The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

..............neat vegetable patches where they's dozed a garder with a D7 at the Footscray Cemetery.

The Italian Mafia had accelerated their progress and the Lebanese and Palestinians had them on the run, but as they entered .........................

[Captain]

14 hours ago, turboplanner said:

vegetable patches

These are similar to Nicotine patches but filled with the much stronger Essence of Cabbage. 

[Captain]

14 hours ago, turboplanner said:

..............neat vegetable patches where they's dozed a garder with a D7 at the Footscray Cemetery.

The Italian Mafia had accelerated their progress and the Lebanese and Palestinians had them on the run, but as they entered .........................

.... the Catholic cathedral they ..

[turboplanner]

.......stopped for a minute to grab the cash out of the fountain. (The "New Australians" as Tasmanians were now called, in line with the stubborn refusal to recognise any State other than "Mainland")

Tasmanians were always short of a dollar from the time they were paid a "penny a gross" for picking apples, and now with cash in ther pockets they hit the bars in .......................

[Captain]

24 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Tasmanians were always short of a dollar from the time they were paid a "penny a gross" for picking apples, and now with cash in ther pockets they hit the bars in .......................

..... extremis.

 

The TITS and most other persons from Taswegia have never been able to hold their grog (hence their high AUF [avref] accident rate & insurance premiums), yet ... and I offer bull here, as an example ..... they are able to hold innocent hospital coffee ladies ....

[turboplanner]

....in the palm of their hand so to speak. Not many people know that bull has an ability to absorb huge pain while carryin on. (We apologise for that unfortunate term, perhaps "while fighting in the trenches" would be better.) and during recent major surgery during post covid, when there was not enough anaesthetic to go round because they had to gas anti vaxxers to give them just a tiny shot, bull had talked Cynthia, a well endowed nurse to sneak him a glass of Queensland bundy while the surgeons were cutting. At one stage it looked like a race between Cynthia and the Surgeons cutting his mouth away, but bull just said "Leave It!"  in that slow Queensland ......................

[Captain]

.... laconic, ssllooowww, 1950's, 98% humidity (the humidity, oh the humidity), croc dodging, croc wearing, Jo & Flo loving, .......

[Captain]

As a small insightful aside for all NESers (avref) and in particular for our hoards of international readers, bull (avref) rang Cappy (previous avref) yesterday to push back against the recent Qld (hicksvilleref) and Tassy (even more hicksvilleref) criticisms, and to discuss the current  proposal that Melbournistan be renamed to Naarn (being the name that the socalled "1st Nation" used (meaning "Small midden & Dunny in a swamp").

 

{With a purpose of apportioning blame, Cappy is still trying to deduce which of the present 389 aboriginal Mobs (Nations) was the First, and therefore who was the Mob, & the actual bloke, that wiped out [extinguished] all the Diprotodons}

 

Cappy thought that this new name just referred to his favourite Indian bread, but bull reckons that it is an aboriginal shortening of the word "Narnia", because he thinks that Turbo (ancient avref), and most Melbournistanians are always off with the fairies (bull cited a reference, as he always does when his discussion points are often very well researched, being the recent Melbournistan voting patterns).

Edited November 29, 2023 by Captain
A vain attempt to make it entertaining

[turboplanner]

........way that attracts more Victorians to move there each time someone says something in Queensland.

They never master the intonation, syntax, and emphasis on certain words though and Queenslanders are quick to identify this and passive reject them aye.

 

Sometime they just don't understand though, like once when Turbo was at a function with a Queensland mate and, just having a bit of fun, said "Have you heard about the scandal in the Logan Council. His mate innocently said "No, what's happened?" (His sister was a Councillor). "Well apparently, one of the female Councillors has been caught moonlighting as a prostitute" Turbo said "Who was it?" asked his mate, some urgency creeping into his voice. "I can't remember" said Turbo, I think her name might have been Shelley."

"That's my SISTER!" he replied and.................

