The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

7 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

......you can't convict my Client for grabbing the balls of an Official because I have here 17 depositions that he has no balls.

The Judge thought for a moment, then said "Attempting to" and added "Two Consecutive Hours flying a Thruster!"

Cappy went white; a sweat broke out on his face; everyone knew that flying a Thruster was akin to Transportation. He said ".............

...... and not just "Transportation" mate. That is equivalent to Transportation for the term of my natural life."

 

With that the 60 Thuster owners in the public gallery became irate, pulled themselves up onto their walking frames and ..........

[turboplanner]

.........gnashed their teeth; three said it was worse, 2 said it wasn't quite as bad as that, one said the FA18 was not as good as the Superhornet, one said the Sopwith Pup was exellent in its day and six had a discussion on conducting Flyins at their home airports to save on the cost of fuel.

But one ......................

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

.........gnashed their teeth; three said it was worse, 2 said it wasn't quite as bad as that, one said the FA18 was not as good as the Superhornet, one said the Sopwith Pup was exellent in its day and six had a discussion on conducting Flyins at their home airports to save on the cost of fuel.

But one ......................

..... also commented that the thread drift was unacceptably high, but about what is normal for Wreck Flying.

 

However, another put his teeth back in and said " It's one of the great things about being inside the NES, that thread drift is prized and some of the biggest Drifters (avref) are on here .... not mentioning any names, of course."

 

"How come we came the Court to see Crappy get convicted, and we ended up in the NES with this mob writing about us" said one of the others, who was obviously one of the leaders as he had a high-performance red walking frame.

 

Then the chorused reply came back "That's because we have been .........

[turboplanner]

......newsmakers!"

And the discussion switched to which glue you apply to a .............................

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

And the discussion switched to which glue you apply to a .............................

...... soft ......

[turboplanner]

.....landing. This followed claims by some people that when landing their aircraft, they "stick it every time",

One negative person asked how you get it unstuck again and that caused a massive thread to rage fo weeks with graphic details of over 70 ways to take off, including......................

[Captain]

7 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.....landing. This followed claims by some people that when landing their aircraft, they "stick it every time",

One negative person asked how you get it unstuck again and that caused a massive thread to rage fo weeks with graphic details of over 70 ways to take off, including......................

........ pushing the thing that causes it to go BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRM and pulling back on the thing between your legs (in many examples).

 

The use of the term "between your legs" caused uproar amongst the trans-gender and LMBTQXYZ members of the AUF, who were offended and who ........

[turboplanner]

.....pointed out  that as new designs came on line, more and more ultralights had real Yokes, some with electronic istruments in the hub like a Formula 1. Others took issue with the BRRRRM noise and suggested it was more like a RAAAAAAAAARRRRR, and this caused a split in the ranks with one saying the 1915 Erole Foch had stubbies and .............

[Captain]

11 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.....pointed out  that as new designs came on line, more and more ultralights had real Yokes, some with electronic istruments in the hub like a Formula 1. Others took issue with the BRRRRM noise and suggested it was more like a RAAAAAAAAARRRRR, and this caused a split in the ranks with one saying the 1915 Erole Foch had stubbies and .............

..... others being much more cynical, believing that Errol had just knocked the baffles out of the muffler to make it sound faster, but that was ......

[Captain]

1 hour ago, Captain said:

Erole Foch had stubbies

POSTSCRIPT ..... Erroll also wore tight bike pants, because he found that stubbies did not show off his manhood sufficiently well, to compete with bull.

Edited April 27, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....balanced by another group of owners who used the more macho term Foch Erole.

It wasn't long before the posters realised they were supposed discussing skinning a Drifter, which of course required a different approach and technology as bull suggested, but it wasn't long before OT knocked the baffles out of bull with an assertive post on ................

[Captain]

........ the difference between a "turn" and an affliction that is serious enough to rule out a concerted attack on the coffee lady.

