The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

35 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

..................reluctantly agreed, and picke up the shovel.

He poured perspiration as he shoveled, but calculated his immeasurable wealth and  future membership of the Millionaires Club as he shovelled on........................

.... and the Jacka came into site, looking a bit like Mawson's ship in the ......

 

Ps - Crappy stuffed up his Mawson and Shackleton references, but he knows that all NESers are forgiving about such things.

 

IT LOOKED EXACTLY LIKE THIS

BUT SMALLER AND MORE PLANE-LIKE

Edited January 26, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........Sahara.

They welded the nosewheel leg back on, bull gave it full noise and he was up and away. The Turbine guy......

[Captain]

23 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

........Sahara.

They welded the nosewheel leg back on, bull gave it full noise and he was up and away. The Turbine guy......

.... then called out from the ground (he was also an employee of Turbine ATC) "Hey bull, old mate, watch out for those pyramids" but bull had always wanted to visit Egypt + the Sahara so he .....

Edited January 26, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....pressed on.

What he didn't know was that the Turbine guy was Egyptian, and now, without the riches he expected he called down the Curse of the Pharaos on bull.

 

As he flew past the step pryamid at Saqqara, a bolt of lightning shot out and took off the tip of one wing.

 

"No probs" he thought, I'll just throw in a little left stick.

 

A much bigger bolt of lightning shot out and took off a quarter of the other wing but before he could adjust aileron a golden bull came flying up from the Bent Pyramid, snorting fire and ....................

 

[bull]

22 hours ago, Captain said:

.... and the Jacka came into site, looking a bit like Mawson's ship in the ......

 

Ps - Crappy stuffed up his Mawson and Shackleton references, but he knows that all NESers are forgiving about such things.

 

IT LOOKED EXACTLY LIKE THIS

BUT SMALLER AND MORE PLANE-LIKE

Ps - Crappy stuffed up his Mawson and Shackleton references, but he knows that all NESers are forgiving about such things. And also conveniently forgot that the jackaroo was a tail dragger  so the aircraft that turbine extractions had found was not the jackaroo of the famous Bull from the NES but a long lost flying mount of......................

Edited January 27, 2023 by bull

[bull]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....pressed on.

What he didn't know was that the Turbine guy was Egyptian, and now, without the riches he expected he called down the Curse of the Pharaos on bull.

 

As he flew past the step pryamid at Saqqara, a bolt of lightning shot out and took off the tip of one wing.

 

"No probs" he thought, I'll just throw in a little left stick.

 

A much bigger bolt of lightning shot out and took off a quarter of the other wing but before he could adjust aileron a golden bull came flying up from the Bent Pyramid, snorting fire and ....................

 

.brimstone ,[What is brimstone??asking for a friend] now this unsettled the unsettable bull and he..............

[turboplanner]

........changed direction a little towards Sneferu's Red Pyramid where he decided to land in the long clear space in front of the Pyramid. He decided to land there and have lunch at "Snef's" which sold organic Arab Food. As he rolled to a stop in front of the pyramid an Arab walked out and introduced himself "Good morning good sir, I am being Ahab" he said "and I am also being your host for the day; Allah is only asking $100 landing fee, and mu goodness me that's chip. With resignation, bull asked "How much are the burgers at Snef's" and Ahab replies "Ok my goodness gracious me, Camel burgers now only one dollar" bull started taking a liking to Ahab the Arab, and .............................

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGHppK6PQJ4

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ippnMH2WwE

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YCwellRgo0w&t=374s

( note the million dollar smile on the guitarist in the band, playing with THE Dwayne Eddy)

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BP_neBGKVU4

 

Edited January 27, 2023 by turboplanner

[Captain]

6 hours ago, bull said:

Ps - Crappy stuffed up his Mawson and Shackleton references, but he knows that all NESers are forgiving about such things. And also conveniently forgot that the jackaroo was a tail dragger  so the aircraft that turbine extractions had found was not the jackaroo of the famous Bull from the NES but a long lost flying mount of......................

.... some other unlicensed AUF flyer. This was a clever ploy, as by saying he was unlicensed meant that it could have been one of hundreds and those AUF members all look the same.

 

As much as Crappy respects & admires his friend bull, he needs to point out that it was not Crappy that doesn't know his nose wheels from his empennage mounted little wheels ........... it was the great Turbo, who Crappy respects and admires even more than the aforementioned.

Edited January 27, 2023 by Captain

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

"Ok my goodness gracious me, Camel burgers now only one dollar" bull started taking a liking to Ahab the Arab, and .........

..... bull bought 2 dozen burgers with the lot (he could identify the bits that were camel-ish but he didn't have a clue what all the other stuff was).

