The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

............the annihiliation and extinction of most of the English-speaking people of Tasmania.

This was a problem because...........

[Captain]

..... this demanded a full re evaluation of safety protocols and Chris Bowen stepped in even, even though he was a holidays in the Caribean, flown there by private jet.

 

"Imagine if we could just harness the power contained in that whistler" said Chris and declared Turbo a National Treasure. "This is the new technology that I have been looking for and for which we can retrain all of the coal miners before shutting a heap of coal fired power stations earlier than planned  & I'll pocket the Nobel Science Prize......., so all I now have to do is get Whistler-boy to write down what he was eating in the 48 hours before, then feed that to thousands of coal miners, and we will be ......

 

CAPPY IS ADVISED BY A MATE THAT RUNS NASA, THAT THEY HAVE SATELLITE FOOTAGE WHICH SHOWS THAT TURBO'S WHISTLER HAD A LARGER NOISE & TOXICITY SIGNATURE THAN THE HUNGA TUNGA WUNDA PLUNDA HAAPI CLAPPI RECENT ERUPTION

 

Edited January 3, 2023 by Captain

[onetrack]

....a fully gas-fired Nation! But there were rumblings amongst the coal miners (literally) when they found out they were going to be used as human gas generators, and that the pay was much worse than actually working in a Hunter Valley coal mine (although they read the contract where all the beans they could eat would be supplied for free).

 

This led to a general strike amongst the coal miners, as they agitated for early release of their.........

[Captain]

.... build up of dangerous ....

[turboplanner]

...gases. And then a scientist who had studied Greenhouse gases found that these gases were different. Not only different, but they ate up the greenhouse gases, and were responsible for creating the near-Ice Age over the northern hemisphere at the present time. The coal-miners not only had a job for life again, but they were given a bonus per litre of gas they produced.

 

It wasn't long before a Scientist working on a $3 million Grant from Turbine Basic Foods Ltd was able to prove that the best gases were coming from eating Turbine Beans, and soon grain farmers were seen spraying roundup over the Canola and planting Turbine beans. It wasn't long before an ex wheat farmer from Culgoa found a way to pipe his own gases into the John Deere, and just by eating three meals of Turbine Beans a day, generate enough gas to seed a crop.

 

Rally Drivers saw the benefit of not needing full tanks of liquid fuel but the navigator had to crack a joke if there was a blind corner followed by a hill, or ...........................

[Captain]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Rally Drivers saw the benefit of not needing full tanks of liquid fuel but the navigator had to crack a joke if there was a blind corner followed by a hill, or .......

..... even worse, where there is a loooonnnnngggg downhill off throttle section where the gas pressure would build up and the over pressure pop-off valve would .....

Edited January 3, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

......start barking continuously frightening cattle and leaving unused odours through town not seen since the days of the Ford Prefect whic....
 

[Captain]

.... h Turbs had worked on as a design during his middle age & before turning to trucks, where he gave his name to the pressurised induction system known as the .....

[turboplanner]

......flatulence corridor compressor where passengers  fitted a device not unlike a seat belt which clamped them down to the seat. The truck had a range about the same as an EV with just the driver contributing so a Hitchhiker advertising programme was developed. Soon a truckie had broken the NO FUEL record from Sydney to Perth with two passengers and four in the sleeper berth using the auxiliary FCCs that every truck carried, although there were some leaks from the Bunk FCCs due ti incorrect fitting at one stage that almost put the driver to sleep until................

[Captain]

..... after a Govt campaign and strong social media pressure, the general populace started to enjoy, nay crave, the feeling of fitting the FCCs that were installed in each vehicle ..... and some didn't even wash it.

 

"This is the social acceptance of the new energy regimes that I have been looking for" said Chris B, as he winced and inserted an FCC in a show of public support "Now if only I could get those older members of the AUF community to slip in an FCC before they fly (avref), we would have a perfect ......

Edited January 4, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

...solution to global warming, oops climate change, oops aero emission fuel like hydrogen and stuff, and we could .................

[Captain]

..... all go back to just enjoying ourselves like good little flyboys and flygirls, wishing each other Merry Christmas without feeling like a pariah, and to stop frightening little kids out of their wits.

 

we could also stop injecting politics into the nes said bull

 

"Quite right too" replied Cappy and then he .....

