The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

..... cooked provide enough oil to run a car for 12 hours, if you have a cheap home distillery kit as marketed by Turbine Home Oil Refineries, that .....

[turboplanner]

.......not only distills the oil, but using the Turbine Patented process removes all CO2 from it, so allows it to convert autos going back to 1949 using the black box provided by Turbine Green World Developments Ltd to Zero Emission autos allowing the Countries of the Amazon; Ecuador, Colombia, Bolivia and Brazil to proudly stand on their world leading Zero Emission status, and ...................

 

 

[turboplanner]

12 hours ago, Captain said:

[I find it amazing that these things can fly (avref) with such a thin & spindley wing as shown in this photo. You would think that it would need to be much wider, or would need to rotate somehow. ]

[As clever as Cappy is (he is reputed to have built, in his limousine garage, the best kit Jabiru 230 in the Country), this subject is best referred to the Aeronautical Engineering Genii who populate WF.

These experts can and do dissect and condemn any wing that the engineering staff of any aircraft company produce. They can explain how they could make one better, and this would be a suitable subject for them to explain to someone from the country.]

[Captain]

52 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......not only distills the oil, but using the Turbine Patented process removes all CO2 from it, so allows it to convert autos going back to 1949 using the black box provided by Turbine Green World Developments Ltd to Zero Emission autos allowing the Countries of the Amazon; Ecuador, Colombia, Bolivia and Brazil to proudly stand on their world leading Zero Emission status, and ...................

 

 

.... as a result, trees die as the TPP equipped vehicle drives past, for trees rely on CO2 and Turbo, + his diabolical TPP, have been named as the biggest threats to the planet.

 

To show how serious is this situation, even Chris Bowen gave a speech at the National Press Club, where he designated Turbo as a complete c......

[turboplanner]

......charlatan. Turbo called a press conference, and said "Takes one to know one".

Bowen's future was now under a cloud; many people had secretly believed he was talking BS and now here was the proof.

A TreesNeedCO2 group was started on X, and within two days had 30 million members and outgunned the United Nationals Intergalactical Panel on Climate Change in numbers of scientists. EVs were banned immediately, Wind Farms and solar were limited to only three days per year, and ............

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

A TreesNeedCO2 group was started on X, and within two days had 30 million members and outgunned the United Nationals Intergalactical Panel on Climate Change in numbers of scientists. EVs were banned immediately, Wind Farms and solar were limited to only three days per year, and ............

..... Turbine Packaged Nuclear Power started to gear up for tens of thousands of orders for packaged plants, where several ...

Edited August 29, 2023 by Captain

[onetrack]

......manufacturers of light recreational kit aircraft expressed great interest in one of TPNP's mini-nuclear power plants as a highly suitable replacement for polluting Rotaxes and Jabirus (oh, the pollution, the dreadful, choking pollution!).

 

TPNP took great delight in articulating how their mini-nuclear power plants were so simple and well-built, that any backyard kit-builder (even a bunch of Tasmanians), could assemble their own TPNP power plant from a flat-pack box (Turbo was exceptionally keen to emulate Ikea, and move their cost-reduction processes into technology territory), without any fear of radiating themselves.

 

Furthermore, the waste from these TPNP nuclear power plants was so small, an entire fleet of 150 Drifters would only generate enough nuclear waste to fill a thimble over their 50 year lifespan.

"After all", said Turbo, "No-one will want to be flying a 50 yr old Drifter, especially one with a rusty nuclear power plant up front, so............

[turboplanner]

.........we've issued a bulleting that all flight must cease at 11:59 pm at the end of their 50 year operation, with the exception of those who fit a replacement thimble, and limited to those who being careful and ...........

[Captain]

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.........we've issued a bulleting that all flight must cease at 11:59 pm at the end of their 50 year operation, with the exception of those who fit a replacement thimble, and limited to those who being careful and ...........

.... bury thimble #1 in an environmentally responsible manner ........, so not just chuck it into the creek.

 

Drifters were therefore .....

