The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

.........of a monster who was prone to .................

..... wind (avref) and .....

[Captain]

WRECK FLYING MANAGEMENT NOTES THAT THE NES HAS JUST CLICKED ONTO PAGE 799. WHO WILL BE THE ONE OF OUR HUNDREDS OF CONTRIBUTORS THAT WILL CLICK IT OVER ONTO PAGE 800 AND WIN THE MAJOR PRIZE? ...... MODERATOR # 6.5

Edited August 25, 2023 by Captain

[onetrack]

....who also had trouble identifying which cutlery item to use, and in which order, any time a formal dinner was held to celebrate another.......

 

Edited August 25, 2023 by onetrack

[Captain]

1 hour ago, onetrack said:

....who also had trouble identifying which cutlery item to use, and in which order, any time a formal dinner was held to celebrate another.......

 

..... graduation of his aerial combat students via a Formal Mess (and a mess is what Horry usually made, but his excuse when he picked up a fork to butter his bread was always "Fork that, I am dyslexic" [Which for anyone other than with Horry's flying skills, would have been a bit of an issue, apropos aerobatics]).

 

This all became a particular problem when Horry picked up the Advanced Fighter Training Contracts from NATO, the US's Top Gun School, the Israeli Oy Vey Advanced Fighter Wing (the OVAFW) and the North Korean Phi Thup Academy, and Horry then had to .......

Edited August 25, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....put his mouth where there had been a previous void.

 

He turned to Turbine Aviation Training (TAT) and Turbine International Training (Military), for help. Chuck Turbine had started up these enterprises at the beginning of WW2 when he realised that the instructors who existed were either addicted to Stout and Lemonade, sent the students up by themselves and trained from a deck chair or were simply consumed with looking in the mirror at themselves.

 

Chuck at one time had been the fastest pilot in the word after inadvertently breaking the Sound Barrier in a Spitfar. He;d put it into a vertical dive from 40,000 feet as you did in those days, and got engrossed in what was going on in a nearby haystack, but the record was his albeit after being made to swear never to do it again or tell anyone.

 

Horry simply put the training material into envelopes and licked the stamps for a 20% commission, but everyone was happy, and the results, at the Battle of Britain and the Coral Sea Battle and North Africa are said to have shortened WW2 by siz years, and ..........

[Captain]

34 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Horry simply put the training material into envelopes and licked the stamps for a 20% commission, but everyone was happy, and the results, at the Battle of Britain and the Coral Sea Battle and North Africa are said to have shortened WW2 by siz years, and .....

.... provided a feed of Qantas pilots for the next 30 years.

 

The nation was thankful, but ....

[turboplanner]

.......not all its residents were, with a stead flow of Qantas pilots alleged to have flown under the Sydney Harbour Bridge, done a victory roll over the airport after finally arriving in Perth, or doing a beat up over the Deni Ute Muster.

 

TAT and its other arm had received regular complaints from the Airline operators and decided to..................

 

[Captain]

.... get some more TATs on the other arm, and decided on a rampant Betty Boop type dancing hula girl, over a .....

Edited August 26, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......Drifter but it didn't work out too well because the Drifter was hidden every time he brought his arm up and ..................

[onetrack]

.....the wings of the Drifter disappeared from his upper arm, every time he clenched his fist and swivelled it. However, he was able to entertain a lot of girls and boys with his "wings disappearing" tattoo trick, which made for..........

[turboplanner]

... a better view than when he straightens his arm and Betty Boop becomes Betty......

[Captain]

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

... a better view than when he straightens his arm and Betty Boop becomes Betty......

..... White, and Blanch also .....

[turboplanner]

.........Blanche Bleach, not to mention Drifter [avref] ..............

[Captain]

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.........Blanche Bleach, not to mention Drifter [avref] ..............

.....s, the Japanese rock band and comedy act that is a favorite of our mate Nobu, as he starts to get used to approaching being a senior citizen. (The Nob is considerably older than us that write about him).

 

Because of his age, Nobu designated last weekend as his last base jump off the tower in Malaysia, and this Sunday will be his final .....

 

THE NOB'S LAST JUMP

Edited August 26, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......canoe ride over the Niagara Falls, with one hand tied behind his back. Then he will make his last fright in the Zero he and Turbo built from a serial number, and then........

