The Never Ending Story

[bull]

7 hours ago, Captain said:

.... Rachel, as I have always wanted a rugged Aussie Flyboy (avref), and here is my chance to experience the wonderous Cappy and his .......

 

And here is Rachel wearing the very Smok that Turbo has mentioned in his post.

And it wasn't the smok that started to rise .............. just say'n.

[Yep ,definitely no "smoke" here Cappy [but it is getting "hotter" for some reason................]                            ...........experience the wonderous Cappy and his .......even more wonderous flying machine [avref] and soar [glref] like the.............

Edited March 5, 2023 by bull

[Captain]

1 hour ago, bull said:

...even more wonderous flying machine [avref] and soar [glref] like the........

..... latest model JackOff (43:1 Glide Ratio) as he takes me to heaven and beyond.

 

When he read this, Turbo became .....

Edited March 5, 2023 by Captain

[CT9000]

48 minutes ago, Captain said:

..... latest model JackOff (43:1 Glide Ratio) as he takes me to heaven and beyond.

 

When he read this, Turbo became .....

Small edit here Captain. The glide ratio is more like 4 point 3 to 1. and that's only in a thermal on a bloody hot day.

[Captain]

26 minutes ago, CT9000 said:

Small edit here Captain. The glide ratio is more like point 43 to 1. and that's only in a thermal on a bloody hot day.

This single above post by the CT just proves what a dead-set CT he can be, as Wreck Flying erupted with filthy posts from JackOff owners correcting this slur.

[CT9000]

5 minutes ago, Captain said:

This single above post by the CT just proves what a dead-set CT he can be, as Wreck Flying erupted with filthy posts from JackOff owners correcting this slur.

Just to clarify for all those offended Jackoff owners. The new and improved super upmarket refined model Jackoff is modeled on a thruster T300 

which has a glide ratio of i:1 on a hot day (above 60 deg c) when above bitumen if black. If conditions change the glide range will decrease.

Now the new super you beaut Jackoff can better this due to the addition of the optional winglets.

[onetrack]

And at that point - CT's contribution ensured the NES ground to a halt - with a full stop - just like a B747 pulling up to the jetbridge, and the Captain applying the handbrake.

The NES readers were appalled. Was this it? Was the NES all over? - had it really ended forever, simply because an aerial rabbit pot-shotter from the backblocks of Darraweit Guim had decided he was going to end it all, right there? - with a glaring, FULL STOP!

The NES erupted into an uproar. The scenes were incredible as NES'ers all fought and argued over how to restart the NES, now that some low-life had stalled it. It was enough to.......

 

Edited March 5, 2023 by onetrack

[CT9000]

2 minutes ago, onetrack said:

And at that point - CT's contribution ensured the NES ground to a halt - with a full stop - just like a B747 pulling up to the jetbridge, and the Captain applying the handbrake.

The NES readers were appalled. Was this it? Was the NES all over? - had it really ended forever, simply because an aerial rabbit pot-shotter from the backblocks of Darraweit Guim had decided he was going to end it all, right there? - with a glaring, FULL STOP!

The NES erupted into an uproar. The scenes were incredible as NES'ers all fought and argued over how to restart the NES, now that some low-life had stalled it. It was enough to.......

 

......make every person vewing the famed NES that the stall speed may not be as listed in the POH.....

[Captain]

13 hours ago, CT9000 said:

......make every person viewing the famed NES (avref) that the stall (avref) speed may not be as listed in the POH (avref) .....

...... and the incredible scenes reported 2 posts ago by OneRoute resulted in statues of CT (and what a CT he is) being pulled down by BlackJackoffsMatter, ANTIWFA, the Rag&Tube Patriots, and the ThrusterMilitia ..... plus everyone else that generally just dislikes CT (quite a few in number as it turns out, including a big very vocal group from DG [plus a couple of Directors of Flight Design too]).

 

"And don't think that adding all of those avrefs into your quote is going to save you either" added Turbo in an attempt to stir the pot, as he saw his opportunity to ......

