The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

WARNING TO NES'ers .... Turdy may well be in Wreck Flying Jail (RFJ) based on a complaint from LatinAutor-UMPG for using an unauthoriesed video of the Andrews Sisters. Use care if associating with him until this is resolved.

Edited September 27, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

......Latte, but all they had was Betel Juice Bars, and that gave you black teeth followed by no teeth.

He wandered down to the RSL, kicking the rascals out of the way as he went.

As he walked in the door ................

[Captain]

.... he said "I fought on the Kokoda Trail".

 

"Fought dysentary and the runs from both ends, last week, when I accidentally strayed off the easy & flat Wooses Latte Trail, onto the steep and nasty ....

Edited September 27, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......ridgeback run. Not many people know that the Papuans didn't want either the Australians or the Japanese fighting in their gardens, so they appointed two clans, the Fuzzy Wuzzies who were to make handsome cash carting supplies to the Australians, and the Lik Loks who were tasked with making handsome cash carting supplies to the Japanese. In a cleverly orchestrated campaign, both groups provided guides who used separate trails north and south.

In his book "Kokoda", Paul Ham describes Australians on the EFoggi Trail, warned to absolute silence, looking down and seeing Japanes soldiers quietly walking in the opposite direction on the ENoFoggi Trail.

This extended the war by a year, and the Papuans were all driving Bentleys when supply became available after the war, and they even had some early ultralights with the effeminate Rotax Ski Doo engines flying through the ............

[Captain]

29 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

This extended the war by a year, and the Papuans were all driving Bentleys when supply became available after the war, and they even had some early ultralights with the effeminate Rotax Ski Doo engines flying through the ............

..... passes, in the mist @ IMC standards, up blind valleys, all under the influence of Beetle Juice and in an enlightened move, this was all done with the approval of the PNGUF, which considered that .....

Edited September 27, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........the bros shold be allowed to do what they like. "As you know", said Pelilok Matthews, Minister for Air, fatalities are way down on 1942, but we can still do better"

 

This was greeted by Club Members ......................

[onetrack]

.....with hoots and jeers and a few pieces of rotten fruit being thrown at Matthews. Matthews retreated to the adjoining room to clean himself and to decide what penalties and further restrictions needed to be applied, to what were obviously a bunch of hooligans and law-breakers.

 

Matthews returned promptly as the noise settled down, and he announced, "As it is obvious all you aviators are hooligans and untrustworthy, I as Minister, am going to introduce tougher rules and regulations and penalties for non-compliance in the PNGUF, which as it is rapidly becoming apparent, the group represents nothing more than rabble in the aviation community, and this needs to be......

[Captain]

9 hours ago, onetrack said:

Matthews returned promptly as the noise settled down, and he announced, "As it is obvious all you aviators are hooligans and untrustworthy, I as Minister, am going to introduce tougher rules and regulations and penalties for non-compliance in the PNGUF, which as it is rapidly becoming apparent, the group represents nothing more than rabble in the aviation community, and this needs to be......

..... encouraged as part of our construction of a Chinese Military Base via our Braces and Tracks Agreement, where the CCP are in a JV with Turbine Industries (TI), the PNGUF, and also with Turbine Missiles and Space Administration (TM&SA) where Lae will rapidly become a major space port and the TM&SA will rival SpaceX with their ......

 

 

 

(As a little bit of a confidential confession, Cappy advises that he is an admirer {and a bit of a Groupie] of Elon Musk and it has only recently become apparent to Cappy [he is a bit slow] that Turbo and Elon are so similar that they could be one and the same. If so, it would be a real coup for the NES if we have Elon posting here under Turdy's pseudonym]).

Edited September 28, 2023 by Captain

[Captain]

WRECK FLYING NEWS - It has been reported that Dan (The Man) Andrews was yesterday seen having a soy almond chai latte with a well known & dynamic, yet colourful but shady, business identity, and they were overheard to be discussing Dan picking up a role as Chairman of Turbine Industries.

 

Mr. TurbinePlonker was also overheard to use words to the effect of "This will help us get all the commy business.

Edited September 28, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......aimless space flights. We will price these flights for the PNG masses so eveyone can go up and see space. We might even find where the Silver Bird of Paradise comes from.

 

In the meantime we have ordered 500 new Elelctric Passenger Drifters so there will be no need for people aimlessly walking along trails any more.

 

We have also ordered 50 Electric Helicopters for PongPol, to catch the rascals and these will be armed with 20 mm cannons to save the problem of trying to land on trails or when rascals are sliding down hills. This will also save money for our Justice system and ................

 

[turboplanner]

WRECK FLYING NEWS

Cappy's report is correct, but please don't tell anyone; this is for members only.

Dan went into surgery at 5 pm Wednesday in preparation for his important mission to China.