Edited January 4, 2023 by Captain

[Captain]

8 hours ago, Captain said:

Now if only I could get those older members of the AUF community to slip in an FCC before they fly (avref)

NOTE OF CLARIFICATION - CASA have been doing that type of insertion to AUF members for years.

Edited January 4, 2023 by Captain

[onetrack]

......promptly stated his aim to apply for the position of Minister for Natural Gases. "I'm eminently equipped for the role," Cappy proclaimed, "because I've produced so much gas over the decades, I'm a veritable one-man Gas Supply resource! It comes out of my mouth in huge volumes, as well as out of my........

[Captain]

.... rectitude.

 

"I'll second that" said Turbo (me too said bull) "As I have known what's-his-name as a best mate for many decades and I can attest that he is, indeed, rectitudinous, and I can also say with confidence that Cappy is .....

[onetrack]

....the best wrecker of titudinii I've ever seen. In fact he's wrecked so much titudinii, no-one feels secure any more - and certainly not the ladies!

 

"That's a blatant lie!", protested Cappy, in his most outraged tone of voice. "I'll have you know that many people have trusted me implicitly with their titudinii, and they've never been let down yet!".

 

Just as Turbo and Cappy were going to go head-to-head with a raging argument, they were distracted by the sound of a large gas expulsion. "I'd know that sound anywhere!", cried Cappy.

 

"It has just the right level of.......

 

 

[turboplanner]

........rolling rumble to be a very useful "catch" if only they could capture it.

Based on the texts flying around Wagga2 it had started on Kai Cook's canola property30 km south of The Rock, rolled through Plugga Cook's place west of The Rock and through Damien Cook's place, stampeding his cattle, crossed the creek and blew into Aaron Cook's, blowing his season's worth of subterranean clover seed into Archie Cooks property. Archie was the sort of person who'd quietly get a cloverseed thrasher out of the shed when it got dark, sweep up all the windfall and sell it for $230,000.00 by the next morning then moan that the whistler had only left him with sand. As it apprached Kapooka, the people could see a huge brown cloud and began to seal their windows with Turbine Whistler seal which does a complete house in ten minties and was sold in Wagga2 by Chris Cooke's Mitre10. Loxie broke out the W2FB division's Vaccum Tanker and headed for the brown cloud; this wasn't going to be an easy mission. WW2RadioCookOne broadcast warnings not to lighyt matches in the district, but silly Jack Cook.............................

[Captain]

..... who was the family clown, but was actually commercially very astute in the natural Cook family manner times about 6 (he owned a Carbon Cub & a Pilatus P6 via a Cayman corporation & flew then both on an AUF licence,  so he was no dill), realised that he could .....

[turboplanner]

....run them all on Riverina Gas.

Riverina Gas was established after the locals found there was more hot air in Wagga2 than anywhere else in Australia, combined with more flatulence.

It was in Wagga 2 that the concept of gas producers hanging on the back of cars, which used to occur in WW2 when no one could buy petrol was reintroduced. This time it was children strapped on the back. A good breakfast on baked beans and they had more range than a Tesla, and that's.......

[Captain]

..... saying something, but not really that far on a cold and foggy WW night.

 

Plus the kiddies whinged, whined and were always calling out in a pathetic weak voice "Are we there yet?", just like ......

[turboplanner]

Cappy does when he's ...........................

[Captain]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Cappy does when he's .....

..... travelling around the country giving his lectures on aviation best practice and to encourage those lesser states to contribute more meaningfully to the Commonwealth. 

 

So far Tasmania & South Australia have signed the Agreement, as authored by your Skipper, to be less mendicant. 

 

Cooky will next be using Turbo's excellent access to meet with Dan in early March when Dan gets back from his Xmas break & when Vicmanistan reopens, and for this Turbo is ..... 

Edited January 4, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....preparing meeting arrangements through the Head Office in China. 

The Chinese Government has sent back a helpful SWAT sheet on dealing with Dan because they've already found out he's a prick ly character when they belted him on roads.

 

Here's an excerpt: "When serving chiccen at a bancret, bake sur Dan get Parsen Nose" and so on.

 

Cappy felt .......

[Captain]

51 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Cappy felt ......

..... a definite affinity with Xi, as Cappy often does similar Military inspections in a big black limo with 5 microphones in front of him, and a ......

Edited January 4, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

soft cushion behind him.

This makes his Chinese minders snigger in Mandarin, and they've started to play practical jokes on him, leading to the famous ................