The Never Ending Story

[bull]

6 hours ago, turboplanner said:

........not make it to the end of the run.

This is where Greg's amazing skills came in. First obstruction was a 1 metre diameter redgum across the line he had chosen, so he ....................

..ran through his forced landing checklist and settled down in his seat and tightened his straps so he.......................

[turboplanner]

....... wouldn't be thrown against the Instrument Panel, because he was about to use the bull method (bm),

Greg had been in Bowen  in a Kombi with four girls years ago and had hung around the airfield while bull asked for surfing tips from the girls. Greg had one move which involved flying a metre above flat ground, yanking the stick back and then forward and then full forward full throttle and the aircraft seemed to somersault, touch the ground with the spinner then finish the somersault pointed at the sky and take off into the blue heading for the next show venue. It was an illusion of course so don't give up your day job as an aeronautical engineer, because no one other than bull has learnt the method. 

It came about like this. Both bull and Greg were exhausted from learning about surfing to they went off by themselves to the Bone RSL. They slipped through the side entrance, evading Mavis, and hopped into the Chef's specials which all included mangoes  but it was the end of the season and all the mangoes had fermented. As they walked out of the pub, a couple of Bone's finest rolled up in a Land Cruiser to breathalise Greg who was the designated driver. It wasn't looking good with both of them bent over the Land Cruiser being searched for weapons, when bull said "Do what I do!" and went into an intricate Aboriginal dance. One minute the cops were about to put the cuffs on them, next minute they weren't there. bull whispered to Greg "Lie still and they'll eventually go away, which they did.

Next day Greg offered bull a days training in aerobatics, and bull learnt the (bm).

Now, with the big redgum looming up, he used it and ..................

[Captain]

11 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Now, with the big redgum looming up, he used it and ..................

.... gave the most astounding wood chopping demonstration that would have won gold at the Easter Show, and which was faster than the V8 chainsaws that they compete with in Canada. 

 

"Ohhhh, Greg can do anything that he sets his mind to." Cooed the Coffee Lady "And the possibilities would be endless if I could get bull & Greg into the same .....

Edited August 22, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......state of mind".........but Greg was focused as he ran back to the still rolling facet opal jumped back in, guided it though a mob of roos, two bulls, a peacock and four hay bales, gently coming to a stop. 

Who should be riding along on his dirt bike but ...................

 

[Captain]

1 minute ago, turboplanner said:

.......state of mind".........but Greg was focused as he ran back to the still rolling facet opal jumped back in, guided it though a mob of roos, two bulls, a peacock and four hay bales, gently coming to a stop. 

Who should be riding along on his dirt bike but ...................

 

..... the old secretary of the AUF.

 

"It's great to see aircraft powered up and pilots running alongside again, just like the good old days. I dip my lid to you, sir." Then he popped the front wheel up and ......

[turboplanner]

.......fell flat on his back.

Greg .......

[Captain]

35 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......fell flat on his back.

Greg .......

..... ever respectful, and hanging onto the Facet for grim .....

[turboplanner]

....death finally wrangled it to a stop.

"Why would you jump out of a perfectly good aircraft with an operating engine,  race head and cut up a redgum, then run back and jump in?' asked a local journalist who had been interviewing a farmer about the fertility of his bulls.

"The engine stopped" said Greg who had just turned 93. "These Cessnas are all the same"

When the story came out, 350 people wrote in the social media section that once again a journalist cal labelled the story Cessna Crash, when it was an Opel Facet, 13 had said the engine was still running based on the smoke, and only two said Greg might have been a year too old.

There was uproar from .....................

 

[Captain]

.... the "OLD LIVES MATTER" subgroup of the AUF, (many of whom are active on the NES) & the SAAA were upset that AUF members were claiming that their aircraft were the same as "real planes" (Cessnaref), but the rank-&-file AUFers just indicated their displeasure by .....

Edited August 23, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

...........attending SAAA meetings anonymously and putting salt in the coffee.

This reminded Turbo of the time he visited the Wangaratta Long Range Drone Association who had advertised Drones with a 300 km range for $59.00.

They were to be sold at meetings of the WLRDA and one of the meetings coincided with the day of an appointment Turbo had with a customer in Albury, just an hour further down the highway.

He left Melbourne early and reached the Association's Clubrooms about 10 am, in plenty of time for his 2 pm meeting in August. An old shrivelled woman said "There's no one here, they're all out at the show - the meeting's out there."

He drove out to the show, paid the $48.00 entry fee and eventually found the WLRDA stand with stacks of carboard boxes indicating at least there was plenty of stock. Another shrivelled old lady told him the meeting was in the CWA rooms. When Turbo asked where they were she have him a withering glance and pointed vaguely west.

He eventually found the meeting and asked who he had to talk to to buy a drone. "You have to be a Member" said a guy called Ned with a long red beard and "Membership is $320.00" When Turbo suggested that was a trifle high he was fixed with a glare and said "It's because of safety!!!!!"