Edited March 5, 2023 by Captain

[bull]

On 06/03/2023 at 10:35 AM, Captain said:

...... and the incredible scenes reported 2 posts ago by OneRoute resulted in statues of CT (and what a CT he is) being pulled down by BlackJackoffsMatter, ANTIWFA, the Rag&Tube Patriots, and the ThrusterMilitia ..... plus everyone else that generally just dislikes CT (quite a few in number as it turns out, including a big very vocal group from DG [plus a couple of Directors of Flight Design too]).

 

"And don't think that adding all of those avrefs into your quote is going to save you either" added Turbo in an attempt to stir the pot, as he saw his opportunity to ......

.......win favour with EEEaaannnnn, always has been a bit of a boot licker old Turbo said Mavis,why i remember the time he............

Edited March 8, 2023 by bull

[Captain]

18 minutes ago, bull said:

.......win favour with EEEaaannnnn, always has been a bit of a boot licker old Turbo said Mavis,why i remember the time he............

..... proved, well & truly, that he was a good licker, and that is why so many of .......

 

Crappy thanks bull for his insightful response, as with the NES being silent for as long as it has been, Crappy was moving to join the SAAA for his hit of humour.

Edited March 8, 2023 by Captain

[onetrack]

.....Turbos licking efforts had dried out his formerly very wet tongue. Turbo had tried to get in on the Govt EV subsidy handouts, by claiming he'd designed and built a substantially improved Electric Hydrogen Jackaroo, which saw Turbo sucking up to every Govt Dept he could find, that was pushing its Clean and Green Credentials, and which Depts had huge sums of money to throw around at anything even remotely Green.

 

Turbo found out about the massive subsidies available for anyone who could produce an emissions-free aircraft, and especially one incorporating Hydrogen into its power unit or units.

As we all know, pure Hydrogen Power is the dream of all the Climate Changers, as it produces nothing but water as emissions.

 

"My newly-designed Electric Hydrogen Jackaroo is so clean, it feels like it's raining, when it flies over you!", said Turbo, as he addressed a large group of Dept Heads who were deciding on whether Turbine Inc was deserving of a subsidy.

"But where is your source of Hydrogen coming from?", inquired one particularly nosey Govt Head - a question that annoyed Turbo no end, as he didn't like nosey questions - or in fact, any questions at all, because he knew that.........

 

Edited March 8, 2023 by onetrack

[Captain]

1 hour ago, onetrack said:

"But where is your source of Hydrogen coming from?", inquired one particularly nosey Govt Head - a question that annoyed Turbo no end, as he didn't like nosey questions - or in fact, any questions at all, because he knew that.........

.... the Twigster (sorry ... Dr Twigster) had knocked him back as his Green Hydrogen Supplier, so he was sourcing it as Red Hydrogen from a plant in Wuhan, manned by Uighur Hydrogenation Experts (UHEs) and exporting this branded as Turbo Fuel (TF ... where Turbo receives a personal royalty [Clive P-like]) via ......

[turboplanner]

...........a small credit card capture for each litre produced.

TF fuel was marketed like mobile phones where the Online advertising was the same no matter what button on the Ad was pressed. Press "Price" and an infotainment message of 15 minutes plays and outlines the vast empire of Turbine Holdings around the world, livestock 37 million, land 50,000 square kilometres, and the need to avoid any CO2 emissions which led to TF fuel. Hit the "Specifications" you get the same message, hit the "Facilities", you get the same messages.

The online keylocker showed that one customer stayed on line for two hours before he finally clicked "BUY" for 27 litres of TF fuel for his Hyundai HGetz, and then ............... 

[Captain]

57 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

...........a small credit card capture for each litre produced.

TF fuel was marketed like mobile phones where the Online advertising was the same no matter what button on the Ad was pressed. Press "Price" and an infotainment message of 15 minutes plays and outlines the vast empire of Turbine Holdings around the world, livestock 37 million, land 50,000 square kilometres, and the need to avoid any CO2 emissions which led to TF fuel. Hit the "Specifications" you get the same message, hit the "Facilities", you get the same messages.

The online keylocker showed that one customer stayed on line for two hours before he finally clicked "BUY" for 27 litres of TF fuel for his Hyundai HGetz, and then ............... 

