The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

1 minute ago, turboplanner said:

.......breed of people who didn't fly and couldn't ................

..... contribute meaningfully to the NES, or to society generally, because they ......

[turboplanner]

....voted for Ben Chifley, expected other people to do their shoelaces up, and had never taken flying lessons.

CT, with an International Airport on his doorstep, albeit with a rather bumpy apron devided to rectify this and was successful in getting a grant to teach people how to fly at a very attractive cut rate. CT cut the course time to elminate pesky NAV and MET and advertised his course on social media. Five thousand people applied and paid up front. CT was in the position to retire to the Gold Coast, but did his duty training millenials and Zs on stick forward plane down and stick back plane up, and the students graduated and started contributed to social media with stories of their travels from Y this and Y that. No one knew where they were going and ....................

[Captain]

...... this added interest factor meant that .......

[turboplanner]

.........more people enrolled in his course and he had to employ some of his graduates as instructors. CT became the biggest buyer of Recreational Aircraft on Australia and was being wined and dined in places like Slovakstanover, Rimsrytover and Landrover and his slogan "be a CT and get your wings!" was attached to all the Z generation electric scooters in Melbourne and before long ................

[bull]

13 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.........more people enrolled in his course and he had to employ some of his graduates as instructors. CT became the biggest buyer of Recreational Aircraft on Australia and was being wined and dined in places like Slovakstanover, Rimsrytover and Landrover and his slogan "be a CT and get your wings!" was attached to all the Z generation electric scooters in Melbourne and before long ................

........the front page yelled    "Flight "instructor " was never qualified to fly an aircraft with more then two seats and had been cheating the system for years!,   Now turd boy and the rat started looking for dark places to go and .....................

Edited June 20, 2023 by bull

[turboplanner]

....decided to check on the reports of a rich lithium deposit in the mountains of Timbifaru in Senegal, West Africa.  It didn't take too long to get there with two consumately skilled pilots each pointing out the other's mistakes as that went.

 

They made a precarious landing on a high altitude goat track, and began to look for lithium.

 

They'd only gone a short distance when they saw smoke signals rising all round them and heard the beat of Tom Toms, heralding dinner.

 

They looked at each other ..................... 

 

 

The Timbifaru ranges in Semegal; Mount Lithium on the left, smoking.

Edited June 20, 2023 by turboplanner

[Captain]

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

They looked at each other .............

...... and because they were both very attractive specimens, it was impossible to work out who would be dinner and which would end up with the Chief's wife or daughter.

 

Cappy, ever the caring and sharing diplomat, decided to propose that .......

[turboplanner]

.........Turbo have the horse doovers...............

[Captain]

45 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.........Turbo have the horse doovers...............

...... but the Chief had a better idea, that Turbo BE the horse's doovers.

 

However Cappy sprang into action to defend his best mate.

 

"I suggest that you allow Turbo to live, as he is a good mate of mine, Chief me old pal ....................... so just slice little bits off him so that he can still ......

 

Edited June 21, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....be delicious eating.

Cappy didn’t realise Turbo was listening. This wasn’t the first time Cappy had pulled this stunt. In the Punjab, they were being chased by a man eating tiger, and Cappy had pulled the old “I don’t have to outrun the tiger; I just have to outrun you”,and tripped him up. Turbo befriended the tiger and kept it around the camp. He shot the big mountain rams for “Claws” and trained him to growl and scratch Cappy every day. Cappy never again ......

[Captain]

...... doubted that Turbo was the original "Tiger Whisperer", so signed him up to do a series of shows in Vegas, DaNang, Kamchutka and to then entertain the troops in Kiev (both sides, no less) because .....

[Captain]

4 hours ago, Captain said:

entertain the troops in Kiev (both sides, no less)

Further Explaination - Volodymyr Zelenskyy, his hot wife and the bloke that paid off Hunter Biden are mates of Turbo's from his time studying world politics at Harvard just before he was the architect of the European Union (and the Moorabbin Opera House). But Turbo is also a close mate of Vladimir Putin from when Turbo trained the KGB in umbrella based nuclear poisoning, so Turbo is in a unique Henry Kissinger type position to sort out all of this s@&* and put the Balkans to bed once and for all. We are lucky that he gives a few minutes of his busy day to us & our thousands of readers in the NES. 

