The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

....the ill-fated Boxer powered Subaru called the Newvita.

The words were:

"Don't cry for me Riverina, I didn't buy one"

"I didn't ...................."

 

[Captain]

On 18/01/2024 at 6:11 PM, turboplanner said:

....the ill-fated Boxer powered Subaru called the Newvita.

The words were:

"Don't cry for me Riverina, I didn't buy one"

"I didn't ...................."

 

.... want one, the truth is I never liked one"

 

Then the crowd responded "What's the buzz, tell us what's happening, what's the buzz, Caiaphas?"

 

Loxie then responded with some stuff about a Parsiphical cat wearing a dream coat while standing at the barricades speaking french and feeling Les Miserable ....... so the crowd immediately switched off and went back to concentrating on topless chick's, XXXX, who has the best swag, and .....

Edited January 21 by Captain

[onetrack]

.....who did the best doughnut burnout after skolling 11 cans of XXXX, straight. Despite the disappointing crowd response, Loxie tried once again with his story telling, yelling out, "and here we have the amazing technicolour d....." - but before he could go any further, he was cut off with a roar from the crowd, as they turned as one, fully expecting to see a huge technicolour yawn - but the expectant roar turned to an angry roar, as they all suddenly realised it wasn't a "biggest spew" competition, it was only some old geezer who looked like he was wearing a crocheted quilt, and who..............

 

(Dear NES'ers, OT takes his hat off to Cappy for inventing the winning "new word of the week", with his "Parsiphical" contribution, which must have taken some time, along with a dictionary and a thesaurus, to "dream" up.....)

[Captain]

2 hours ago, onetrack said:

(Dear NES'ers, OT takes his hat off to Cappy for inventing the winning "new word of the week", with his "Parsiphical" contribution, which must have taken some time, along with a dictionary and a thesaurus, to "dream" up.....)

While your Crappy is a great bloke, dear NESers, he does not deserve this adoration from his Sand Groper colleague (ohh the sand, the sand) as Crappy fell asleep while trying to remember the names of Andy's cat characters, after Crappy originally didn't enjoy the performance and spat the furball so did not go back after intermission). This just shows that if Andy didn't have a Parsiphical Cat as a character, then he should have.

Edited January 21 by Captain

[Captain]

3 hours ago, onetrack said:

 it was only some old geezer who looked like he was wearing a crocheted quilt, and who..........

...... had crocheted undies that were threadbare because .....

[turboplanner]

......didn't feel as much pain when he landed on it after a few gins.

The crocheted man, whose name was Davy Crochet sidled up and looked at the Beercan.

"I started this you kneau." he said in a faux upperclass English. "Flew before there was a Bunnings and we had to MAKE each part. Fuselage was a length of 2 inch aluminium pipe. Power was a Victa lawnmower. Those were the days when REAL MEN flew Ultralights. I was in the inaugural Committee of the Australian Ultralight Foundation."

"Fly it then" said Loxie who was badly miffed that he hadn't been recognised as one of the Great Flyers of the new era or a Fire Captain.

The old geyser started the engine, bounced it off the back of the trailer with a burst of throttle, took off between the posts down the road and started an aerobatics routine from ground level.  It was magnificent, with hammerhead stall after hammerhead stall after, well he had to pull out of the fifth one after he scraped the road with the fourth, but ...........................

Edited January 21 by turboplanner

[Captain]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

The old geyser started the engine, bounced it off the back of the trailer with a burst of throttle, took off between the posts down the road and started an aerobatics routine from ground level.  It was magnificent, with hammerhead stall after hammerhead stall after, well he had to pull out of the fifth one after he scraped the road with the fourth, but ......

...... that type of thing is the heart, soul & tradition of the DYM, so he just HAD to give it a go, with the chance of becoming a DYM Legend. He therefore pushed the throttle lever thingy even further through the firewall (you can do that in a beercan because of the wonderful properties of aluminimium), and the crowd gasped as the beercan lifted and clawed its way skyward like an FA18 at the Grand Prix, so when .....

[turboplanner]

.......Davy Crochet finally brought it in for a three pointer (forgetting it had a nose wheel), there was a crowd of hundreds in utes beside the road cheering. One of the Ute Muster babes got up on a Commodore Ute and ripped her T shirt off but no one was interested any more, they just shouted Davy! Davy! Davy!

Loxy quickly signed Davy up to an Appearance Contract (Loxy could be astute some times), and charged them all five dollars a look. 

 

The crowd didn't care, they wanted more of Davy, so they all threw in for a jerry can of fuel and Davy.............