......... if the customer clicked on "Contact Us" they received a saucy picture of Turbo wearing a Flight Suit and a suspender belt (Turbine Marketing insisted that he cater for the 0.00000013% of the population who are ACaDACa, who are non-binary or who just like to dress up in lady's undies (NTTIAWWT)) ..... and in a very clever twist, the photo then changed to a he/him, them/they, she/her, it/is, cat/dog, fish/mammal, bird/flyingfox, snail/slug video which ....... 

Edited March 9, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

...........was then blasted by the Black Sovereign Aboriginal Corporation (Reg in Haiti) which pointed out that there were no possum skins showing, they being the National Dress of the Torres Strait Mertians.

It go to Turbo on a bad day, and he turned the digital marketing off and made them all send the $5.37 through the post and cars ran out of fuel, workers in high rises froze and generally people learned a good lesson about coming up with ridiculous hurdles to doing business, and flocked to Turbine Holdings in a massive show of support which sent Australia post into profit and paid or half the new Submarine fleet.

Australia was a better place, and in future.......................

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

Australia was a better place, and in future......

...... Turbine Drag Shops will make a motza from his .....

[bull]

14 hours ago, Captain said:

...... Turbine Drag Shops will make a motza from his .....

..............lotza shit,,,, and the hotza could outdo the fonza in the zotza game ah turbo? Now all this confused the shit out of Cappy who.......................

[Captain]

8 hours ago, bull said:

..............lotza shit,,,, and the hotza could outdo the fonza in the zotza game ah turbo? Now all this confused the shit out of Cappy who.......................

...... thought that Turbine Drag Shops sold superchargers and big fat wheels, not thongs for big fat blokes, however Turbo explained that ......

[turboplanner]

.....he had a permit and ...................

[Captain]

31 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.....he had a permit and ...................

.... is therefore offering both types of drag products, but specialising in monogrammed thongs that are guaranteed to have been worn by the great man himself, as evidenced by a signed photo and a Turbo skidmark ...... 

[onetrack]

....which was the result of a botched landing in the Electric-Hydrogen Drifter. However, the EH Drifter escaped undamaged, such is its robust construction - it was only Turbo's underwear that suffered when the EH Drifter ran off the runway. 

Regardless, little episodes such as this haven't deterred our fiesty inventor, entrepeneur, and noted womaniser. He went on to meet with the Twigster over a major Hydrogen fuel deal, which deal also included hydrogen heating of the cat farms - as we all know, cats hate the cold, and they're most content and productive when warm, and snuggled up to..........

[bull]

10 hours ago, onetrack said:

....which was the result of a botched landing in the Electric-Hydrogen Drifter. However, the EH Drifter escaped undamaged, such is its robust construction - it was only Turbo's underwear that suffered when the EH Drifter ran off the runway. 

Regardless, little episodes such as this haven't deterred our fiesty inventor, entrepeneur, and noted womaniser. He went on to meet with the Twigster over a major Hydrogen fuel deal, which deal also included hydrogen heating of the cat farms - as we all know, cats hate the cold, and they're most content and productive when warm, and snuggled up to..........

..a warm rotax,,,but this could lead to problems for some cats like this one ,

     Now Cappy was soon to be seen...........................

[Captain]

23 hours ago, bull said:

 Now Cappy was soon to be seen............

....... to be the lovable cat fancier that he truly is, as Cappy had discovered the joys of the cat when he was about 16 and he had been fascinated by them ever since.

 

"I have always loved playing with them" Cappy said in an interview with .....

[turboplanner]

..........CatNN which had taken over the major broadcasting task after a survey which showed the average American only has the day to day skills of a cat. Tom Cat was the main personality sitting at the desk with the curvaceous Alley Cat who was a Tabby. Pussy Galore did the weather, and you never knew what was going to happen there, Fat Cat was the Food Guide person. Black Cat represented the disadvantaged and often had heated debates with CopyCat who was always lock Stray Cats up. Cat Steven was brought back to do the Entertainment reports, and Cat of Nine Tails told childrens stories about ...............

 

[Captain]

.... Catasrophic events, which ......

 

PS - For the avoidance of doubt, Cappy advises that he is particularly partial to blonde short-haired cats.