The Never Ending Story

[onetrack]

.....six blokes hit the deck, then the first one raised his hand, and motioned to the others to crawl left to find the source of the.............

 

(sorry, Men ..... I was back in the J again......................)

[Captain]

31 minutes ago, onetrack said:

.....six blokes hit the deck, then the first one raised his hand, and motioned to the others to crawl left to find the source of the.........

..... crossfire, which was coming from the Vietnamese restaurant in Mangimupinupup, whi had a tunnel that ......

Edited February 10, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.........Connected with Tran’s Fresh Meat Wholesalers. A  few metres up was a tunnel connecting to the Golden Rainbow All You Can Eat For $1 Porn Clackers exta!

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.........Connected with Tran’s Fresh Meat Wholesalers. A  few metres up was a tunnel connecting to the Golden Rainbow All You Can Eat For $1 Porn Clackers exta!

Note, dear NESers that there are no .....s once again. But never mind, Crappy will save the day.

 

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

For $1 Porn Clackers

And this reminded bull of his bittersweet time working in the porn clacker business, where he was prized for his photographic clacker and where he had been compromised by ......

Edited February 11, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......too much dough which muffled the clackers................

[Captain]

8 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......too much dough which muffled the clackers................

.... and was also difficult to get off and get out, after that dough had been kneaded into the shape of a ......

Edited February 11, 2023 by Captain

[bull]

6 hours ago, Captain said:

.... and was also difficult to get off and get out, after that dough had been kneaded into the shape of a ......

..very large round solid..............

[turboplanner]

.......about the size of a...........

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

.......about the size of a...........

..... medium sized grapefruit, that ......

[bull]

5 hours ago, Captain said:

..... medium sized grapefruit, that ......

Was then inserted into Turbo,s re.......................

[Captain]

44 minutes ago, bull said:

Was then inserted into Turbo,s re.......................

... active ....

[onetrack]

......canned pineapple juicer, which Turbo had recently patented. Turbo was on a roll with his new design of juicer, which he invented the minute he heard about all the pineapple crop fruiting simultaneously, leading to a massive pineapple glut.

He knew that canned pineapple juice was a great product, could be stored for a long period of time, was a popular addition to many cocktails, and the market could be expanded substantially with a bit of promotion.

Plus, there was the profitability factor, one factor that always led Turbo into new ventures. The profits in pineapplejuicing were huge (particularly when Turbo offered to take away all the surplus pineapples for free), so all Turbo needed to concentrate on, was..........

[Captain]

9 hours ago, onetrack said:

so all Turbo needed to concentrate on, was........

.... how to concentrate the .....

 

Turbs is more used to consecrating rather than concentrating as each time a new archbishop is appointed in any of the umpteen religions that are active in OZ, they call Tubb for his final approval. (He also does instant marriages in his kitsch Las Vegas style drive thru chapel just off the main street in Moorabbin). 

 

THIS IS WHERE TURBO DREW HIS INSPIRATION FROM, FOR THE MOORABBIN CHAPEL

EXCEPT HE USED A CARDBOARD CUTOUT OF HIMSELF INSTEAD OF ELVIS & ONESIE INSTEAD OF LIBERACE.

Edited February 12, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.........marketing on the distinctly different "Generations".

Turbo found The Greatest Generation the most difficult to maket to, and of course Generation X couldn't spell their own names let alone their Generation, and Gen Alpha tended to be whizzes on coding and prone to statements like "What was it like in the REALLY olden days like 1996", so he drew on the Vegas "Wedding Chapel" concept where the chapels were all down in the old section of the strip where the tourists didn't dare to go unless in groups of two or more. However, you could phone Liberace, Elvis, or Wayne Newton and they'd come and pick you up, take you to the Chapel, and drop you back at the thousand bed Circus Circus Hotel and Casino.

Turbo's research showed that most people got married except the Millenials, so he focused  his marketing programme on most people drinking pineapple juice and left the fruit for the Millenials.

Soon everyone was consuming pineapples, and those who didn't soon got to know the convoy of black Pineapple Chevy Suburbans where men in black would grabe you when you were watering your font garden, (which for millenials usually meant relieving themselves on a four square metre artificial grass strip), and take you to "The Pineapple Factory where they would ....................

 

 

 

 

 

Helpful Table

The Greatest Generation                    b. 1901-1924

The Silent Generation                         b. 1925-1945

The Baby Boomer Generation            b.1046-1964

Generation X                                       b.1965-1979   

Millenials                                             b. 1980-1994  

Generation Z                                       b.1995-2012

Gen Alpha                                           b.2013-2025

[Captain]

8 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Soon everyone was consuming pineapples, and those who didn't soon got to know the convoy of black Pineapple Chevy Suburbans where men in black would grabe you when you were watering your font garden, (which for millenials usually meant relieving themselves on a four square metre artificial grass strip), and take you to "The Pineapple Factory where they would ....................

.... bend you over and then ....

[onetrack]

.....do a cavity search for weapons and drugs - because these MIB were from the TSA, and you don't want to get on the wrong side of a TSA operative, they make CASA operatives look like pussycats.

