The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

............overjoyed and Turbo had 2.3 million followers of Twitter, some of them literate.

There were a few unhappy pilots who had ordered a head wind on finals, and the BOM had forecast two different winds, but Turbo waived one of the fees and all were happy except .................

[Captain]

15 hours ago, turboplanner said:

............overjoyed and Turbo had 2.3 million followers of Twitter, some of them literate.

There were a few unhappy pilots who had ordered a head wind on finals, and the BOM had forecast two different winds, but Turbo waived one of the fees and all were happy except .................

..... for those few blokes and blokettes who complain about everything (surprisingly some are even members of WF).

 

Given that Turbo was a natural competitor to Elon Musk (they have similar intellect and foresight), he started Twatter.

 

"Why did you call it that?" asked Cappy "Well, for some reason I was called a twat when at school and when studying at higher learning institutions for my multiple degrees (those universities have since been purchased & restructured as part of the Turbine U conglomerate after last century, Tubb wanted to compete with Alan Bond).

 

Twatter went berserk with millions of members in all countries and that started Turbo looking at a takeover of TikTok. This pitched Turbo directly against Xi (who is actually a bit of a fly-by-night wimp) and Tubb was confident that he could ......

Edited January 10, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

..........outmanouvre Xi by making a public statement that China should be very careful about making friends with Japan because Japan beat them in Manchuria, and badly need another win to save face. His statement when it came pushed Twatter into overdrive with 760 million Chines agreeing, and32 million thnking it would be fun to invade Japan. Xi asked his spies to find out the names of those who agreed. Soon......

[Captain]

14 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Soon .....

... Turbo also posted something on Twatter which sent the Chinese economy into a worse recession than is presently being caused by their housing crisis, when Turbo posted that he no longer likes Short Soup or Dim Sims.

 

When someone of Turbo's standing says something like that the world really takes notice and this immediately .....

[turboplanner]

Sent the Ding (Equivalent to New York Stock Exchange)into free fall. When they range the bell as a warningm the Ding donged with the biggest falls by Hairclip with light 4day and Happy Toilet make fratting noise falling the most followed by........

[Captain]

..... the Euro & £ plunging into the unhappy toilet.

 

This dear readers is the power of our NES compatriot, my closest mate, and our very own world influencer, Turbo.

 

However he is the type of leader who can always take on more responsibility, so after Pope Benedict & George Pell both shuffled off (respects etc) the current Pope gave Turbo a call to see if he would be willing to sort out the issues of the church ..... and then quickly added "And no, the church is not for sale .... but we can flick you a sainthood if you do a reasonable job".

 

Turbo called bull for advice and asked ".....

Edited January 11, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

"How does the Lord's Prayer go? (bull used to say "Jesus Christ" a lot when he was hand propping the Jacka and it snapped him in the fingers), but bull had forgotten.

He had to go back to the Pope and admit he wasn't too good at going to Church when he was Young. The Pope said "Humility is a blessing my son, but I need these xxxxxxx accounts sorted sorted out, and then ...............

 

Memo to George Pell, "If you get to work in the Vatican, NEVER get in the way", oops too late.

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

The Pope said "Humility is a blessing my son, but I need these xxxxxxx accounts sorted sorted out, and then .......

..... The Pope said in latin "Maria McKillop te respicere paulo similis, so it will be no wuckers to have you sainted."

 

Turbo, who has a PhD in MYOB jumped right to it, but wasn't game to eat any food that had not been taste tested by his dedicated tester, Cappy (who is a true mate & had volunteered to protect the soon to be St Turdbro [the Aussie to Italian translator was shifty so they got his name spelt wrong on the initial paperwork and it went through all wrong to the end]).

 

It was in the middle of the 1st MYOB run that Turdy discovered ........

 

TURBO LOOKS A BIT LIKE THIS BUT A LITTLE MORE FEMININE, SO THEY WILL ULTIMATELY AIRBRUSH A 5 O'CLOCK SHADOW ONTO HIM.

CAPPY IS STANDING ON TURBO'S RIGHT (IN DISGUISE) AND THE 1ROOT IS ON TURBO'S LEFT IN A TYPICAL WA "WE ARE BETTER THAN THE EASTERNERS" POSE.

Edited January 11, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....that one of the Cardinals had been transferring money from the sacramental wine budget, the biggest money flow in the Vatican, and paying off Judges, lawyers and victims in Court cases after they told him that just receiving his blessing wasn't going to be enough.

