The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

 

............[19] Turbo admits to finding it difficult to see the end in the above post, let alone working out what "scratching the number" meant, but he understood Drifters and caught a ride with bull out of the Gold Coast, and it really was coast because bull just pushed the Drifter across the lawn and onto the Goldie beach and gave it WOT. As they lifted off bull saw his favourite FoI, Rick, who'd been hiding out waiting for exactly this moment. He gave Rick the finger and turned to Turbo laughing, but that quickly turned to a wail as the engine cut.

 

He, NES readers had failed to use a Mr Funnel when filling the tank. Not only that but he'd failed to read the thread, longer than the New Testament of the Bible where some expert had warned not to buy fuel from Mr Cheap in Southport.

 

Rick was advancing with nothing but a Formal Look on his face..................

[CT9000]

......as he neared the Drifter and saw the propulsion system. This wonderful blend of high tech innovation consisting of two Morry minor

850 engines welded together driving a Cummins injector pump to power a hydraulic prop drive with a seven foot prop.

To save shearing the boom off it was cut and placed in front of the pod in a cannard style. What could possibly go wrong ? ......

[Captain]

15 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Turbo admits to finding it difficult to see the end in the above post, let alone working out what "scratching the number" meant,

AND THERE, DEAR READER, is a prime example of Turbo's lack of connection with the common man (cappyref and bullref) and why Turbo will never be able to relate to those that buy Scratchies in an attempt to lift themselves from their poverty-trap, to thereby step up to purchase a Drifter or a Thruster or one of the other fine aircraft that Turbo has denigrated over recent years.

 

Once Turbo returns from his ceremonial duties at Chuck's Coronation, I will counsel him on being more down-to-earth (avref).

Edited May 2, 2023 by Captain

[Captain]

3 hours ago, Captain said:

Turbo will never be able to relate to those that buy Scratchies in an attempt to lift themselves from their poverty-trap, to thereby step up to ........

...... even a chick-magnet powerful American sportscar.

[turboplanner]

....which admittedly travels faster than his home made aircraft.

Cappy was miffed at this comparison and...................

[Captain]

7 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....which admittedly travels faster than his home made aircraft.

Cappy was miffed at this comparison and...................

.... made the point to his NES colleagues, and to the thousands of local & international NES readers, that Cappy has never been game to even dream about owning a red American Sportscar, let alone feel that amazing torque and the grip that is engendered by the transverse leaf suspension (Cappy has spent his entire life living in the shadow of his great mate Turbo, and picking up an occasional crumb from the Turbine family table) .......... but then again ........

Edited May 2, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......perhaps there was even more to learn, like how to check the tyre pressure in an Ultralite, which..........

[Captain]

7 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......perhaps there was even more to learn, like how to check the tyre pressure in an Ultralite, which..........

...... is a name long gone in the annals of Aussie aviation (avref) history and unacceptable in modern AUF society (many of the yuppy "plastic fantastic" younger flyers feel unsafe and confronted by the use of such words) which just goes to show that Turbo is now, perhaps increasingly while at his keyboard, recalling yesteryear while fiddling with his .........

Edited May 2, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

......lost chords. Not many people know that he's the songwriter for Ed Sheeran, and as the world enters this new frightening phase where global warming  has dried up all the song material, plentiful in the days of Frank Sinatra and Elvis Presley, but hard to find a new song that isn't already copyrighted these days, Turbo feels that if he can discover the lost chord, he will be able to market a whole new raft of music.

 

And much the same is happening with aviation where Wreck A owners are now aspiring to those popular Cessnas which are talked about in the Newspapers, and wanting to buy the heavier aircraft that were previously considered ony good enough for students and flying over to the neighbour's airstrip to borrow a drawbar pin/tin of drench/half a dozen rabbit traps etc.

 

And Turbo asks the question: "If 200 posts in a thread offer advice on how to check the tyre pressure in an Ultralite, wouldn't it be silly if there were no Ultralites?

[Captain]

15 hours ago, turboplanner said:

......lost chords. Not many people know that he's the songwriter for Ed Sheeran, and as the world enters this new frightening phase where global warming  has dried up all the song material, plentiful in the days of Frank Sinatra and Elvis Presley, but hard to find a new song that isn't already copyrighted these days, Turbo feels that if he can discover the lost chord, he will be able to market a whole new raft of music.

 

And much the same is happening with aviation where Wreck A owners are now aspiring to those popular Cessnas which are talked about in the Newspapers, and wanting to buy the heavier aircraft that were previously considered ony good enough for students and flying over to the neighbour's airstrip to borrow a drawbar pin/tin of drench/half a dozen rabbit traps etc.

 

And Turbo asks the question: "If 200 posts in a thread offer advice on how to check the tyre pressure in an Ultralite, wouldn't it be silly if there were no Ultralites?

........ (in the usual spirit of NES cooperation, Ratty is going to assume that there were .......s at the end of Tink's last post, & that he just ran out of ink) ..... and therefore, with no Ultralites, there were no tyres about which to debate for 200 posts. ("I agree" said Moderator 5 "As I was trying to find a reason to shut down that thread since post #8).

 

Turbo has been known by his mates for some time as the Bob Dylan of our generation (which is a bit strange, as Bob, Turdboy and Ratty ARE of the same generation) and Ed Shearem (a unique dual member of both the Country Music Hall of Fame and the Shearer's Hall of Fame) obviously recognizes Tubb's ability after he heard his version of Blowing in the Wind.

 

Turdboy's name was also proven to be well founded when his discovery of the "Lost Chords" (as admitted above) accidentally crossed over with his unfortunate discovery of the "Brown Noise" and as a result everyone within 1000 m of Turbo when he played it, involuntarily filled their .........

