The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

..... had a French pastry, which I have always preferred over a Dutch roll.

To my surprise, the Gaboroneians were way more friendly than I had been led to believe, and I won a couple of hearts by .....

[turboplanner]

....speaking in French."

Since OneTrack, being a West Australian, has obvious problems speaking English, this was a stunning revelation, and his "Êtes vous disponible?" produced immediate results.

 

His big mistake was not understanding the term "mother' in Botswanian or Gabonese, which referred to the oldest women in the tribe.

 

His second mistake was thinking they would be interested in him, which they were not, and not only did they ignore his question but they knocked up down trying to be the first to get into the Avid Flyer.

 

They all rode Harleys, so within seconds they had the engine started and were perched on the wings, exceeding the MTOW, but what the heck, CASA couldn't do anything about it here and ........

 

 

[bull]

8 hours ago, turboplanner said:

They all rode Harleys, so within seconds they had the engine started and were perched on the wings, exceeding the MTOW, but what the heck, CASA couldn't do anything about it here and ........

 

...........wayyyyy toooo busy chasing Bull for being overweight? something that should never be discussed had been,,,,,,now....................

[Captain]

5 hours ago, bull said:

 

...........wayyyyy toooo busy chasing Bull for being overweight? something that should never be discussed had been,,,,,,now....................

... it was all out in the open.

 

"It's all caused by bull having too many cinnamon buns with the coffee lady" said the Gaberonean head lady. 

 

"How did you know about that sordid liaison by bull at the hospital?" asked 1trick

 

"We here in Gaborone are great fans of the NES. We just lurk, but we love it. My mother likes Turbo's input, my daughter thinks Cappy is hot, my grandma wants to find out what 1trick's special trick is, we are sending bull a 40 ft container full of punctuation marks (but he is cute despite that), and our .....

Edited July 29, 2023 by Captain

[onetrack]

..... Gaboronian friends want to know if there's any sizeable market in Australia for our sparkly Botswanian diamonds! As you probably already know, Botswana is just one big diamond mine, and to keep our country ticking over steadily, we really need to keep selling these diamonds.

 

Of course, the fact that our national currency, the Pula is only worth 12c in your money, means that our Gaboronian diamonds present as very good value, and if you buy a bag full of our diamonds, we can even throw in a..........

[Captain]

..... a hand to put it on.

 

The hand will not have a person attached, but you can't always have everything. 

 

bull has always been a bit keen on diamonds, as he thinks they would be easy to smuggle out in your back passage, or on your front verandah, or by shoving them up your ......

Edited July 29, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......nose. He'd heard a story once about a guy from a GM plant who smuggled out a Cadillac one piece at a time by shoving them up his nose, and he was tempted.

 

You'll notice that Cappy didn't mention CT and that was because the old Gabbo didn't trust Cappy not to blurt out her dealings around the world, which he has as we know, and the old girl had fallen for CT so she showed him how to pack 10 carats ............................

[Captain]

.... 2 cauliflowers and the Botswanaen equivalent of the Topcapi Rose-of-Istanbul pink diamond, all combined into a ......

[Captain]

14 hours ago, Captain said:

Topcapi Rose-of-Istanbul pink diamond

Dear NESers. Do not waste your time searching for information on this priceless gem as it is now in Cappy's private collection after it was presented to him by the bloke that runs Istanbul, following a successful Court Case in the notoriously difficult European Court in the Hague, where Cappy got him off without any adverse consequences.

 

And g'day to the Gaboronean girls, and the other thousands of NES lurkers too.

 

Here is a photo, just for NESers (so please keep it confidential) of the trinket after the presentation, when Cappy and the President were having a couple of sherbets in an undercover prohibition pub in downtown Istanbul. It's a subtle pink, but it is still a pink, nevertheless.

Edited July 30, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

20 hours ago, Captain said:

.... 2 cauliflowers and the Botswanaen equivalent of the Topcapi Rose-of-Istanbul pink diamond, all combined into a ......

Cadillac hub cap.

This was bolted to the wheel of the Avid Flyer so no one would notice, and a flight was planned to ..............

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

Cadillac hub cap.