 

Then bull explained his purchase "At Risdon airport, burgers in the cafe are about $25 and that's just for bog common wagyu beef, not this exotic stuff, so I am saving $24 per burger, which is a bargain, and by buying 2 dozen I have saved myself $576, which is almost enough fuel to get me home."

 

Onetrack thought this was a great idea, so took an Emirates flight to Cairo and ..........

Edited January 27, 2023 by Captain

[onetrack]

.....set about making a takeover offer to Ahab for the camel-burger business. It would make a great global franchise, OT thought to himself, with enormous opportunities in Australia, thanks to the 3,000,000 local wild camels for a cheap and continuous meat, hoof and skin supply. He even thought of the great sales line - "The burger with a bigger kick!"

 

However, no sooner had OT landed in Cairo and organised to take a decrepit Cairo taxi to see Ahab - than he learned that Turbine Camel Burgers had gazumped him, and had already signed Ahab up - lock, stock and barrel.

However, there was one small fly in the ointment. Turbo wanted certified accounting records, so he knew exactly what he was buying - and Ahab had never even heard of them - let alone organised to keep them. He had to move fast, before Turbo found out, that what he was buying, was just a..........

[turboplanner]

.......marketing ploy to take the real money for parking at the Pyramid, so no Pyramid, no Money.

OT cleverly told Turbo that Ahab's deal was a scam, so Turbo flew OT to Cairo in the Challenger and hires a Tata Limo to drive out to the pyramid. Ahab rushed towards them as they arrived and started the bellowing in Arabic (See Ray Stevens version a few posts back).

Turbo caught Ahab in mid-bellow with a chop to the throat, grabbed him by the nuts, and asked him to explain the Burger operation in fine detail NOW, or lose them.

Ahab admitted it didn't make much money and probably didn't justify the $35 million asking price, and so let Turbo out of the deal.

While Turbo went to the bathroom, OT signed a $35 million deal for the Burger business and the pyramid after asking Ahab what it was worth. "It's only a heap of old stone" Ahab had replied, a phrase quickly messaged around the world by Millenials and Zs which would be used for a hundred years.

What OT had seen was that the money was in owning the pyramid; whoever owned the pyramid owned the parking. 

He leveraged the new income by buying an ED and offering scenic flights around the pyramid, and ............ 

[Captain]

11 hours ago, onetrack said:

However, there was one small fly in the ointment

and some bigger ones in some of the burgers too. Just say'n.

 

Ref ..... the 2022 report of the Egyptian Health Inspectorate.

Edited January 27, 2023 by Captain

[Captain]

6 hours ago, turboplanner said:

He leveraged the new income by buying an ED and offering scenic flights around the pyramid, and .........

...... which he also used to aerial shoot every camel within 150 kms of the pyramid as part of his MacOnesie's Camel Burger Co (the MCBC), which he had started on the QT to take on the TCB conglomerate..

 

However, the bulk shooting of camels hadn't been fully thought through. as everyone but OT was aware of a shortage of cold storage in Luxor.

 

"I'll just hire a few dozen mobile chiller units from Cairo, Yemen and Ethiopia" replied OT.

 

"What is this "refrigeration" of which you speak?" asked Ahab and OT immediately evacuated his ......

Edited January 27, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........bowells. He realised that in the US Turbo’s CATburgers (which the customers all thought were named after Caterpillar dozers, about the only thing manly to look up to in the US) were distributed by 3500 H.L. Hunt Kenworths pulling refrigerated vans.

OT ordered 100, then ....

 

[Captain]

10 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

........bowells. He realised that in the US Turbo’s CATburgers (which the customers all thought were named after Caterpillar dozers, about the only thing manly to look up to in the US) were distributed by 3500 H.L. Hunt Kenworths pulling refrigerated vans.

OT ordered 100, then ....

 

.... realized that the sea freight for those rigs from the US would cost him more that the pyramid, and while Onesie is a commercially realistic and resourceful chap, this did set him back for a few minutes, before he .....

 

10 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

US Turbo’s CATburgers (which the customers all thought were named after Caterpillar dozers,

 The confusion of these customers is well founded because Turbo had every component, including the tiny little lettuce strips and the single drop of cat poo relish, stamped with the below logo.

Edited January 27, 2023 by Captain

[onetrack]

....rapidly realised, all he had to do was link the Cat logo to his Camel Burgers, and 380,000,000 Americans would be on side. He had to find the acronym, and within a few minutes brainstorming, OT had the CAT Burgers theme worked out. The Camel Burger Food Vans would be marked with the CAT logo, and it would stand for "Camel All Through", thus eliminating any doubt in customers minds that the burgers contained anything else but Camel.

