The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

6 hours ago, turboplanner said:

........way with "think it through; creeky herds gather there............

...... and with that Crappy fell to his knees with new respect for bull.

 

"Geeez" said Ratty to himself "bull was referring to cryptic crosswords and for all these years I have been unable to ever get 1 cryptic answer correct, even after sitting with a couple of mates almost every Saturday morning for the past 5 years, to do the Quizz and the crosswords".

 

i didnt realise that the crapster was so dumb said bull and the ......

[Captain]

15 minutes ago, Captain said:

didnt realise that the crapster was so dumb said bull and the ......

........ answer still had to be found to the cryptic "creeky herds gather there"........

Edited April 19, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....others looked at him as if he was slow.

In the nicest possible way OT pounted out that you had to take  them out of the plastic cover which stopped the uncontrolled swill from filling them out first.

Cappy looked at him in sudden realisation, then had to reverse as quickly as possible with furtive glances at Turbo to make sure he hadn't noticed.

Turbo kindly pretended to be dreaming and asked if anyone had a map of the Whitsundays becaise his mate was sailing his yacht through there next weekend, but ....................

[Captain]

And here, dear Readers, is the reason why Ratty and Turdboy are so close and have been for many decades.

 

They both posted at the same time and were obviously copasetic.

 

However Turdy has strayed from the path of NES (nesref) righteousness & skipped a post, so NESers need to still address the issue of the cryptic "creeky herds gather there".......

 

11 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Turbo kindly pretended to be dreaming and asked if anyone had a map of the Whitsundays because his mate was sailing his yacht through there next weekend, but .........

..... everyone looked at him with a blank stare & dribble in the corner of their mouths (CASAref), because the Turdy/Ratty close interaction was well known (some even suspected that there might be a gay relationship involved [NTTIAWWT]), and because of his super respected position within the aviation (avref) community & his total eminence in the Wreck Flying Forum Mob, Turbs was never (ever) questioned, and if he said a yacht was sailing through the WhitSundays (sailingref) next weekend, then that is what is happening, yacht or no yacht, and ......

Edited April 19, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......so Turbo agreed to come with Cappy and show him where the creeky herds could be found.

After a night on the town in Airlie Beach they set sail for the wilds of  Bora Bora in French Polynesia.

Turbo was able to help Cappy each time they became lost (Cappy kept looking for the Magenta Line, so Turbo had to navigate by the stars. Six days later they were gently nudging the sand oo the magical island of Bora Bora, Cappy pulled the switch on the hydraulic gang plank, and they were walking up the soft sand listening to the "plonk. plonk. blonk of lopped palm trucks belting the juice out of the betel nuts. Several naked girls walked past giving Cappy a huge smile with their red teeth, and Cappy quickly refocused on the task at hand. The steep climb up the mountain was to much for Cappy, so Turbo carried him on his back, and finally they heard the sound of water flowing. "That sounds creeky to me" said Cappy relieved and they entered the cool glade and drank from the fresh mountain stream. As the looked down the stream a herd of ..........................

 

[Captain]

5 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Turbo agreed to come with Cappy and show him where the creeky herds could be found.

The natives were then heard to say in broken English "Worry not about the "creeky herds", eh chaps. We have been invaded by creepy nerds (AUFref).

 

7 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

That sounds creeky to me" said Cappy relieved

.. and Turbo turned, disgusted,"You can't do that near this pristine water, and besides, while carrying you it went all down my back.

 

8 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

As the looked down the stream a herd of ..........

..... wilderbeast appeared.

 

"Well I'll be buggered" said the Chief "I've never .......

[turboplanner]

.......seen a wilderbeast before. David Attenborough just happened to be having a drink at the stream; "Nor have I" he said and Cappy kicked his deck chair over, starting a fight which spread to ...............

[Captain]

15 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......seen a wilderbeast before. David Attenborough just happened to be having a drink at the stream; "Nor have I" he said and Cappy kicked his deck chair over, starting a fight which spread to ...............

........ National Geographic, Jaques Cousteau (respects) , Alby Mangles, Hans Tholstrup and the Leyland Brothers.

 

"The problem here" said Dave A "Is that there are no animals to eat the wilderbeasts, and I like filming animals as they catch and eat other animals while still alive."

 

"We'll eat 'em, quick stix" volunteered the Chief. So Dave got out his box brownie. "Make sure there is lots of suffering and gore" directed Dave ....... and with that, another edition of "Life-on-Earth" was assured to be ........

Edited April 20, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........in the can.

But the Wilderbeasts were the man-eating one and ate the Chief.

Dave A would do anything for a quid so he sold the film to the Tongs who used it to encourage compliance. The Tongs onsold it to CASA for a quick mil. and then they ......................

[Captain]

27 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

The Tongs onsold it to CASA for a quick mil. and then they ...........