Sensing trouble, Turbo paid with a cheque; the first one he'd written in 12 years and sighed his name Jack Schatt. Ned didn't blink. Turbo asked who he needed to see to buy a Drone and Ned said "Alice - she's at the show. Seeing the light at the tunnel, Turbo trotted to the stall, but a strong wind had blown up and the drones, packed in Pizza boxes were flying off the stacks into a growing crowd of kids who'd picked up an average of 10 drones. Alice was nowhere to be seen. While he was waiting, Turbo held down the last two stacks. The President, a 7 foot ex basketballer nicknamed Lofty, who'd presided over the most boring meeting Turbo had ever attended, with a quorum check count showing 172 members in attendance,  Movers, Seconders, Count, Adoptions, referring to his Committee on every Motion, disallowing speakers from Greta, and totally ignoring New Member Jack Schatt, now accosted Turbo for saving the last of the stock with "What's your name? I'm going to put your on report!" Turbo happily replied, picked a box off the top and handed the President $60.00, and said "Jack Schatt, sorry I have to be at a meeting in Albury and the last he saw of the President was Lofty stopping down trying to beat the kids to the pizza boxes. The drone never flew; one of the maintenance-free electric motors failed to work, so Turbo moved on to ....................

 

 

 

[Captain]

..... literature, flying a kite (in the literary sense), and writing tomes that contain literary gems about drones, shrivelled up old chick's, tall Presidents, wind, pizza boxes and boring meetings.

 

"I really enjoyed reading that" said Planey when he rang Cappy for a chat. "He sure uses lots of words".

 

"Me too, and yes he sure does. I ofter refer to him as Turbo Conan Planner." replied Cappy "Turbo has matured as a writer, and I was rivetted, just like I was when I first read The Hound of the Baskervilles, when the .....

Edited August 23, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......hound turned out to be Horace Cook who.......”

 

Edited August 23, 2023 by turboplanner

[Captain]

..... couldn't even .....

[Captain]

.... get his entry in on time for the Club Race Day at Baskerville (ACDref & racetrackref). 

 

"There is too much sand on the circuit" Horry said, then added "Ohhh, the sand".

 

"Wrong Baskerville mate" said bull, so Horry started the long drive, car transporter and all, from Upper Swan to Tassy. "Geeez I hope that they wait for me" he added.

 

But the meeting went ahead anyway and Horry ....

Edited August 24, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

8 hours ago, Captain said:

.... get his entry in on time for the Club Race Day at Baskerville (ACDref & racetrackref). 

 

"There is too much sand on the circuit" Horry said, then added "Ohhh, the sand".

 

"Wrong Baskerville mate" said bull, so Horry started the long drive, car transporter and all, from Upper Swan to Tassy. "Geeez I hope that they wait for me" he added.

 

But the meeting went ahead anyway and Horry ....

.........arrived after Heat 2 when the leader had scored 7 points for a First and Second. Horry would have to produce a perfect result in Heats 3 and 4. 

 

He was unloading when the ACD President came up and said "Horry can you fly the Pitts Special [avref] in the aerobatics display?" and Horry knew that if he said know they'd deduct points somehow.

 

It was the four-aileron model with the 180 hp engine. It didn't so much fly as throw itself along. Horry who was skilled in aerobatics was wary of it, but he put on a show that was.........

[Captain]

56 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

 

It was the four-aileron model with the 180 hp engine. It didn't so much fly as throw itself along. Horry who was skilled in aerobatics was wary of it, but he put on a show that was.........

.... to become a thing of legend on YouTube, resulting in Matthew Hall, Kirby Chambless and 7 F30 pilots asking him for some coaching.

 

But that paled into insignificance when his Smoky & The Bandit remake hit the screens, showing Horry making it from Upper Swan to Baskerville in 20 hours, including the ferry, in a HQ station wagon towing a home-made trailer that still had the slag on all of the welds.

 

Horry made a great Burt Reynold, but the ......

[turboplanner]

......passenger was born in WA, and so she nagged him all the way across, which was why he travelled so fast.

 

The epic trip, which took into account the curvature of the earth is shown in this map courtesy Google Earth and Turbine Maps Inc.

 

Horrie didn't know ............

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Captain]

21 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

......passenger was born in WA, and so she nagged him all the way across, which was why he travelled so fast.

 

The epic trip, which took into account the curvature of the earth is shown in this map courtesy Google Earth and Turbine Maps Inc.

 

Horrie didn't know ............

..... that the "Great Circle Route" would actually take him ....

Edited August 24, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

50 minutes ago, Captain said:

..... that the "Great Circle Route" would actually take him ....

......back to Upper Swan via Tierra Del Fuego when the XiDan Highway was finished and Patagonia was jointly governed by Victoria and China in .....

[Captain]

54 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

......back to Upper Swan via Tierra Del Fuego when the XiDan Highway was finished and Patagonia was jointly governed by Victoria and China in .....

..... cooperation, based on their joint Snowshoe & Hoodie initiative, where Chairman Dan & his minor sidekick Chairman  Charrie Xi offered debt-trap financing, and set up an icecube making plant to export little bits of ....

Edited August 24, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......ice blocks to countries affected by global warming. This was cheaper than wind farms and the ice blocks didn’t kill birds or .......

[Captain]

3 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......ice blocks to countries affected by global warming. This was cheaper than wind farms and the ice blocks didn’t kill birds or .......

.... make much power, but the drinks were cool and the women were.....

[turboplanner]

..........positively icy when they saw ..........

[Captain]

7 hours ago, turboplanner said:

..........positively icy when they saw ..........

..... that even though Horry was a Cook, and was therefore fully loaded with those premium Adonis type genes, Horry himself was a bit .....

Edited August 25, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.........of a monster who was prone to .................