The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

..... when it comes to shrubbery and dunny drains, bull is in his element, so he .....

[bull]

2 hours ago, Captain said:

..... when it comes to shrubbery and dunny drains, bull is in his element, so he .....

.designed a new dunnydrain in the shrubbery to drain out the overflow of bs infecting the NES and this was so successful that the rat {elcappo] was soon seen...........

[Captain]

6 minutes ago, bull said:

.designed a new dunnydrain in the shrubbery to drain out the overflow of bs infecting the NES and this was so successful that the rat {elcappo] was soon seen...........

... trying to license it before Tink formed Turbine Dunny Drains PLC, which would be a subsidiary of .....

[turboplanner]

.....Exit Strategy Inc. which had mader millions from people paying to disappear, including many prominent politicians. Lord Lucan regularly achored the ads. Often the first link in the disappearing process would be a train for bus or hotel lobby, and the addition of the Dunny Drain segment would keep people away at that sensitive time when someone asked "Are you Lord Lucan" etc and their ego got in the way.

 

El Ratatou quickly found bull and started spraying him with Mexican tan and buying Tequilas, he wasn't the most easy of friends to have, but El Chaperone hired a hit squad, told them to get El Ratatou vamosed, but qietly loaded the guns with blanks.

 

The result was so shattering for the sneaky rat  that he went off the grog and prayed to Hesysoos for saving him in what he considered a miracle and Haysoos answered him from behind a rock, saying verily " It was not I, my son, but your good friend El Chaperone who has the power to turn bullets into burp gun pellets"

 

El Ratatou, being what he is, missed the lesson about the chivalry, yet power, of El Chaerone and made a mental note to ...........

[Captain]

19 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

El Ratatou, being what he is, missed the lesson about the chivalry, yet power, of El Chaerone and made a mental note to ...........

...... in future try to write sensible notes, because ......

[turboplanner]

.....he’d forgotten which aircraft he flew in and had to....

[Captain]

30 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.....he’d forgotten which aircraft he flew in and had to....

..... undertake a BFR on all of the types on which he was current.

 

"Where the stuff can I get an FA18 at this time of the arvo" said the local CFI.

 

"Don't worry mate", said Rata "It's easy when you have been a Group Captain in 6th Squadron (retired with honours), so they will have one here in 34 minutes (it would have been earlier but they cannot go supersonic over Dan's joint nor over chez Turbo), but once they are out over the water they will give-it-the-berries (avref), probably break the windows simultaneously in the 1Root and bull mansions, then will .......

Edited December 25, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

".....call "ten miles" and land 2 seconds later which might mess up the Cinese ADSBs."

And sure enough NES readers, an FA18 called "ten miles" at ....................

 

[Captain]

...... Flinders Island and was in its parking spot with engine off 15 seconds later.

 

"We love messing with ATCs heads like that" said .......

[turboplanner]

........CT who had kept very quiet about his service in Afghanistan and the South China sea. NESsers are asked not to tell anyone, but FA18s fitted with drop tanks have a range of Moscow, which is why we bought them to handle any "emergency" (Tony Abbott's threat to "Shirtfront" Vlad was not the posturing the left thought it was and Vlad knew one in the guts from an FA18 was a distinct possibility). As the group sat on the luxurious verandah at CT's FI Compound sipping cocktails, CT ecplained there were no rabbits on FI because Captain Cook shot them all for food when he was exploring Bass Strait. Since FI was International Territory they were free to gamble, and ..........

Edited December 25, 2022 by turboplanner

[Captain]

..... debauch, except that there was not a lady person with which to interact (and the mutton birds were certainly in hiding once they realised what was going on), so Cookey & the boys had to settle for m.......

Edited December 25, 2022 by Captain

[CT9000]

......meanwhile all this talk of frivolity on the islands raised a thought about the outcome of inbreeding like what happened down on that larger island down south. You all know the place called Taswhatsit or something. The place where the V8 engine was invented (two heads). Any way in breeding might be a great idea to align the process involved for regulation reform, to control all those idiots wanting to fly those dangerous home  made Ornithopters (avref)....... 

[CT9000]

Special post. Captain and Turbs were having too much fun on their own, so I applied a little left rudder (Avref again) .

[Captain]

2 hours ago, CT9000 said:

Special post. Captain and Turbs were having too much fun on their own, so I applied a little left rudder (Avref again) .

Which is very apt, CT, as Turbo's politics have always been very left wing, and recently more particularly so since he joined the "Stand With Dan" movement. He even has framed autographs on his mantel from John Setka and Lidia Thorpe. I know this as I have been one of the select few to see the mantel 1st hand in his Trophy Room.

