The Never Ending Story

[bull]

26 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......there was a rooster sound from the gun when he pulled the trigger. The British hushed this up during WW1 because they didn't want to admit this thought bubble from the British Generals hadn't worked. The Americans who'd only just entered the war quickly adopted the term "Locked and Loaded" in their guns, which fired bullets and were more effective in war.

 

CT quickly realised he'd been conned by the Poms when he bought "Government Disposals Weapons" from them, and ...............

 

 

.....suddenly now worried about the 10 tonnes of other "Government Disposal Weapons" he had at home under the house. Maybe ...............

[onetrack]

....it was time to organise the Great DG Fly-In and Aerial Rabbit Shoot, with every entrant entitled to take and use any WW1 ex-Govt Disposals firearm of their choice, from CT's vast stocks.

 

The word got around like wildfire, as everyone and their dog wanted to be a real cowboy, and shoot up stuff from aircraft at low level, just like in the movies.

Plus, seeing as CT was organising the whole show, any problems with local opposition on the ground, or aviation authorities - and even the rabbits - would be entirely in CT's lap, and he'd have to.............

[turboplanner]

...use his considerable persuasive skills to .......................

[CT9000]

......Implement a policy of not shooting the ground staff who are only employees of the Darraweit Guim lead and brass mining company......    

[Captain]

14 hours ago, bull said:

.......there was a rooster sound from the gun when he pulled the trigger.

"I feel that I must defend the great British war machine" said Ratty's great grandpa, who was a General in the 1st War "As it was all quite logical, and the Rooster connection is why the act of loading a weapon was called "to Cock" it. We always found the terms those Americans used, like "locked and loaded" to be a little crass & overly descriptive of what is, after all, a fairly simple task."

[Captain]

8 hours ago, CT9000 said:

......Implement a policy of not shooting the ground staff who are only employees of the Darraweit Guim lead and brass mining company......    

..... and besides, the Mafia Burial Parties always shot back .......... hence the quantity of brass and lead which justified the existence of the DGL&BMC (It was the BMC part that had the sideline of restoring the Morry Minors that CT so often promotes in his posts).

 

Lord (+ his equivalent on earth, Turbo) knows that there is plenty of water to allow efficient lead and brass beneficiation, as supplied from the 5 convergent streams to power and recover the vast quantity of metals in the DGL&BMC process plant.

 

The Ground Staff at DG International were starting to enjoy dodging the shrapnel and were .....

 

 

Edited May 19, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

............just about to declare a victory when, staggering across the airstrip came ................

[Captain]

..... CT with his pea-rifle and a full platoon of his NES mates, led by bull in his backless hospital gown, which showed off what looks to have been a terrible injury & scar between his buttocks, and a  .....

Edited May 19, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

......trimmer OneTrack who’d been on the WA Pineapple diet; he was armed with a spar from Australia II. Cappy was limping......

[onetrack]

.....along, carrying a 1790's muzzle-loading flintlock (colloquially known as "Brown Bess") that had belonged to his Great Great Great Great Grandpa, Lt Josiah Cook, who was a famous veteran of the Anglo-Spanish War of 1796-1808.

 

Cappy had pulled this famous firearm down from the mantlepiece where it had been stored since the end of the Anglo-Spanish War - but unfortunately, thanks to Cappys careless handling of this fine piece of British weaponry, he'd dropped it on the big toe of his left foot.

 

This was the simple reason for Cappy's limp - it had nothing to do with CT's, DG warring activities against the rabbits, and it certainly wasn't as a result of an enraged rabbit attack, as Cappy was claiming it to be.

 

As the ragged group approached the Ground Staff of DG International, there was a commotion. Several of the Ground Staff had stopped the leaders of the group, and asked to sight their ASIC cards. There was suddenly some quick movement at the front of the group, and a..........

 

Edited May 19, 2023 by onetrack

[CT9000]

.....front man handed out a dozen or so photo copied ASIC cards which the poor pacific islander staff who could barely read seemed happy with ......

[Captain]

38 minutes ago, CT9000 said:

.....front man handed out a dozen or so photo copied ASIC cards which the poor pacific islander staff who could barely read seemed happy with ......

..... and said "These Anglos all look the same to me, eh Bro?"

 

"Yeah Cuz" his talkative mate said "And we need 40 more cards to make the set. Why are these guys are as white as ......

Edited May 20, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........your eyes Bro?"

"My eyes Yellow bro" said Cuz rather menacingly but Bros got the first punch in and laid Cuz out.

The raqgged group continued on until they came to a rabbit hide where ..........................

 

[CT9000]

.....it was decided that a quarter plug of jelly might be enough to blow a decent hole and stun a few bunnies so they are easier to shoot....

[onetrack]

.....and a few more big holes wouldn't make any difference to DG, as it was already regularly referred to as, "that great hole!"

 

Meantimes, brows became furrowed as CT mentioned "gelly". "Oh, good, I'm fond of jelly, especially with icecream", said Cappy.

 

"Not that kind of jelly, I'm talking about Gelly! - the stuff that goes BOOM!! "Where do you get gelly today?", said OT with a furrowed brow.

