The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

 

 

[turboplanner]

[Turbo apologises for the post above; he's always been suspicious that his AI keyboard sometime make posts on its own, and the above post was one of them, destined to go on forever like the Cuckoo clock in Geneva, telling everyone how long a go it posted but with that invisible wordiing. All Turbo did was notice some dust and half eaten food in the keys and lifted the keyboard up and dumped it on the desk.]

 

Back to the ongoing flow of the NES:

 

...even the Cirrus SR22, and that's got a USB port in the dash.

 

...even the Cirrus SR22, and that's got a USB port in the dash.

 

[Don't tell anyone but it's done it again]

 

There was no denying the performance of thes six seat Drifters, but no one could work out how they were doing it until .......................

 

[bull]

4 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

[Turbo apologises for the post above; he's always been suspicious that his AI keyboard sometime make posts on its own, and the above post was one of them, destined to go on forever like the Cuckoo clock in Geneva, telling everyone how long a go it posted but with that invisible wordiing. All Turbo did was notice some dust and half eaten food in the keys and lifted the keyboard up and dumped it on the desk.]

 

Back to the ongoing flow of the NES:

 

...even the Cirrus SR22, and that's got a USB port in the dash.

 

...even the Cirrus SR22, and that's got a USB port in the dash.

 

[Don't tell anyone but it's done it again]

 

There was no denying the performance of thes six seat Drifters, but no one could work out how they were doing it until .......................

 

.........one was captured from the russians and found to be using...........

[Captain]

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

[Turbo apologises for the post above; he's always been suspicious that his AI keyboard sometime make posts on its own, and the above post was one of them, destined to go on forever like the Cuckoo clock in Geneva, telling everyone how long a go it posted but with that invisible wordiing. All Turbo did was notice some dust and half eaten food in the keys and lifted the keyboard up and dumped it on the desk.]

DEAR NESers ......... Just a tip. Cappy studied secret writing & spying practices at primary school and knows all about what to use to have the letters show up ......... however Cappy assures our thousands of readers that lemon juice or milk do not work on the screens (or keyboards) of Lenovo laptops, nor does a little bit of flame to heat the invisible writing.

 

PS ......... Crappy also notices that Turbo's posts have become much more perceptive, considered, deep, friendly and less twisted, since he commenced using AI for all of his NES contributions. Overall, a much-improved experience for all of us, so thanks Elon, Bill and Dr. Google.

Edited June 3, 2023 by Captain

[Captain]

4 hours ago, bull said:

.........one was captured from the russians and found to be using...........

.... a new 2-stroke oil to boost the power of the BlueHead, but with some decrease in reliability and TBO hours (now minutes, actually), and new wing coverings made from a Virgin's ...........

[turboplanner]

aileron (thanks to Richard Branson and his helpful staff).

This explains why Russian drones were crashing on to non-targets like the Kremlin and ......................

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

aileron (thanks to Richard Branson and his helpful staff).

This explains why Russian drones were crashing on to non-targets like the Kremlin and ......................

.... taking delight in competing with Qantas and dethroning the leprechaun, while going broke once or twice in the meantime.

 

However, Bull's airline was not in this category and within months rivalled Ansett, with regional flights their specialty. Passengers loved the sightseeing from the lower levels and had plenty of time to see the sights.

 

One flight got close to maximum endurance when it took 6 hours from Moorabbin to Devenport, and as a result, Bull decided to fit additional external wing tanks, which added endurance but further reduced ...........

[turboplanner]

.....the weight.

The six seat Drifters became even more unstable, but Group Captain Bull as he was promoted on TV with a red-striped suit and cane and smoking  cabana, sold it as extra excitement.

One day abeam Flinders Island..........

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

.....the weight.

The six seat Drifters became even more unstable, but Group Captain Bull as he was promoted on TV with a red-striped suit and cane and smoking  cabana, sold it as extra excitement.

One day abeam Flinders Island..........

..... bull tapped the fuel gauge, looked at the temperature thingy and said those fateful words that no passenger really wants to hear.

 

hey uze said bull tighten your seatbelts and watch this as he .........