Edited June 21, 2023 by Captain

[bull]

18 hours ago, Captain said:

entertain the troops in Kiev (both sides, no less)

But this paled compared to the news that Turbine industries had been secretly funding the build of the Titennuts submarine that is missing . The whole crowd all crowded around the one old Rank Arena colour telly and watched Turdy ...............

Edited June 22, 2023 by bull

[onetrack]

....play with his joystick (on his game controller, of course), while Turbo gave a running commentary on the images on the screen, which led to one little old lady asking.........

[Captain]

..... "He's hot, so is he already taken?", to which the crowd replied .....

[turboplanner]

......"GO GERTRUDE GO" and Gertrude started to giggle but she couldn't remember what for.

Then someone hit the old Rank Arena with a telephone book, one of the most reliable hacks before self-diagnostics and the picture came sharply into focus showing Turbo actually showing the natives of Southern India how to catch fish with the Turbine Rod (25 Rupees, TurbineRodFish.com) to avoid the hunger always present on the subcontinent.

The image then blacked out except for a Red Cross badge and in the background a director could be heard saying, "stand back a little Priscilla" and the red cross seemed to be standing on two big mountains. The director was hear to say "a little further back" and Priscilla from the Red Cross came into view, gushing with support for this very kind initiative from Turbo, who immediatelt threw free hooks in with whis rod deal and .....................

 

[Captain]

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

The director was hear to say "a little further back" and Priscilla from the Red Cross came into view, gushing with support for this very kind initiative from Turbo, who immediatelt threw free hooks in with whis rod deal and .............

..... as Turbo has so often wisely said "Teach a man (or woman NTTIAWWT) to fish ........... and there will be fish scales all over the joint forever and a day until they circum to ciguatera or mercury poising, or until .......

Edited June 23, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.........fishing is prohibited in that area.

He had never seen any mercury poising, although he had seen some wife swapping going on with one of the husbands dressed as the god mercury with fig leaves and covered in coloured makeup grease, and didn't think it would be very comfortable or ........................

[Captain]

On 23/06/2023 at 6:37 AM, turboplanner said:

.........fishing is prohibited in that area.

He had never seen any mercury poising, although he had seen some wife swapping going on with one of the husbands dressed as the god mercury with fig leaves and covered in coloured makeup grease, and didn't think it would be very comfortable or ........................

..... appropriate to mention in the NES.

 

" Speaking about wife swapping, my wife swapped me for falcon ute last year" said .......

[turboplanner]

.........bull. "It was also ........................"

[Captain]

36 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.........bull. "It was also ........................"

..... a good deal, as Brocky had autographed the dash, so she's on a winner as it is certainly worth more than me."

 

Turbo thought about trying to boost bulls shattered confidence level but then, as usual, thought "No stuff it" and said "But Brocky was a Holden man. That must be a fake (done by Clarry Brock, the well known scammer) as to be genuine & collectable, it should have been done by Alan Moffat or myself during my Ford years."

 

 bull ŵas very disappointed that he had been swapped for a straight (NTTIAWWT) six, 3 speed column change rust-bucket, so went down to his new squeeze, the hospital coffee lady, who said that she wouldn't even swap bull for a ......

Edited June 25, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......Commodore with a roll bar and sound (and she had been in a few of those in her time)

bull was just starting to feel whole again when.........................

[Captain]

1 minute ago, turboplanner said:

.......Commodore with a roll bar and sound (and she had been in a few of those in her time)

bull was just starting to feel whole again when.........................

..... one of the Bone ladies offered to take bull as her sex slave for a case of mangoes (the poxy tasteless R2D2 types & not even Bowens) and 3 collector paddle pop sticks.

 

bull was mortified ....... until he realised that she had big .....

[turboplanner]

..........land holdings out west.

bull had always imagined himself as a western cattleman, swaggering into the coast in his Bentley Speed Convertible.

As much as he like messing around in rag and tube, he could probably afford a Cessna Caravan or.................

Bentley Speed Convertible.

 

[Captain]

37 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

..........land holdings out west.

bull had always imagined himself as a western cattleman, swaggering into the coast in his Bentley Speed Convertible.

As much as he like messing around in rag and tube, he could probably afford a Cessna Caravan or.................

Bentley Speed Convertible.

 

.... even a Jayco with a gigantic double bed that .....