[onetrack]

....he will join the few other still-living, world-famous aviators, for a celebratory dinner at the Gumly RSL hall. The problem for the dinner organisers is what to put on the menu for choices, as Nobu's favourite, Sashimi, has recently been banned from importation after the release of a million tonnes of radioactive water from the Fukushima power plant.

 

Further to that was the concern that Nobu has yet to learn the proper use of a knife and fork, and always prefers chopsticks, thus leading to great concern amongst the dinner organisers, as they planned to put savoury mince and mashed spuds on the dinner menu, and this will cause great consternation amongst the chopstick users amongst the invited guests, many of whom are........

[turboplanner]

.......not even able to handle smashed avocado or....…

[Captain]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......not even able to handle smashed avocado or....…

.... yogurt, however these organizers solved the problem and started a trend that has been adopted by most retirement villages, worldwide. 

 

The Gumly CWA were the caterer at the Gumly Risole and their President/Chief Cook, Winnie, said "We just stick everything in a HP blender and serve it in a aluminium milkshake container, then we hollow out the chopsticks or duck up to Maccas & pinch some straws". Then she added "Nobu is a favorite of most of the girls, as he is a real goer, and he likes the bamboo, so we always make him nice new Chopstraws" ..... a name subsequently stolen by the TFP&SDPLC (See below).

 

Ever the opportunist, this immediately resulted in the formation of Turbine Food Processors and Suction Devices PLC in an attempt to ......

Edited August 26, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....dominate the market on tubular feeding devices. Turbine conducted a market survey of Gumly Gumly and Greater Wagga Wagga to optimise the suction devices devices (Turbo apologises to any Waggs for this inadvertent repeat). Each interviewee was photographed and the outstanding observation of the survey was that most Waggs had sucked in cheeks, a bit like old people with no teeth. The Turbine design team  got to work and after a few days had a working straw eating device which was then fine tuned using AI. Initially it was powered by mobile phones, but they were almost always near to flat before the person started eating, rather like an EV used to power and charge various on-board devices which ends up with a range of 2 km. The design crew came up with a solar powered suction device, but then people could only eat outdoors on sunny days and they couldn't suck carrots. the device was fitted with wind vanes for generating power, but then users could not eat inside or on days with winds under 20 knots. All agreed that perhaps the people who designed knives and forks and chopsticks may have been advanced for their time. The B Team, consisting of the over-60s kept on under the Turbine policy of harvesting cunning and previous experience had designed the Ultralight ultrafast feeder for use when flying Recreational Aircraft, such as Drifters and Thrusters. You stuck a tube down your throat and the wind power charged the batteries and you got constant meal service hand-free.

Meanwhile the A Team had committed to Plug In to save the day, and manufacture started on Plug in straws thee weeks later. The total equipment weighed 1.5 kg and the cords formed the sort of plug connected spaghetti that existed in the Sydney Telephone Exchange in 1925. The devices went well at the Gumly Gumly RSL, but then it was observed that some of the older people were overflowing and .....................

[Captain]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

The devices went well at the Gumly Gumly RSL, but then it was observed that some of the older people were overflowing and .....................

..... their back teeth were awash.

 

Except that this time it wasn't from the bottom up, it was because the TFP&SDPLC designs were so efficient that ......

[turboplanner]

.........jam, pork, lettuce, quiche scraps were recycled in the suction device.

Not only that by the Turbine design team had even fitted tooth picks and cleaners based on the successful Turbine electric street sweepers. The team realsied that a tow tonne brush force may have been over the top and will be supplying a Gentle Brush version when they ............

[Captain]

...... get around to finalizing Rev B of the device. 

 

In the meantime they have taken on the substantial (Elon Musk level) challenge of trying to make broccoli edible, and to .....

Edited August 27, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.........produce a silver beat dessert.  (Silver Beet is the staple food of airctaft kit builders).

It was proving hard to get a taste midway between a cow pat and a................................

[Captain]

..... similar quantity of cooked & blended broccoli,  which looks like that very same fresh cow pat, but with ..... 

[onetrack]

......a sickly dirty green colour, which colour constantly reminded Cappy of his flight over........