 

 

 

 

Edited May 3, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.........recreational aircraft with fuel[avrefs], and went for a fly as a result of his subliminal message, and sprayed ............................................

[onetrack]

....the general area with White noise - thus outraging the BLM group, who wanted to know why White noise was chosen, and Black noise was treated disdainfully, thus making millions of.........

[turboplanner]

......ABC listeners cough up their weet bix.

Turbo hired a Public Relations Agency, and by the time they'd finished dealing with it, there was noise, but it was dead so no one could mention it, and Turbo, shown arm in arm with Dave Attenborough walking through the rainforest with a basket on his arm with green leaves labelled prominently Green Noise, and Dave saying "I've never seen this before; an industrialist walking through the forest picking up his own noise, or ..............."

Edited May 4, 2023 by turboplanner

[bull]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

......ABC listeners cough up their weet bix.

Turbo hired a Public Relations Agency, and by the time they'd finished dealing with it, there was noise, but it was dead so no one could mention it, and Turbo, shown arm in arm with Dave Attenborough walking through the rainforest with a basket on his arm with green leaves labelled prominently Green Noise, and Dave saying "I've never seen this before; an industrialist walking through the forest picking up his own noise, or ..............."

...............using the colour of a noise like a weapon ,,,and the protesters gathered outside the Wagga wagga supreme court waving the placards,,,Down with "white" noise they say Black noise rules,,dismantle the chorus of noise discrimination and end the cruelty of the...................

Edited May 4, 2023 by bull

[turboplanner]

....WHITE NOISE!!!!!!!"

Just then the Wagga Wagga Catholic Bells (Sponsored by Lox Regional Industries Ltd) began to peal and a shadow moved swiftly along the streets and smote the protestors down.

Colourless Noise had come to Wagga ...........................

[Captain]

8 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Colourless Noise had come to Wagga .............

........ and did not really care who or what it smoted.

 

(Even Archbishop Lox was concerned, and he doesn't usually care about too much unless it affects his till).

 

With smote after smote, CN became more callous and was soon despised by .....

Edited May 4, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....the people of Sodom, sorry, Wagga Wagga, to the point where they began to smite ..............................

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....the people of Sodom, sorry, Wagga Wagga, to the point where they began to smite ..............................

.... and recite biblical quotes.

 

One even became confused with his Sodoms and his Gomorrahs and his Davids and his Goliaths, to the point where he snuck up and started to cut Archbishop Lox's locks.

 

"Steady on mate" ABL said "My name is not Sam, son, but while you are there, I wouldn't mind a short back and sides to make me look more Archy Bishop-like, and to ........

Edited May 4, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

......get rid of the WW lice that I can’t seem to shake. His crew members nodded ......

Edited May 4, 2023 by turboplanner

[Captain]

12 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

His crew members nodded .....

.....and said "Yeah no ..... he asked for short back and sides, not a crew cut, and those aren't lice, they are ....

[turboplanner]

......hundred dollar bills. Loxie is so tight he can compress them into little balls which he keeps in his hair in case his house is burgled. And they all lapsed into silence because they realised no one could ever be as smart as Loxie. Why only last week ......................

[Captain]

10 hours ago, turboplanner said:

......hundred dollar bills. Loxie is so tight he can compress them into little balls which he keeps in his hair in case his house is burgled. And they all lapsed into silence because they realised no one could ever be as smart as Loxie. Why only last week ......................

..... Loxley appeared as a radical Rastafarian in a play at the Wagga Centre for Fine Arts (known locally as The F'arts), based on the life of Bob Marley, where Lox's part was to play Bob at both ends of his life.

 

As a young Bob he fashioned the $100 bills into tassels as shown in the below photo.

 

As old Bob, Loxie was able to play himself, but will 20 kgs of cow dung plastered into his Archbishopy hair, also see below.

 

The performance was a triumph and Loxley has now been booked to play .........

 

 

 

LOXIE AS YOUNG BOB, ABOUT TO GO ON FROM STAGE RIGHT.

He enjoyed the little bit of cross-dressing.

 

 

 

LOXIE AS OLD BOB, ALL DUNGED UP ... DOWN ON THE BANKS OF THE MURRUMBIDGEE.

He stayed in character and performed Sunday Mass like this last weekend. "It was easier to stay in character than to have to follow & stick my head under another cow" he commented when interviewed by the Daily Advertiser.

Edited May 5, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....at the Coronation of King Charles III, and afterwards take him for a fly in his new Elecetric Drifter.

Loxie had not quite mastered.......................

[onetrack]

.....the new array of switches and controls in the new Electric Drifter, and it wasn't long before he was struggling to land it. After 15 attempts at landing, 6 of which he accidentally buzzed the Coronation Coach - thereby raising a level of alarm amongst the Kings security detail, not seen since the last IRA bombing - numerous weapons were trained on the Drifter as it descended for another landing attempt. But as Loxie reached an altitude of around 200 feet, he heard an almighty.....

[Captain]

8 minutes ago, onetrack said:

numerous weapons were trained on the Drifter as it descended for another landing attempt. But as Loxie reached an altitude of around 200 feet, he heard an almighty.....

.... voice from above.

 

"Is that you Turbo" he said "Can you give me a few tips on how to land this thing when the Mall is full of people."

 

"Don't worry my son." replied Turbs "They will scatter when they realise that you only have 4% charge remaining, after all, you have been in the air (avref) for all of 10 minutes and you are a .......

Edited May 6, 2023 by Captain