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The Never Ending Story


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.....bald patch - which is a matter of serious concern to Turbo, and one he doesn't like to hear discussed. Nonetheless, Turbo and Monty (or Charles Montgomery Plantagenet Schicklgruber Burns, as he's properly known) also share a lot of very similar character traits - ruthlessness, callousness, willingness to use a firearm at the drop of a hat, multiple christian names, shoots endangered species for their pelts, and utilises underpaid workers to split atoms on anvils with sledgehammers. 

Of course, needless to say, thanks to the global activities of Turbine Inc, both Monty and Turbo are billionaires. However, unlike Monty, Turbo has been seen to have a soft side, whereby he was once spotted dropping a 10c coin onto a beggars collection mat.

To tell the truth, Turbo actually dropped the coin whilst fumbling with a handful of bigger coins, and he preferred not to stop and pick it up, in case the beggar spotted all the other, bigger coins.

However, Turbos finest moment, one that raises him well above Monty Burns stature, is when he was accosted by...........

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..... most of the Moorabbin population, who are almost all down-and-out Collingwood supporters, and Monty (oka Turbinia's dad) stopped the Vette, took off his Rolex, hid his gold teeth, put on the Crook-Lock, and .....

Edited by Captain
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FOR THOSE WHO MAY BE UNSURE ......

THE CARTOON MONTY IS AT RIGHT.

TURBO'S PASSPORT PHOTO IS AT LEFT, AFTER HIS SURGERY TO ADD 2 MORE FINGERS.

 

34000608122_dfa842b471_b.jpg

Edited by Captain
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....tie knot.

When Turbo was in school, the standard was a Windsor knot which had to be tied single handed. This was a safety standard to allow you to grab the stair rail as you flew down to try to get into class on time.

 

Later when he carried the rear, and front just in case, bumper stickers "I FLY MILE HIGH" and blondes were honking him all over town for a flight, he was able to tie that knot single handed on descent and be correctly dressed for the RCAC dining room.

 

It was on a .................................

 

 

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3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

It was on a ........

 

...... cool dark night that Mavis became aware of Turbo's knot tying ability, and it was then that she introduced the beforehand rather innocent Turbo to the wonders of rope play.

 

He had the body for it & his life changed forever when he became a star, on fortnightly rotation (avref), at the Hellfire Club, and his .....

Edited by Captain
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.....ability to do double back flips hanging from a single rope held by Mavis's false teeth, was usually accompanied by a soundtruck of crashing thunder and the room being plunged into darkness, usually covering Turbo's crash to the ground when the teeth came out followed by an anxious Mavis calling Zyu orrigh Shurbo?

 

But it was the foundation of the Turbine Mega Conglomorate now covering 132 Countries because the owners paid Turbo danger money in return for the audience being able to see the blood.

 

One night.................

 

 

 

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..... just after Turbo had signed a 5 year contract to headline at the Hellfire Club (THC), he had always wanted to be in showbiz) he became aware of the requirement to do the show nude (naughtyref).

 

"But I'll be hanging upside down in the ropes" protested Turdy "And that means that my hangers (avref) will dangle from a different direction, and will cover up my ......

 

TURBO'S IMAGE BEING USED TO PROMOTE THE CLUB (Teevillain is his stage name)

 

teevillain_hellfire-club-teevillain_1656562246.large.png

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suspension apparatus; but the promoter didn't take any notice, and didn't pay him for that advertising material either. Turbo apologises to the Gliding Federation members who may be frightened by that image. It was in a part of Turbo's life when he took some extreme risks. Appearing in an animated display every night with someone like Mavis (no more needs to be said) is hard on the muscles and Turbo was offered goanna fat, claimed to repair torn muscles overnight. Turbo's mistake was eating it instead of rubbing it on. his skin fell off and he developed horny scales, and in fact grew horns and his tongue shrivelled up and split. Readers can see the end forming in the above image. He lost his voice and could only spit after the first week. The Promoter loved the image and paid for more goanna oil. In the second week Turbo became unsociable and tried to hide under furniture; he would hiss loudly and had grown a tail which he used to wrap around Mavis's neck in the act. Mavis wasn't that keen on the view but there were a lot less falls. In the third week people noticed that he preferred to lap up milk rather than eat his morning Weet Bix, and he spent a lot of the time up the pole during the day, and would hiss and spit at anyone who came close, but one night he took a long leap and landed on the balcony rail of the Lounge section where Mrs ....................................................................

