The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

48 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

"......change back to rain dance and grow it all again."

Charlie, who was 11 years od said "Bull............................"

.... is a great Elder (well, he is as old as dirt anyway), and he can remember when this was last tried on, at ....

[turboplanner]

........the Deni Ute Muster in 1983. It started out hot, dry and dusty so someone came over and picked up old Brumby who charged two flagons of sherry, up front. It was a long trip, but once Charlie got up on the stage they could stop him; he shouted, he sang, he lectured them, he strutted the stage like Rod Stewart, and the sky became overcast and it poured down. The dust became mud and that year 2,352 utes had to be pulled out by the wheat cockies who brought their 4WD tractors in from miles around.

 

Brumby, who by now was really getting into the swing started a boot scooting line while everyone waited to get their ute pulled out, and then .................

[Captain]

13 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Brumby, who by now was really getting into the swing started a boot scooting line while everyone waited to get their ute pulled out, and then .....

..... the boots & the scooters and the chalk that made the line, were all knocked off by some kids who had done their shop lifting and car stealing training in Townsville before graduating to the mean streets of Deni.

 

There was a rather weak attempt to control the thefts by the Deni community, however they were soon told that it was actually all their fault and that white privilage was to blame for all ills.

 

"Once we get reparatations and a treaty and take all the white-fella cash, then you really gunna see Australia go ahead in leaps and bounds, just like that old man rainbow kangaroo over there, that ......

[turboplanner]

"....sleeps all day and eats free tucker; you can't do that in India, can you."  Thirty five others sitting around him in the Deni park, built by the Lions and maintaine by Rotary. 

Out at the Royal Deniliquin Aviation Dining Room (Members Only) the conversation turned to ......................

[Captain]

8 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

"....sleeps all day and eats free tucker; you can't do that in India, can you."  Thirty five others sitting around him in the Deni park, built by the Lions and maintaine by Rotary. 

Out at the Royal Deniliquin Aviation Dining Room (Members Only) the conversation turned to ......................

.... whether women should be allowed inside the airport boundary or be required to continue to stay north of Saleyards Rd.

 

The vote was close, when ....

Edited July 11, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

Gordon Chatter, who many said was an old woman anyway suggested it might be time to let them in but just for flights in the circuit area "so we can keep an eye on them".

This seemed fair and a lot went for their coffees; it seemed like they were about to make a hard decision when.................

[Captain]

8 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Gordon Chatter, who many said was an old woman anyway suggested it might be time to let them in but just for flights in the circuit area "so we can keep an eye on them".

This seemed fair and a lot went for their coffees; it seemed like they were about to make a hard decision when.................

..... one of the crusty old (Turboref) founding Members made the statement that would live on infamy "We don't need no stink'n sheilas in this here club and further, I reckon that .....

[turboplanner]

".....we should also ban them from the RSL Club."

"You do realise that women now serve in the forces on active duty" said ex-Captain Wolf who flies an RV-7.

"That would cause .................."

 

[Captain]

On 11/07/2023 at 5:41 PM, turboplanner said:

".....we should also ban them from the RSL Club."

"You do realise that women now serve in the forces on active duty" said ex-Captain Wolf who flies an RV-7.

"That would cause .................."

 

..... 2 separate dunnys to be dug in every trench, plus .....

[turboplanner]

".......plus" and ex 55th Corporal Nugget Smythe Jones whose understanding of females was that they should be up the other end of the hall at the Hall functions, or out in the Hall kitchen getting supper ready.

Nugget was quickly silenced by Sergeant Jacquie Howse who gave him a squirrel grip he never forgot for the rest of his life. Those who heard the ex-Corporal's screams that day never forgot them, and from that day a healthy quota of females passed up the chain to become proficient pilots who didn't whinge about CASA, knew their regs and actually checked the aircraft they flew except...............

 

[Captain]

..... that each wanted their aircraft to be distinctive and several squadrons of pink F-35s and Raptors looks a bit over the top when dog-fighting (now called cat-fighting) with a couple of hundred pink MIGs & Sukoys.

 

The other result was that war became very regimented, as once all of the female cycles coordinated, the war needed to be called off for a week every 4 weeks, not because the ladies needed to lie down & rest, but rather that during that week they almost always failed to obey the Geneva Convention and instead they would rip the heads off anybody, male or female, that showed themselves.