 

"It sounds to me like Bull has the equivalent of an ingrowing toenail if he can still skip down 6 flights of stairs and then have enough energy to "try-it-on" an innocent old coffee lady" wrote OT, somewhat vindictively. (Meanwhile Onesie himself has gone missing, so may have matched bull with a "turn" or something similar ..... or is OT just busy advising Marky Mark to get him out of his China difficulties?).

 

Cappy, of course, leapt to bull's defense as he and bull are mates, Turbo didn't give a rats (rattyref) as usual, Planey needed a quick avref (avref) or he would bail (partialavref) from this thread, and that CT from DG slaughtered a few other cute Peter Cottontails, banked (avref) the lease funds from the DG International Airports Corporation and responded ..........

 

THE LATEST CHINESE SPY BALOON PHOTO OF DG INTERNATIONAL

IT KICKS TULLA'S ARSE, EH?

AS YOU CAN SEE, QUITE A FEW FLIGHTS LAND LONG THERE, SO AS TO MISS THE MAFIA BURIAL GROUPS.

Edited April 28, 2023 by Captain

[Captain]

5 hours ago, Captain said:

THE LATEST CHINESE SPY BALOON PHOTO OF DG INTERNATIONAL

IT KICKS TULLA'S ARSE, EH?

AS YOU CAN SEE, QUITE A FEW FLIGHTS LAND LONG THERE, SO AS TO MISS THE MAFIA BURIAL GROUPS.

And have a look at those 5 majestic streams.

 

If you look closely there are a few (still) live Peter Cottontails at lower right, and some bloke sneaking up on them in camo gear carrying his pea rifle. "G'day CT".

[turboplanner]

........supporting bull.  "He's always been good at skinning a rabbit; he can skin a dozen in two minutes which is right of the bare-handed 1 per 10 seconds, "finger right rear finger left rear boot on hind feet, finger left front finger right front, pull skin over head, guts open right thumb, swing to flick guts out, flick into freezer van"; he's welcome here any time. CT had been texting this report, and taxying illegally on the new Runway 035. His Wanker Rotary powered Thruster was hurting his eardrums with its shattering pulsations, oil was dripping all over him and he was being burnt by steam coming out of the seal gaps, and failed to notice the shadow of the Dreamliner which had just landed behind him...........................

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

His Wanker Rotary powered Thruster was hurting his eardrums with its shattering pulsations, oil was dripping all over him and he was being burnt by steam coming out of the seal gaps, and failed to notice the shadow of the Dreamliner which had just landed behind him............

. .... , but fortunately, Thrusters (avref) are little and DreamLiners (avref) are big, so it ran right over the top of him, and didn't even muck his hair up.

 

He was lucky that the DreamLiner jockey was a bit late with his reverse thrust (he had been having his legislated break with a hostie (avref) until the aircraft (avref) turned final (avref) on auto-land, using the finest computer software that Boeing could produce, and he was still washing his hands as they touched down.

 

"That was the most thrilling thing ever to happen while flying (avref) a Thruster" said CT as he emerged out of the DL's shadow and as a result I think I will sell my ......

Edited April 28, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........Thruster and buy a DL"

And here, dear NES Readers he fell into the trap of thousands of AUF members reaching for that dream goal, the Cessna; he didn't have the cash, even with selling 35 pair of rabbits a day, so ................

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

........Thruster and buy a DL"

And here, dear NES Readers he fell into the trap of thousands of AUF members reaching for that dream goal, the Cessna; he didn't have the cash, even with selling 35 pair of rabbits a day, so ................

...... he bought the next best thing, a ........

[onetrack]

....Piper that had only been lightly grazed by a B747. "It's the bargain of the decade!", cried CT. "Those wing spars will straighten out O.K., I'll give them to Peter the Panel Beater, the best bloke around DG for straightening bent metal! He'll have them looking like new in a matter of days, and I'll ensure he only uses the minimum amount of body filler!"