...... started a new round of their "We are from CASA, we are on your side (really and truly), and we are here to help you enjoy your flying more" roadshows at every flying club and major, minor and poxy-little airport and grass strip around OZ.

 

since when does a message that says do what we say or the wilderbeasts will eat you add to the freedom aviation (avref) experience asked bull at the AUF AGMs that he always attends, ........ then often gives a 2 hour (sometimes extending to 3 if he really gets going) dissertation on the "Joys of Crytics".

 

Onesie couldn't resist piping up, and that CT from DG did the same "The subliminal message in Dave's film, and which CASA has latched on to, is that the bigger the .......

[Captain]

23 minutes ago, Captain said:

"Joys of Crytics"

.......... Joys of Cryptics ........... (bloody computers).

[turboplanner]

14 minutes ago, Captain said:

...... started a new round of their "We are from CASA, we are on your side (really and truly), and we are here to help you enjoy your flying more" roadshows at every flying club and major, minor and poxy-little airport and grass strip around OZ.

 

since when does a message that says do what we say or the wilderbeasts will eat you add to the freedom aviation (avref) experience asked bull at the AUF AGMs that he always attends, ........ then often gives a 2 hour (sometimes extending to 3 if he really gets going) dissertation on the "Joys of Crytics".

 

Onesie couldn't resist piping up, and that CT from DG did the same "The subliminal message in Dave's film, and which CASA has latched on to, is that the bigger the .......

.... the predator the better the compliance.

Meanwhile the main players were still on Bora Bora, Dave A's shots becoming the world's most profitable Message to date. Cappy had become uneasy when Turbo told him that Wilderbeasts were not the herd he had been referring to, and Dave A eagerly said "Can I come too" when Turbo announced they had to go further up the creek. An hour later they started hearing soft cooing sounds like doves, and Dave A got out his BoxB again and aimed it down at the shrubs. There was a SNAP!!!!!! and a jaw the size of his arm had locked on to that arm and buried 352 tine teeth into it. Dave froze as he had been taught to do in Tiger filming. His eyes went up the jaw to a horse like head about a metre long and above that was an eye fixed on his and above the eye were two horns and above them was about three metres of neck and a metre above that were two tiny wings [AVREF] They all identified it as a Diprodonasaurus (DpD), and Turbo yelled to Cappy to get the camera and take a photo; it was well worth sacrificing Dave to the DpD. Turbo steapped back and started to evacuate but six metres behind there was a foot with huge claws which pinned him down. "Quick" he said to Cappy "get the footage and Message it then come and prise these claws off!"  Cappy ....................

[Captain]

10 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Cappy ...........

..... ever the mate, yet a tough bushman at heart, looked at Turbo, looked for the camera, considered the copyright income, looked at the excruciating pain in Turbo's handsome eyes and it was too much for Cappy.

 

He went for the money shot & wriggled Turbo's arm, perhaps a little more than was essential to get a bit more corpuscles into the shot, then ...........

[turboplanner]

Turbo uttered those immortal words “SICIMREX!” and Diprodonasaurus Rex

opened his mouth and closed his Jaw on Cappy shaking him like the dolly he was, and then.......

[Captain]

..... Cappy launched into her Grammy winning version of Joline.

 

"I quite like being the Dolly that I am" Cappy/Dolly said "And I have always reckoned that big t.........

[onetrack]

......yrannosaurus Rex's are cute, and that a Diprodonasaurus Rex is merely a figment of Turbo's over-active imagination, because a Diprodonasaurus Rex doesn't actually exist! - just like that movie Vastatosaurus Rex!

 

Cappy went on - "The film that the Tongs sold to CASA, came from the same studios that made King Kong, so nothing to fear there! What we do have to fear though, is if a CASA operative actually finds an accidentally expired licence amongst us! The fear and trembling that results from......

 

Edited April 21, 2023 by onetrack

[turboplanner]

..........knowing they have deep pockets, but not knowing what's in them because in the thousand or so times the deep pockets have been mentioned we've never heard what they contain.

Just the, as if he may have been eavesdropping a little man with beady eyes dressed in a light brown uniform came walking up the track, cane in hand. "Good Morning, my name's Rick, and I'm from CASA" he said, and Turbo noticed that he had deep pockets, not only in the safari coat, but on the thighs and ................

[Captain]

13 hours ago, turboplanner said:

..........knowing they have deep pockets, but not knowing what's in them because in the thousand or so times the deep pockets have been mentioned we've never heard what they contain.

Just the, as if he may have been eavesdropping a little man with beady eyes dressed in a light brown uniform came walking up the track, cane in hand. "Good Morning, my name's Rick, and I'm from CASA" he said, and Turbo noticed that he had deep pockets, not only in the safari coat, but on the thighs and ................

