The Never Ending Story

[bull]

11 hours ago, Captain said:

Turbo's above post was obviously extremely prescient and had been noted by Albo's idea spotters.

 

"What if we look at giving them $600 million" said Chris Bowen "As long as they sign up for Net Zero and I get container full of Bird-of-Paradise feathers to sell."

 

"Gweat idea Chwis" wepweid Albo, and the west is histowy.

 

Now back to the NES.

...............Turdo  and the Captain where both in a bit of bother over some cats escaping and going feral in Tasmania Australia....The local authorities had issued arrest warrants for them both and had informed interpol to scan international travellers to.......................

[Captain]

7 hours ago, bull said:

...............Turdo  and the Captain where both in a bit of bother over some cats escaping and going feral in Tasmania Australia....The local authorities had issued arrest warrants for them both and had informed interpol to scan international travellers to.......................

..... any jazz festivals as those were real cool cats who were originally members of the Don Burrows quartet, but had dumped Donny when they heard the tracks being penned by Turdy & Crappy, who were the new 21st century Rogers and Hammerstein, and who were putting together a new trad band, to be called the .......

[Captain]

On 18/10/2023 at 10:50 PM, onetrack said:

what to do about offensive personal odours"

As a long serving, and sniffing, close mate of Turbo, I can confirm to out thousands of NESers that when his pong is sometimes brought to his attention he just resorts to the Turbine family solution/tradition of cutting the arse out of his dungarees, thereby keeping the flies away from his face.

[turboplanner]

.....Outhouse Darktown Rumblers.

Their new song "There is nothing like a dame" was aimed at the aero industry and the lyrics had the Medical Board of Australia up in arms, defending its Members, but the problem was they couldn't go to the newspapers with the words.

 

But when Cappy sings "I'm in love with a wonderful guy"  the 22 million LBQTIW Australians are brought to tears.

 

When CT saw the word Don Burrows, he couldn't resist joining the band, and he sang a trad version of Bali'Hai. 

 

When he sang:

"Your own special Island, your own special land" the audience were moved to tears, but became confused by the next line "Filled with a million furry bunnies........................"

 

[turboplanner]

51 minutes ago, Captain said:

As a long serving, and sniffing, close mate of Turbo, I can confirm to out thousands of NESers that when his pong is sometimes brought to his attention he just resorts to the Turbine family solution/tradition of cutting the arse out of his dungarees, thereby keeping the flies away from his face.

Captain has raised an important part of Australia's history. There was a time when everyone did it. It was called crutching, and within a few years the process had been applied to sheep to prevent blowfly strike, which Turbo had battled with for years.

 

He had drawn the line at mulesing though.

 

[Captain]

5 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Captain has raised an important part of Australia's history. There was a time when everyone did it. It was called crutching, and within a few years the process had been applied to sheep to prevent blowfly strike, which Turbo had battled with for years.

 

He had drawn the line at mulesing though.

 

As a result of Turbo's endorsement, "Crutching" became very popular within the LMPTQRSTU community and Turbs gave regular talks & demonstrations.

 

(There was also some limited take-up in certain heterosexual Tasmanian rural communities ..... and DG were right into it, holding a festival the week before the Melbourne Cup)

 

The more adventurous tried mulesing and some seemed to adopt it as a lifestyle after buying donkey costumes.

Edited November 1, 2023 by Captain

[onetrack]

(As is common with his insubordinate style, the Jedi Rat has left us hanging on the story development, with a full stop! Where to now?, cried the NES'ers ... and as always, OT stepped up to the plate)

 

However the donkey costumes arrived looking more like zebra costumes - and what was worse, they came with a complete back end, so the mulesed members had no ability to show off their now, finely-tailored, hairless and wool-less and dag-less rears.

 

It was deemed by the mulesed members of the group that something had to be done about this lack of holes in the rear of the costumes, so as a result, a large pair of dressmakers scissors was acquired, and swiftly wielded by...........

[Captain]

..... Turbine Mulesing Contractors, who were a bunch of Kiwi shearers out of season, who ......

[Captain]

On 01/11/2023 at 2:05 PM, turboplanner said:

.....Outhouse Darktown Rumblers.