 

One of the first things Turbo tried after being appointed to the Vatican was blessing a hot little number in the coffee shop and she told the Pope and ..............

 

[Mary McKillop used to travel around the Penola district with Father Tennyson Woods with Father Woods making sure the churches were attracting more parishioners while Mary Ministered to the poor, telling them stories. They used to camp under a three hundred year old Redgum just north of Coonawarra. There was always gossip in the South East about what went on under that tree, so Turbo's Great Grandfather Joshua Turbine set up a trail camera with camo case in the tree. His book "Travels with JT" a work of fiction but rumoured to be based on fact outsold the Church's Biography of St. Mary 10 to 1]

Edited January 11, 2023 by turboplanner

[Captain]

11 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.....that one of the Cardinals had been transferring money from the sacramental wine budget, the biggest money flow in the Vatican, and paying off Judges, lawyers and victims in Court cases after they told him that just receiving his blessing wasn't going to be enough.

 

One of the first things Turbo tried after being appointed to the Vatican was blessing a hot little number in the coffee shop and she told the Pope and ..............

..... he just explained it away nonchalantly as "That is typical of Aussie AUF pilots and that is why they fly off for hundred dollar hamburgers and to chat up hot little numbers by offering to take them to the 5280 ft high club in their Jacka (although it takes 'em about an hour to get to that height & they therefore forget why they are there)" so he fully understood the AUF culture, both male & female, which he thought of as ...

 

Turbo's GG, Josh used one of the latest flash units to obtain risque photos for his book as his prose was always pretty bland (a family trait) and when the flash went "POOF" FTW just dismissed it as "Don't worry thats just Josh T and we suspect that he is one too"

 

JT GOING POOF

Edited January 11, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......something the Church should look at more closely, because these people were closer to the new mainstream society than most. For example Turbo had just embraced the new binary gingerbred, where children have to learn "run run as fast as you can, you can't catch me I'm the Gingerbred Person" Turbo noted that in the packet of gingerbread persons, some appears to be built for chestfeeding.

 

The people in the WF part of flying no longer used the old Biggles comments like "I gave her full stick but she wouldn't come around, so I had to put her down in a ditch." The Pope shuddered at those reprehensible books which he had been forced to read.

 

Instead, when CASA phoned OT to ask about an incident like the one above, OT would explain he'd been out brushcutting to clean up the airfield surrounds.

 

The Pope decided he'd start to learn this process by going up for a fly; CT drew the short straw ..............

[Captain]

44 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

..... CT drew the short straw .........

.... which had been laid as part of the mulch to disguise the site of the latest 56 vertical burials at the end of runway 15.

 

"Why have you chosen to draw that particular piece of straw?" asked the Pope who was in his civvies for this visit (he liked to wear cammo gear when relaxing) and thought that he could ..... 

 

Edited January 11, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

...not only blend in with the community, but experience life as it really is and he was quickly handed a Sako Quad and three cartons of ammunition and sent out with ..............

[Captain]

29 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

...not only blend in with the community, but experience life as it really is and he was quickly handed a Sako Quad and three cartons of ammunition and sent out with ..............

..... instructions to clean the bunnies out of CT's bottom 60 acres but not to bless or swim in the 5 rivers, which are already blessed ............ and particularly don't look under the mulch at the end of the runway.

 

He thought that the Sako was a great piece of gear, but only after the trigger gets a light hone, although he had always preferred Leupold optics (who had sponsored the recent repaint of the Sistine chapel) to the cheap scope on this Sako, however popes can't be choosers (note the use of the small "p" to retain his incognito & camoflaged presence) so he allowed an extra 25 mm over the bunny's melon and squeezed ......

Edited January 11, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

................ - the bullet went through three bunnies, with one skipping away.

"Jesus Christ!" he ejaculated, then quickly, looking up "Sorry Jesus"

The sky clouded over, the trees became an eerie olive green and a voice came down from heaven "That's OK mate, I gutted 350,00 fish in my day, then I had to gut more for the Pharises" and they laughed together.

The pope raised the Sako again but the bunny was smiling at him ........................

[Captain]

.... as that bunny was a bit of a fruitcake and had always wanted to go out as "death by pope". (See his troubled FB posts).

 

This indicated some psych issues for that leporidae, but that was .....

Edited January 11, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....not important and he bagged the bunny.