Edited August 30, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........considered to be green machines, and sold in the tens of thousands a year all round the world.

Not everyone followed the rules though where, particularly in Australia the owners didn't always act in a responsible manner. "Rules are for fools" said one in an elaborate post on a flying forum  and received 1400 likes and 62 laughs. "CASA should be banned" said another but didn't say why but still earned 2891 likes, and the thread stretched into 68 pages which included how to tighten a union on a Bushcaddy fuel tank, who was hoing to the next Old Station Fly in, why ra planes should be allowed to do aerobatics, how God should be banned (but the writer didn't say which Commandment had been broken), and how to cook pork sausages.

 

Reports started to hit the newspapers about circles of dead grass in paddocks near towns, and these were collated by UFO observers who noted that in every single case the circle was near an airport. Soon pilots all over Australia started to get sick and it was remarked that they seemed to have the same symptoms as the people of Hiroshima and Nagasaki in 1945. 

 

Eventually the penny dropped and ...............

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Eventually the penny dropped and .......

..... after a $30 million enquiry by the UNHCR, the lead investigator said "Well, FMD, ......... but the good thing is that the crook persons are only members of the Ultralight community, so it doesn't matter all that much, except of course that .....

Edited August 30, 2023 by Captain

[CT9000]

........it became evident that drifters are not meant to have the engine up front so flying these wonderful machines backwards has introduced a new set of hazards. Viz is not easy when facing where you have been. Neck braces are not cheap. The ailerons are now a differential cannard. The elevator tends not to self center very well. .........

[Captain]

51 minutes ago, CT9000 said:

........it became evident that drifters are not meant to have the engine up front so flying these wonderful machines backwards has introduced a new set of hazards. Viz is not easy when facing where you have been. Neck braces are not cheap. The ailerons are now a differential cannard. The elevator tends not to self center very well. .........

..... and many AUF pilots, who had trouble flying well when going forward, needed to use a mirror held in one hand when flying backwards.

 

CASA thought that this might be a bit of an issue and .....

[onetrack]

.....decided that an AD was necessary. So a committee was formed to advise a panel that advised the communication department, that as of the immediate date, no nuclear-powered Drifters would be deemed airworthy - and any that had been flown backwards, had to immediately be flown forwards the same distance, to even up the air miles covered, and to rewind the hour meters to the correct readings.

In addition, mirrors were not to be used in the operation of any Drifter - regardless of whether it was flown forwards or backwards - and most importantly, any thimbles of nuclear waste had to be logged and recorded in quadruplicate, as to their whereabouts, and the...........

[Captain]

..... entire Wreck Flying community laughed out loud, LOL.

 

"they want us to do paperwork and record stuff" mused bull "well that ain't gunna happen ..... so what a bunch of dills ...... AND those shiny arsed Yes voters in Canberra reckon that I can no longer chuck my nuclear waste (and its certified thimbolic container) into the Tamar, so they obviously have a lot to learn about civic freedom and the attitude of the average ......

Edited August 31, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

..........Nuclear Drifter owner.

CASA went back into its shell and things went back to normal, but as time went on it was noticed at the flyins that nobody was eating the steaks and although they spoke with half closed mouths, it was noticed that most had lost all their teeth and had developed rashes. They started to compare notes and several reported hearing ticking noises when they were at the airfield. One day Jimmy Barnes Stewart (It was his mother) heard the clicking and realised it was getting louder and faster and saw a little man approaching in a white 1953 Landrover short wheelbase. He was dressed in a white protective suit and had protective head and face gear, when he spoke it was through a microphone. "Hello old chap, I'm Jeremy Fitzwilliam, an Inspector from the Atomic Energy Commission and I've been appointed by Prime Minister Menzies to clean all Atomic Matter out of the country. He continued to walk around, then zeroed in on the Drifter. Jimmy hadn't noticed the old white Chevy come up, but the rear door opened and a huge jet of flame shot out and the Drifter was toast. A hydraulic bucket extended from the van and the residue was scraped inside. The Chevy drove away, then the Landrover. Jimmy stood there ................................

