The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

16 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

........Jacinta Adern; running out of options on a mountain slope with no brakes........................

.... and that is when The Voice came back into the NES again (see Turbo's earlier posts on this contentious subject).

 

There was a clap of thunder and The Voice said, "You just HAVE to vote in favour or you are a racist, even though I cannot provide any details" and on this occasion The Voice did not have the loud booming authoritative voice that you would expect, and which had undertaken that chat with Moses, .... but rather it was the sniveling sound of Albo in his rented acubra, where he & Jacinta were "like that" and years ago at one of the Labor Youth Conferences they had even ......

Edited January 23, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

......stripped off thinking it was a Fesitival. It was covered up of course in the press, not because it was a gaffe, but the Editors all deemed it was too gruesome for children and millenials to handle.

 

That had been the end for Labor at that election. Even though nothing had bee published on TV, daio of newpapers, in those days women used to gossip on the phone most of the day, and were way ahead of Reuters when it came to scandal, and they deserted Labor. They were still smarting from what that "nice Mr Whitlam: turned into once he got their vote, Now he seemed to be masking as an Aborigine and many women thought it was time he was given a few scars, or a welcoming ceremony of burnt fingers, or .......................

[onetrack]

......the full circumcision procedure, just using the regular sharpened rock. However, it soon proved difficult to locate him, so the women turned their attention to bull, because the word had got out that he wasn't circumcised and they wanted to see if the sharp rock was suitable, and did actually work.

 

However, bull got wind of this upcoming treatment and decided it was time to hightail it, until the women found someone else who was completely unsuspecting. Accordingly, he fuelled up the Jacka, loaded up a change of clothing, pulled out his 1960 aviation charts and picked........

[Captain]

2 hours ago, onetrack said:

Accordingly, he fuelled up the Jacka, loaded up a change of clothing, pulled out his 1960 aviation charts and picked........

...... the VanDiemen'sland Transit Lane, where he followed the strobe lights past Strahan, Savage River, Stanley (he only cleared the nut by 30 ft after being on climb for 60 minutes), then across the Straight where the strobes were well spaced (and so was bull), but he flew (avref) on to glory and the .............

[bull]

3 hours ago, Captain said:

...... the VanDiemen'sland Transit Lane, where he followed the strobe lights past Strahan, Savage River, Stanley (he only cleared the nut by 30 ft after being on climb for 60 minutes), then across the Straight where the strobes were well spaced (and so was bull), but he flew (avref) on to glory and the .............

.little jackaroo just kept on humming and he soon arrived at King island to refuel, after a bouncing dodgy landing he taxied up to the bowser to find out he had...............

[Captain]

1 hour ago, bull said:

.little jackaroo just kept on humming and he soon arrived at King island to refuel, after a bouncing dodgy landing he taxied up to the bowser to find out he had...............

... fallen into the money-grubbing hands of Turbine Petroleum, Turbine Airports & Exorbitant Landing Fees Corporation, Turbine Snacks, Burgers & Milkshakes, Turbine #1s & #2s Dunnies, Turbine Immigration King Island P/L and .....

[turboplanner]

..........not wearing a Turbine ribbon.

It had been innocent enough; a little old man ws sitting in a chair next to the entrance and had murmured "Buy a ribbon?" and he'd walked straight past.

Now the TIKI officer had his passport and was looking him up and down; "You don't have a ribbon? he asked and backtraced [avref] to the old man where he saw a sign "Ribbons $50.00."

He bought a ribbon and went back to immigration where the TIKI took it off him.

Exhausted, e decided to have a snack. The sign said "Only Blue Ribbon wearers admitted", so back he went to the little old man, smiled at the TIKI man, into the cafe, and by the time bhe was lining up to take off he was $4,832.50 lighter.

He gave the backtracking for take off call, and the radio crackled with "You don't appear to be wearing a yellow riibbon, so around he came, but went a little wide and a wheel went down a Mutton Bird hole. A tractor came across and he breathed a sigh of relief; he thought he was going to be living here. The farmer got off with a handfull of ribbons.........................

[Captain]

 

[Captain]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

The farmer got off with a handfull of ribbons.........

.... which is the 1st time that bull had heard of anybody "getting off" using those. "But to each his own" thought bull, who has seen some pretty kinky stuff in his time, and he .....

Edited January 24, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........headed for the warm welcome he new he would get from all Victorians, landing in the city of Sale where he was given a civic reception before.....

 

[Captain]

14 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

........headed for the warm welcome he new he would get from all Victorians, landing in the city of Sale where he was given a civic reception before.....

 

... he was approached by 2 Vicmanistan Gov't types who wanted to discuss bull's landing & other tax status (landing fees in Dan land are now more that land taxes), monies that bull still owes to the Stand-With-Dan fund, outstanding donations to buy red T-shirts and a couple of .......

 

 

A MEETING IN THE VICMANISTAN GOVERNMENT OFFICE IN LITTLE BOURKE ST, BEFORE 2 OF THEM HEADED DOWN TO SALE TO HAVE A "CHAT" WITH bull

Edited January 24, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

1 hour ago, Captain said:

... he was approached by 2 Vicmanistan Gov't types who wanted to discuss bull's landing & other tax status (landing fees in Dan land are now more that land taxes), monies that bull still owes to the Stand-With-Dan fund, outstanding donations to buy red T-shirts and a couple of .......

 

 

A MEETING IN THE VICMANISTAN GOVERNMENT OFFICE IN LITTLE BOURKE ST, BEFORE 2 OF THEM HEADED DOWN TO SALE TO HAVE A "CHAT" WITH bull

....parking tickets from Moorabbinstan Airport which ...................

[Captain]

35 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....parking tickets from Moorabbinstan Airport which ...................

