The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

16 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....be recognised by real fliers who...................

..... sat out in the breeze ahead of the blue-head, so man-buns became destroyed combovers and man-bags turned into .....

[turboplanner]

....propellor confetti, ......................................

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....propellor confetti, ......................................

.... which Turbine Wedding Accoutrements added to their rice and 2000 tonnes of punched telex tape & teleprinter .....

[turboplanner]

.......which when dropped from an aircraft over open paddocks made amazing designs which could only be seen from the air. This led to........

[Captain]

8 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......which when dropped from an aircraft over open paddocks made amazing designs which could only be seen from the air. This led to........

..... a massive increase in aerial tourism and Turbine Aircraft Corporation Inc ([very] TACI) captured the market by converting old Drifters, Thrusters & Jackoffs to be 6 seaters and to then ......

[turboplanner]

....try to get CASA to approve them for commercial use. There was general derision within the AUF Men's Shed groupbecaise everyone knew, and made their toughts known, that those CASA XXXXX would never do it, but they hadn't counted on ...............................

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....try to get CASA to approve them for commercial use. There was general derision within the AUF Men's Shed groupbecaise everyone knew, and made their toughts known, that those CASA XXXXX would never do it, but they hadn't counted on ...............................

.... the singleroot's (yes, he [or she {NTTIAWWT}] has only every had one) influence with The Minister.

 

"She wants me to take over CASA, the NTSB, AOPA, the SSAA, The Aussie AeroModellers, the Aussie Space Agency (I will be the Elon Musk of a small leech infested clearing on Cape York), the AUF + Wreck Flying and roll them all into one super-department that should make it possible to fly Drifters/Thrusters/Jackoffs (they all look the same to me, anyway) all over OZ, unrestricted and up to FL 45." said Onesie in a prepared statement."Cathy King is a cracker of a person, and because her Ministerial duties cover Infrastructure, Transport, Regional Development and Local Government, she has flicked the Infrastructure bit (whatever that long word means) to bull, Turdboy's political experience & twisted personality makes him ideal to give the Councils a bloody nose & bring those little twerps back into line, I will be the boss cocky of Transport, and who cares about Regional Development, as all that matters in politics are the cities where all the tree-huggers & Voice supporters live."

 

Cath fell over herself to endorse all that Onenooky had to say, and she added ".........

Edited May 30, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........"In this way we will have a sustainable industry with non-racist zero emissions." When Turbo helpfully pointed out that there would be thousands of smoking ceremonies, Cathie banned them on the spot. "I said ZERO emissions and I meant ZERO emissions" he said. The crowd roared with appreciation and ........

[Captain]

49 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

........"In this way we will have a sustainable industry with non-racist zero emissions." When Turbo helpfully pointed out that there would be thousands of smoking ceremonies, Cathie banned them on the spot. "I said ZERO emissions and I meant ZERO emissions" he said. The crowd roared with appreciation and ........

...... then Cath said "Hey Tubb, you look a bit whiter and blokier that my Daprtment Heads are allowed to be. Can you head down to St Kilda to get yourself an all-over tan, then dye those magnificent flowing blonde locks & put them up in a bun? And the Singletrack doesn't look quite dusky enough either, although being from the West he will certainly have the requisite amount of outback sand in his crack. But this bull fellow is a major worry, as he ........

Edited May 30, 2023 by Captain

[CT9000]

.....then fell silent as it was pointed out rhat the smoking was going to be holes in the ground at the runway end fence. Even the more powerful blue head drifters would not lift off with six bums on board......

[turboplanner]

......so Turbine Rear End Repairs Inc. invented a bum removal tool, and hundreds of Blue Headed Drifters rose up as one .....................

 

 

 

[bull]

On 28/05/2023 at 10:58 PM, Captain said:

............ although while heading directly away, he was still in sight 60 minutes later (jackoffref ......just say'n)

Yeah but she cheap to run ,lol

 

[bull]

On 31/05/2023 at 6:29 AM, Captain said:

.... the singleroot's (yes, he [or she {NTTIAWWT}] has only every had one) influence with The Minister.

