The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

.......saw the Corsair perched in a tree. Thinking he finally had a mate, he sat on it and ...............

..... the 50 cal Gatling gun (the Corsair had been masterfully upgraded by Crappy) pumped 400 rounds per second into that tender spot right between his XXXX and his ........

Edited April 22, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

...............the last Coo-kaburra plopped to the ground where it was eaten by a flock of aerosuari. [avref]

Cappy sat there, the bulging exhaust stubs making tink, tink, tink noises and he pulled out his phone opened the new AI app and tapped: "How do I get a Corsair out of a tree in Bora Bora?"

Within seconds the answer came back "Call Turbine Corsair Recoveries on 1800 Genius" Within minutes there was a "Wop, Wop, Wop" sound and a Skycrane came into view, the crew fastened slings to the Corsair, and Cappy still in the seat was conveyed to the airport where Bora Bora Lames, checked it out, gave him a tank of fuel and sent him on his way back to the Spratleys. Cost $876,942.23.

Cappy marvelled at the power of AI, then idly looked down the App details for the developer. As the Turbo name came into view he realised that een if you were caught short for a sheet of toilet paper, Turbo was the only source of supply the app looked for, so Cappy.....................

 

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

As the Turbo name came into view he realised that even if you were caught short for a sheet of toilet paper, Turbo was the only source of supply the App looked for, so Cappy...........

....... realised for the 1st time that Turbo is either Jeff Bazos (in drag .... NTTIAWWT) or his Turbazon distribution network made Amazon look puny, or ..........

 

 

FURTHER RESEARCH BY CAPPY AFTER THIS POST HAS DISCLOSED THE BELOW YACHT 

ON THE AUSSIE REGISTER OF SHIPPING. SHE IS CALLED TURBINIA AND IS REGISTERED TO AN ANONYMOUS (TYPICAL OF TURBO'S MODESTY) MOORABBIN BUSINESSMAN. SO OUR MUCH BELOVED AND VERY OWN TURDBOY IS ACTUALLY JEFF BAZOS BUT WITH LESS HAIR.

 

 

THE BLOKE THAT WE NOW KNOW TO BE TURBO, LOOKING A BIT SMUG AFTER MAKING A KILLER POST, RIPPING IT UP SOMEBODY ON WRECK FLYING.

Edited April 22, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.................he was of Royal Blood.

Cappy decided he would get one up on Turbo and introduced ..................

[Captain]

5 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.................he was of Royal Blood.

Cappy decided he would get one up on Turbo and introduced ..................

...... Turbo to Prince Harry (who Crappy saved during one of his undercover tours in Afmelbourstan), who has royal blood and who has the same hair colour as Cappy remembers his great mate Turbo having 50/nay 60 years ago.

 

Turbo and Harry got on like a castle on fire and Turbo took him to ......

[turboplanner]

..... the footy and the people in the stands. "They could pass for twins" said a St. Kilda fan.

Turbo had bought a ticket for Cappy, who had been slobbering for three days at the thought, not of sitting next to Royalty, but all the adoring and envious glances he would receive. As he walked into the stand he imagined being asked for autographs, and giving advice to Harry on affairs of State, but Turbo knew him well and had booked him a seat right at the top of the stand where the seats were covered in pigeon crap.

Turbo and Harry were talking about the vicious Collective control in the Apache [avref] when ................

[bull]

21 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

..... the footy and the people in the stands. "They could pass for twins" said a St. Kilda fan.

Turbo had bought a ticket for Cappy, who had been slobbering for three days at the thought, not of sitting next to Royalty, but all the adoring and envious glances he would receive. As he walked into the stand he imagined being asked for autographs, and giving advice to Harry on affairs of State, but Turbo knew him well and had booked him a seat right at the top of the stand where the seats were covered in pigeon crap.

Turbo and Harry were talking about the vicious Collective control in the Apache [avref] when ................

........out of the blue swooped a bunch of Koo---kaburra,s [who had hidden out in the blue mountains until today to avenge the death of their siblings] they soon had Turbo and Harry in ribbons of flesh and one soon had Harrys left eyeball in it,s mouth and started to................................