.... are normally waived because the Mextorians usually have to be paid to go anywhere near Moorabbistan, which until recently had been declared to be more dangerous than Kabul & Kiev combined, and that was only a small ..... 

Edited January 25, 2023 by Captain

[onetrack]

.......area as compared to the bigger no-go areas of Melburnistan, which were often listed on the worlds worst places to visit. However, the list had recently got bigger with the addition of certain areas of Tasmania, plus the entire region around Darraweit Guim, where, if you happened to pop your head out of any opening, you'd promptly become a bigger target for weapons than any Russian tank.

 

Nonetheless, our intrepid bull decided to push on in the Jacka to go visit CT in DG, and get in some target practice - totally unaware, that upon even just entering the airspace surrounding DG International Airport, he would become the target, and......

[Captain]

21 minutes ago, onetrack said:

Nonetheless, our intrepid bull decided to push on in the Jacka to go visit CT in DG, and get in some target practice - totally unaware, that upon even just entering the airspace surrounding DG International Airport, he would become the target, and......

..... that was just a few of CT's inebriated mates having fun (just a few DG dills plinking with 22's & an old rusty three-o, so how much harm can those little rimfires & some 1940s DOD ammo do anyway?), but what bull in his Jackoffroo had not anticipated was that there was also another of CT's Mafia body disposals going on just as bull decided to do a high speed beat-up down all 6 kms of runway 27, so as bull approached terminal velocity and the little pointy thing on the little round gaugy thing had gone around twice to be past VNe for the 2nd time, bull was feeling the ..... 

Edited January 25, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

............tearing as the small aircaft stretched way beyond what even Da Vinci every drew and his were s t r e t c h e d!

 

It happened that he was in a turn, headed in the direction of Melbourne when ....................

[bull]

57 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

............tearing as the small aircaft stretched way beyond what even Da Vinci every drew and his were s t r e t c h e d!

 

It happened that he was in a turn, headed in the direction of Melbourne when ....................

.over his shoulder he noticed an aircraft keeping in the turn with him and up front flying his heavily modified drifter smiling widely was an old friend of the NES ,,,Sir Nobu !!!!!   and after he,d  finally seen the light and parked his aging zero and encapsulated his interest in the lighter side of aviation....[avrefs galore]  he decided that Bull and CT and Turbo where having way too much fun and that he would join them.. The wingtip vortexes[avref] from Nobu.s drifter caused the little jackaroo to invert !Hmmmm thought Bull as he................ 

 

Edited January 25, 2023 by bull

[Captain]

2 hours ago, bull said:

The wingtip vortexes[avref] from Nobu.s drifter caused the little jackaroo to invert !Hmmmm thought Bull as he..........

..... applied skill, daring, muscle memory & a good dollop of luck to counteract the numerous laws of physics and fly coordinated so that ......

Edited January 25, 2023 by Captain

[onetrack]

....at the very least, his bum was steadily pointing to the sky. However, this continued - although steady - flying position, did nothing to assist in bulls normal blood flow, and it wasn't long before he was.......

[turboplanner]

......having trouble controlling the aircraft because of the spinning in his head.The inevitable caught him off guard and the aircraft was in a spin. So was bull. He saw mountains rotating in front of him. Everything started to go white; the light was glaring and bull thought he had crashed and died, but he was only over a snowfield which he hit at the terminal velocity of the Jacka. Down he went, deep into the snow where he saw the bodies of several lost skiers from last season; they never advertised it, but they lost about 150 each year and no one ever missed them. Eventially the Jacka ran out of energy, and he was able to start cutting steps up the side of the hole with his snow shovel. He ...........................

[Captain]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Eventially the Jacka ran out of energy, and he was able to start cutting steps up the side of the hole with his snow shovel. He ........

... had always been one to be 100% prepared, so a snow shovel in the luggage compartment of the Jacka just seemed logical to bull (after all, it may be needed in Tasmania in summer too).

 

As bull climbed out of the hole, snow shovel in hand, he considered what excuse he might offer to the inevitable AUF and NTSB enquiry into why he turned the Jackoff into a PistenBully, and he .....

Edited January 25, 2023 by Captain

[onetrack]

......thought long and hard about the LOC lessons he missed in pilot class, because he was distracted by the voluptuous curves of the girl sitting 2 desks away from him.

He thought about how, if he'd concentrated on the lessons, and listened more intently, he wouldn't now be shovelling snow like a New Yorker in Winter.

What was worse, he still had to recover the Jacka - and that probably meant he'd have to wait for the Spring thaw, and then come back with a metal detector and a long ........

[turboplanner]

......cold glass of VB because it would be hot work.

It was at that moment the a 4WD drove past on the snow. On the side was Turbine Extraction Co, No job to big or too small.  "We bring them home!"  bull ran faster than he'd ever run before [which we have to say was not very fast], and he caught the 4WD at the bottom of a gully (bull had fallen from the top which increased his speed somewhat, and a deal was struck for the extraction which consisted of the 4WD driving up to the hole and the operator climbing down an attaching his winch cable to the nosewheel.

The nosewheel and leg came up straight away, and bull raced over to explain the rest needed to come up in one picece; anothe deal was struck to ........................

[Captain]

6 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

The nosewheel and leg came up straight away, and bull raced over to explain the rest needed to come up in one picece; anothe deal was struck to ...........

..... do a cashy, job-and-finish, so the driver agreed not to tell Turbo and bull would also give him a few cans of VB and access to bull's 40 acres of opium poppies with 10 minutes of free picking.

 

The TEC driver .....

Edited January 26, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

..................reluctantly agreed, and picke up the shovel.

He poured perspiration as he shoveled, but calculated his immeasurable wealth and  future membership of the Millionaires Club as he shovelled on........................