The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

12 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Halfway back he realised he'd thrown the chops in the river................

 

..... however by following the 10 hour rule, he was fine, so went back & recovered them, brushed off the leaches (which would be prepared separately as an entree) and invited the other Btigadeirs around for a cook-up and a ......

[onetrack]

......few glasses of his unique homebrew, specially prepared for the occasion, by being filtered through several pairs of old aviator socks (avref), which gave the homebrew its piquant flavour, and one which the Brigadiers would not readily forget, once they tasted it.

 

This flavour, coupled with the Muddy Murrumbidgee Mutton Chop Confit - served as the main course, naturally - would exceed anything ever previously tasted by the Brigadiers in the Officers Mess, and would lead to the Brigadiers declaring.....

[Captain]

...... manky Murrumbidgee marinated chops (with leach puree) as the national dish of the ADF.

 

"They already are" said one if the Kapooka recruits who had signed up to the whistle-blower program. 

 

Then he (or she) added "The bush & town tucka supplied by Turbine Catering & Maggot Farmers Inc (TCAMFI) wriggles on the plate and is up the ......"

Edited May 27, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

"......creek as far is taste is concerned."

It should be pointed out that soldiers have been complaining about the food ever since Ghengis Khan fed his mongrels mongles mongoals raw camel on the run and .......................

[Captain]

54 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

"......creek as far is taste is concerned."

It should be pointed out that soldiers have been complaining about the food ever since Ghengis Khan fed his mongrels mongles mongoals raw camel on the run and .......................

..... King Arthur served the Knights witchety grubs (Voiceref) on a Lazy Susan on top of the Round Table. (Susan may have been lazy, but the Knights sure made her work for her keep that night (our Robin of Locksley still smiles about it fondly as he polishes his knob on the control stick of his beer can (avref)).

 

Turbo's above comment belittles the food gripes of the Kapooks, because it is his company that has now been proven to have refined the natural deterioration of lamb chops after a dunk in the Bidgee, and prior to serving.

 

While his Leech Puree has been patented and has possibilities for sale to the Masai, the TCAMFI is in deep commercial doo-doo, which reminds the Kapooks, again, of the taste of Tubb's lamb chops and they really don't ............

Edited May 27, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....want to go there, and there is nothing like a picky Kapook when she/he is digging hers/his high heels in, or ..................

[Captain]

15 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....want to go there, and there is nothing like a picky Kapook when she/he is digging hers/his high heels in, or ...........

..... digging a hole on which to perch, in order to get rid of/evacuate/expunge the TCAMFI food that was eaten an hour before (Many Kapooks ran a guessing competition on how long it would take, and how many Kapooks would be needed, for the hole to fill).

 

Turbo attended a meeting with the Kapooks (where all had to leave their weapons at the door to stop undue violence) and Turdy made 2 profound statements.

 

1 - "I can't leave mine at the door, as it is attached to me."
 

2 - "This food was ordered specifically, including a specified minimum number of maggots per square inch, by the Kapooka Land Council and they know a thing or two about ..........

Edited May 27, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

Grubs (respects to grubs past etc.)

However the Sergeant had done his homework and found that none of the Kapooka Land Council were descendants of the Wagga Wagga tribe and the grubs, belonging to the Wagga had to be returned to the bush.  This left the Kapooka short on meat so .........

[Captain]

38 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

This left the Kapooka short on meat so ........

....... there wasn't one slow Kangaroo or Echidna (warning, this paragraph contains a description of a couple of thousand animals that are deceased [respects and all that]) within 50 kms of Kapooka, plus all the Koalas, Dugongs and those cute little Prairie Rats (the ones that sell insurance with a Russian accent) all mysteriously disappeared from the Dubbo Zoo.

 

"Well, at least this meat is fresh" said the Kapooks' cookie, who loved just having to ........

Edited May 28, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....adapt to the portion sizes and seasoning methods.

The Kapooks had never been to war. There, someone had to say it.

This was primarily because whenever they'd been called to deploy, the locals would make sure it was sowing time, harvesting time, baling time, crutching time, shearing time, burning time, mowing time, etc which exempted them from service outside the Kapooka district under Section 23 (c) iii of the Defence Act 1952.