There was no time to waste so he learnt the Mandarin language  while recovering and here's a photo o Dan ready for his new role.

 

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

Dan went into surgery at 5 pm Wednesday in preparation for his important mission to China.

There was no time to waste so he learnt the Mandarin language  while recovering and here's a photo o Dan ready for his new role.

And at the moment he is undertaking intensive Chinese lessons to allow him to clearly say :Please don't push me down the stairs again" (请不要再把我推下楼梯)

Edited September 28, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.... and at Dans' first conference as Chairman of TI said  "

我不是来谈论被推下楼梯的

Wǒ bùshì lái tánlùn bèi tuī xià lóutī de"          or "I'm not here to talk about being pushed down stairs, and I'm not......."

 

 

I

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited September 28, 2023 by turboplanner

[onetrack]

.....into that Belt and Road s*** any more, so please don't ever mention it again, in my presence. However, I do look forward to a new and productive relationship with the CCP, unfettered by petty Victorian politics, and to that end, I have decided that Turbine Corporation will be the Australian intermediary between my new position and the........

[turboplanner]

..alternative, which after my "Nuclear" blow-up in the Party Room on Wednesday which was about the same as the last shrimp when the Flamingoes arrived.

[Captain]

9 hours ago, turboplanner said:

..alternative, which after my "Nuclear" blow-up in the Party Room on Wednesday which was about the same as the last shrimp when the Flamingoes arrived.

 

The NES became terribly confused and troubled due to the lack of follow-on dots in Tubb's above post, but Crappy bravely decided to keep the thread going anyway. Crappy is a model member of Wreck Frying. -  MODERATOR 7.

And this is when Matthews chimed in again "Apologies honourable (sic) Dan but is your reference to Flamingoes referring to a renaming of those fine air-cooled Australian engines and FRP aircraft, or are you a ........

[onetrack]

......simply a huge Pinko, through and through! We can understand you not wanting to be seen as totally Red, but it's obvious that bright Pink suits you much better, and no-one could ever accuse you of being a........

[Captain]

7 hours ago, onetrack said:

......simply a huge Pinko, through and through! We can understand you not wanting to be seen as totally Red, but it's obvious that bright Pink suits you much better, and no-one could ever accuse you of being a........

....nything other than a .......

[turboplanner]

......RedShirt.

At this Dan's hackles rose and he went into a Nuclear hissy fit.

"You XXXXXXX XXX" he said to Pelilok "I'm not here to discuss shirts or colour" and continued on for about 30 minutes.

His mistake was that he wasn't dealing with the LBGTIP press of Mebourne, but a Papuan Highlander who still had a taste for the white pork.

Pelilok ...............................

[Captain]

...... said "That's Racist" and took him off to PNG"s Equal Opportunity Except That Some Are More Equal Than Others Tribunal (the EOETSAMETO), where .....

[Captain]

 Posted in error via excess enthusiasm.

Edited September 30, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....Chairman Dan was sentenced to 2 years Trail maintenance where he'd have to swim rivers and find his own food. Dan of course was the model for the Pieface Service Stations springing up all over Australia and Pelilok decided to use these images throughout the highlands as a warning to teenages of what they'd look like if they started eating betel nuts.

He was quietly replaced as Chairman, TI by .................

[Captain]

20 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.....Chairman Dan was sentenced to 2 years Trail maintenance where he'd have to swim rivers and find his own food. Dan of course was the model for the Pieface Service Stations springing up all over Australia and Pelilok decided to use these images throughout the highlands as a warning to teenages of what they'd look like if they started eating betel nuts.

He was quietly replaced as Chairman, TI by .................

...... Marky Mark McGowan (Turbo has a penchant for despots) who insisted that the TI conglomerate relocate to Perth and ........

[onetrack]

....start to provide a Voice to the marginalised Papua-New-Guineans, who now made up a sizeable proportion of the Australian population.

 

"But those people claiming PNG ancestry are only box-tickers!", exclaimed Turbo. "They don't have any more PNG ancestry than I do!"

 

"That's not correct", said Marky Mark, who had now assumed the position of Chief of the WA-PNG tribes, and who wore the Chiefs headdress with Bird of Paradise, parakeet and lorikeet feathers, to prove it.

"It's every persons right to decide what culture they choose to be part of, and the only thing we need today, is to ensure that they've ticked the box, so that they can..........

 

Edited October 1, 2023 by onetrack

[Captain]

2 hours ago, onetrack said:

 

"It's every persons right to decide what culture they choose to be part of, and the only thing we need today, is to ensure that they've ticked the box, so that they can..........

 

..... stick their snouts into the WA-PNG welfare system.

 

Marky M was proud of the system that he had developed "You can be as white as a Tip Top sandwich loaf but just say that you have 2% ......