This was bolted to the wheel of the Avid Flyer so no one would notice, and a flight was planned to ..........

..... actually reach a speed (avref) where liftoff (anotheravref) could be contemplated and flight to break the glorious bounds of earth (yetanotherfloweryavref) might just possibly be .....

Edited July 30, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

achieved. (Regular NES readers will note that once a year or so Cappy will write into the story various avrefs to help him stay current), but he still remains the ATSB record holder for near misses.

Only yesterday he .....

[Captain]

21 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

achieved. (Regular NES readers will note that once a year or so Cappy will write into the story various avrefs to help him stay current), but he still remains the ATSB record holder for near misses.

Only yesterday he .....

...... failed his latest BNESR, with Planey as the CNESI, because of insufficient avrefs and not enough .....

Edited July 30, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

...........English in his posts; it was like Primary School all over again without the ......................

[bull]

39 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

...........English in his posts; it was like Primary School all over again without the ......................

........little lunch bottle of milk and afternoon wedgey, Miss .................

[turboplanner]

Cholmondy Wesley-Smythe who taught he Greek and Philosophy  hated those wedgeys because even at the age of nine he still .....................

[Captain]

11 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Cholmondy Wesley-Smythe who taught he Greek and Philosophy  hated those wedgeys because even at the age of nine he still .....................

.... had the hots for Miss Wesley-Smythe (or "Honey", as he called her), and she was showing an unhealthy interest in his tiny 9 year old ......

[onetrack]

.....Hummelbird (long overdue Spaceyavref), which she fawned over. "Ooooh, what a lovely little aeroplane!", she cooed. "It's just the right size for me! Would you like to teach me how to............

[planedriver]

could'nt keep up with our intrepid humorist, who if you have a sh*ts nights sleep and log on in the wee hours, will see his activity while most get none, to the envy of most.

Mrs Turbo who deserves a  for keeping Eeeeeans thread going without nightly passion without a whinge ,sees that her man has had a long reputation of being an intrepid stayer. whatever that means.

[turboplanner]

 and here good readers, we have a situation lsimilar to when sailors found the Marie Celeste deserted, but still under sail.

 

Was "couldn't" the start of planey's post, or did OneStory write more, but then erase a paragraph?

and the King Charles quote about love, which changed the way Britons lived?

 

Turbo can but imagine the story line, beginning with ..................fly the Hummelbird, at which time a flock of swans flew over OneTrack's head, the wings beating out "WingLoad!, wingload!, wingload!, wingload!" and he looked at Ms Smythe and realised the MTOW was going to get a nudge as well, but OT was an honourable man so he poured Ms Smythe into the HB, pumped the throttle 4 times and hit the s......................

 

 

[Captain]

22 hours ago, planedriver said:

Mrs Turbo who deserves a  f

Memo to Planey ...... It is a commonly held view by most NESers that the TurgidPlonker that contributes hereto, including the 4 am pee posts, is actually Mrs Turbo, who uses the NES for relief from Tink's constant talk about Corvettes.

[planedriver]

Talk about a 4am post being a relief to many, others of the shy-brigade simply refer to them being in the wee-hours which many could relate to, and you can Depent on that.

[onetrack]

Dear confused NES'ers. My post is as I wrote it, I deleted nothing. I believe Planey must have found some potent drugs during his trip to the bathroom in the wee small hours - possibly mistaking the drugs for his prostate medicine. How else can one explain his post? - apart from, perhaps, the fact that Planey logged on to page 434 of the NES from 2013 and thought it was a current page, that needed something added to it! Planey, I trust those drugs wear off soon, and you end up back on page 790.

[Captain]

7 hours ago, planedriver said:

Talk about a 4am post being a relief to many, others of the shy-brigade simply refer to them being in the wee-hours which many could relate to, and you can Depent on that.

 

5 hours ago, onetrack said:

I believe Planey must have found some potent drugs during his trip to the bathroom in the wee small hours - possibly mistaking the drugs for his prostate medicine. H

Cappy, being the true mate of all NESers, as he is, considered whether to defend Planey from these vial sentiments, then he decided "Naahhhh, stuff it, I'll just .....

Edited August 1, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....have another gin, and then who should walk into the Club but....................