 

 

 

 

[CT9000]

.....then admitted that the aero routine was not planned he was actually trying to work out how to control pitch with power seeing as the elevator was jammed with an empty bottle......

[turboplanner]

.......of Wagga Wagga Draft.

He ......................

[Captain]

6 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......of Wagga Wagga Draft.

He ......................

..... was .....

[onetrack]

........trying to read the POH at the same time as he was trying to remove the Wagga Wagga Draft bottle from the elevator - but every time he moved the........

[turboplanner]

bottle the POH fell down, and that was 678 pages!

In desperation he struck a match ....................................

[Captain]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

bottle the POH fell down, and that was 678 pages!

In desperation he struck a match .......

..... and radiod to Ahlox "G'day Loxie ..... Your face and my .......

[onetrack]

.......POH are looking much alike - wrinkled, ragged-looking, seems to be always face-down, and it gives nothing away". Loxie replied, "that's right, I've been............

[turboplanner]

....carrying the burden of being a fire Captain for years now, and it takes its toll. You tell someone to point a hose at the seat of the fire and twenty minutes later it's pointing at a chick across the road in a nighthie, or you tell someone to connect all the hoses up and he's going from house to house turning all their water on.

 

Once when we were helping out in Grong Grong ...............

[Captain]

11 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Once when we were helping out in Grong Grong ....

..... my trusted lieutenant put his hose in a .....

[turboplanner]

......wombat hole while fighting a grass fire beind the Pub.

Why he did that when it was the grass that was on fire may nevet be known, but after 30 minutes the fire had spread to 2.2 square kilometers and the hole wasn't going anywhere, or so we thought,but then the side of the hill liquefied and slid down through GG as the locals call it.

Under normal circumtances this would have been no loss, but in an old shed was the original Facet Opal, almost the original Ultralight and a cornerstone of the AUF in its day.

It was now f.....................

[Captain]

33 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

......wombat hole while fighting a grass fire beind the Pub.

Why he did that when it was the grass that was on fire may nevet be known, but after 30 minutes the fire had spread to 2.2 square kilometers and the hole wasn't going anywhere, or so we thought,but then the side of the hill liquefied and slid down through GG as the locals call it.

Under normal circumtances this would have been no loss, but in an old shed was the original Facet Opal, almost the original Ultralight and a cornerstone of the AUF in its day.

It was now f.....................

..... rustratingly for the a europeans, and for the Darraweit Guimians, called a Fright Design CnT 101 .....

Edited January 23 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......but no one really knew what the correct name was because of Threads on WF dating back 15 years where Member after Member posted that the designation was wrong and it was a 101C rG orF depending on where he was from.

When a Member who was a journalist chimed in and said "Why not make it simple and just call it a Cessna he was torn to pieces by the outrage and in the thousands of angry posts they ran out of letters and started quoting things like 101 A1360831423788940 (modified), and that attracted worldwide comment adding further changes, and the old FO value reached a high of US$3 million.

 

The owner wouldn't sell on principle; he said it belonged in GG, but now the fire was racing towards that little shed, still intact but with a lean caused by that slide and it was Loxy's job to .........................

 

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

The owner wouldn't sell on principle; he said it belonged in GG, but now the fire was racing towards that little shed, still intact but with a lean caused by that slide and it was Loxy's job to .........................

 

..... enter the shed to remove the 7 x 44s of avgas, the 12 x 10 kg bottles of propane, the 40 pallets of stolen cans of "Start ya Bastard" and the ......

[turboplanner]

........adjustable spanner and ball peen hammer engraved with "Wagga Motors".

 We talk about the selfless bravery if our soldiers at Gallipoli, but the sight if that brave fire Captain going back into that shed time after time carrying 200 litre drums of avgas with the flames licking around his boots, throwing them into the dam, and then with the flames at knee-height carrying four bottles of propane and throwing them in, one of the second lot's FSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! as it blew speeding him up considerably, and after all that, thoughtfully carrying the pallets of Start ya Bastard over his head.

The last one exploded just as it went under the surface and the shock wave set off all the other explosive materials, thus, like Jesus, supplying the fairies firers with a lunch of redfin.

 

One of the bystanders asked "Where did you put the OF334c5?"....................and he said "What OF334c5?" and......................................

[Captain]

.... as the shockwave knocked them base over apex he said, surprisingly calmly, "Oh, that .......

[CT9000]

.....may be the least of our problems as he looked over at the very pissed off wombat coming out of his now flooded home......

[turboplanner]

...and looking around, ran up the first thing he saw which was Loxy’s leg. Ahlocks.........

Edited January 23 by turboplanner