The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.....have another gin, and then who should walk into the Club but....................

.... Biggles with his arm wrapped around .....

[turboplanner]

.............Pink, and they sat down next to Cappy. As Pink sank into the luxurious armchair, Cappy ...............

[Captain]

38 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.............Pink, and they sat down next to Cappy. As Pink sank into the luxurious armchair, Cappy ...............

.... couldn't keep his virile & vibrant eyes off her .....

[turboplanner]

.........but the downside was that neither could a few million males and soon there was a crowd around her and people pushing Cappy's chair further and further away to the point where he had to take out his glasses (c. 2 metres). As some of us NES members have learned to our embarrassment, it is never smart to get between a wild animal and it's prey and Cappy reacted by .................

[Captain]

..... uttering a low pitched growl that sounded like a .....

[turboplanner]

.........Bangkok tiger, and was always a warning that......

[onetrack]

......Cappy was extremely unhappy and about to lash out - typical of his "catty" nature. Accordingly, the growl turned into a screech, and Cappy lashed out at the nearest face - which just happened to be the local Asian mixed-martial arts black-belt holder, WunHung Long (a close relation of WunTrack). Wun staggered back slightly, blood pouring from a gash that started at......

[Captain]

5 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.........Bangkok tiger, and was always a warning that......

.... Cappy was about to spray, which is a .....

[turboplanner]

....his collarbon and finished just short of his hand...................

 

 

....................that trouble is coming, usually when a Raghead spouting glider jingo walked into the club, bit at this stage it appears he couldn't wait for OT to finish talking, so Turbo has provided a hand ......................

[Captain]

12 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....his collarbon and finished just short of his hand...................

 

 

....................that trouble is coming, usually when a Raghead spouting glider jingo walked into the club, bit at this stage it appears he couldn't wait for OT to finish talking, so Turbo has provided a hand ......................

Cappy is confused, as he cannot see any continuity from Crappy's previous post (forget about the 1Trick's post that arrived a few seconds before Crappy's masterpiece, but therefore preceded it in NES terms, is not the latest, and is therefore of lesser importance).

 

It looks like Turdboy may have been flummoxed by Planey coming into the NES like a seagull after a chip, then buggering (NTTIAWWT) off again to play with (NTTIAWWTE) his so-called mates in the Moderatti Magnifficentti..

 

Either that or Turdy is up on Sydney Rd helping a young lady pay for her university education, and the blood has rushed to elsewhere than his brain.

 

Can anybody please help decode the Billy Shakespeare worthy Turbine ramblings?

Edited August 2, 2023 by Captain

[bull]

4 hours ago, Captain said:

Cappy is confused, as he cannot see any continuity from Crappy's previous post (forget about the 1Trick's post that arrived a few seconds before Crappy's masterpiece, but therefore preceded it in NES terms, is not the latest, and is therefore of lesser importance).

 

It looks like Turdboy may have been flummoxed by Planey coming into the NES like a seagull after a chip, then buggering (NTTIAWWT) off again to play with (NTTIAWWTE) his so-called mates in the Moderatti Magnifficentti..

 

Either that or Turdy is up on Sydney Rd helping a young lady pay for her university education, and the blood has rushed to elsewhere than his brain.

 

Can anybody please help decode the Billy Shakespeare worthy Turbine ramblings?

............Nope,the request is unable to be filled or addressed at this time as nearly all NES members reading this post have now got brain fade and are unable to post replies as of this time ...........

[turboplanner]

.........because they have been mesmerised by the enigma of The Planey Post” as it was now known. Could he be an alien, salted on earth as a sleeper? Could he ..............

[planedriver]

simply be busy running through his pre-flight checklist prior to flying to Melbourne for his 80^th.

All essential items including latest NOTAMS, clean underwear, Depends, and new batteries in his torch, essential for the midnight excursions to inspect the residential plumbing are all listed.

[Captain]

1 hour ago, planedriver said:

simply be busy running through his pre-flight checklist prior to flying to Melbourne for his 80^th.

All essential items including latest NOTAMS, clean underwear, Depends, and new batteries in his torch, essential for the midnight excursions to inspect the residential plumbing are all listed.

Sorry Planey but what are these strange words of which you speak?

 

"Pre-flight checklist" and "NOTAM"?

 

Next thing, you will want the Weight and Balance to be within bounds.

 

This new AUF is getting very hoity toity these days.

 

Congratulations too, on going down (NTTIAWWT) to Melbourne for your 80th. The Oneroot has only ever had one.

 

 

Edited August 3, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

............trip; along the rabbit proof fence. It didn't keep the rabbits out but it mesmerised OT  and he's never been able to cross it. 

 

Planey is in the running for a garland pf rissoles for being the first tourist to visit the Big Pothole, the new name for Victoria, superseding Narm which no one could recall ever being spoken about by the elders.