Edited June 4, 2023 by Captain

[onetrack]

.....threw the Drifter into a stomach-churning, rapid, spinning descent, to get to that only piece of suitable-looking forced landing area that bull could spot - but as he got closer, with the screams of the pax in his ears, bull was mortified to suddenly realise, that that piece of smooth-looking terrain was nothing more than...........,.

[turboplanner]

.... an old derelict semi trailer, dumped in a swamp after the last hay season.

He'd always dreaned of being a Carrier pilot, so he squinted his eyes, tolf everyone to be quiet, and helf the Drifter in a tight side-slip. He not only landed it right at the front of the deck, but used the side slip to augment the brakes and managed to stop before the end. bull's photo appeared in the Mercury the next day; the evening news recorded Albo congratulating him for saving his passengers; Albo said "..............

[onetrack]

......never in the history of flight has one man done so much to save so many lives - and in the worst of weather conditions as well! - as we all well know, what the weather is like in that wind-blown, God-forsaken hole (only a little less wind-blown and God-forsaken than Tassie, Albo muttered under his breath) - and to mark this occasion, I have arranged to have a special award instigated and a special aviation medal stamped, with your aircraft and face taking pride of place on the obverse and reverse, and this medal will be known far and wide as the..........

[turboplanner]

......Semi Trailer Comrades Landing Medal." On the front was the face of Albo; on the obverse was a Mutton Bird.

The passengers had understandably left the Island on more conventional means.

bull stripped everything out of the Drifter to save weight, and posted his medal back to Tasmania. He even stripped off his clothes right down to the boots, and waited for the wind, which came up to gale force every morning and only died away at sunset. He thoroughly warmed up the Bluehead, which consisted of half a dozen WOTs, then back-tracking, like all Drifter pilots do he turned at the downwind end of the semi and gave it WOT until there was nothing on the tacho but the maker's name.

The Drifter lifted off the semi ...........................

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

The Drifter lifted off the semi ..........

....... and bull was enjoying himself so much that he had one too.

 

The Drifter did a .....

[turboplanner]

......nosedive as the Blue Head seized and.......

 

[NES NEWS! President Biden has just messaged bull with a wings emoji, congratulating him for the landing and inviting him to the White House to be awarded the Jimmy Doolittle Medal. The President said “Jimmy sends his regards!”

Not many people know that Jimmy got his name from doing very little in the war until Ike Eisenhower and he were in the Mess late one night and Ike said “bet you couldn’t fly a B25B off a carrier, bomb the crap out of Tokyo, and bail out over China.” And he did.]

[onetrack]

However, bull was too busy trying to find a spot to land the Drifter again, with the seized Blue Head, to see the message from Joe. This time, he was going to have to do a Sully, and land it in the water.

But with bull's superb skills and a dose of even larger luck, he spotted a Whale Cruise boat within gliding reach. The deck of that Cruise boat looked like a 3000 metre sealed runway after the semi-trailer deck landing!

He aimed the stricken Drifter down on a near perfect glideslope, but as he got within 1000 feet of the Cruise boat - it did a sharp 90 degree turn, and bull panicked! It was going to be too hard to realign with the deck! - it looked like......

 

Edited June 5, 2023 by onetrack

[turboplanner]

....he was goig for a swim when her remembered his flying training at the Turbine Flying Institute where he was taught that ground loops were your friend he came in side on to the ship and pulled a ground loop.

 

With screeching tyres the Drifter side across the roof and would have gone into the pool but the Captain swerved onto his original course; he had been avoiding a whale. The aircraft stopped with one main on the roof and the other caught in a fake palm tree over the pool. Not daring to move, bull looked down to see a well known NES character stretched out on a reclining deck chair, a daquiri in his hand, the other hand just out of sight in the vicinity of the adkoining deck chair as he entertained to passengers with tales of the Khyber Pass.

 

bull.........

[Captain]

8 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Not daring to move, bull looked down to see a well known NES character stretched out on a reclining deck chair, a daquiri in his hand, the other hand just out of sight in the vicinity of the adkoining deck chair as he entertained to passengers with tales of the Khyber Pass.

 

bull.........

