The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

..... "I am a resident of the North Island, and are you interested in a quick .....

Edited September 20, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....drive out to my Dakota Park [averf] and Etui Airfield? [avref].

OT sensed this would be one of his rare opportunities adnd willingly went along, usimg the WA endearments of a wink every few seconds and a beaming smile.

 

As they turned the last corner and came out on a small plain, the sun glinted in OT's eyes from 142 pristine Dakotas.

 

"We call them in with our Mountain Calls" said  Ahulani (which means Sky Alter) "They don't always come, but sometimes they do"

 

OT was shaking, thinking that what he was watching couldn't be true and maybe what his mother had kept on saying was true and he'd gone blind, but when they arrived Ahulani started one up, and took him for a spin along the Kokoda Trail pointing out the places his grandfather had fought at.

 

"Don't worry, I'm IMC rated" said Ahulani as they cut through the cloud, "and have won three International Aerobatics championships" she continued as she pulled off impossible turns, finally settling back on the airfield and neatly parking next to the impeccably polished Dakotas.

 

OT had difficulty compehending; here was a Papuan Princess with a bone through her nose showing more skills than the AUF hierarchy and .................................

 

 

 

[Captain]

6 hours ago, turboplanner said:

OT had difficulty compehending; here was a Papuan Princess with a bone through her nose showing more skills than the AUF hierarchy and ...........

..... she was finally able to get through to OT on how to perform sideslipping without looking like a one-winged seagull, and she finally showed him how to stay on the centerline (or anywhere near the runway in OT's case) with crossed controls.

 

"F&$# crossed controls" OT said "I used to just get cross ...... and then do multiple missed approaches until the wind eventually lined up with the runway" OT confided. 

 

"She's fantastic, so I took her downtown for a coffee and croissant at the Bell Tower, before she addressed my other big coordination issue, which was that I ......

Edited September 22, 2023 by Captain

[bull]

1 hour ago, Captain said:

..... she was finally able to get through to OT on how to perform sideslipping without looking like a one-winged seagull, and she finally showed him how to stay on the centerline (or anywhere near the runway in OT's case) with crossed controls.

 

"F&$# crossed controls" OT said "I used to just get cross ...... and then do multiple missed approaches until the wind eventually lined up with the runway" OT confided. 

 

"She's fantastic, so I took her downtown for a coffee and croissant at the Bell Tower, before she addressed my other big coordination issue, which was that I ......

............was.............gay   , now this caused............

Edited September 22, 2023 by bull

[Captain]

2 hours ago, bull said:

............was.............gay   , now this caused............

....... some confusion, particularly when Onesie was quickly nominated to be the President & the Poster Child of LMBTQRST Australia (as he certainly does have "that" look about him).

 

However, OT quickly clarified the matter and stated "bull is confused by his lack of punctilliation & pronouns, as he actually nominated me as gay .......... meaning that I am optimistic, happy, carefree and have a cheerful, amusing and lighthearted manner."

 

bull was remorseful, having (on a public forum where the entire WA aviation community [there might even be 3] is watching) dropped OT well and truly into the .......

Edited September 22, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........spotlight.

This didn't go down well with the Papuan Princess and soon there was a hostile crowd milling around and stamping their feet.

As anyone knows, who has accidentally run over a pig or helped theselves to a paw paw drowing beside the road; there is a process and that process is very painfull.

 

As Ahulani looked on sadly, he could see the Papuans had decidei what to do to right the insult shown to their daughter. 

 

OT realised too, any other man would have soiled himself, but OT held on. Of course it helped that he'd been constipated for years.

 

The Bruho stelled forward, his Bird of Paradise plumes, from 42 different birds, glowed in the fading sunlight, and he pointed the bone at OT.

 

OT..........................

 

[Captain]

15 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

 

OT...........

...... looked at Bruho's withered bone and said " You are not supposed to use THAT bone, and get your hand off it".

 

Bruho apologized, looked embarrassed and it became clear that his hand was needed to ......

Edited September 22, 2023 by Captain

[bull]

20 minutes ago, Captain said:

...... looked at Bruho's withered bone and said " You are not supposed to use THAT bone, and get your hand off it".

 

Bruho apologized, looked embarrassed and it became clear that his hand was needed to ......

..........relocate this intruder. So he rose to his massive height of 6,6ft and ............

[Captain]

On 22/09/2023 at 6:42 PM, bull said:

..........relocate this intruder. So he rose to his massive height of 6,6ft and ............

.... this was not in proportion to his .....

[Captain]

23 hours ago, Captain said:

.... this was not in proportion to his .....

...... wizened ....