 

In his minds eye, OT could see the TV advertising patter rolling off the screens - "Yessir! Nothing but pure CAMEL! No additives, no horse, no dog, no deer, no possum - just PURE Camel!"

However, there was just one slight lingering concern. The CAT word would bring up the question of Cat meat content.

 

This was a matter of some concern, because OT was ready to fall back on Turbo's Cat meat supplies, if the camel supplies couldn't keep up - but he didn't want customers to know that.

There had to be a way to unlink CAT and Cat in the customers minds. This wasn't going to be an easy one - until suddenly, OT had another brainstorm. He'd simply......

[Captain]

1 hour ago, onetrack said:

his wasn't going to be an easy one - until suddenly, OT had another brainstorm. He'd simply......

.... hide the issue in plain sight and provide increased value for his customers at the same time.

 

OT would stuff the camels chockablock with cats prior to cooking, which would provide an interesting combination of texture, colour and taste, plus the even more brilliant part of this plan is that OT decided to call them .....

 

Onesie's 1st thought was to call Crappy for advice, who suggest that he name then "Catel"  burgers, but OT thought that may have become confused with "Cattle" ..... however, Cappy quickly added "Who cares if the punters get confused as it's all about the money. We are not trying to win the Nobel Prize for concise honesty".

Edited January 28, 2023 by Captain

[Captain]

Crappy also suggested to call his burgers جمل مليء بالقطط but OT thought that was too obvious.

[turboplanner]

Besides, if you called them that, you would have to provide a post-meal hand sterilisation and odorising pack which would double the cost of the burger. Remember Henry Kissinger; KISS

Ot came up with the name "OneBite", and ..............

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Ot came up with the name "OneBite", and ........

..... everyone knew that he was on a winner, so certain to be favored to win the much-coveted top gong Turbine Promotional Award as sponsored by Turbine Marketing & Truth Stretching Corporation. 

 

The "OneBite" name is particularly attractive and alluring when you see it on a sign in arabic "ون بايت" so who could resist going into that store ..... and even more-so in hebrew "ביס אחד", so there is the opportunity for cost saving cross border promotion, for OT to solve the Palestinian/Israeli standoff and for world peace to be achieved (although there may still be a need to nuke the Iranian bomb factories .... or send them a truckload of manky unrefrigerated burgers which would have the same outcome), all just because of Ahab's Luxor-belly camel hamburgers, OT's wonderful foresight and ........ 

Edited January 28, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......Turbine’s “Living The Dream” promotion.

However the ED business was failing;  no one wanted an electric Drifter. 
“I like Blueheads” said CT; “they’re not really aircraft” said Lemonface who had been building a savannah kit for 12 years, “......

[Captain]

10 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......Turbine’s “Living The Dream” promotion.

However the ED business was failing;  no one wanted an electric Drifter. 
“I like Blueheads” said CT; “they’re not really aircraft” said Lemonface who had been building a savannah kit for 12 years, “......

....... I am a perfectionist" he said "And as my mantra I have always used the well-known Leonardo DV aircraft construction saying "Measure 10 times and cut just once after thinking about it overnight or across the weekend".

 

i do the same thing said bull when i ............

Edited January 28, 2023 by Captain

[onetrack]

......do anything that involves sharp tools and measuring devices. but sometimes, i still manage to get things wrong, and that's why my jacka has that bit tacked on to the port wing, the bloody tape must have slipped when i measured the spar, and bugger me if i didn't end up with 2 spars that were different lengths!  anyway, no-ones gunna notice that bit, its too far away for them to see when sitting in the cabin and no-one ever looks up close at the wing when theyre on the ground, theyre just happy to be back on the ground!  and besides ........

[Captain]

9 minutes ago, onetrack said:

anyway, no-ones gunna notice that bit, its too far away for them to see when sitting in the cabin and no-one ever looks up close at the wing when theyre on the ground, theyre just happy to be back on the ground!  and besides .......

.... I don't ever have any issues, but my mates keep donging their scones on the longer wing, whereas I think that is funny.

 

And anyway, I enjoy flying (avref) round (avref) in circles (Pythagorasref) and all of the jackoffs have been made that way ever since 1962, when .....

Edited January 29, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....the original JO Leading Hand used some of the Datum Rule to light a fire on a particularly cold day. The CASA people moved in issuing an Order to make another stick but the RF Social Media industry went berserk, the gener theme being "How dare those idiots interfere with us who build and maintain [wish upon a star ref] our own planes" CASA backed down and .................