The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

On 27/03/2023 at 4:35 PM, turboplanner said:

........shoes.

Since everyone has different size shoes it produced a different result for every pilot.

For example with Turbo's shoes, the 95th percentile male shoe size, the aircraft would fly in a stable condition. With Cappy's wide but short shoes, it would fly to the right. With One Track's shoes it would fly severely left and with Planey's shoes it finished up in the pond in the pig pen where ..............

NOW HOLD ON THERE TURDY ..... What about bull? He only had a little bit of an attention seeking "turn" and you can't/shouldn't have/how did you know before the obituary (cross out those that do not apply) write him out of the NES just yet. This is a lesson for all NESers not to give TinlyWink too much info or he will have you 6 feet under and out of the story in no-time.

 

Crappy on the other hand, just for the nobody-that-cares (the NTC), is in New York preparing for his F22 training (Crappy thinks the F22 is better than the 35) and he should be combat ready about Easter (Crappy is a fast learner (a FL  ....... at FL65).

[Captain]

On 27/03/2023 at 4:35 PM, turboplanner said:

With One Track's shoes it would fly severely left and with Planey's shoes it finished up in the pond in the pig pen where ..........

......... about 20 pigs (and 2 probationary cuntstables) were getting ready to .........

[onetrack]

......go for a swim in the pond. However, when they were told that the pigs had previously swum in it, a new swimming location was promptly sought. This led to the pigs finding out that the pilots had a swimming pool, which was also used by the air hostesses (sorry, stewardesses) - and they all knew that the girls were fun to swim with.

 

However, when the pigs rolled up to the pilots swimming pool, there was some consternation, as Security demanded that the pigs show their..............

[CT9000]

......ASIC cards, which they had some difficulty getting. Not like the trolley dolleys who got their ASIS cards just handed out....

[turboplanner]

.......from Weeties packets. However, when Security turned around they gasped to see the resurrected bull floating on his back, his instruments floating in the air with not a care in the world.

the hostesses, as they dow were walking straight for the pool, but looking back over theor shoulders gossiping and tumbled into the pool. The pigs who had been running  flat out skidded in the water on the concrete around the pool, caused by bull's gigantic bomber [averef], and they tumbled in. Cappy, who had been showing off his latest purchase went in backwards.

Turbo, OneTrack and CT were able to stop just in time. Planey was in the Lifeguard's Tower, and .....................

[Captain]

10 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Planey was in the Lifeguard's Tower, and .....................

..... wearing short shorts, in which he was flexing his magnificent ......

[turboplanner]

.....tan sprayed legs, pink T Shirt and arm muscles while holding the stare of responsibility. He picked up his microphone and gave bull a spray for splashing, issued a warning to ...............

[Captain]

27 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.....tan sprayed legs, pink T Shirt and arm muscles while holding the stare of responsibility. He picked up his microphone and gave bull a spray for splashing, issued a warning to ...............

..... not look up the leg of his shorts (as, at the same time he issued complimentary magnifying glasses) and realised that giving bull a spray (spraytanref), when the wind (avref) is blowing just meant that onesie became more orange than Don and his hair was ......

Edited March 30, 2023 by Captain

[bull]

2 hours ago, Captain said:

..... not look up the leg of his shorts (as, at the same time he issued complimentary magnifying glasses) and realised that giving bull a spray (spraytanref), when the wind (avref) is blowing just meant that onesie became more orange than Don and his hair was ......

.....good enough to use on the weekends as a training aid at night for [MOB] purposes for the coast guard. The blackhawk captain [avref] said his head stood out so well we could..............

Edited March 30, 2023 by bull

[Captain]

47 minutes ago, bull said:

.....good enough to use on the weekends as a training aid at night for [MOB] purposes for the coast guard. The blackhawk captain [avref] said his head stood out so well we could..............

.... be used as the inspiration for the next version of Shrek, where he is older, his missus had chucked him out, Donkey had dumped him for a younger man and he had just failed his 3rd attempt at his BFR (avref) .............. but there was a brighter said & that was that ......

[turboplanner]

.....he knew how to handle this rabble, and quietly picked up the garden hose............................

[onetrack]

....and got ready to do his garden hose act, which involved wrapping.........

[Captain]

1 hour ago, onetrack said:

....and got ready to do his garden hose act, which involved wrapping.........

.... it in tissue paper in the colours of the rainbow flag, and sticking it up .....

[turboplanner]

..........the flagpole by tying the lanyard on to the nozzle.......then he turned the hose on........on the way down the water droplets picked up every colour of the rainbow and soon the group of people around the pool looked looked like Mardi Gras marchers. Cappy had ................

[Captain]

10 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

..........the flagpole by tying the lanyard on to the nozzle.......then he turned the hose on........on the way down the water droplets picked up every colour of the rainbow and soon the group of people around the pool looked looked like Mardi Gras marchers. Cappy had ................

...... finally succeeded in ...........