Their new song "There is nothing like a dame" was aimed at the aero industry and the lyrics had the Medical Board of Australia up in arms, defending its Members, but the problem was they couldn't go to the newspapers with the words.

 

But when Cappy sings "I'm in love with a wonderful guy"  the 22 million LBQTIW Australians are brought to tears.

 

When CT saw the word Don Burrows, he couldn't resist joining the band, and he sang a trad version of Bali'Hai. 

 

When he sang:

"Your own special Island, your own special land" the audience were moved to tears, but became confused by the next line "Filled with a million furry bunnies........................"

 

..... and then he played a solo guitar lick on a modified Sako 222 with strings attached to the stock. and a fretboard up the forend, which .....

 

Due to OTs previous reply to a comment, and not the main thread, the NES is now split asunder and this cannot be blamed on Cappy.

Edited November 2, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

......spoke with en excent end didn't cross their t's or .................

 

........gave it that 222 sound without the falling drub dealer thud and ..........

[onetrack]

.....to back up Cappy on the 3-stringed .222, OT arranged for his American cousin, Justin, to play his 3-string shovel guitar, so they could make up a proper Hillbilly duo, that brought tears to the eyes of the.......

 

(Justin playing his 3-stringed shovel)

 

 

 

[Captain]

14 hours ago, onetrack said:

.....to back up Cappy on the 3-stringed .222, OT arranged for his American cousin, Justin, to play his 3-string shovel guitar, so they could make up a proper Hillbilly duo, that brought tears to the eyes of the.......

 

(Justin playing his 3-stringed shovel)

 

 

 

..... audience, who had actually come to see Turbo play his cigar box banjo, while have a Turbine Cigar Company stogie shoved into his .....

[turboplanner]

.......left nostril and puffing the smoke out of his right nostril, as he told stories about the War.

 

We know NES readers won't tell anyone but Justin was actuall Justin Cook, the son of Cappy and was staring to become popular in the hillbilly towns of Tennessee. Cappy was torn; wanting Justin to join the Corporations he owned and eventially take over from him, as well as not trash the Cook name.

 

There was a family fight and Justin changed his name to Mel McDaniel, and the rest is history.

 

One night in Knoxville Tennessee................................

 

 

 

Justin doing what made him famous.

 

[Captain]

...... Ratty and Turdy snuck into the audience and all ......

 

[turboplanner]

hell broke loose when they joined in the chorus with some fruity Australian adjectives. Justin was mortified but that only made things worse and Cappy with a few gins under the belt (but not much else) decided to do a strip to "The Tennessee Waltz". You'd think there would be no equivalent to the foul-mouthed Mavis from Bone, but you'd be wrong and out from the audience stepped ........................

[Captain]

..... the Knocker from Knoxville, who with Tennessee Tina by her side, lined up to show the audience what the girls thought were the finest, purtest & largest 4 .....

Edited November 3, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

...assets.

Cappy, aided by the gin fell forward and his nose.........................

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

...assets.

Cappy, aided by the gin fell forward and his nose.........................

.... landed, quite accidentally don't ya know, right between ......

[turboplanner]

Mount Everest and K2, and Cappy couldn’t resist .......

[Captain]

26 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Mount Everest and K2, and Cappy couldn’t resist .......

.... a comment about their relative size, which increased the .....

[turboplanner]

......tension in the ..................

[Captain]

16 hours ago, turboplanner said:

......tension in the ..................

.... elastic in their  ......

[turboplanner]

.........faces. (self-administered from Turbine Beauty Corporation Reach Out Inc.)

Now, it might be a surprise for pre-Generation Y NES readers, but Turbine had noticed the fixed expressions on women who had botox added to their faces. No one knew what they were thinking so they quickly lost their friends. Turbine Elastic was one of TBCRO's products, branded "Vivacious" (The s was back to front but we won't worry about that here.)

Sometimes Vivacious sent the wrong message, especially when Cappy was around, and on this night the two Tennessee ...................................

[Captain]

.... lasses, while smiling & vivacious inside (and down below), actually looked like they were .....

Edited November 4, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

..............typing at 130 words a minute, or ..............