 

Cappy, in his capacity as a QC, now KC, has often given legal and precedent advice to the Allies since WW2, and in a recent report he advised ....... "The next lot of Nuremberg Trials are going to be very nasty & Milosovic will look like a choirboy, because all the ladies will ......

Edited July 13, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....be going after Cappy for touching inappropriately. Cappy responded with an accusation that Turbo should be brought to justice too, but there were no complaints, all said he only ever touched them appropriately.

Next, they got into the Instructors for inappropriate language and soon it was common for an instructor whose student had just stalled it on base to yell "GOLLY!".

The changes spread to the LAMEs who were known for .............

[Captain]

..... dirt under their fingernails and a very questionable set of morals.

 

"What else would you expect from a group who proudly use the term "Lay-Me" and who mostly wear uncoloured overalls, without even a ......

[turboplanner]

.........Rainbow patch or man bun.

The aviation industry took .......................................................

[Captain]

48 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.........Rainbow patch or man bun.

The aviation industry took .......................................................

..... a good hard look at itself and reinvented itself over the October long weekend, in a way that even Dan Gryder needed to report on, because it was man-dated (erky perky) that there must be Aviation Music Festivals, tie-dyed overalls, man-buns (or man-bun wigs for the bald blokes) and signs in every aviation workshop say "Only Lay-Me if we both give permission", and soft non-blokey Barry Manilo type music was enforced in every aviation (avref) workshop ..... then finally, CASA issued workshop posters showing a hunky Albo over the words "The Prime Minister urges all Lay-Me's not to get their tools out in public".

 

As a result of the above, accident rates went .......

Edited July 13, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........down, because no one had any time to fly. They were too busy buying wigs, hair pieces, dying overalls and in cases like Cappy attending retraining classes.

Diversity was spreading; Turbo arrived at a country airport to find all the parked aircraft that didn’t have spats with an embroidered doily skirt over ea ch wheel. The DAME from East Kapooka was sent for extra training after grabbing a female student and yelling COUGH!

Club counters and offices  had little cards everywhere saying “pen” next to each pen, “logbooks” on the logbook shelved, and

[Captain]

..... "Shelf" on the shelves, "Ground" (avref) on the green, brown and grey bits, and "Sky" (avref) on the blue and white bits.

 

But that is when Turbo became confused, because ......

[turboplanner]

........he was dyslexic. Sent out to earn money for the family at the age of five, he was apprenticed to an old rabbit-trapper. The first lesson was never get your foot caught in a trap; after three days Turbo was so ravished that when a particularly careless rabbit tried to get past his foot into its burrow he strangled it, tore it apart limb from him and ate the bones. He was able to use two of the bones to prop the trap open enough to drag his foot out. The rabbit trapper had a problem; he started each sentence OK but lost the middle and tacked it on at the end. It didn't take Turbo long to learn each sentence which was instrumental in learning to speak Urdu later in life and becoming rich from oil leases written in Urdu guaranteeing a percentage to Turbo, but anything written in English of more than one word confused him. Of course once the women at the Flying Club realised this they ................

Edited July 14, 2023 by turboplanner

[Captain]

..... started & finished every sentence with "OK" and Turbo naturally thought he & his damaged foot were in like Flynn.

 

"OK, well that is a bit of an issue" said .....

[Captain]

Meanwhile bull was down on the farm, impressing his mates.

 

https://www.facebook.com/reel/254967660584341?mibextid=9drbnH&s=yWDuG2&fs=e

Edited July 15, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

He got lower and lower with every pass, and he mates yelled OLE! OLE! OLE! which sent him to a fever pitch.

 

Then the prop.......................

[Captain]

4 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Then the prop........

.... rietor of the farm sent .....

[turboplanner]

.....the local Federales a copy of the video, and they showed up in their '87 Chevy cruisers (back windows shot out) and they got him on radar arrested him and left him to rot in the Tijuana Jail until .......

 

 

 

[Captain]

.... Cappy, the Pete Best of the Kingston Trio, and ever the super loyal friend to bull and his coffee lady main squeeze, decided a breakout was justified, so he ......

[bull]

1 hour ago, Captain said:

.... Cappy, the Pete Best of the Kingston Trio, and ever the super loyal friend to bull and his coffee lady main squeeze, decided a breakout was justified, so he ......

.........greased the right hands and Bull found a hacksaw and rope in his apple pie and............