The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

.... a renewed confidence in all members of the Australian Aviation Industry, which had dropped its bundle a little since the Kookaburra went down.

 

As a result, Cappy received his 2nd (or is it his 3rd?) AO, Australia initiated its own Oshkosh, only bigger, in Wagga Wagga, and that was just the start of a wondrous age of Aviation prosperity and development, where .....

[Captain]

NES MILESTONE IS COMING UP

.... I see in the stats below that the NES is coming up on 20,000 posts.

 

All that and it has only just got started.

 

And it's just 5 years until the 20 year anniversary.

 

That will surely mean an(other) AO for all of us for Services to Skippy Literature and the Arts.

Edited August 14, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........people stopped drinking coffee and playing crush lemons on their computer, or cursing people who say planting a lawn with thistles is a good way to keep dogs off your property, and in a body marched out the 7 days to their nearest Recreational Flying airfield and asked to be taught to fly.

 

But there were no Instructors left. A search of WF shows the last Instructor posted in 2013.

 

Turbo decided to be the "Mystery Shopper" He'd done this many times in the automotive industry, but people always said "What are you doing here Turbo? You're certainly no mystery, her her her! [car saleman talk].

 

After three days he finally found what looked like a working airfied, walked in and asked: "Is the CFI around?"

 

"We don't use them ackernims anymore" said the girl behind the counter who'd been educated at UNSW, which claims to produce the second hiughest number of employable people in Australia each year. [Official Note: University of Melbourne is second with 3 people]

 

She threw a set of keys at him and pointed airside.

 

Sitting there one wing low was a Thruster.

 

"This can't be that hard" thought Turbo, but .........................

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

"This can't be that hard" thought Turbo, but .........................

...... it was, and he wasn't sure whether it was the key-chucking lass  or the Thruster that had caused it.

 

"If it was the cute little lass, then I might be a pedi-file" thought Turbo, who had never understood the connection between that undesirable desire and feet + corn rasps. But he still knew it to be an undesirable affliction for a bloke like Turbo who was in his late 40s, after all. 

 

"Or perhaps it actually is the Thruster that has given me the semi" Turbo contemplated,  and he ....

Edited August 14, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....checked the throttle then took his hand off it and turned around to make sure the fuel was turned on and the throttle flicked to the WOT position (the Thruster had been assembled by a cow cocky).

He had only intended to taxy the Thruster, but now he had to fly it, and one wing dropped..............

[Captain]

23 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

He had only intended to taxy the Thruster, but now he had to fly it, and one wing dropped..............

..... , the Chinese student, called out to Turbo "Keep that wing down Turdy, as my famiry leceive a loyalty each time you do that, and we leceive a plemium if both wings dlop, but that not so good for you.

 

The Thruster ...

 

 

One Wing Dropped's mates call him OWD for short (and he is), which is a coincidence, as Turbo's mates ofter refer to him as OCD.

 

 

 

 

Edited August 14, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....had felt very saggy on take of and now Turbo knew why thanks to Cappy's post.

Turbo looked at One Wing Dropped and felt some resentment that not only had OWD jumped on board uninvited, but wanted a royalty as well, so he did what the WW2 instructors used to do, let go of everything except a bit of right rudder and yell "YOUR AIRCRAFT EGG EATER!" and sit back and watch as ......................................................

[Captain]

.... the Japanese attacked Darwin & their Subs came into Sydney Harbour. 

 

"Perhaps our flying training needs to be faster and more effective, and the EEs need to .....

Edited August 15, 2023 by Captain

[Captain]

1 hour ago, Captain said:

"Perhaps our flying training needs to be faster and more effective,

"Too light" said Nobu "And then I would not have been stuck in the Cowla Plison Camp for the dulation of the war."

[turboplanner]

........be FFs.

Turbo realised that what he thought was a Chinese, and it wasn't nobu, it was a was a clone of Nobu, but with a bit of western NSW hayseed mixed in. "What's your name?"

"I am Nobulu" came from the wide mouth and red face, son of "Kamikazi Nob".