 

"She wants me to take over CASA, the NTSB, AOPA, the SSAA, The Aussie AeroModellers, the Aussie Space Agency (I will be the Elon Musk of a small leech infested clearing on Cape York), the AUF + Wreck Flying and roll them all into one super-department that should make it possible to fly Drifters/Thrusters/Jackoffs (they all look the same to me, anyway) all over OZ, unrestricted and up to FL 45." said Onesie in a prepared statement."Cathy King is a cracker of a person, and because her Ministerial duties cover Infrastructure, Transport, Regional Development and Local Government, she has flicked the Infrastructure bit (whatever that long word means) to bull, Turdboy's political experience & twisted personality makes him ideal to give the Councils a bloody nose & bring those little twerps back into line, I will be the boss cocky of Transport, and who cares about Regional Development, as all that matters in politics are the cities where all the tree-huggers & Voice supporters live."

 

Cath fell over herself to endorse all that Onenooky had to say, and she added ".........

.that the massive effort taken by Bull after becoming infrastructure minister, with now new "ultralights only areas at Mascot and Tullamarine and all major airports around Australia. Now the next task was the implementation of the 2 hour rule ,meaning that there MUST be an airport suitable for ultralights for refueling and sanitary purposes funded by the federal government.[this rule is after complaints from residents of the urine coating of their roofs]  Mavis nearly fell arse over tit after seeing Turdboy al dressed out in a suit and manicured nails and hair ,Now this upset the rat a bit as he was thinking he would be in charge of all things to do with aviation[transport] which is technically right so Bull ..................

[onetrack]

....promptly gave the Rat the position of Under-Secretary to the Minister, which the Rat thought was a fabulous position and title - but he soon found out the job just actually meant getting copies of reams of documents to Bull , so he could sign them.

 

The problem then was, Bull wasn't sure what he was signing on a number of occasions, and as the Rat had got one grade higher in school than Bull before being expelled (a point which regularly annoyed Bull, as he thought he shouldn't have been put down a grade in that year when the Rat jumped ahead in school promotions), so it was often up to Ratty to explain to Bull what those big words in the document meant, such as............

[Captain]

10 hours ago, onetrack said:

....promptly gave the Rat the position of Under-Secretary to the Minister, which the Rat thought was a fabulous position and title - but he soon found out the job just actually meant getting copies of reams of documents to Bull , so he could sign them.

 

The problem then was, Bull wasn't sure what he was signing on a number of occasions, and as the Rat had got one grade higher in school than Bull before being expelled (a point which regularly annoyed Bull, as he thought he shouldn't have been put down a grade in that year when the Rat jumped ahead in school promotions), so it was often up to Ratty to explain to Bull what those big words in the document meant, such as............

....... all the fancy highfalutin ones where Capital Letters were used.

 

But Ratty was a true mate to bull, Turdboy, Onesie and even that CT from DG, so Ratty (ever the shrinking violet) suppressed his considerable ego and pledged to serve his friends in their elevated positions (he also pledged himself to being Under-Secretary [or Under-the-Table) with Chrissy if she was interested.

 

Having such friends in high places also meant that Cappy could do a Joe Biden and collect brown paper envelopes by the thousands, because every supplier from paperclips to the High-Speed-Rail (or high speed rail as bull describes it) had to pay for access (+ for lunch) and a 25% loading on all tenders. (bull, Turdy and Onesie knew about this and once the lurk comes to a conclusion, there would be a divi-up between them all at the 2032 annual Nullarbor Fly-In.

 

Cappy started to organise the Nullarbor Fly-In by positioned fuel drums each 10 kms so that bull could make it there in the 6-seater Jackoff, as he would be flying into the notorious Nullarbor headwind and that would surely give him the ...........