[turboplanner]

.....and wilted....

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.....and wilted....

.... ,yet somehow, still .....

[turboplanner]

....showing that..........

[Captain]

..... it could still get angry when .....

[onetrack]

..... it became obvious that neighbouring tribes were stealing his Yams. Few people understand the importance of Yams in the PNG culture, and the fact that they are regarded as the equivalent of gold in their society. Bruho wanted revenge on the Yam-stealers, and nothing is worse than a bout of PNG revenge - it leads to payback after payback, until the combatants forget what started the stoush.

 

To this end, Bruho came to see Turbo, who ran Armaments and Weapons Inc from a small office in Milne Bay. Turbos company here specialised in helping the natives sort out their grievances by arming them according to their requirements - and of course, according to how much they could pay. One Cowrie shell could be swapped for a decent machete, but two pigs got you a...........

[Captain]

1 hour ago, onetrack said:

One Cowrie shell could be swapped for a decent machete, but two pigs got you a...........

...... rrested if they found any evidence of your arms dealing.

 

Turbo, however, in his usual slick way, had established a good relationship with the police and he .....

Edited September 25, 2023 by Captain

[bull]

8 hours ago, Captain said:

...... rrested if they found any evidence of your arms dealing.

 

Turbo, however, in his usual slick way, had established a good relationship with the police and he .....

.even managed to get some lengths of pipe from the old police headquarters just up from the yacht club on the hill to the expats club in Port Moresby..the reason being for the local rascals to make home made shotguns with,, now this made him a bit of a hero in the eyes of the Daru and Moresby rascals and he was................

[Captain]

........ presented with a HUGE gourd that was painted in the rainbow colours, but also with a Vote YES sticker over the drain-hole in the end.

 

Turbo wore it with pride to the ........

[turboplanner]

......Highland Show.

 

Turbo had entered in the 100 metre dash, not being interested in the pig-eating competition.

The problem was the gourd had been made from an Itchypod Tree, and he was dancing around waiting for the start. When the starter fired his gun Turbo flashed out of the blocks and over ran the finish line by five miles, but at least he could take the gourd off and ........

[Captain]

.... give it all a good scratch  then rub savlon cream liberally on all the itchy bits.

 

To the natives, who were looking secretively through the Sawgrass, Turbo doing that looked like ......

Edited September 26, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

...,....he was devil devil worshipping which was banned in the highlands so they........

[bull]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

...,....he was devil devil worshipping which was banned in the highlands so they........

.gathered up some firewood and announced that the village in the highlands would have a community feast, with Turdo as the main course! Quick said OT hide in here as he pushed..................

[Captain]

7 hours ago, bull said:

.gathered up some firewood and announced that the village in the highlands would have a community feast, with Turdo as the main course! Quick said OT hide in here as he pushed..................

...... Turdo into the village pantry and gave him a full body massage (erky perky) with olive oil.

 

While Turdy is a little on the scrawny side, he is quality merchandise nevertheless, so the villages decided to use him as Hors d'Oeuvres on a bed of used palm fronds and yams that were a bit "off", to also be served with an astringent ......

Edited September 26, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

......sauce made from the lik lik vine.

Turbo walked along the trail with them pretening not to understand their language; the trail was a thousand feet above the Dakota field and eventually, three miles after they left Efogi Pass he could see the Daks glinting in the sun. Quickly grabbing a Lik Lik vine he swung himself out over the cliff and let go.

He surfed on top of the last trees before the bottom, grabbed another vine and neatly swing out to alight on the plain. The native coould only watch; it was taboo to touch the Lik Lik vine unless for cooking so they had a two hour walk to the bottom of the valley but by then Turbo had fuelled up a polished Dak started it, listening to the knock from the long stroke con rods of the radial engines which were often compared to Rotaxes these days, and Turbo was in the ir cruising to the sound of the Boogy Woggy Bugle Boy by the Andrews Sisters on the Daks on-board entertainment system.

 

As Lae came into view ......................

 

 

 

 

[Captain]

15 hours ago, turboplanner said:

As Lae came into view .......

..... Turbo flew one of his arrogant straight-in approaches with the music blaring & the radio on the wrong frequency (known in aviation parlance all over OZ, and now throughout PNG, as T's AS-IAs), scattering all the airline flights, and once landed in Lae he was given a lay and after such a long period of celebacy, and being on the menu in the Highlands, he went looking for a good la..........  

 

THE VERY LAY THAT TURBO WAS GIVEN ON ARRIVAL IN LAE.

(NOW KEPT UNDER LOCK AND KEY IN THE AUF HALL OF FAME)

Edited September 27, 2023 by Captain