000 m is DG International so he peeled off (avref [& mandarinref]) and headed south to the safety & security of the China-like Dan Land, so the J20 felt at home (although the cockpit voice prompts often broke in and said "Try not to be so ham-fisted on the contlolles, you crot". (Turbo also chuckled when in Ground Following Mode under the radar at Albury, the voice said "Tellain, Tellain, purr up"., to the extent that after he flared at DGI, Turbo found himself saying "Rand you bugger ......... then 3000 metres later "Prease stop".

 

But Tiubo's innate skills have saved him many times when he has gone too far, and in this case, those skills ......

 

 

TURDBOY ON LATE FINAL AT DGI

"Were is the randing gear rever" he was heard to yell.

Edited November 28, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

4 hours ago, Captain said:

...... reason being that while Turdy said it was "touch & go" (avref) he couldn't do that yet as he hadn't mastered the landing (avref) technique of a J20, so he had to make it a "pass" (avref) because Tubb needed 5000 m of safe concrete to get the thing landed and stopped (the only Manual available with the J20 was headed "HOW TO RAND" but was in a dialect of Mandarin, and Turbo can only read his Apple).

 

The only location in range with 5000 m is DG International so he peeled off (avref [& mandarinref]) and headed south to the safety & security of the China-like Dan Land, so the J20 felt at home (although the cockpit voice prompts often broke in and said "Try not to be so ham-fisted on the contlolles, you crot". (Turbo also chuckled when in Ground Following Mode under the radar at Albury, the voice said "Tellain, Tellain, purr up"., to the extent that after he flared at DGI, Turbo found himself saying "Rand you bugger ......... then 3000 metres later "Prease stop".

 

But Tiubo's innate skills have saved him many times when he has gone too far, and in this case, those skills ......

 

 

TURDBOY ON LATE FINAL AT DGI

"Were is the randing gear rever" he was heard to yell.

...resulted in the wheels touching imperceptibly and the aircraft coming to a smooth crawl well before the end of the runway, Turbo gave the twin 30 mm canons a burst of 2000 rounds, and killed 17 bunnies for CT, then it was off to the.......................

[bull]

Inaugural reunion at the Bob, even Mavis was dusting off her............

[Captain]

2 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

...resulted in the wheels touching imperceptibly and the aircraft coming to a smooth crawl well before the end of the runway, Turbo gave the twin 30 mm canons a burst of 2000 rounds, and killed 17 bunnies for CT, then it was off to the.......................

....... DG Pub for a skinfull.

 

"While I iron myself out, just top her up please CT, and I'll do a few circuits and put the chooks off their laying." Said Turbo. "But how do you do 12 touch & goes when you have to use an arrestor chute each time?"

 

CT is an aviation expert and replied .......

[turboplanner]

....you don't have to use the arrestor chute if you're just doing circuits; one pedant argued that if you were flying straight corners, an octagon with an OAT less than 17 degees C, and you had more than 50% seived and mixed fuel from a well-known pump brand, and it was less than 13 days old and not brown, you would have to use the chute every second ciruit.

Foxhunter said it had been raining lately.

There was a general discussion on the benefit of tail wheels, but a scream, across the sky signalled .............

 

 

[onetrack]

.......the arrival of bull in his souped-up Jacka, which was running on a mixture of nitromethane, avgas, benzene and methanol. He made a perfect 3-point landing and drew up alongside CT, Cappy and Turbo, who were more than a little surprised to see him.

 

"I use this fuel to get right away from fuel quality problems, and to get more power out of the ole Bluehead!" he stated, as he stepped out. "I mix it myself, so no refining or distribution problems, nor are any shonky servo owners involved! Plus, it halves my travel time between Tassie and DG, and as a result, I can afford to..........

[turboplanner]

.......buy one of the new Turbine Service Station franchises. Turbo had been following closely with bated breath (short for abated breath, not the baited breath that some forunites admit to), and the twists and turns of a fuel thread on social media until he realised that what was on the market, and people used by the billion litres a day could be sourced from Turbine Cat Farms, not only that but he could use the rat p!ss as well. This was a win win situation and he added the 10% alcohol content necessary for combustion by distilling it from hemp byproducts at a Griffith facility owned by Cappy whose name was on the management board of the Griffith RSL. What could he call it? He thought for a long time and finally came up with "Turbine puts a TIGER in your tank." The sales volume was so good he had to pull product from several dog pounds, then cattle lots, then..................

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

What could he call it? He thought for a long time and finally came up with "Turbine puts a TIGER in your tank." The sales volume was so good he had to pull product from several dog pounds, then cattle lots, then............

, after Turbs came up with the totally original promo of supplying fake Tiger's Tails that the punters could hang out of their filler caps, Turbo added the zoo to his supply chain in order to get the real stuff, but it wasn't all plain (avref) sailing (boatref).

 

"Have you ever tried to whack a 25 mm diameter catheter 100 cm up a real tiger?" he explained after he got out of hospital "I was only saved by my baited breath, which was so-named because it smelt like old prawns 5 days after the fridge went off (there is a subtle power warning there for Mextorians as they shut down more power stations).

 

Turbo found that once the seepage and infection stopped and the bandages were removed, the scratches on his face added mystery & ruggedness, as he looked like he had been slashed 5 times in a sword fight, so his success rate with the ladies tripled and he ........

 

THE TIGER WAS PRETTY SNAKEY, EVEN BEFORE TURBO INSERTED THE CATHETER

 

 

Edited November 28, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......had his own box at all the Supercar events, The Indy 500, and the Delhi Dash. It reminded him of another time when he and Cappy flew the J230 to Delhi to hunt Tiger with the Maharaja of Assore;

The two were allocated an elephant and Cappy said he needed to sit at the back and rest his o.5 Holland and Holland on Turbo's shoulder, giving Turbo his defence weapons. It was very boring for the first two hours, and then they found their tiger. You can hear both barrels on the H&H going off, see te result of Cappy's legendary shooting skills which left Turbo to dispatch it with two bamboo sticks and a kick to the shoulder, before.................

 

 

[Captain]

8 hours ago, turboplanner said:

ou can hear both barrels on the H&H going off, see te result of Cappy's legendary shooting skills which left Turbo to dispatch it with two bamboo sticks and a kick to the shoulder, before...........

...... Turbo said, in his usual calm & considered manner, "Don't worry Cappy dear friend, as I have done this before."

 

"Done it before?" questioned Cappy with just a hint of anxiety showing in his voice (The Skipper has done some dopy stuff in his life, but this was certainly up there).

 

"Yes Captain, my best mate, please just hollow out that piece of bamboo and turn it into a bamboo catheter after which I will subdue this particularly cranky tiger by sticking it up his .........

 

 

THE VIEW THAT TURBO HAD, JUST BEFORE HE REACHED

IN & GRABBED THE TIGER BY THE GOOLEYS, THEN QUICKLY INSERTED

CATHETER #2. (TURBO IS NOTHING, IF NOT BRAVE YET

FOOLHARDY ALTHOUGH NEVER OPINIONATED, BUT THAT

IS WHY HE IS SO BELOVED BY  EVERYONE ON WRECK FLYING (AVREF).

Edited November 29, 2022 by Captain