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1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

suspension apparatus; but the promoter didn't take any notice, and didn't pay him for that advertising material either. Turbo apologises to the Gliding Federation members who may be frightened by that image. It was in a part of Turbo's life when he took some extreme risks. Appearing in an animated display every night with someone like Mavis (no more needs to be said) is hard on the muscles and Turbo was offered goanna fat, claimed to repair torn muscles overnight. Turbo's mistake was eating it instead of rubbing it on. his skin fell off and he developed horny scales, and in fact grew horns and his tongue shrivelled up and split. Readers can see the end forming in the above image. He lost his voice and could only spit after the first week. The Promoter loved the image and paid for more goanna oil. In the second week Turbo became unsociable and tried to hide under furniture; he would hiss loudly and had grown a tail which he used to wrap around Mavis's neck in the act. Mavis wasn't that keen on the view but there were a lot less falls. In the third week people noticed that he preferred to lap up milk rather than eat his morning Weet Bix, and he spent a lot of the time up the pole during the day, and would hiss and spit at anyone who came close, but one night he took a long leap and landed on the balcony rail of the Lounge section where Mrs ....................................................................

..... Cappy was out with the girls & looking to crack onto something that would be an improvement.

 

She chased Turdy-the-Goanna up an artificial gum tree in the corner of the club.

 

Around and around he went staying exactly on the opposite side to Mrs Crappy, who has been around a bit herself.

 

"Is that Kerry Packer?" asked one of the other girls, as she kept a close & depraved eye on the high jinx on the stage, where Mavis had invited the singleroot up to work towards his 2nd, by using a ......

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......vaudeville dancer, and soon Turbo was dancing around the pole, his tail lashing out hands grabbing for Mavis who was having trouble keeping up, all the while hissing and puffing out his jaws which had started to blow out into a frill. Soon he was dancing around the pole by keeping his legs ay 90 degrees to his thighs and lurching one foot out at a time, using his tail to balance. Mavis was swinging through the air like a ..............

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12 hours ago, turboplanner said:

......vaudeville dancer, and soon Turbo was dancing around the pole, his tail lashing out hands grabbing for Mavis who was having trouble keeping up, all the while hissing and puffing out his jaws which had started to blow out into a frill. Soon he was dancing around the pole by keeping his legs ay 90 degrees to his thighs and lurching one foot out at a time, using his tail to balance. Mavis was swinging through the air like a ..............

......... pygmy glider, one of the key preys of what has become known as the "Gross & Grotesque Goanna" (Biggus Grossus Packa Turbinokus).

 

Turbo was hungry after being chased for most of the day, so he lined Mavis up to be his dinner and without waiting, he pounced.

 

"Hang on" said the Bouncer "You can't bite her there."

 

"You stay out of this, sonny" responded Mavis, as she looked at that big brute (Turboref) with her cute big & round pygmy glider (avref and GFAref) eyes, then added "Go for it Turdy, but be careful of my ......

 

THE LOOK THAT MAVIS GAVE

Image result for pygmy glider

Edited by Captain
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....daisies."

Turbo hissed and whipped around the back of the rope; he'd lost the mood and just hung there blinking and looking at the floor.

Some kids walked in and started poking sticks at him, so he climbed higher and sat on top of one of the rafters, angrily flicking his tail.

A yellow tailed kite (Lostus Kapookarus) which had been resting, sidle up to him and said "Want me to bite the eyes out of those little pricks Bro?"

This gave Turbo an idea....................

 

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.......give Cappy a like.

So he got on the mike and called Mabel a dike; she spat back "take a hike";  he asked "On my bike?", she threw a Nike which caised him to spike, Nob yelled "I rike!", and Mabel ......................

 

 

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13 hours ago, turboplanner said:

......radio station disk jockey and spent most of the day on the mike but she also........

..... gave appropriate attention to the Dave, the William, the Alan and ........

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......then a report cam in of a Cessna which had crashed into the airport, and seemed to have been aimed at the pilots' lounge where several pilots were lounging.

They had been crapping on about how every report called the aircraft a Cessna, and here was the proof that the stories were true. It had knocked over the President's table, and it even had a Cessna badge on it so they reluctantly had to tell the press it was a Cessna. The Journalist Toby Ornot, roared with laughter and said "You all say that but I always get letters of complaint telling me it was a Drifter or Thruster or a Gazelle. It's the pilots who feed me that .............................

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