[turboplanner]

2 hours ago, Captain said:

Which is very apt, CT, as Turbo's politics have always been very left wing, and recently more particularly so since he joined the "Stand With Dan" movement. He even has framed autographs on his mantel from John Setka and Lidia Thorpe. I know this as I have been one of the select few to see the mantel 1st hand in his Trophy Room.

Turbo had always been this way since his days in the SAS. When they marched, which wasn’t very often because they were mostly fighting ...... among themselves, it was always “Left, Right, Left, Right and Turbo was taught “Left comes first” It took a while but he never forgot........

[Captain]

25 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Turbo was taught “Left comes first” It took a while but he never forgot........

....... hence his relationship with Lidia, where Turbo masqueraded as the socialist leader of a motorcycle gang (The Turgid Plonkers), so that he could see whose politics were the most to the left and whether the "Left comes First" saying was true.

 

As it turned out, Turbo concluded that .......... 

[turboplanner]

.....he had to learn how to ride a bike and over the years finished up with one leg shorter than the other from kicking a Harley. And he knew every Harley part number because he’d fitted every one at least three times. It was in ......

[Captain]

7 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.....he had to learn how to ride a bike and over the years finished up with one leg shorter than the other from kicking a Harley. And he knew every Harley part number because he’d fitted every one at least three times. It was in ......

........ hibiting at first, but then he started to enjoy being turned from a rider into a mechanic, and that put him in good stead for ............

[onetrack]

......his learning period in Victoristan, where he realised he would have to do more than ride (and fix) a Harley - he had to learn how to fix bicycles, too. This was because Comrade Dan, during his time in China under Chairman Hu Jintao, worked as a bicycle repairman, and learnt all he needed to know about politics and State leadership, from fixing bicycles.

 

It was unfortunate that Dan was expelled from China during the Great Purge of 2013, which resulted in Zhou YongKang (a close associate of Dan) being jailed for life a couple of years later - but Dan realised he could turn an unfortunate turn of events into one of Great Fortune (in the finest Chinese fashion), by returning to Victoristan, where he could bide his time, before he seized control of the State in 2014.

 

Turbo therefore quickly came to understand, that a quick ride to the top in the Peoples Republic of Victoristan could only come from fixing bicycles. And besides, the bicycle business would now start to boom after the re-election of Chairman Dan, and public transport in Victoristan would soon become totally dependent on bicycles, right after Chairman Dan declared that petrol and diesel cars would be banned, and money spent on public transport could be better spent elsewhere, once the State became a region of dedicated bicycle-riders.

 

To further progress the environmental credentials of the Left, Chairman Dan and First Lady Lidia Thorpe would also propose that all Victoristanians would have to revert to wearing kangaroo skins, as Lidia's ancestors did, before the arrival of the exploitative White Man. This would greatly benefit the State, because it would also lead to...........

[turboplanner]

....the production of Turbine Kangaroo Scrotums. Not so funny for the kangaroos, but this in turn will lead to coins - the five dollar coin, 10 dollar coin, 40 dollar coing, 100 dollar coin, and this in turn will lead to shops we will call Banks because they will have banks of tellers whose job will be to tell us whether we can take out more money, or if we bring in too much, tell us to P!ss off.

This will also shorten the nights at the Club where Cappy has been moaning for ten years that the checkout chicks at Coles ignore him when he wants to withdraw $10,000 cash like he used to when banks were real.

Of course no one .............

[Captain]

..... thought about the dangerous side effects caused by millions of eunuch bucks and sexualising frustrated & aggressive does, which made the females as dangerous as tigers and the males as ......

Edited December 26, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

...savage as lions.

Turbo hired an Africaaner who'd had a job as a scrotum collector at a safari park in South Africa, but given it away because he was constantly bitten. 

At the end of the first week Turbo asked him how he was going.

"I hed to learn how to jump forst with the kangaroo" he said, then a slet with the knife and it was orl eauver. I grebbed a few does by mistek at first and they can kuck like hill, but ut's OK now." The visitors ...............

 

[Captain]

..... kept asking about how the Roos would be able to procreate without the essential dangly bits and bull was able to show them based on his experience in Van Diemens Land, so he stood in front of the crowd of visitors and ......

[turboplanner]

.....at first he was very reluctant to display his technique, then he became very picky about the surface he was to perform on, then it became obvious he was only going to do a solo, but then at 2:07 he was into it, and...................

 

 

 

[Captain]

..... the crowd was divided. Some were shocked, some were turned on (bull received 3 proposals of marriage),  others were keen to adopt this as a new lifestyle choice, yet others .......