The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

........get in old Holden utes (they can't afford Kombis in WA) go down to the beaches (carefully watching for sharks), and start groping, which is an ancient form of fishing when the fish aren't biting.

 

There were different levels of sand groping and different techniques when the beach was rocky. Of course when there were sharks around there was a lot more to lose and ....................

 

 

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

..... There were different levels of sand groping and different techniques when the beach was rocky. Of course when there were sharks around there was a lot more to lose and ........

..... therefore the groping sped up, and all were careful that there was no blood-in-the-water so that .....

[turboplanner]

........wayward sharks didn't join in.

This didn't happen often, but the group had a fleet of Drifters painted blood red tasked with keeping watch over WA beaches from Darwin to Point Leo.  The fleet advertised with the slogan "Doors never fly off our aircraft!), but it backfired when the switchboards and FB pages were jammed with 3.2 million requests from around the world from people wanting to fly by Drifter. One person even .....................

[CT9000]

......thought that he would get a Valiant panel van from the '70s.......

[Captain]

14 hours ago, CT9000 said:

......thought that he would get a Valiant panel van from the '70s.......

..... which would be the talk of the town in Peppermint Grove, where he was looking for support and equity investment for his concept of a fiberglass Drifter, which has potential to ......

[turboplanner]

.....be sold all over the world into the airline industry. Fortunately there were none left in any parts store or wreckers in Australia, they had all rusted out even tough tey had been kept off the floor nd indoors. In fact according to Car Spotters Association of Australia there were only 27 in the whole car park still running; 7 in Maree, 5 in Alice Springs, 8 at Nhulunbuy, 3 at Derby, and 4 at Borroloola, but none of these had mudguards.

The Drifters would have to be all figreglass, with ...................

[Captain]

25 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

The Drifters would have to be all fibreglass, with .......

..... a specially strengthened empennage. that would be certain to .....

Edited January 8 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....cause problems on landing, but  the cynical One person said "We don't care; we make em, they fly out, and they have to make sure they don't breack em; the warranty is 1375 feet, the length of the runway.

 

Soon WA had a reputation worse than China's; in fact many people in the east were saying "They're just like Chinese cars", and sales began to slow down.

 

In stepped ...........

 

[Captain]

..... one of WA's most influential citizens, a mixture of Alan Bond, Lang Hancock, Prince Leonard, Marky Mark, Uncle Arthur, Russell Coit, and Bob DeCrespine.

 

"G'day suckers" he said "And welcome to ......

[CT9000]

......my marina ( a Morris ref. ) .....

[onetrack]

......which is the latest aviation design on offer from W.A. and it's based on outstanding Boeing principles (at this point, a smart-alec journo interjected with, "Oh, you mean profits before safety?" - but he was ignored and was hustled away before he asked more awkward questions).

 

"Furthermore", the speaker went on, "thanks to my wide business connections, we will also be able to offer a fabulous finance package to assist would-be marina buyers to get their marinas at low initial cost!" (note the lower-case "marina" name, as CT uses the same cheap keyboard as bull does, and even went to the same typing school).

 

"Just WHO is this bloke, anyway?", said a keen aviator in the assembled crowd. "Don't you know?, said another. "Of course, he's not well known amongst West Australians either, as he keeps a very low profile, but his track record is outstanding in his fields, which cover everything from mining to finance to aviation, and even shipping!

 

However, he does have some opposition from some quarters, and especially from the East Coast, where there's at least two ar**holes who............

 

 

 

Edited January 9 by onetrack
addendum....

[turboplanner]

...........question everything he does (or that they know about; he's a well known fruit runner from ............)

 

[Captain]

11 hours ago, turboplanner said:

...........question everything he does (or that they know about; he's a well known fruit runner from ............)

 

.... Griffith who grows that "fruit" with the green leaves & the distinctive smell.

 

He then turned to that CT of a bloke and said "Hang on to that marina, mate ...... and we'll also need you to buy another good one for use up in the DG Sacred Streams, as I have a Drifter Amphibian on the drawing board with the design under final review by the original Dr Ifter himself. This one will also be designated after his son Mark and his other daughter Vi. It will be test flown next week by Turdy, known locally as the Chuck Yaeger of the Southern Cross, and after that we will be ........

Edited January 9 by Captain

[turboplanner]

......in the transport business. So CT who'd read about NASCAR starting on Daytona Beach where the moonshine boys from Tennessee, after they'd outfoxed and outrun the Revenuers and their shotguns would eye off the chicks and bribe them with their paychecks, and race their tankers; Fords and Chevies stock standard looking from the outside, but full race V8's up from and with built in tanks from the back of the front seat through the boot to the rear where they had dump valves just in case the Revenuers looked like they were catching them.

 

CT rebuilt his Marinas with hot Subaru motors and put fruit bins in the rear, and the runs to Sydney became legend, with drivers like "WA" One Track and Planey. Of course today the drivers would be Moshina Singh, and Prahad Singh, or .........................