Edited June 1, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....disadvantage of getting there last after the spoils had been divided.

At the previous (Wagga Wagga) Fly-In, Under-Secretary Bull had landed only to find the spoils had already been divided, and all he got was a ten dollar bill.

So he left the day before, appinted himself Chair (it didn't take long to learn the Canberra tricks), gave each of the other attendees $10.00 and kept several million for himself.

When Cappy arrived.......................

[Captain]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

When Cappy arrived............

....... bull was pretty pleased with himself, and said f*#^ the jackoff I have just ordered a Cirrus and not just the poxy piston engined one either, i have gone all the way with bull eh (qld&bonelingoref) and ordered a jet.

 

"But didn't we all agree to maintain a low profile while the scams were at foot?" asked the Rodent, trying to encourage bull to recall important stuff, where said recall had become an issue after the ecstasy provided by the coffee lady at the hospital (the doctors said that there was apparently a considerable period of time where all bull's blood was needed well away from the brain), yet bull doesn't miss a trick as he even claimed additional medical benefits to treat the chafing.

 

whats a low profile responded bull who had always ..........

Edited June 1, 2023 by Captain

[onetrack]

.....thought "profile" was all to do with presenting his face at the best angle to the paparazzi, to avoid showing the facial scarring he'd incurred, when he........

[bull]

36 minutes ago, onetrack said:

.....thought "profile" was all to do with presenting his face at the best angle to the paparazzi, to avoid showing the facial scarring he'd incurred, when he........

......stuck his head into the back of his mates ute ,and his mate,s rotty thought that idea was fucked and acted accordingly hence the scars....Now........................

Edited June 2, 2023 by bull

[turboplanner]

......he was somewhat one-sided, just as OT was always on the same track, and they were commiserating with each other when out from the bushes stepped a figure with a clipboard and sdaid "Hi, I'm Shaun from CASA; just doing a ramp check on this six seater Drifter, then shortly after; "This Drifter doesn't seem to be registered" and bull replied "No one else registered theirs so I stopped too." and went on talking to OT who had started to carefully back away. "How may seats does this Drifter have?" asked Shaun, and bull, seeing trouble ahead said "Two". What are these then?" asked Shaun, and bull....................

[Captain]

8 hours ago, turboplanner said:

"This Drifter doesn't seem to be registered" and bull replied "No one else registered theirs so I stopped too." and went on talking to OT who had started to carefully back away. "How may seats does this Drifter have?" asked Shaun, and bull, seeing trouble ahead said "Two". What are these then?" asked Shaun, and bull.................

........ replied that those a free seats for casa staff

 

"What?" said Shaun, (with fill punctuation) "If it's free, then I want some of that."

 

yes replied bull i use those seats to take casa people for sightseeing trips out over bass strait or south over the peninsulaire fleurieure (note bull's heritage Francaise as he pronounces the lingo just right) but they dont usually come a second time as i speak to them about weight and balance so they go crook at me which leaves me no alternative other than to tip them out to get back into compliance

 

"Oh crap" said Shaun, as he did, then added "And aren't you the great Infrastructure Czar, and coffee lover + international lover (Valentino style, and other styles) the Honourable Mr. Bull esq?"

 

yes i am mate replied bull and he ..........

Edited June 2, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....patted shaun patronisingly on the head. "got any jobs going?" asked shaun, and bull decided to start a budget airline based on 6 seater Drifters, with self-serve coffee and ....................

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....patted shaun patronisingly on the head. "got any jobs going?" asked shaun, and bull decided to start a budget airline based on 6 seater Drifters, with self-serve coffee and ....................

..... the coffee lady as head hostie, until that fateful day when ......

[turboplanner]

....four US tourists booke a trip to Mount Wellington and the Hostie was over-weig

[bull]

9 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....four US tourists booke a trip to Mount Wellington and the Hostie was over-weig

....overweighing the passengers luggage and the flight was substantially below estimate all up weight ,so was now performing beyond...........