......... said g'day turdy fancy seeing you here and how about giving me a hand out of this teetering flying machine

 

Turbo was enjoying being the centre of attention around the pool and ignored poor bull, who continued on. hey turdy did you see that oneroute said i brought her down on a near perfectly executed glide slope and bearing in mind the fact that this means vertical i did pretty good eh

 

The Turdster looked down his considerable nose at bull and said ".............

Edited June 5, 2023 by Captain

[onetrack]

You've just interrupted a great story to the best audience I've ever held in thrall (isn't that a great word? - and bull was immediately stumped, because "thrall" wasn't a word he even knew existed, let alone knowing the meaning of it) - and you've just stuffed it all up, by your exceptionally untidy arrival, with your landing looking like your Drifter fell out of a DC-3 from 10,000 feet, without a parachute!"

 

bull was appalled. He knew he'd upset Turbo, but he couldn't figure out why, and why he was so annoyed. Then suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, he spotted the reason - it was nothing less than........

[Captain]

17 minutes ago, onetrack said:

You've just interrupted a great story to the best audience I've ever held in thrall (isn't that a great word? - and bull was immediately stumped, because "thrall" wasn't a word he even knew existed, let alone knowing the meaning of it) - and you've just stuffed it all up, by your exceptionally untidy arrival, with your landing looking like your Drifter fell out of a DC-3 from 10,000 feet, without a parachute!"

 

bull was appalled. He knew he'd upset Turbo, but he couldn't figure out why, and why he was so annoyed. Then suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, he spotted the reason - it was nothing less than........

......... Madge (or madge to bull) who apparently has been bouncing (PIOref) off Turbo for the past several years.

 

"You might be teetering, but Madge has a pretty good set too" said Turbo with his usual wicked grin.

 

In typical Wreck Flying and other aviation circles, bull's licence is at risk and here we have Onesie saying that his glide slope was A1 and Turdy declaring his arrival rather untidy, although we all know that Turbs attention would have been diverted while he leered at ..............

[turboplanner]

.....the movie star sitting beside him. We can't tell you her name because she was traveling incognito; at least that was the label on all her 27 bags.

 

Cappy had narrowly escaped being in the story by playing the petty officer, and he certainly could be petty, but had succeeded in getting the attention back on bull, who decided to use the tennis court and take off for more professional climates, so bull started a chicken dance and conga line, and the passengers were silly enough to start waving their elbows pretending to be chickens and marched obediently up to the Drifter then carried it to the tennis court. There was a 30 minute debate among the passengers about whether to remove the net and finally sense prevailed and it was gone. NES readers who have an astute knowledge of aviation engineering will know that even for an overfuelled Drifter and a shrunken pilot a tennis court was not long enough. An aircraft carrier type winch was required and the resourceful bull called for bras. Out from underneath the jumpers of the matrons flew 148 of these apparati  and bull soon had them knotted and tied to the tennis net posts. He moved the conga line to the end of the tennis court, tied a rope to the bra line, the passengers chicken danced back until there was substantial tension (not many people know the bra was engineered by Howard Hughes to withstand the considerable forces applied by ham-fisted would-be partners like Captain Cook VIII) on the bra line which was then applied to the tail of the Drifter after bull applied the brakes. With a wave, bull was off, doing that clever nose down at the sea right turn that carrier pilots love to do, but ..............................

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

With a wave, bull was off, doing that clever nose down at the sea right turn that carrier pilots love to do, but ........

..... the wave was bigger than bull thought and ......

[turboplanner]

...........had come from behind the ship which indicated he had taken off with a tail wind and the Captain was taking advantage of the strong wind to save fuel so was "riding the waves" as they say in the marine brotherhood. bull cursed "XXXX!!!!!". How could he have forgotten the basic rule of takeoff? Remembering the last rash WOT which caused a seizure he cautiously opened the throttle, but as fast as he was climbing, so was the wave and..........

[Captain]

33 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

could he have forgotten the basic rule of takeoff? Remembering the last rash WOT which caused a seizure he cautiously opened the throttle, but as fast as he was climbing, so was the wave and........

.... bull cried out xxxx off, heuy, for i am the great bull the czar of infrastructure and if you persist with your rough wetliness there will be serious

....

Edited June 6, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......sequences. Bull gave Cappy a look .......