The Never Ending Story

[bull]

23 hours ago, turboplanner said:

he knew there was a problem. It was when Turbo probed “One of them’s having a birthday” and a cake came back with candles on it.

 Suddenly the folly he had embarked upon was.......................................

Edited November 13, 2023 by bull

[turboplanner]

.......front page news. It wasn't that someone was feeding cake to sheep because pommy farmers did that all the time,  the problem was the luck sheep got a telegram from the King....who would be visiting shortly and wanted to meet here at .....................................

[Captain]

15 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......front page news. It wasn't that someone was feeding cake to sheep because pommy farmers did that all the time,  the problem was the luck sheep got a telegram from the King....who would be visiting shortly and wanted to meet here at .....................................

..... some random commoner's farm so that he can prattle on about global warming, sheep's pharts damaging the ohhhhzone later, the great reset wank (GRW), the dangerous similarity between raisins & sheep poo when cakes are being baked, and .....

[turboplanner]

......then after the others had gone to sleep and Turbo stoked up the secret fire and the bodyguard brought out the red, he lowered his voice and said "One is expected to say those things of course.....and then started with "You know One refused to join the Club of Rome, which is based in Winterthur, Switzerland, not Rome, and is for the profit of a few, in particular Maurice Strong, not the good of all.

It came up with the Limits to Growth, and the Great Reset, where the scheme was to flow government taxes to the Nouveau Riche including Maurice.

"By the Rio Summit this evil man had come up the the War on Meat targetted directly at Western District Graziers, and Crisis Creation.  In their book 'The First Global Revolution', authors Alexander King, Bertrand Schneider ($652.00) on pages 104 and 105 they said: 

 

'In searching for a new enemy to unite us we came up with the idea of  pollution, threat of global warming, water shortages, famine and the like would fit the bill'

 

And so global warming was conceived and One wondered what to do about it. One had been paying the bill at Claridges for Nancy Wake for the past 25 years, so Maurice Strong left us, but ..................

 

 

[Captain]

..... then Chuck asked Turbo a question that even stunned Cappy, who has been Turbo's best mate and confident for the past 5 score years & 10.

 

Chuck continued on "They tell one that thee hast 2 aliases and that I am in the presence of true greatness. So prey do tell one, in complete confidence of course, do you really moonlight as the great globslists, Pope Francis and Bill Gates?"

 

Turbo was stunned, looked at Cappy (who was dressed as a Cardinal at the time ....., because black and red really suits him) and said "Blessed art those who have 365 ..... and Bishop Strickland just had to get the chop".

 

Charles looked at Camilla, who had always admired Turbo in an erotic way, even when he was just one persona, being the Turbo that we all know & love, and she said "FMD, Charles, so that means that .....

[turboplanner]

.......Turbo is one of the Illuminati Charles."

The King coughed and spluttered "Not necessarily......" and trailed off hoping to change the subject.

Turbo had become his mentor. In the early days it hadn't been easy for Turbo because the King was strong willed and the sessions usually finished with You Pommy Bastard!, but he was also a persistent student and learnt the secrets and ways of the Illuminati well; he would be a good King.

Years later he got out of the Royal car to mix with the crowd and some Australia from the back yelled out "The Poms can't play cricket!"  An English reporter  said "REALLY!" or something like that and Charles turned around and, laughing, said "Don't think I haven't been called a Pommy Bastard MANY times!" even though he wasn't supposed to talk about the meetings with Turbo or .........

[Captain]

55 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

 

Years later he got out of the Royal car to mix with the crowd and some Australia from the back yelled out "The Poms can't play cricket!"  An English reporter  said "REALLY!" or something like that and Charles turned around and, laughing, said "Don't think I haven't been called a Pommy Bastard MANY times!" even though he wasn't supposed to talk about the meetings with Turbo or .........

...... the fact that Chuck had converted to Catholicism so as to be able to follow Pope Turbo more closely, and had banned all other churches (except those dedicated to St Greta) within the Commonwealth.

 

He also made Windows 12 compulsory after Turbo/Bill made him aware that it was part of the WEF 2030 initiative. 