[turboplanner]

......learning to swim (he'd been constantly teased when he stood on the shore shivering, but his favourite excuse was "No swimming instructors in the Khyber Pass chum!") and he now stretched out through the muddy slime for the edge but was kicked in the nuts by one of the pigs, squealing in the same octave as the pig, and in great pain as he climbed out and looked up just as ....................

[Captain]

32 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

......learning to swim (he'd been constantly teased when he stood on the shore shivering, but his favourite excuse was "No swimming instructors in the Khyber Pass chum!") and he now stretched out through the muddy slime for the edge but was kicked in the nuts by one of the pigs, squealing in the same octave as the pig, and in great pain as he climbed out and looked up just as ....................

..... a VicPol recruitment officer targeted him as the "Right Stuff for Dan's blackshirts" and the female probationary cuntstables laughed at his shrinkage, which was apparent because of the .....

[turboplanner]

.......bright light shining from the aura around Cappy's head. Usually it brought him disciples and feeds of fish for free, but he admitted it had its disadvantages when it go too close. Cappy of course, like Turbo was a sleeper CIA agent and Turbo quietly suggested that Cappy go with the VicPol recruitment officer so he might get a chance to find out what Dan was doing on his secret mission to China where even the Chinese Government had been left out of the loop. Chairman Xi had already phoned Albo for an explanation, and Albo, who will say anything came back with "He went there to study China's approach to Zero CO2". Xi froze, gave that fixed smile of his when he was angry and dispatched 15 operatives to Victoria where the new Constable Cook was assigned to watch them. Of Course it didn't take too much time before Cappy had them getting into the gin, and at the right moment he asked "What are you guys out here for?" We don't know" said the leader sensing that Cappy was fishing "We think that Dan XXXX went to china to take photos of our smog and embarrass us." he said "That Dan is a XXXX" said Cappy, already missing his daily routine, and with that the group was a team, and they came after Dan with ....................

[Captain]

12 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Of Course it didn't take too much time before Cappy had them getting into the gin, and at the right moment he asked "What are you guys out here for?" We don't know" said the leader sensing that Cappy was fishing "We think that Dan XXXX went to china to take photos of our smog and embarrass us." he said "That Dan is a XXXX" said Cappy, already missing his daily routine, and with that the group was a team, and they came after Dan with ..............

....... a gusto that is rarely seen in the public service.

 

"We rike Clappy as his Chinese helitage makes it much easier to communicate, prus we can ret him order the tucka without him using just the numbers." said the reader of the Chinese operatives "And that Dan broke certainry is a XXXX".

 

To this Clappy nodded inscrutabry and said "I aglee that Dan is a deadset XXXX and ..........

[turboplanner]

......the came up with a plan, which they put to Chairman Xi that would ensure Dan got more belts than roads, and Chairman Xi, for the first time laughed with his eyes as well as his mount, and ....................

[Captain]

15 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

......he came up with a plan, which they put to Chairman Xi that would ensure Dan got more belts than roads, and Chairman Xi, for the first time laughed with his eyes as well as his mouth, and ....................

...... instantly said "Yep, Dan certainry is a XXXX. Now how about you and me have some Peking Duck eh Clappy?"

 

"No wuckers" Xi, old mate" leplied Clappy and they headed off to ......

[turboplanner]

............see what parts China could supply for the aircraft in the pond.

XI saw this as an important boost for China's trade, and on seeing it lying there, its Cummins shining out above the water, he offered to go into full, worldwide, production. Since Cappy was the only on there he signed the contract, and when One Track read about it and made an urgent phone call he noticed Cappy was very evasive, cracking jokes about the weather in WA, all the sound and the rabbit proof fence that kept the rabbits in. He jumped on a plane and headed east to ................

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

He jumped on a plane and headed east to ............

..... cut Turbo out of the deal and also to dump on bull (Onesie said that bull hasn't really been crook and he was just having a nice lie down because he is a bit slack), and what he said about that CT from DG is a scandal.

 

But Crappy kept a calm demeanor and stayed loyal to his long-term great mate, Turdboy, bull from bone, that CT from DG and especially Planey (avref).

 

Crappy's loyalty to his close mates is a thing of legend and something that Xi admired and wanted to leward by offering Clappy the fleedom (sic) of the City of Wuhan, free Pangorins for life and a host of other rurks & perks, starting with a gross of .......

[turboplanner]

.....electric hair dryers on the grounds that one of them might work. Cappy was proud of his hair which looked light Don Trumps. He was careful to do the same rough job with the spray tan too and.....

[Captain]

Just now, turboplanner said:

.....electric hair dryers on the grounds that one of them might work. Cappy was proud of his hair which looked light Don Trumps. He was careful to do the same rough job with the spray tan too and.....

.......... Crappy also has a bevy of supermodels hanging off his arm, each anxious to be chosen as the next Mrs Crappy. (Truth be told, it was a session with a few supermodels (and I don't mean J230's on this occasion) that caused bull's turn, and to add insult to injury (well, a bit of a turn anyway) when bull spluttered a little, the models didn't even ..........