A brave person might say they all looked the same - obese, fat, ruddy faces, pudgy hands and straight sandy hair with short back and sides. Some might even say they all had the same father, but it was probably more diplomatic to say that the families mixed well, and if you droive into Kapooka you knew it was all of Lapooka vs you, so when the happy go lucky pilot OT crashed his Lightwing (borderline avref) into the front bar of the Kapooka Mess, and tried to pass himself off as Biggles ................................

[bull]

5 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....adapt to the portion sizes and seasoning methods.

The Kapooks had never been to war. There, someone had to say it.

This was primarily because whenever they'd been called to deploy, the locals would make sure it was sowing time, harvesting time, baling time, crutching time, shearing time, burning time, mowing time, etc which exempted them from service outside the Kapooka district under Section 23 (c) iii of the Defence Act 1952.

A brave person might say they all looked the same - obese, fat, ruddy faces, pudgy hands and straight sandy hair with short back and sides. Some might even say they all had the same father, but it was probably more diplomatic to say that the families mixed well, and if you droive into Kapooka you knew it was all of Lapooka vs you, so when the happy go lucky pilot OT crashed his Lightwing (borderline avref) into the front bar of the Kapooka Mess, and tried to pass himself off as Biggles ................................

.you could say that the shit completely hit the fan , and the uproar was only beaten by the sounds of turdo and mavis in the change room.  Bloody ell said Bull i'm out of here  [as he climbed into the jackoff that he dragged out of the shed he  fueled up and was gone.Now the expedite of other NES members had  grown from a trickle and was getting faster and faster as...............

[turboplanner]

....as the sprag clutches twanged and crunched and their machines moved off in all directions...............

[bull]

20 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....as the sprag clutches twanged and crunched and their machines moved off in all directions...............

.reminiscent of the time ultralights ruled before morphing into quasi general aviation aircraft [avref] and engine stoppage's where just seen as an inconvenience rather then an emergency and gliding landings where the norm ,power  or not. Yeah i hate when i see those spam cans dragging their arse under high revs over the threshold said the rat , they are always just 3 seconds away from death in that sort of landings! I also cringe watching the same thing said..............

 

[Captain]

6 hours ago, bull said:

Bloody ell said Bull i'm out of here  [as he climbed into the jackoff that he dragged out of the shed he  fueled up and was gone

............ although while heading directly away, he was still in sight 60 minutes later (jackoffref ......just say'n)

Edited May 28, 2023 by Captain

[Captain]

5 hours ago, bull said:

Yeah i hate when i see those spam cans dragging their arse under high revs over the threshold said the rat , they are always just 3 seconds away from death in that sort of landings! I also cringe watching the same thing said..........

...... because sprag clutches are highly dangerous and unnecessary additions to the aviation scene, when perfectly good direct drive engines are available.

 

"Did somebody say "shag crutches" asked Mavis, whose hearing has deteriorated since her time bouncing around with Turbo in the Kapooka pantry (really just a tin shed modelled after the "hotbox" in the Bridge on the River Kwai, in order to train the Kapooks on how to resist torture).

 

"Yes Mave" replied Onesie, who would always take advantage of any misunderstanding with a lady (mavisref) in order to get his ......

[turboplanner]

....wicked...........................

[Captain]

15 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....wicked...........................

.... wick ....

[turboplanner]

........wicket (AerialCricketRef) [Avref].

He was called out, then ....................

[Captain]

1 minute ago, turboplanner said:

........wicket (AerialCricketRef) [Avref].

He was called out, then ....................

..... snicko showed that .....

[turboplanner]

....he was a bad sport by ...................

[Captain]

6 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....he was a bad sport by ...................

..... retaining Turbine Sports Management, the Frivolous Claims Specialists, to take action that .....

Edited May 29, 2023 by Captain

[onetrack]

.....was deemed to be borderline vexatious litigation. "If Clive can sue Mark McGowan and the W.A. Govt for $30B for smacking his grubby fingers off another prized W.A. mining project - or sue the whole of Australia for $300B for exactly the same thing after he lost the first round to Mark! - then I can definitely launch this action that will make Clive look like an amateur lawyer, and when I win, as I surely will, then it will be...... 

[turboplanner]

.......snicko the derro. Not many people know that Mark has just resigned, not because he was worn out by OT's continual complaints about the roads, but as Mark KC to take on snicko and his effeminate mates that flew Austers and ..........................

 

[Captain]

14 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

and his effeminate mates that flew Austers and .........

..... had a man-bun and a man-bag (NTTIAWWT), then expected to .....

[turboplanner]

....be recognised by real fliers who...................