And Turbo knew he was going to have to find Nob, bring him out of retirement and get him to train his son the Japanese way, which was backwards.

He sat off the Cowra Aldi on Fitzroy St for a week. Nob had bred so Turbo was hoping he'd shop with the missus, but there was no sign of him.

On a chance, he drove back to the old tunnel entrance near the Japanese cemetery. Nob had been clever and brushed the entrance, but Turbo had been trained to be a tracker by Budgim Budgim, a Woolworths man from the Fruit Nation and recognised Nob's tracks immediately.

He cautiusly crawled down the tunnel and there in the light of a single candle was Nob, writing "Mein Kampf, the Sequel" where, as he explained the Japanese had mistakenly attacked Pearl Harbour. "The dills", he said "had been ordered to attack SYDNEY harbour and it now up to a new breed of Japanese to carry out the orders of honourable Empereror" all the while looking at Turbo and daring him to reply.

 

Having seen one of these warriors, Turbo was reasonably confident that an attack by thousands of these wide-mouthed, short, white-haired characters with bellies like Cornwall draught horses, who could swallow a McDonalds Big Angus in one gulp and order four more, wold founder on food supply issues, so he said nothig.

Nob .......................

 

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

Nob ....................

..... , who had always admired Turbo, and thought him to be a Super-Cool dude, just like Tripitaka, thought that in this case .....

[turboplanner]

....................Captain Cook was a super dude until he realised that his Ancestor had pulled into Cooktown for a lot more than hull fixing, and ...................

[Captain]

52 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....................Captain Cook was a super dude until he realised that his Ancestor had pulled into Cooktown for a lot more than hull fixing, and ...................

.... little Joey Banks, who was known as Banksy to the rest of the crew, because he was always trying to sketch on footpaths, although he was a little ahead of his time, because footpaths hadn't been invented yet in Cooktown, so Joey .....

Edited August 15, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......ran ashore without permission and started drawing on the footpaths in Cooktown using all the swear words he’d picked up from the sailors.

This didn’t go dow well with the local Tribe. The Chief, Anthony Aborigine sent a letter to the ship complaining about the mess even though his own kids were out there gutting goannas on the footpath.

Captain Cook had a short fuse........

[Captain]

33 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......ran ashore without permission and started drawing on the footpaths in Cooktown using all the swear words he’d picked up from the sailors.

This didn’t go dow well with the local Tribe. The Chief, Anthony Aborigine sent a letter to the ship complaining about the mess even though his own kids were out there gutting goannas on the footpath.

Captain Cook had a short fuse........

..... (NTTIAWWT) although Mrs Cook always looked pretty content when Joey & little Matty Flinders used to drop around to play Mahjongg with Jim and Benny Franklin (who was still a little jumpy, but pleased with himself, from the result of the lightning strike 20 years before).

 

In Cooktown, however, Jimmy went right off, because most of the footpaths comprised sand and goanna guts, and Banksy had used up most of the ship's stores of spray cans.

 

Then the ever resourceful Jim identified the solution to this issue, which was to .....

Edited August 16, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

..........form a corporation, and make a Native Title claim as the First Nation.

"But, but, but You weren't the first nation here" spluttered Anthony Aborigine bristling that his authority was being threatened.

"We were here 80,000 years ago, just look up that hill" and sure enough there was a 200 foot blue gum standing there with two 300 foot blue gums diagonally, displaying the British flag.

"That's not proof, squealed Anthony Aborigine, a storm could have done that"

"I accept that's not proof" said Jim Cook and Anthony gave that surly little sneer but Jim continued "but my family signed the visitors book when they arrived in Cooktown"

Anthony Aborigine who had DNA results showing the Aborigine family was of Indian origin, had no answer, so the cunning little XXXX said "How about we sign a Treaty"

Not many people know about the Cooktown Treaty but its there hiding in plain sight in the Cooktown Museum, 27 pages long giving Native Title to the Cook family in return for lifetime beer supply to the Aborigine family."

Sooner or later this is going to come out and ........................