[Captain]

..... bewildered, and thought to himself "Oh, bother ". 

 

Jimmy was actually a nice bloke, despite what his mum did to him with that name.

 

A man of lesser quality would have said, FMD, WAC AND SAB, but it would achieve nothing to do that with a brick, so all he could think was "What will Bob say...... and will this stop my invite to his investiture at the Cinq Ports?" But then it occurred to him that ......

Edited August 31, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........he might be living on borrowed time and might not last until the Cinque Ports PU.

He had to do something ...................

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

........he might be living on borrowed time and might not last until the Cinque Ports PU.

He had to do something ...................

.... and Jimmy did the unexpected, which was .....

 

Cappy apologizes to his best mate for the unforgivable spelling error. Once realized, it gave Cappy a sinking feeling, because he was not in sync with Turbo over the spelling of the word Cinque.

[turboplanner]

..........to rub himself down with cream xetracted from the Popycatapetal which grew only from the Popycat trees in the Amazon Rainforest, and they had all been cut down. Turbo had been watching and recording the degradation of the forests for the last 30 years when he had collected seeds and  planted them in New Zealand in a location which can't be disclosed, but which has an identicat climate.

Turbine Medical Inc now supplied all the Radiation Kill Cream around the world. Jimmy tried it and posted of his recovery, attaching a photo of a healthy clear eyed face, and another one showing teeth growing back. He was ripped to pieces on the forum by experts who trashed his comments, most recommending cold sore cream or suntan lotion.

However, Jimmy was recovering fast, and among the Drifter community which largely keeps to itself and avoids the overweighters "Drifter Cream" as it was known was circulating and the nuclear thimbles thrown into dump bins.  They now had to choose a new engine, so .........................

[turboplanner]

1 hour ago, Captain said:

Cappy apologizes to his best mate for the unforgivable spelling error. Once realized, it gave Cappy a sinking feeling, because he was not in sync with Turbo over the spelling of the word Cinque.

[Cappy has no need to apologise; Turbo couldn't spell the name either until he noticed the spelling on the Document of Purchase when he bought them.]

[onetrack]

......once again, Turbine Magic Plasma Engines was formed to develop an emission-free, radiation-free, non-tree-using, green, and earth-friendly, totally radical new engine.

 

Turbo made a presentation of his new engine at the Kingston City Hall, as Moorabbin was recognised globally as the centre of aviation creativity and inventiveness, and Turbo wanted global recognition this time, especially from Elon Musk and other major global entrepeneurs and trillionaires.

 

Turbo outlined how this new engine he'd dreamt up was plasma-powered, and he'd got his ideas from watching the Hadron Collider in operation, plus the odd Shaun the Sheep clip, where the aliens used natty plasma-ray guns. Turbo explained how he thought, "If aliens can produce this sort of technology, why can't Moorabbin?" .... and the crowd went wild as he explained how he planned to........

 

(NES'ers might note how neat it is, that if you add a "c" to "radial", you get "radical" ....)

[turboplanner]

....change the path of history.

He finished with "Of course this is all just on the drawing board" but no one took any notice of that and 18 aircraft manufacturers ran infotorials on social media, some comeplete with drawings showing their "new plasma models......which prior to the Turbine announcement hadn't existed.

Turbo, felling slightly uncomfortable went up to the drawing office. "These plasma engines are running and under test aren't they?" he asked and the Enineer looked back and said "What's plasma.......................

Edited September 1, 2023 by turboplanner

[CT9000]

.........televisions got to do with engines ??. Plasma is old technology now, every TV I know of now uses OLED.......

 

Special note to the broad thinking NES readers, the "T" is not for trans.

[Captain]

1 hour ago, CT9000 said:

.........televisions got to do with engines ??. Plasma is old technology now, every TV I know of now uses OLED.......

...... so Turbo rushed out to register the name OLED Aircraft Engines and he pictured (OLEDpunref) all Drifters ......