The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

... we have a proposal before the Vicmanistan government to bring back tribal law, spearings and sharia, so you fellas will be .....

[turboplanner]

.........and he droned on with a 20 minute pep talk. He was very good at telling others what to do, but suddenly he was caught!.  Malcolm McKenzie, a womalong man from Jabba Jaba yelled ".......we got Captain Cook to teach us battle tactics!."

Now Turbo has mentioned fighting beside Cappy in the Punjab and Kyber Pass (there's nothing more debilitating than being hit in the Punkab), but astute NES readers will notice that Turbo has never mentioned Cappy fighting in front of Turbo, always behind hima as water boy or ammunition moll. Now here was Cappy dobbed in to teach a bunch of 8th generation kids who'd never seen a boomerang, thought a Woomera was the name of a rocket range, and weren't all that accurate with a club, and they were about to be trained by a Kapooka veteran, most active at the afternoon bar!

Cappy hesitated for a moment then came up with a spectacular plan................................

[Captain]

.... and decided to defer to Turbo, who, while never having won the VC, had twice had the VD (known amongst the veterans as the VD & Scar).

 

Turdy rose to his feet when somebody in the front row asked to see his scar, and he ......

[turboplanner]

.......had to play along with Cappy's introduction. The scar was from a time when he was flying a French registered Pietenpol across the English channel. The head bolts had stretched mid -channel and the only thing Turbo could do was put his arm over the head and clamp it down tight. He ignored the stabbing pain from the near red hot exhausts, bit they left a U shape scar under his right arm and ...................

[Captain]

14 hours ago, turboplanner said:

He ignored the stabbing pain from the near red hot exhausts, but they left a U shape scar under his right arm and ......

..... to hide that U shaped scar, Turbo had a tattoo added over it, the result of which is shown below.

 

This caused some problems each time Tubb travelled to NZ, where .......

 

 

Edited December 29, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

4 minutes ago, Captain said:

..... to hide that U shaped scar, Turbo had a tattoo added over it, the result of which is shown below.

 

This caused some problems each time Tubb travelled to NZ, where .......

 

 

....it was a secret Code among airmen. We can's say what it means because it's secret, and a code, but ............ 

[Captain]

6 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....it was a secret Code among airmen. We can't say what it means because it's secret, and a code, but ............ 

..... Turbo was accustomed to it, as for most of his life, every time that he whipped "it" out,  the ladies would say "Eww" and run .....

Edited December 29, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

..........but he carried it stoically because its post-modernism significance meant that ...............

 

 

 

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

..........but he carried it stoically because its post-modernism significance meant that ...............

 

 

 

..... Turbo was always getting into fights, as every 2nd guy in NZ, and also in Tazzy, thought that he had a tattoo of their girlfriend, so .....

[turboplanner]

1 hour ago, Captain said:

..... Turbo was always getting into fights, as every 2nd guy in NZ, and also in Tazzy, thought that he had a tattoo of their girlfriend, so .....

.......he lost valuable time in the CIA/ASIO operation where the situation was made worse by the contact question, a look over his shoulder and "Is she your girlfriend" and Turbo's code answer was "Yes", so there were continuous fights when NZ, Tas, and some FNQers overheard and saw the tattoo at the same time. However, finally the correct contact arrived and they got down to business. She needed to fly from The Rock, with fouur boxes of ..........................

 

 

[Captain]

..... lanolin (Turbo's usual aftershave) and a ....

[turboplanner]

Drum of moonshine to power .......................

[onetrack]

....all the crew, and to use as a negotiating tool, when they encountered restless natives, who were only too willing to .....

[turboplanner]

...put the mix into their Cessna 206 which they used to .................

[Captain]

57 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

...put the mix into their Cessna 206 which they used to .................

...... smuggle even more lanolin into Wagga International and then on to the Blue Oyster, which AhLox used to give the ......

[turboplanner]

.......staff.........

[Captain]

48 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......staff.........

.... who .....

[turboplanner]

....could then easily slip out of the grip of some of the patrons like Cappy who would make a grab.........................

[Captain]

.... because the BOB had become known as a Grab-A-Granny joint and the lanolin made it easier for the .....

[turboplanner]

...Grannies to get out of the clutches of the likes of Cappy.

A journalist, interviewing Grabby Smith for a story in Life magazine asked why she was there in the first placed if she needed lanolin. She looked at him poker-faced and said "Well it wasn't for bed sores." Cappy looked very uncomfortable,  and ...............

[Captain]

.... produced his counterfeit AMA card, because as a fake Doctor he had authority to rub whatever he liked wherever he wanted, which had Grabby, Mavis, Dorry (& Ahlox) lining up to receive his special lanolin tantric .....

Edited December 31, 2022 by Captain

[onetrack]

....self love, which Cappy was well known for indulging in. However, when the people lining up for the lanolin deal, found out the lanolins origins were........

[Captain]

2 hours ago, onetrack said:

....self love, which Cappy was well known for indulging in. However, when the people lining up for the lanolin deal, found out the lanolins origins were........

..... from Vicmanistan and the sheep were those that believed what Dan had said and then joined the Stand-with-Dan cult.

 

"How did they get "lanolin" out of that mob (sheepref)?" asked bull. [the actual quote from bull was ... how did they get lanolin out of that mob ... and Cappy took the liberty of adding the punctutilliation.

 

"Well" replied Turbo who is well versed in such "lanolin" extraction matters "First you have to take them out to dinner, go see an R rated movie and then you can .....

[turboplanner]

......leave them to drip overnight, and.............................

[Captain]

8 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

......leave them to drip overnight, and.............................

.... that is just like we do in Tazzy said bull when we sneak into the rubber plantations and the poppy farms and harvest our own .....

 

PS - NESers should add their own punctuation into bull's quote.