 

Speaking of pussycats, Turbo's mind was whirling again as he tried to figure out how to join the lines between his Cat Farms and the huge surplus of pineapples. There had to be a way to utilise all that surplus pineapple juice, and feeding it to the cats was looking like a good idea.

However, the last time Turbo tried feeding a cat some pineapple juice, he got scratched from face to feet, so it was going to really take some innovative thinking to.......

 

Edited February 13, 2023 by onetrack

[Captain]

1 hour ago, onetrack said:

.....do a cavity search for weapons and drugs - because these MIB were from the TSA, and you don't want to get on the wrong side of a TSA operative, they make CASA operatives look like pussycats.

So Turbo put the TSA on the top of his list, to sell them a couple of thousand cats so that their operatives can look more pussy-like.

 

1 hour ago, onetrack said:

he got scratched from face to feet, so it was going to really take some innovative thinking to.......

.... protect his face & feet again, along with all of the bits in between, which were not in the best of condition and certainly need protection (or at minimum, an iodine-soaked medical dressing) ........ although last time that he tried to feed the cats pineapple juice, the cats got to Turbo's mid-section and walked away with their tails in the air, just like they do when not provided with their exact right wet or dry pussy food, so Turbo was confident that his ......

 

Edited February 13, 2023 by Captain

[bull]

6 hours ago, Captain said:

So Turbo put the TSA on the top of his list, to sell them a couple of thousand cats so that their operatives can look more pussy-like.

 

.... protect his face & feet again, along with all of the bits in between, which were not in the best of condition and certainly need protection (or at minimum, an iodine-soaked medical dressing) ........ although last time that he tried to feed the cats pineapple juice, the cats got to Turbo's mid-section and walked away with their tails in the air, just like they do when not provided with their exact right wet or dry pussy food, so Turbo was confident that his ......

 

..business would expand,,but suddenly he was called  up to face congress about the grapefruit scam he had been running and calling the juice "pineapple juice",,,,,the leftist media went crazy using this story to cover up the biden laptop story [which had also just broken out] Apon his hearing ,Turbo was questioned by AOC who...................

[turboplanner]

............challenged them to find a single grapefruit tree among any of his pineapple plantations anywhere around the world. "I'm not on trial here; you are!" he said, and they were convinced because thy all had their little secrets such as.......... 

[Captain]

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

............challenged them to find a single grapefruit tree among any of his pineapple plantations anywhere around the world. "I'm not on trial here; you are!" he said, and they were convinced because thy all had their little secrets such as.......... 

..... the great Kiwi-Fruit Scam (KFS) where Turbo's 100% Aussie owned Te-Fungere Maori Controlled Corporation (the TFMCC) had used AOC & Ilhan Omar as the faces of their promotions in ...........

 

 

ALL TURBO DID WAS PHOTOSHOP A KIWIFRUIT IN FRONT OF EACH OF THE GOBS IN THE BELOW PICTURE & KIWIFRUIT SALES WENT THROUGH THE ROOF, WITH SUXTY THOUSAND BOXES SOLD IN THE 1ST DAY, AND TURBO NEEDING TO THUN PRAACTICE HUS NEW ZULAND AACCENT.

Edited February 13, 2023 by Captain

[onetrack]

......those countries where ruthless dictators still mostly ruled. However, in those countries, once the dictator was paid off, it was perfectly acceptable for the KFS to proceed unimpeded, as most of the populations of those countries wouldn't have known the difference between a Kiwifruit, a Grapefruit, or a Pineapple, even if one was shoved........

[Captain]

5 hours ago, onetrack said:

......those countries where ruthless dictators still mostly ruled. However, in those countries, once the dictator was paid off, it was perfectly acceptable for the KFS to proceed unimpeded, as most of the populations of those countries wouldn't have known the difference between a Kiwifruit, a Grapefruit, or a Pineapple, even if one was shoved........

Cappy admires & respects everything about 1Root and normally believes all that he writes, however Cappy tried it and can now report that there is an enormous difference between a Kiwifruit, a Grapefruit & a Pineapple when shoved ......

[turboplanner]

........into a Number 3 ACME Juicer.

This of course just represented another challenger to the inventive minds of the ......................

[Captain]

7 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

........into a Number 3 ACME Juicer.

This of course just represented another challenger to the inventive minds of the ......................

..... TurgidPlonker's management team, and when I use the word "Team" I am actually referring to .....

[Captain]

 

WF POLL - I know that all NESers, and even those thousands of slack Wreck Flying (avref) lurkers, are highly educated folks who always would wish & insist, to be linguistically accurate ..... so perhaps you might all like to contribute, as when I use the word "Turgid" as part of the name of my best friend and long-term aviation + trusted closest mate Turbo, which of the following dictionary definitions of Turgid is the most appropriate?

 

Turgid - Swollen and distended or congested.

 

Or

 

Turgid - Tediously pompous or bombastic.

 

Or

 

Turgid - Just our same loveable & loyal mate, Turbo.

Edited February 14, 2023 by Captain