[turboplanner]

.......chew but the badly wounded Turbo hit it in the guts, caught the eye, washed it in whskey, did an opticnervestitchup, dipped his thumb in whiskey and shovedthe eye back in. Then he caked their badly bleeding bodies in cowdung (a trick learnt from his farming days), rebuilt a Thruster (any Thruster left parked for more than three days needs rebuilding) and flew them to the Great State of Victoria.

bull received an award for finding the extinct breed of kookaburras and the Royal Society renamed them Bullkookaburras in honour of ............ 

 

Edited April 23, 2023 by turboplanner

[Captain]

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

bull received an award for finding the extinct breed of kookaburras and the Royal Society renamed them Bullkookaburras in honour of ........

....... bull's outstanding work.

 

"bull searched high and low (avref) throughout the eastern states, identified several sub-groups and undertook detailed genome analyses, then wrote a white paper that is post-doctoral in standard & detail (it is outstanding & publishable even without a single capital letter or punctuation mark) and bull achieved all that from his bed after his "turn", even with a few trips down to the cafeteria for coffee, a quick dart and to try to crack onto the lady in Ward 6. So let me tell all here present, and through the media to the world at large .... particularly to the Nobel Prize Committee in Stockholm, that bull's performance was Stephen Hawking - like (before he died of course, ....... as we do not wish bull's "turn" to end up the way that our mate Steve did)" said the President of the Royal Society, with considerable feeling.

 

The audience went tropo with excitement and yelled ".............

Edited April 24, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

......bull, bull, bull!!!!" and bull had to admit he'd never had that fame flying Ultralights, except for the time out west from Bowen at the Ravenswood Ute Muster. bull had won the circle work by ground looping a Tyro, and the old Cafe was rattling the floorboards that night when the trophies were .....................

[Captain]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

bull had won the circle work by ground looping a Tyro, and the old Cafe was rattling the floorboards that night when the trophies were .......

...... dished out.

 

"Bull may be a bit on the wrinkly side (even back then, well before his "turn") but his cool actions in the Tyro mean that he is not yet a fogy, so as well as being a very competent & endearing line dancing boot scooter, we reckon that he is a ......

Edited April 24, 2023 by Captain

[Captain]

bULL (PRE "TURN") LEADING THE VESTIL VIRGINS BOOT SCOOTING GROUP .... (HENCE THE GAPING RED V POINTING AT WHERE THEY MISSED OUT, AND PLEASE NOTE THE HIGHLY SUGGESTIVE GREY VESTIL INSIGNIAS)

(NOBODY BELIEVES THAT ANY OF THEM REALLY ARE).

NOBU IS ON THE RIGHT IN HIS FAVOURITE LONG WIG

Edited April 24, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

................long way ahead of Madge shown two rows behind him, who hasn't scored a trophy yet, or .........

[bull]

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

................long way ahead of Madge shown two rows behind him, who hasn't scored a trophy yet, or .........

.............got some time behind the shed with Bull,[who had slipped away for another liaison with the coffee lady],,,yeah ,she said i love to ................

[turboplanner]

.......fly, and my favourite aircraft is a Tyro.

This very unexpected request sent bull in a spin, because he had neglected to repair some slight damage to the prop, which hit his handbag on the last flight, so he .......................

[bull]

5 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......fly, and my favourite aircraft is a Tyro.

This very unexpected request sent bull in a spin, because he had neglected to repair some slight damage to the prop, which hit his handbag on the last flight, so he .......................

..got some nail filler and a bit of left over mascara from the mardi gra and she was sweet . Now the large bit of fabric hanging down under one wing was another  thing altogether!....... All good shouted OT ............[who was feeling a little left out of the NES] we can just.............

Edited April 25, 2023 by bull

[Captain]

1 hour ago, bull said:

All good shouted OT ............[who was feeling a little left out of the NES] we can just........