 

Doesn't matter which direction you enter Victoria, the Big Pothole will be there and if you're lucky the Pothole Maids will have a garland ready if you get out the other side or .................. 

 

 

[planedriver]

Being aware that a NOTAM can be issued advising that a head of state is travelling, Planey would be concerned that Dan haters could jepardise otherwise safe travel in the area by all getting out their lazer pointers in the hope that they may for once get him to see the light should it be publicly known.

Due to government cut’s in funding, parachute numbers (should they be needed) are normally one less than the number of PAX. Many feel that this could be a wise move in certain circumstances, so the wise Captain sits on his before they start rolling.

The Cabin manager who’s job it is to hand out the parachutes is of a different political stance to this leader, so she keeps a kids duffel bag to give him that was left behind on a school kids excursion flight.

[CT9000]

Question without notice. What is it you speak of master when you talk of pot hole ?? , I thought that they were rabbit holes. Have I set up the steel jaws in the wrong place? 

                          Further clarification on rabbit proof fence, this is a device to slow down the bunnies to allow time to carefully place beer can down and pick up Winchester.

[Captain]

Another memo to Planey. Please be aware of 2 things:

 

1 The Moderatti will put you in WF Jail if you do not end your NES posts with ...... (bull has plenty of spare and unused punctuation marks if you need them).

 

2 Please use more AUF and aviation references in your posts so thst you will fit in better  here in the NES. 

Edited August 4, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

Turbo has now been waiting for 18 hours to see if the dots will continue past the sparingly supplied 1.

[not a coninuation dot] 

...........[dots suplied at no charge by Turbine Communications] which had just come in from Phuket, reflecting the cashed up Primary School parents currently maintaining massive pressure on Australia's inflation rate.

From Planey's comments it would seem he had come down by Bonza in the aircraft called 'Sheila' and tipped out at Avalon, the windy plains which were used as the set for the movie "Dances with Wolves", although if you throw a biscuit on the ground you won't get a wolf but a machete wielding thug and they're harder to train, and your Benz is guaranteed to be gone when you get back.

 

Blinking in the harsh life, and trying to grasp name changes from Melbourne to Narm to The Big Pothole, Planey stepped out .................................

[Captain]

5 minutes ago, CT9000 said:

Question without notice. What is it you speak of master when you talk of pot hole ?? , I thought that they were rabbit holes. Have I set up the steel jaws in the wrong place? 

                          Further clarification on rabbit proof fence, this is a device to slow down the bunnies to allow time to carefully place beer can down and pick up Winchester.

The RPF, as we bronzed bushies call it, is there to keep the Sand People from coming east. 

Edited August 4, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

[and beware, you can start typing 18 hours after the last person, hit the post key, and be beaten by at least two lurkers.]

[bull]

34 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

[and beware, you can start typing 18 hours after the last person, hit the post key, and be beaten by at least two lurkers.]

..and now turdo has broken the NES rules as well with his single dot on this post! moderati please discipline this wayward member.................

[onetrack]

....and ensure that he's forced to import two 20 foot container loads of dots, punctuation marks and Capitals, so there's plenty to go around. In addition, Turbine Corporation Inc must be made to supply - at no cost to the NES or Eean - a full training course involving the proper use and placement of punctuation marks and Capitals, so that the NES can be read clearly and logically by even the most illiterate NES lurker.

And there also must be made available, a substantial number of bumper stickers - you know, the ones that read - "ILLITERATE? NO PROBLEM! WRITE TODAY FOR MORE INFORMATION!", so that the message is spread to.........

[turboplanner]

19 minutes ago, onetrack said:

....and ensure that he's forced to import two 20 foot container loads of dots, punctuation marks and Capitals, so there's plenty to go around. In addition, Turbine Corporation Inc must be made to supply - at no cost to the NES or Eean - a full training course involving the proper use and placement of punctuation marks and Capitals, so that the NES can be read clearly and logically by even the most illiterate NES lurker.

And there also must be made available, a substantial number of bumper stickers - you know, the ones that read - "ILLITERATE? NO PROBLEM! WRITE TODAY FOR MORE INFORMATION!", so that the message is spread to.........

.....places like the gliding federation.

Turbo accepted this penalty,  photocopied his latest  Nuclear Power Plant Training Manual and marked it up with a felt pen in a few minutes. 
“Done!” He said and...........

[Captain]

8 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.....places like the gliding federation.

Turbo accepted this penalty,  photocopied his latest  Nuclear Power Plant Training Manual and marked it up with a felt pen in a few minutes. 
“Done!” He said and...........

.... with that, Turbo completed his Monty Burns characature.

 

But is it?

 

As every Simpsons fan knows, Monty's Power Plant is structured identically to the Turbine Corporation, Monty drives a Vette, and the below photo is the spit of Turbo, except perhaps for Turbo's bigger ......

 

 

Edited August 4, 2023 by Captain