 

Given how powerful and devious/deviant are Turbo's triumverant powers, Chuck asked whether Tubb can do anything to sort out the red-head and Turbo offered to have him forcibly moved to either WA or Tazzy, which would be enough to break any rebellious .....

[turboplanner]

......thoughts put into that Royal head, so the GG ordered Albo to fly to Perth get a house for them in Peppermint Grove, appoint the redhead Non Executive head of the SAS and to order them only to shoot the enemy, buy him a Drifter [avref] with pretend machine guns and get Megan the job as Weather Girl in Perth TV.  
Albo started whining but .....

 

 

[Captain]

.... to cheer him up (a bit), Penny took him down to Chinatown for a feed and a ......

[turboplanner]

.......lecture on how to dress and behave in Australia, and how it was only going to end in tears if he insisted on being greeted when he arrives in Canberra with a brigade at attention and a General salute and inspection of the troops, straightening a tie here, drawing attention to a zipper there.

 

But Albo, as usual, knew better and one day ....................

[Captain]

25 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

 

But Albo, as usual, knew better and one day ....................

..... does not a Prime Minister make.

 

"I just really like dancing in colorful shirts" bleated Albo.

 

So Tony Burke and Chris Bowen joined them as inspiration, and with Turbo also retained to give his usual "How to be a Statesman" lecture, it was all primed to be a 5-some that would live on in infamy, and in Aussie political folklore, as the .....

Edited November 15, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......night of the short .......................

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

.......night of the short .......................

..... memory, as several indiscretions meant that Turbo had to don his white gear and provide many & varied absolutions,  before changing into his best nerdy clothes, and geeky look, to provide packets of predried maggots and grasshoppers for the desert.

 

"We not need your glasshoppers" said the bloke that owns the lestaulant "We got prenty of cockloaches".

 

Then the ultimate indiscretion occured when Turbo, still all nerded up, had too many chardies and started to entertain the group with his stories about Epstein Island and how Bill .......

 

 

Edited November 15, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......made money by addicting people to windows and then exploited 8 year old Romanian children by employing them to write the algorithms,  as anyone who has used Microsoft for business will attest.

Cappy.....

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......made money by addicting people to windows and then exploited 8 year old Romanian children by employing them to write the algorithms,  as anyone who has used Microsoft for business will attest.

Cappy.....

...... who can't even spell aligoricalithms, but who was a very bright and somewhat pretty child, still employs a sidekick to handle his computer activities. 

 

As Crappy so often says, stealing & modifying Elon’s saying "I didn't get past year 5, but some people who work for me did".

 

This rang a bell with both Onesie & bull, who both .....

[turboplanner]

.....had multiple degrees in computer architecture and hexagonal programming (OT also had a degree in Python, but he'd always been a bit of a snake), but no one could ever find out who exactly had worked for Microsoft, only that there would be a button in one corner of the screen for 15 years then it would change for the same command to be activated by clicking the ^ key.

Not many people know that Bill was the one who bought Loxie's Beercan. He asked if it would fly to an island and Loxie said it would fly anywhere and the deal was done for $3.5 million.

Little did Loxie know that decades later Bill was going to blame him for ........................

 

[onetrack]

.....the massive hack into the Heineken website, which MS had organised the website security for - whereby the hackers placed a fraudulent order for 3,000,000 cans of Heineken beer to be delivered to a remote island.

It was only after the delivery was done, (at huge cost to Heineken) that the payment was found to be fraudulent, and the listed recipient of the beer, named as "Loxie" on the manifest, could not be found - and in fact, appeared to be a fictitious character from some long-running story on a little-known aviation forum reportedly located in Australia.

 

Of course, when the fraud was discovered, and Heineken set out to recover the beer, it was all gone! - apparently flown out (avref) overnight in a clandestine operation.

 

Immediate Interpol investigations were to be launched into the fraud, and there was specially-targetted law-enforcement interest in also identifying and exposing numerous other shady characters, who could found on the aviation website story - and who used strange forum names, and claimed special knowledge, and amazing powers - and who also declared they had friendships with high-ranking and rich and powerful people.