....... Turbo could see the CASA Brown-Shirt's hand deep down in those pockets.

 

Then Turdy, ever the diplomat, looked away and said subtly "Are you just pleased to see me, are you looking for your CASA Regulation Charge Book (the dreaded CRCB), or are you actually fiddling with your ........

 

 

TURBO GIVING AND EARLIER EXAMPLE OF POCKET BILLIARDS

WITH THE ARROW POINTING TO THE PRIZE.

Edited April 21, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....numbers 6 and 10?

The CASA man frowned and said "There has to be a pen in here somewhere" and he became quite anxious.

He was about to get a "223" under the CASA inspectingf CASA policy and that meant the loss of two weeks wages.

Suddenly realising it was Turbo, he said "I won't say anything if you don't say anything" and joined Turbo and Cappy in a Latte by the creek, supplied by the Boar's Tooth Cafe.

The cooing sound started again and all three of them raced down the creek...............

 

[Captain]

17 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

The cooing sound started again and all three of them raced down the creek.........

....... where a Coo-kaburra was eating a wilderbeast.

 

The Bora Bora Coo-kaburras had evolved from the rather pathetic Aussie Kookaburras that bludge for meat on the rail on your balcony, into one of the most efficient predators in the South Pacific (Great White sharks are like goldfish to them), they can eat half a wildebeest in one sitting plus have been known to .......

Edited April 21, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

......take aircraft out of the sky.

In fact Bora Bora Coo-kaburras played a dark part in AUF history.

Back in the days when men were men and flew Drifters real distances rather then just over nearby paddocks, a fly in was organised by "Happy" Hal Paycheck who was a world class Ultralight (as they were called then) designer. The flight from Wide Bay to Bora Bora was uneventful for the forty Drifters which had assembled from all over Australia, including the Air Ambulances, Fire Spotter, Liner Repair, Crop Spray and airine versions.

They stayed at the Rata Nui resort on the coral reef.

The main event was the Bora Bora secret dance [MOD3 - deleted, you know we can't report that].

The next morning there was a fly in to Creeky Valley. Every engine started perfectly and they climbed in a huge formation the thousands of feet up to the valley near the top of the mountain and round the other side. None of them made it back. The loss was never reported by the Bora Bora Tourism Authority and Australian families were told they must have run into a storm on the way home. In those days no one worried too much because half the AUF flyers fell out of the sky one way or they other.

40 years later Turbo was bird-watching up on Bora Bora, looked down and saw the scattered bones of the 40 pilots which included his father John Turbine and Cappy's, Jack Cook. He told Cappy who flew to the Spratley's base, rolled out the Corsair put on his Bomber jacket (even though this was a  Fighter) and leather helmet, cranked the big 14 foot diameter prop, hit the runway and after a quick burst of the guns towards the Chinese base headed for Bora Bora. A week later the Bora Bora Coo-kaburra was extinct.

Turbo made a mental note never to cross Cappy or .................

 

 

[Captain]

..... to deny his inane skills & bravery.

 

As reported by Turbs, Crappy had destroyed all of the Bora Bora Coo-kaburras, and it is now totally accepted that the Japanese 5th Fleet, which comprised 6 carriers, 5 frigates and 10 destroyers,

had disappeared in 1943 as a result of numerous attacks by Coo-kaburras. 

 

The fact that Crappy kicked their massive areses single handed, with minimal use of his precious ammo, was a matter of Dougy Bader type legend and .....

Edited April 21, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....although Cappy hadn't been a genuine Bader whose members had to cut off both legs, Cappy was certainly a legend on Bora Bora where he'd landed to refuel, hit the turps and been found in the Chief's teepee, but that's another story that.....................

[Captain]

11 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.....although Cappy hadn't been a genuine Bader whose members had to cut off both legs, Cappy was certainly a legend on Bora Bora where he'd landed to refuel, hit the turps and been found in the Chief's teepee, but that's another story that.....................

...... Mrs Chief promised not to tell.

 

However, the news was not all good and the shindig on the turps was a little preliminary, as a noise was heard deep in the Bora Bora hinterland, and just like there was always one Japanese soldier fighting on after WW2, until 1964, ("Why you keep laising that Clappy" asked Nobu "He was vely blave ..... and certainly quite persistent"), the noise indicated that one huge and very cranky Coo-kaburra had survived (like so many other stories of WW2, this Coo-kaburra was fortuitously off in the karzy checking out Facebook when Cappy attacked out of the sun, and he just thought that he had followed thru with a big one when all the noise happened.

 

"That was a good one" he cooed, and then he opened the huge dunny door to see the result of Crappy's great airmanship. It was then that he ......

[turboplanner]

.......saw the Corsair perched in a tree. Thinking he finally had a mate, he sat on it and ...............