......... write me back into the story, in fact I suggest that we add both myself and that CT from DG into a vitally interesting tome ............. if only we had something interesting to recount .... so just give us a little time for us to caucus and to identify something riveting (avref) about our personal lives before we will get back to you all with a storyline that will lift the NES to a new level (avref) and please Planey (avref).

 

And with that, bull made a more determined pass at the coffee lady, and the NES ground to another halt, pending a ...........

Edited April 25, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....storyline. They went searching on various forums, and agreed the the one entitled "Do you part your hair on the left or the right when taking off"  could produce some good stories because the thread drift had got into thermostaic couples in supersonic flight, apparently something a Jabiru pilot should never be without, and dire warnings were .................

[Captain]

14 hours ago, bull said:

for another liaison with the coffee lady

BECAUSE bULL IS SUCH A GOOD MATE, CRAPPY RANG THE COFFEE LADY THIS MORNING TO SET IT ALL UP AND AS SHE SAID "I'M UP FOR IT AS HE IS HOT IN HIS HOSPITAL GOWN AND BUNNY SLIPPERS ............... BUT I'M CONCERENED THAT BY THE LOOK OF YOUR MATE WHAT I DO MIGHT BE HIS LAST AND I DON'T HAVE ANY PROFESSIONAL INDEMNITY INSURANCE". I TOLD HER I WOULD TALK TO bULL AND HIS MEDICOS THEN REPORT BACK. NOW THAT IS WHAT MATES ARE FOR.

[turboplanner]

Regular readers of the NES may have noticed that in recent weeks Cappy has been wearing a white coat and carrying a Clipboard. The equivalent Body to CASA, DOCS, had noticed it too and have just pounced on Cappy for impersonating. Made a valiant attempt to divert the DOI by grabbing his balls and shouting “COUGH”  but others had tried that before and......

[Captain]

45 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Made a valiant attempt to divert the DOI by grabbing his balls and shouting “COUGH”  but others had tried that before and......

.... were dismayed to find that he likes it.

 

"You have to start somewhere in your quest to be a brain surgeon" said Cappy to the Judge. "I come from a broken home, I was molested as a child (by the girl next door but the Court doesn't need those gory details), I was one of the stolen generation and I think I am also an .......

[turboplanner]

....Encumbered Person. The Judge started; he'd been warned been warned that anyone ticking the box "Aboriginal" was to be listed as "Encumbered Person"  and was to have the book thrown at them. The HC note stated, this makes up for the benefits they got, and so equal in the eyes of the law with people who don't tick the box.

So he put on his black hat and addressed Cappy thus: "...........................

[bull]

8 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....Encumbered Person. The Judge started; he'd been warned been warned that anyone ticking the box "Aboriginal" was to be listed as "Encumbered Person"  and was to have the book thrown at them. The HC note stated, this makes up for the benefits they got, and so equal in the eyes of the law with people who don't tick the box.

So he put on his black hat and addressed Cappy thus: "...........................

...It is the determination of this court ,   that Cappy is to be sentenced to a term of............

[Captain]

6 hours ago, bull said:

...It is the determination of this court ,   that Cappy is to be sentenced to a term of............

....... three years community service ................ and I direct that he serves that as a CASA Information Officer, charged with identifying & promoting all of the beneficial things that CASA does for the Wreck Flying community."

 

"Ahhhh fair go Judge, mate" responded Cappy's QC "I am instructed by my truly excellent client that what you have directed is nigh bloody impossible, and while my client's bravery, skill and fortitude has destroyed the Cookaburra population and as a result has been made honorary Chief of Bora Bora (by Mrs Chief) what you are now asking is akin to making Joey Biden compus again, or to make Kevin Rudd modest & bashful, but most of all the reason why your direction is unworkable & improper is that ...........

Edited April 26, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

......you can't convict my Client for grabbing the balls of an Official because I have here 17 depositions that he has no balls.

The Judge thought for a moment, then said "Attempting to" and added "Two Consecutive Hours flying a Thruster!"

Cappy went white; a sweat broke out on his face; everyone knew that flying a Thruster was akin to Transportation. He said ".....................................