 

It was becoming obvious this obscure website and long-running story was possibly all a front, for a multitude of players who were like chameleons, with an ability to change positions, relationships, and powers, in an instant - all of these being signs that not only was the long-running story outrageously unbelievable, but that it was being used for........

 

(And below, my friends, we have the now-sad story of MS bragging about how secure the Heineken site was - before the beer hackers sneaked in ......)

 

https://customers.microsoft.com/en-us/story/1476165856303568991-heineken-consumer-goods-microsoft-security?culture=fi-fi&country=fi

 

Edited November 16, 2023 by onetrack

[Captain]

10 hours ago, onetrack said:

 

It was becoming obvious this obscure website and long-running story was possibly all a front, for a multitude of players who were like chameleons, with an ability to change positions, relationships, and powers, in an instant - all of these being signs that not only was the long-running story outrageously unbelievable, but that it was being used for........

....... Turbo's/Francis's/Bill's attempt to build a Turbine Industries' based competitor for the World Economic Forum, so instead of WEF the new version is WF'sNES, which is catchy and should go far.

 

To promote this concept, Turbo/Francis/Bill requires every new member of WF to use the below as their avatar and to pledge allegiance to his .......

 

 

Edited November 16, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....beliefs in cat farming, Drifters, spark plugs and the NES.

T/F/B aka The Entity also has a lot of difficulty swallowing the outrageous fairy stories dreamed up by the United Nations. The photo shows The Entity's fingers at a recent meeting where the UN asked The Entity to join with the same Veto Powers as Russia and ...............

[Captain]

34 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.....beliefs in cat farming, Drifters, spark plugs and the NES.

T/F/B aka The Entity also has a lot of difficulty swallowing the outrageous fairy stories dreamed up by the United Nations. The photo shows The Entity's fingers at a recent meeting where the UN asked The Entity to join with the same Veto Powers as Russia and ...............

.... the Chair the UN's "Cats Have Human Rights" committee in a manner similar to the way Iran chairs the Women's Rights Committee.

 

Turbo didn't quite understand the subtleties of what was meant and when he dressed all his lady cats in burkas, Tony Guttieres said ".......

Edited November 16, 2023 by Captain

[Captain]

38 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

...... The Entity .....

..... is a triumverate, being Turdy, Frank and Billy, resides somewhere etherial & floating between Rome, Epstein Island and Moorabin.

The Entity is so spirit-like that it is requested by Interpol and the CIA to break wind periodically so that people will know when it is near.

[turboplanner]

.......is not all of those three people, but four people, some famous.

Somehow Interpol and CIA must have found out that Turbo, Cappy and Loxie were very accomplished at breaking wind and were now trying to limit the elusiveness of the Entity.

When they were at school together, after lights out Turbo, Cappy and Loxie would compete with each other for the longest break of wind, the squeakiest the deepest etc, and the distance of the wet ones.

This extended to evening Chapel, where Cappy started it with a perfect low E in tune with the organ played by the school music teacher who would rush the hyms a little and finish with a crescendo. Turbo eventually was able to produce a C and Turbo a high G, so when they let go at the end, the chord was in tune with the organ and no one noticed except for the massive odour. The problem came one night when the music teacher was away and the much less adventuous ended the hymn with a short chord. This left the sound of the massive fog horn from the rear, but this night Loxie was a bit more squeaky, and had a little accident just before the end and ................................................

 

[Captain]

..... this, thereafter was adopted as the school's "Footy Chant", which was way more popular and effective than that used by Man United or Port Adelaide.

In fact, Koshy got his idea for the Port Adelaide song after he heard a recording of Loxie's indiscretion and subsequently saw the photo of the mess he made, ..... although Koshy thought that the mess was what happened to the opposition, so when he found that it was self inflicted, he ......

[turboplanner]

.......was so unbalanced that he bought himself an ASIC card #avref, #mens shed, # TraumaCounselling, even though he didn't need one.

When one Old Member asked him why he bought it he said "Faeta".

Mishearing,  the OM said "You need to cut back on them sausages and the grog then!"

Koshy ......................................

 

 

 

[Captain]

..... then decided that this misunderstanding was too good an opportunity to miss, so he stood on one leg and let fly (avref) with a silent but deadly ......