 

"But what about the airworthiness inspection?" inquired Cappy. "This isn't your average DG, rabbit-shooting Morris Minor, we're looking at here! This is a ...........

 

(OT offers his apologies to Cappy for neglecting the NES in recent times. OT has been ill with the dreaded COVID, but he didn't get the finest hospital treatment, as bull did - and neither did he get the goodies from the hospital cafe, that bull has been bragging about. OT had to be content with a few pills, and the occasional cup of tea, and a biscuit. Such is life.)

[Captain]

11 hours ago, onetrack said:

"But what about the airworthiness inspection?" inquired Cappy. "This isn't your average DG, rabbit-shooting Morris Minor, we're looking at here! This is a ........

.... sophisticated piece of aviation technology (even if it is a Piper), that even ........

Edited April 29, 2023 by Captain

[Captain]

11 hours ago, onetrack said:

(OT offers his apologies to Cappy for neglecting the NES in recent times. OT has been ill with the dreaded COVID, but he didn't get the finest hospital treatment, as bull did - and neither did he get the goodies from the hospital cafe, that bull has been bragging about. OT had to be content with a few pills, and the occasional cup of tea, and a biscuit. Such is life.)

The Crapster accepts OT's apology and is aware from several easterner spies behind the lines in WA, that during Onesie's delirium he removed some floorboards and started to dig.

 

After excavating 4 tonnes of sand, somebody was able to get through to him and ask "Why are you doing that?".

 

In his Covid and AstraZeneca fueled, glazed eyed, stupor, he mumbled "bull said there is a coffee shop with a hottie coffee lady down there and I want a piece of the action, even if she doesn't have true-blue WA Aerian blood, and is just a Tasmanian".

 

Help was called and OT was safely coaxed back to bed with the only thing he remembers, which is a few tranquilizer pills, a Liptons teabag and an old stale SAO.

 

(The back-story is that some family prankster had slipped a blue pill in with his panadols).

 

(The front story is that once recovered, OT was heard to ask "Why is there so much sand down my jocks?)

 

Edited April 29, 2023 by Captain

[onetrack]

(Unfortunately - and ruining the Captains fabulous story - OT has to report he contracted the dreaded COVID whilst on a break on the Gold Coast. I guess there is some sand there, but I didn't get much chance to dig in it! .... )

[Captain]

6 minutes ago, onetrack said:

(Unfortunately - and ruining the Captains fabulous story - OT has to report he contracted the dreaded COVID whilst on a break on the Gold Coast. I guess there is some sand there, but I didn't get much chance to dig in it! .... )

Oh well, at least it was a better, eastern, strain of Covid.

 

Anyway, let us rejoice, and thank the Turbo, that Onesie is well again, and that the aviation world is on a level (avref) plane (avpun) again.

Edited April 29, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.........and Cappy's puns continue in his tradition of one worders.

While it is not generally known and Turbo asks that NES readers don't go to the news media with this, during the peak of the Covid epidemic where Scomo, in addition to not holding State Fore brigade hoses had given orders to invent a vaccine, but not deliver it under any circumstances Turbine Vaccines had come up with a win win solution using chocolate flavoured sump oil. The results were stunning, no one died of Covid and a lot of Australians now have greasy complexions, and .............

[Captain]

......... there has not been a single case of constipation since .....

[bull]

3 hours ago, Captain said:

......... there has not been a single case of constipation since .....

.........although the tech scam rates have gone through the roof! It was getting so bad that even when you rang a taxi to get home from the pub the operators would be like: Hello sir your taxi will require you to purchase 2 $500 gift cards and you will stay on the phone until you scratch the number and give it to me for your reservation ,sir? Now this was effecting old OT on the Gold Coast [land of the meter maids] as he walked along the coolangatta sands dragging his luggage behind him [I,m too smart for these tech scams said OT] on the way to the airport to collect his thruster for the flight home .This made him very...................[Unfortunately the quality of the meter maids had also fallen behind the par,,this was OT with 2 of the better ones after his clash with covid]