The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

....match it with Cappy, so Cappy decided to join ISAS. He knew he would have to go through the radicalisation process but thought he could get through it without being caught up by it, somethig he'd never managed to do before, so he ...............

[Captain]

8 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....match it with Cappy, so Cappy decided to join ISAS. He knew he would have to go through the radicalisation process but thought he could get through it without being caught up by it, somethig he'd never managed to do before, so he ...............

...... put his fingers in his ears and called out "Nah, Nah, Nah, nah nah" and other phrase book translations all the way through his training.

 

He really enjoyed making the bombs with fencing wire fuses and the sound of the AK's was like music to his .......

[turboplanner]

.....ears, or would have been if he took his fingers out of them. At the end of the training he was about half radicalised, a most dangerous state for Cappy with his ancestry.

He walked around not sure whether to blow up the Sydney Harbour Bridge or send a gunboat up the river to give the people of Parramatta a whiff of grapeshot or ...................

[Captain]

On 11/05/2023 at 4:37 PM, turboplanner said:

.....ears, or would have been if he took his fingers out of them. At the end of the training he was about half radicalised, a most dangerous state for Cappy with his ancestry.

He walked around not sure whether to blow up the Sydney Harbour Bridge or send a gunboat up the river to give the people of Parramatta a whiff of grapeshot or ...................

................ just to continue with the happy-go-lucky half of his radicalization, making good money mining Lapis Lazuli up the Beckah Valley, living the good life up the Khyber (the couple of affluent Afghans do that a bit), and smelling the Afghan roses poppies.

 

But eventually his bad side (the 1st time it had ever been seen in Cappy's distinguished life ..... so the bad 50% radicalization must have been pretty effective), he decided to consult with his Aussie Taliban brothers in western Sydney and around Moorabbin, who had been in OZ for a couple of years to form sleeper cells, but instead they had gone on the dole, slept most of the day, and bought Harleys ......... to form the Hells Prophets outlaw motorcycle gang (prospects were only allowed to ride Tata scooters).

 

They had all developed an Aussie sense of humour (Afghan blokes can be real dags) "We'd blow up Parramatta and whiff up the people on the Harbour Bridge", so Cappy did.

 

But when he did, the tourists on the Harbour Bridge said "What are you doing whiffing down there, and the great Taliban Sydney Harbour Bridge Whiff Attack (infamously always to be known as the TGTSHBWA) was reported in the SMH as a ..........

 

 

Edited May 13, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........sequel to 9/11, probably instigated by Scomo, and if not, that Turnbul character or Tony the Bike, a well known lycra model from Sydney. Albo told the Canberra Press Club, that he was going to order the Army to attack Kabul, but not to tell anyone. Cappy realised it wouldn't take ASIO long to come after him too, so ...................

Edited May 13, 2023 by turboplanner

[Captain]

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

........sequel to 9/11, probably instigated by Scomo, and if not, that Turnbul character or Tony the Bike, a well known lycra model from Sydney. Albo told the Canberra Press Club, that he was going to order the Army to attack Kabul, but not to tell anyone. Cappy realised it wouldn't take ASIO long to come after him too, so ...................

...... he asked Turdboy, another well-known bomb-chucker (figuratively speaking of course, ..... although his figure is nothing to write home about), for asylum in Moorabbistan, a request which was .....

Edited May 14, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......denied of course; he was from New South Wales and we all know.........

[Captain]

12 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......denied of course; he was from New South Wales and we all know.........

.... that they make the Taliban look like handsome .......

[turboplanner]

.....and at that moment Onetrack stuck his head up over the wall and ..................

[onetrack]

.....said, "you blokes haven't seen anything like radicalised, until you've seen a bunch of West Australian bogans denied their Ugg boots, KFC and Maccas, burnouts, and hotted-up VS Commodores. They make the Taliban and Tom Starcevich look like pussycats, as they go on the warpath, demanding their proper bogan entitlements and ..........

[Captain]

2 hours ago, onetrack said:

.....said, "you blokes haven't seen anything like radicalised, until you've seen a bunch of West Australian bogans denied their Ugg boots, KFC and Maccas, burnouts, and hotted-up VS Commodores. They make the Taliban and Tom Starcevich look like pussycats, as they go on the warpath, demanding their proper bogan entitlements and ..........