 

"They haven't made gelignite for 20 years, ever since ANFO took over in blasting". "Oh well", said CT, "we'll just use a bag of ANFO instead!"

 

"Isn't that getting a little radical, just to bump off a few bunnies?, said OT. "After, these are just furry little lovable creatures, adored by young children - and if it became widely known that you were a regular rabbit-murderer on a large scale, you could become.........

[turboplanner]

...............famous.  Turbo who had to sneak lollies when he was a kid went white.

"I thought those plugs were toffees!"  he said.

"How many did you eat?" asked CT

"Six" replied Turbo carefully walking to a chair, clutching the island bar as he walked. "I'll sit here until it all digests"

"Not in here you won't" replied CT "I'm not having my house blown up" and thoughtfully "We have an eco long drop toilet down the back of the garden you can use though"

Turbo thought about that long drop, and ...................

 

 

Edited May 21, 2023 by turboplanner

[Captain]

On 20/05/2023 at 8:55 PM, turboplanner said:

Turbo thought about that long drop, and ...........

...... the terrible, CT excreta based, putrid pollution that would occur in the 5 pristine streams if Tubb should get his calculations wrong.

 

"Perhaps I should just sacrifice myself instead of taking such environmental risks" said Turbo, then realizing that nobody had heard him, he adopted his usual attitude, and said "No, XXXX it, and the horse it rode in on, I'll just ....... 

Edited May 22, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......stop and do the calculation. And so, influenced by the academics, he dropped a plumb bob down the shaft and calcuated the drop, then using the density calculation that the scientists on Mount Mauna Loa use to show that there's nothing wrong with measuring CO2 content in the atmosphere  12,000 feet up the biggest volcano on earth, he calculated his chances over the long drop.

 

He was nearly right, the force of the blast lifted him 18.58 metres into the air and sent a spray, at first reported by BOM as a dust cloud, across the western suburbs of Melbourne.

 

The residents immediately found out it wasn't a dust cloud and blamed all the trucks using this part of Melbourne to deliver Kogan orders.

 

Chairman Dan shrugged his shoulders and said "What's different from normal? (this was safe Dan electorate).

 

Quaver had decided to go for his annual 1 hour flight in his pristine Thruster and had taken off just three minutes before the blast; the shower hit him just as ...........................

 

 

 

 

 

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[Captain]

47 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Quaver had decided to go for his annual 1 hour flight in his pristine Thruster and had taken off just three minutes before the blast; the shower hit him just as ..........

...... he was about the reduce throttle to that critical point where the Blue Heads are prone to either a cold seize or a hot seize (known by all Blue Head owners as a "who fxxx'n knows seize", which has been known to cause a seizure in older AUF folks if over tiger country).

 

So when the blast hit, he just assumed that he had locked it up again.

 

But then he smelt the occasionally well-known stench of DG, assumed that CT's doings had sent the treatment plant anaerobic again, however then he copped a load of ........

Edited May 22, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

......Cb and started to rotate like a mouse in a washing machine. He ................

[Captain]

33 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

......Cb and started to rotate like a mouse in a washing machine. He ................

thought to himself "Normally at the likes of Seaworld you'd have to pay a premium for the equivalent of a MIAWM ride, and here I am doing it for free, save that I am getting closer to the ground (avref) in a flat spin (avref), which is not good for a Thruster ............ so what was it they taught me last century at Turbine Flight(y) Schools? Is it ailerons 1st or rudder 1st and full power or no power (or seizure power).

 

"Of well" he thought "Time to make a decision and stick the ........

[turboplanner]

......thing down on a dime. Trouble was he had run out of dimes so he threw his gold credit card out but it was caught by the evil .....

[onetrack]

.......Emperor of Darraweit Guim, who goes by the handle of CT9000 in the NES. CT ran away with the credit card, chuckling his evil laugh, as he yelled, "I've got the ability now to decimate DG rabbits on a scale the world has never seen!".

 

With that, CT ran into the nearest firearms store, and waving the gold credit card, ordered enough weaponry to turn DG into another Bakhmut. "I'll show the world what I can do with unlimited firearms funding!" he cried, as he.........

[Captain]

3 hours ago, onetrack said:

With that, CT ran into the nearest firearms store, and waving the gold credit card, ordered enough weaponry to turn DG into another Bakhmut. "I'll show the world what I can do with unlimited firearms funding!" he cried, as he.........

...... became the biggest black-market firearms dealer this side of Karachi, and he adopted an Arabic accent just to make himself sound more enigmatic.

 

(He was in touch with Dept of Defence to supply arms to the ADF, in what is a repeat of the Khemlani scandal).

 

"Where are your womens" (which proves just what a CT he really is) was his stock-in-trade saying, and "Do you want to .......

Edited May 23, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........buy chip gun?"

He'd bought the weapons just at the time that our Prime Minister was flexing his muscles and walking the world stage mixing it with warriors like Joey Biden and Volodomir the Defiant, Albo aka Wakka Wakka, a "Noongar Man" decided that to bring in more votes he needed to find and enemy and if he did that the enemy might get him forst in a shootout. He saw CT's weapons ad on Tinder and made the call. "CT" he said "...........