[Captain]

.... looked in his wallet to see how much cash he had, so that he could ....

 

[turboplanner]

.......post security guards on every likely corner.

"Queenslanders just don't understand" chimed in bull who not so long ago became a new Tasmanian and since the collision was fitting in well as a New Australian and wore a T shirt saying "Bone is BS!", and in the firelight told a story that had all the under-wing campers [avref] reaching for their lucky teddy bears.

It was about a group of ...............................

 

 

[Captain]

6 hours ago, turboplanner said:

It was about a group of ........

 

.... Groupies and amateur prostitutes who .....

[turboplanner]

....were enigmatic and admitted it.

They lived in a Unit on Horseshoe Bay beach an all were members of the HBSLSC having earned their bronze medallions early in life.

An old croc lived ip near the Point. He didn't worry anyone and they didn't worry him.

One night just as Jill was going for her nightly walk to the Point a thunderstorm hit. The trees turned that eery green and thrashed around. Suface water started splashing down from the town. The wind was shrieking and .........................

[Captain]

..... so was bull, because Jill is his ....

[turboplanner]

...minder.

"What the XXXX were you doing lying down there she shrieked. I thought you were the CROC!!!!!"

Just then .......

Edited December 2, 2023 by turboplanner

[Captain]

..... legal documents arrived from Elon Musk stating that Jill must henceforth stop using 4 of Elon’s trademarks each time she says .....

[turboplanner]

....."gfy", turns and says "gfy", turns and says "gfy" turns her eyes upward and looks at bull.

Elon also cautioned her about sticking wheels on a garbage bin lid using "No More Nails" from Bunnings and passing them off as utes.

 

Jill was a lawyer who graduated from UNSW, and we know what they're like once they get their hooks into you

 

She wrote a legal letter which read "............................

 

 

[Captain]

..... "As much as I respect the law, why don't you go and get well & truly XXXXed".

 

This wording had been checked and approved by Turbine Turbine and Turbine, attorneys at law, so it was not surprising that .....

[turboplanner]

Jill received a very quick from a mortally affected Elon complaining of gender bias and .................

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Jill received a very quick from a mortally affected Elon complaining of gender bias and .................

..... asking if she was volunteering to do the .....

[turboplanner]

........never ending PR work until his gender had healed.

Jill asked him what she had to do.

"It's easy" he said "We have 17 PR events per day around the world releasing our new truck " he said.

"You will meet some hostile people becaise it costs twice as much as we said it would; we had to cut the body so we're selling it with innner shell only and some people aren't happy with that and it can't pull the skin of a rice pudding, but otherwise it's OK; people will get used to it. They didn't like T Model Fords either with their crank handles, black paint and packing case floors stencilled 'Coffs Liver Pills'.

All you have to say when a question is asked is "GFY" - we're getting 3.7 million views a day of me saying it".

Jill ...............

 

[Captain]

.... thought about it, then decided to give her brother a call, as bull is "all knowing" and .....

[turboplanner]

.....can take Elon off perfectly, batting his eyelashes, turning his head, nodding except that he doesn't quite get the GFY right, and comes across as quite coarse which often causes fights to start, like the night he ...............

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

.....can take Elon off perfectly, batting his eyelashes, turning his head, nodding except that he doesn't quite get the GFY right, and comes across as quite coarse which often causes fights to start, like the night he ...............

.... had the idea to take on SpaceX (sortofavref) at his Tasmanian Space Port.

 

The crowd was huge, (each paying $50) .... as the rest of Tasmania was closed, as usual, that night. 

 

bull even put on a grand fireworks display (his well known gfd) ahead of the launch (avref) using a heap of tuppeny bungers and a bunch of Golden Lion Happy Music skyrockets that had warped sticks (which was the reason for the insurance claim).

 

As bull tried to shepherd the crowd out they asked about the launch.

 

"that was it" replied bull "didn't you see the finale with the big .....

[turboplanner]

......bang?"

"It's always like that" said Jill quietly. "One day .................................