[Captain]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Of course today the drivers would be Moshina Singh, and Prahad Singh, or ......

.... the negative member of their family, Idontwanna ........

[turboplanner]

......which quickly changed to Idowanna if there was a dollar in it.

 

And so Idontwanna was chosen to be the lead marina in the first fruit run from Griffith to Melbourne.

"Be natural" they said, just act naturally and you'll be right.

 

As Ido filed up with fuel in the local servo he said "How do you do, my good man to the Albanian servo attendant who gave him a grunt in return. He realised he might have said something wrong. As he drove through Darlington Point he gave a native woman a big wave and a smile.

 

"He's up to something" said Constable Redface.

Leading Constable Cook just touched his Taser to reasuure himself.

 

They came out from behind the tree at full throttle, which for the Camry was more a hope than a response, and were laughing at the old marina when two plumes of smoke came off the rear wheels and it was out of sight in 30 seconds. They ......................

 

 

 

 

[Captain]

5 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

They .......

..... thought that they may have misremembered the power plants & power to weight ratios of BMC vehicles from the 70's, so googled it again on the police network.

 

The feedback said .....

Edited January 9 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....." Of all the cars in all the world this is the slowest."

 

Leading Constable Cook requested, and got, (he had relatives in high places) a BMW turbo diesel SUV. A quick phone call to a V8 Supercar driver would have indicated they were going backwards.

 

Two days later the Marina passed through Darlington Point again and Ido was again waving and nodding his head to the natives, acting naturally. Five of them waved their hands and pointed to the tree. They had no love for Constable Redface.

 

Ido saw the BMW but pretened he hadn't noticed, but just as the BMW caught up he floored that small block Chevy engine which had beome a legend, and disappeared in a cloud of blue smoke.

 

"The Constables pulled over "Why did they give us THIS!" moaned Redface, "we won the war but these people are doing it to us again!"   It was quiet for a while, then....................

[CT9000]

.....the poor police motorcyclist turned up all battered and bruised bleeding everywhere, "what happened to you" asked the cuntstable. "I was chasing a Morris Marina but he left me so fast that I thought I had stopped and got off to have a look"......

[turboplanner]

...which is not a good idea at 125 km/hr and scorched my jeans on the bitumen." So he radioed in; 

Vicpol were alerted and they hatched a plan to stop the Marina with their Hyundai pursuit vehicles posted on all highways into Melbourne.

This didn't work because..................

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

...which is not a good idea at 125 km/hr and scorched my jeans on the bitumen." So he radioed in; 

Vicpol were alerted and they hatched a plan to stop the Marina with their Hyundai pursuit vehicles posted on all highways into Melbourne.

This didn't work because..................

.... while the Hyundais came with a concrete 17 year warranty, they had all experienced brake failures.

"FAIR wear & tear" said the Hyundai bloke "And once they hit the concrete in the showroom, the warranty is over, so .....

[turboplanner]

....Vicpol guys can be vindictive at times, such as when you tell them you weren't drag racing, you just sneezed as the lights turned green and your foot slipped. They missed their V8 Supercar spec Commodores and this overseas stuff was getting under their skin, so every one of them booked his Hyundai in for a complete brake replacement on the same day throughout Victoria. The Parts guys salivated at the money to be made from these stooges and even charted a FedEx aircraft to fly all the parts down from SK (as we in the industry call it).  Then all the cops in all the towns cancelled their bookings the night before and they all used Larry Backflip, an ex V8 Supercars mechanic who modified the Commodore system to suit.

 

This of course set back their hopes of catching the Marina, which left Grifith at the same time every night, waved to the same Natives who started lining up by the side of the road to watch him go past, blew away the odd NSW Highway Patrolman, and unloaded at an undisclosed location in Melbourne.

 

Meanwhile the Vicpol guys had decided to use their SWAT Helicopter painted in camo as the chase car.

 

"We'll catch him on those long straights into Henty" said .......................

 

 

[Captain]

..... the VicPol chopper pilot without knowing that the Henty Field Days were on. (He had been promoted to fly the chopper based on his success during covid with catching and bashing little old ladies, and for his excellent batten technique which hurt but didn't leave too many marks).

 

The Henty FDs are bigger than Oshkosh and have their own bushy ATC, which called him up and said "G'day copper chopper "Filthy Traps 1", we have you on radar but not visual, so what's the go mate?" to which he replied "We are camouflaged light blue with clouds, and that is the general idea, plus .....

[turboplanner]

.......we're all wearing underarm deodorant too.

The Bushy ATC, who came from Griffith and moonlighted as ............................

[Captain]

58 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......we're all wearing underarm deodorant too.

The Bushy ATC, who came from Griffith and moonlighted as ............................

..... an overnight shelf packer at Woolies, then asked .....