 

Meanwhile  Albo had flown to the Fox compound for a half day BBQ with Lindsay and Dan who was on his best behaviour. Sydney and Adelaide were about to get shafted and..........

[Captain]

27 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.....not important and he bagged the bunny.

 

Meanwhile  Albo had flown to the Fox compound for a half day BBQ with Lindsay and Dan who was on his best behaviour. Sydney and Adelaide were about to get shafted and..........

.... all Dan could say was "Watch the steps".

 

Foxy's insurance broker thought the same thing.

 

But Albo wasn't worried as having been a Minister under 2 numbskull PMs, he is a fearless statesman and he .......

Edited January 11, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........threw his leg out straight......and took a nosedive down the stairs. Dan sprayed him liberally with a bottle of scotch, which seemed to revive him, so they started the meeting immediately while they had his attention. As Albo sat thre on the bottom step, of the first landing, they carefully explained that with Lindsay's money and Dan's money (Dan winced slightly), and Albo contributing 10 for 1, they could build the best International Airport in the Southern Hemisphere and call it the Anthony Albanese International, if he survived. "Get me to a hospital" cried Albo, but they said "All in good time" and started going through the contracts. "Where do I sign?" said Albo as he took a quick look down the first landing stairs ..........................

[Captain]

20 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

as he took a quick look down the first landing stairs .....

..... and thought "I just flew (avref) horizontal (avref) for several second then landed (avref) with a thud (bad avref) and landed on my considerable empennage (avref)".

 

"I thought that you were about the die" said Mrs Dan to Albo in what appeared to be a well-rehearsed speech.

 

"This might be my chance to make the leap into Federal politics" thought Dan as he ...... 

[turboplanner]

......decided whether to give Albo another push, but Albo was used to Labor's "robust discussions' and tripped Dan from behind. Dan was about to get some extra scars on his face.....................

[Captain]

5 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

......decided whether to give Albo another push, but Albo was used to Labor's "robust discussions' and tripped Dan from behind. Dan was about to get some extra scars on his face.....................

.... when the Victorian general public heard what was being discussed so stepped in and stuck it to Albo in the most vicious of attacks (these attacks by the general public were akin to, if not worse than, the tactics used by VicPol ....... so they were really bad).

 

"If this means that Dan will bugger off to Canberra, then we'll do whatever it takes to Albo to ensure that .....

[turboplanner]

....Dan takes his job.

Meanwhile CT had driven the Pope down to Port Phillip Bay for a few of the local wines and a cruise round Port Phillip Bay in CT's 64 ft Cruiser.

As they passed Portsea, the Pope noticed the rotund,hirsute Lindsay and Dan on the beach belting up little Albo. "Head for the Shore" yelled the Pope, "I need to catch up with that Fox XXXXX, and we can't have them bashing up Saint Anthony!; who is that other bruiser anyway? sounds like the type Lindsay would associate with!" and the Pope started swing that big donger on the chain around his waist. "Bless me father for I have sinned" squawked Lindsay recognising the Pope. "We know that" said the Pope, but this time you've really done it!" and as he spoke a clap of thunder broke from the heavens. Linsday had never got the clap before but this time it got him good and he wailed ........

 

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

Linsday had never got the clap before but this time it got him good and he wailed .......

.... then recited the bible in Hebrew, before belting out a few books of the Koran, quoted Budda and Confucious and then the big one when he recited word for word Turbo's Chairman's address at the London meeting of Turbine Religions P/L (TRPL).

 

Lindsay had just assumed that Turbs and the pope were having a TRPL management meeting before Tubb's appointment with the Archbishop of Canterbury and Martin Luther's great great great great grandson that afternoon.

 

Lindsay was certainly impressed and said "Turdboy has come a long way since he used to change the oil in my trucks and only ever did half those that he charged for, but I never realised that he was a god botherer, so if he ......

Edited January 12, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....wants to bring that fairy in pink ashore, we can give him a chop and some lemonade, and thank you for the great work you did changing oil Turbo; without that I'd still be sitting in Roadhouses cursing fuel tax.

Lindsay was still limping from the clap, and foolishly had his back turned to the Archbishop.

Albo still semi prone on the landing and bleeding recognised the Pope and tried to shout a warning to Fox but could only get a croak out. The Pope, swinging his cross around caught Lindsay in the nuts. "Time for confession" said the pope getting a swing up again, and Lindsay rolled his eyes and said "I knew this day would come.................."