.... new flannel shirts for life, plus participation in The Voice ........

[turboplanner]

......and when One Track mentioned the Voice they broke into load clapping and cheering, because they knew that the people pushing the Voice BS weren't Aboriginal, but people like them. Speech after speech was made pointing out that the Yakka Yakka Aboriginal Corporation was made up of bikies who been rejected for membership of other clans, The Wakka Wakka Land Council was really the Road Construction and Slow Down Signage Union Inc. The Tjintitj Tribal Council of Elders was the Mid Murray Mens Gold Club and so on, all working diligently for other people's tax money.  And so the WABOG Aboriginal Council was formed with the Elders (the money managers) being One Emu Track, Morton and Macca Macca, who .......................

[onetrack]

....were the Original Bush Mechanics, before those other unknown TV "stars" stole their title and gave away their repair secrets. It wasn't widely known, either, that One Emu Track, Morton and Macca Macca had recovered a crashed and abandoned G.A.S. Cessna 310 from the bush, and had got it airworthy again with parts taken from AU Falcons, HR Holdens, and even VS Commodores - thus beating those smart-a*** Africans hands-down, who all reckoned they could build their own aircraft using scrap steel and aluminium, and using surplus Honda GX390's stolen from Govt cement mixers.

 

But the problem of course, was that neither One Emu Track, Morton or Macca Macca had Cessna 310 endorsements, so they had to find someone who was qualified on the 310. Accordingly, they passed the word around the bush telegraph, and lo and behold, who should turn up, but.........

 

Edited May 15, 2023 by onetrack

[Captain]

14 hours ago, onetrack said:

Accordingly, they passed the word around the bush telegraph, and lo and behold, who should turn up, but........

...... Earnie Dingo, David Gulpallil (respects etc), Kathy Freeman, Noel Pearson, Stan Grant and Neville Bonner (respects etc). 

 

"That why you keep falling over, eh, One Emu Track (OET)?" said Dave (respects etc) "You only make'n one track because you only got one leg, and you too silly to even .......

Edited May 15, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

..........learn to hop."

OET thought for a while, realising it was true, so he leaned on a wall and pushed himself up with his one leg, and began to hop. Soon he was hopping down to the supermarkets, hopping down to the pub, hopping up to watch the football. This got him thinking he could learn to fly. "If Douglas Bader could do it, so can I" he said to himself, and he started taking lessons at the Western Australia Flying Academy run by .................

[Captain]

28 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

..........learn to hop."

OET thought for a while, realising it was true, so he leaned on a wall and pushed himself up with his one leg, and began to hop. Soon he was hopping down to the supermarkets, hopping down to the pub, hopping up to watch the football. This got him thinking he could learn to fly. "If Douglas Bader could do it, so can I" he said to himself, and he started taking lessons at the Western Australia Flying Academy run by .................

..... a character known all over the WA flying scene as One Arm Charlie, who had lost his right arm in the WA Border Wars between Clive Palmer and Marky Mark McGowan.

 

One Arm Charlie (OAC ..... but not the obnoxious lefty AOC with the bad attitude but pretty nice t**s) used to work as a juggler, but his earnings were halved as a result of the war, even though juggling fast & throwing knives at spinning ladies is harder with just one arm.

 

So OAC bought a fleet of 20 Jabirus to start a flying school, before realizing that you need a right arm to fly them. He then bought 20 Logitech toggles in an attempt to emulate the controls in a Sirus or Airbus, but all that did was allow him to be distracted with playing Pakman or Mario Bros on the electronic dashboard.

 

With OET joining OAC to learn to fly, and having to reach over the instructor (sic) to grab his toggle ("Don't worry about crossed controls and all that flying garbage, I bet you can't beat 505 and get Mario to jump 4 levels" was OAC's standard challenge) was a recipe for constant circling and ..........

Edited May 15, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....this wore the aileron hinges which were made out of bronze welding rod. The aerodynamic flutter [avref] .......................................