[onetrack]

......there'll be a huge beer bill being sent to the Cook families of today. When Cappy got his share of the beer bill, he went ballistic. "What the hell is this??", he exclaimed. "I don't recall giving Turbo any ability to run up a tab on my account at...........

[turboplanner]

...........Dan Murphy's.

"Jim Cook did; you can see the document in the Cooktown Museum" explained Turbo, "and I identify as Turbo Aborigine, blood brother to Anthony, although he can be a little XXXX at times."

Cappy stood there dumbfounded, but a plan was forming in his head and he went to the Library where ..............................

[Captain]

5 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Cappy stood there dumbfounded, but a plan was forming in his head and he went to the Library where ..............................

..... they had free internet (The Cooktown Library was very progressive back then).

 

"Don't you try to Google search" said the Librarian  "As Mr Google is a white fella and .....

Edited August 16, 2023 by Captain

[onetrack]

.....we only allow black fellas to do the searching up here! But you can't do a blackfella search at present, 'cos they're all out doing "Welcome to Country" performances. Besides, we can't waste black fellas on ordinary searches, our black fellas only specialise in searching for people lost in the bush, and things like that!"

 

Dejected, Cappy left the Library in search of some worthwhile help. Within a short space of time, he found a group of black fellas clustered around a Pord Palcon that wouldn't go. He rocked up to the nearest black fella and said, "Hey, if I get this going for you, will you..........

[turboplanner]

....lt me use the internet?"

and then he had a quick thought "I need to contact my mate Turbo Aborigine, he's a Bunnings man"

"Of COURSE BRO!" said the leader and Cappy strode up the steps; they'd already prepaed a ticket; the body language of the group was obvious, and Cappy .............

 

[Captain]

..... knew that he would be facing more adoration, so he ......

[onetrack]

.....waltzed in to a "Welcome to Country" display, and a smoking ceremony - which pleased Cappy no end, as it was much more than his ancestor had received in 1770.

 

It's matter of little-known fact, that when Capt James Cook had knocked off one of the local ganguuru's (just to see what it tasted like), and then refused to share the turtles with the Guugu Yimithirr, then all chances of a "Welcome to Country" ceremony went straight out the window.

 

However, after a couple of major punch-ups with the Guugu Yimithirr, whereby one of the natives got shot up, and Cooky and his mob pinched some of the Guugu Yimithirr spears, there was a sort of "Welcome to Country" ceremony held at Reconciliation Point, whereby peace was made, the spears were returned, and Cooky and his mob agreed to share the turtles.

All this family history was uppermost in Cappys mind as he faced the Welcome to Country and smoking ceremonies - fully expecting to be ushered in with great respect - but then - he was stopped at the door.

"Hey bro", said one big black fella. "We reckon you owe us tree hunded and pifty bucks for the shows! And we only take cash! - but we could take a few cartons as well, if you haven't got the full tree hunded and pifty on you!"

Cappy was appalled. This wasn't the adoration he was fully expecting. In fact, it was nothing more than a scam, and a huge rort, and he was being disrespected!!

 

"Bro", said Cappy, adopting his best humbugging stance and mannerisms. "I ain't got no tree hunded and pifty bucks on me, right now - but if you care to lend me pive hunded bucks, I can reassure you, I'll repay the whole amount next dole payday, and if you...........

 

Edited August 16, 2023 by onetrack

[Captain]

8 minutes ago, onetrack said:

 

"Bro", said Cappy, adopting his best humbugging stance and mannerisms. "I ain't got no tree hunded and pifty bucks on me, right now - but if you care to lend me pive hunded bucks, I can reassure you, I'll repay the whole amount next dole payday, and if you...........

 

.... welcome me to cuntry again, I will .....

Edited August 16, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

".......give you some scars where you never had them before, and eat the contents."

Far from being offended the locals slapped him on the shoulders and let him go right through.

The leader winked to the others and said "We'll eat him later guys"

CT, who had been sitting unnoticed in the Library researching "Rabbits of FNQ" hear the comment and rushed to warn Cappy, who .............