[Captain]

52 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.....this wore the aileron hinges which were made out of bronze welding rod. The aerodynamic flutter [avref] .......................................

..... reminded OET and OAC (as well as Ernie, Dave, Kath, Noel, Stan and Doug), of the corroboree noises from the time that they all spent soaking up the culture for months and months in a primitive outback camp, 500 kms north of Leonora & 300 kms west of Nowhere In Particular (NIP).  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ("Why you bling me back into this clappy storly?" asked the Nob.)

 

(This all happened soon after the outback war, when OET and OAC had their bleeding stumps giving them both grief .... OAC's from a battlefield amputation in shocking conditions, and OET from some cosmetic surgery he opted for in the groin area, that went pear-shaped in a cheap hospital in Bangladesh).

 

Stan went particularly native and threw off his ABC mantra, his $100 haircuts and his $5000 suits in order to join OET in an evocative ......

Edited May 15, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....ditty. The smarter observers identified it as the Dam Busters theme.

”Noel! you fool!” said Cappy to Nob, who had developed a Japanese habit of clicking his teeth in time to music. Not many people know this habit developed on the Tokyo Rail where commuters would click their teeth to the clickety clack of the rail lines. Of course they had to click faster for the Bellerive trains. “I was Dam Buster” he told Cappy. We wanted to bro up Golden Gate Bridge, so I  vorunteer for Dam Buster Mission. Got British passport, name Noel Coward, wife Madge no one noticed any difference until..........

[Captain]

17 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

no one noticed any difference until........

......... I gave a speach at the Smithsonian on the plincipals of the Bouncing Bomb, specificary deveroped by Kawasaki Heavy Industlies after a few of their engineers had too much saki, and clied Kawa....... 

[turboplanner]

..........BUNGA!!!" instead of honouring their city. They were marched down to Price Station where Porice gave them 20 lashes and ask me to give them recture on how to rive quietry in Nippon.

 

British got to hear of my recture and I in trouble with ....................................

 

 

[Captain]

9 hours ago, turboplanner said:

 

British got to hear of my recture and I in trouble with ....................................

 

.... TANBoBoS (The All Nippon Bouncing Bomb Society) who leckon they invented it first & they think I have brabbed, however I can easily prove that this was in the pubric domain, because we used these items up the Yangtze when we attacked ......

[onetrack]

.....Nanking. "Hold on", said OT, "I'm getting a bit sick of this exaggerated fake Japanese accent - even Turbo and Cappy have started speaking like it, now! Real Japanese don't talk like that, what is your actual ancestry, anyway?"

 

"Oh, sorry", said Nob. "It was all Cappys fault, he reckoned I would come over better as a bitter enemy, if I spoke just like all the Japs spoke in WW2 propaganda. As to my actual ancestry, I was was born within earshot of the Kapooka Rifle Range, so that doesn't really make me a Jap at all, does it? And I got these slanted eyes from when I was doing.......

[Captain]

55 minutes ago, onetrack said:

.....Nanking. "Hold on", said OT, "I'm getting a bit sick of this exaggerated fake Japanese accent - even Turbo and Cappy have started speaking like it, now! Real Japanese don't talk like that,

"Ohhhhhhhhhh, don't you wolly about that Onetlack" leplied Nobu as he bowed deeply with lespect, using a mixture of Jo and Nobu-speak.

 

This made bull plick up his ears, being a Bone boy from the Jo/peanut muncher era (and he fancied Flo for a while too {passionate lovemaking and pumpkin scones have always been bull's weakness, hence the nighttime visits to the coffee lady}).

Edited May 16, 2023 by Captain

[Captain]

56 minutes ago, onetrack said:

As to my actual ancestry, I was was born within earshot of the Kapooka Rifle Range, so that doesn't really make me a Jap at all, does it? And I got these slanted eyes from when I was doing.......

...... 130 kph without goggles, on my dad's short-track bike, which was powered by a 500 JAP engine ........... hence the name."

 

The NES was stunned.

 

"My real name is Bruce McCartney" said Nobu, "I have redish hair, and I am the fruit of the loins of .........

Edited May 16, 2023 by Captain