The Never Ending Story

[bull]

On 21/02/2024 at 11:20 AM, turboplanner said:

.......Charters for this was the first tower Joh had kocked down.

This enraged the Charters Towers Progress Association because they had been advertising the towers as "The 12 Apostles" and tourists by the thousands used to visit Charters Towers (God knows, there was nothing else to see there), and they "mobilised". Not many people know the saying "Hell hath no fury than a woman scorned" was adapted for a modern Play from an older saying "Hell has no fury than a Western Queenslander scorned." and this was the beginning of Joh's downfall which ended ......................

..on some peanut farm out Kingaroy way,,,My how the mighty had fallen and the sound of the thump at the bottom was.....................

[onetrack]

.......the sound of $736,000 bound up in large notes, hitting the floor as the contents of the bribery bags were tipped out. "I - I - I - You - You - You .....feed the chooks!, feed the chooks!!" said Jo as he......

[Captain]

..... looked at Russ Hinze & his mate Turbo, for guidance, about which they said ....

[bull]

9 minutes ago, Captain said:

..... looked at Russ Hinze & his mate Turbo, for guidance, about which they said ....

...Iwasaki would know what to do,as the money bag thumps got loader and more frequent. Old Iwasaki said.......................

[turboplanner]

.........build a resort san.........build a resort san.........invite all the .........

[onetrack]

.....white shoe brigade, and make sure there's a decent airstrip (long overdue avref) to cater for the white shoe brigades aircraft!!"

 

Turbo said, "I know a bloke, who knows a bloke, who's mates with a bloke in W.A., and this W.A. blokes earthmoving experience is legend! Don't take any notice of the official story about the Govt and the Air Force Construction squadrons building airstrips, it was all made up! This bloke actually started building all of Australias important airstrips before WW2 started, and when the War started, he simply sold them to the Govt, and cleaned up big-time!

Then when the Yanks arrived, he sold more and bigger airstrips to them, as well! - and they paid even better than the Australian Govt! And the cream on the cake was, when the Yanks went home at the end of the War, he bought all the airstrips back for a song, at the Commonwealth Disposals Commission auctions!"

 

"Who is this broke?", inquired Iwasaki - "and is he immediately available?"

"I can't reveal his name publically", said Turbo conspiratorially, bending down low to Iwasaki's ear. "But what I can tell you, is.................

[turboplanner]

....that airstripper is none other than"..............but before he could get it out the local constable said "Turbo, I'm arresting you for revealing it in a Public Place."

 

The press went wild; all their stories starting "We can't say where this came from, but he was a distinguished gentleman of English line sometimes in the clutches of the Golbeys, but seems to have unmasked Mr Turbo at last and wehave been told .................

 

[bull]

11 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....that airstripper is none other than"..............but before he could get it out the local constable said "Turbo, I'm arresting you for revealing it in a Public Place."

 

The press went wild; all their stories starting "We can't say where this came from, but he was a distinguished gentleman of English line sometimes in the clutches of the Golbeys, but seems to have unmasked Mr Turbo at last and wehave been told .................

 

........this might have something to do with the construction of a migrant camp on Great keppel island,[old iwasaki had always had his eyes on it!] .that had been 3 times over.................

[turboplanner]

....through the Resort >boom>bust, Backpackers > boom > bust and Ute Musterers' Winternats boom > bust.

Turbo had been quietly picking up coral from the Reef (the scientists had been reporting the bare patches as proof of global warming) and he now had 42 square kilometres of reef around Great Keppel and was about to start flying in the nouveau riche Chinese tourists for $3,450 per night. The only problem was ................

[onetrack]

........some nosey Chinese tourist asked where all the vast area of coral had suddenly appeared from, as it wasn't in any earlier photos taken by his friends? In a strange turn of events, this Chinese tourist failed to return from one of Turbo's organised diving tours, and the disappearance was listed as "misadventure" in the resultant inquiry, so the question went unanswered.

 

The Chinese started turning up in ever-increasing numbers, which led to the media reporting on the Chinese tourism boom, and what a major effect it was having on revitalising the Qld economy.

In fact, it was getting to the point where nearly every Qld Tourism brochure was being written primarily in Chinese and the English translation was only in small print on the bottom.

 

However, when Turbo made application to rename the area, "Heavenly Gold Treasure Coral Garden", and a protectorate of China, the ordure really hit the jet fan, and..........

[turboplanner]

.....the people of Rockhampton hired buses to travel to Canberra, took the Parliament House lawn from the New Aborigines with a volley of their local pies which were hard as rocks, and demanded Albo give them Electric Lights and a Telephone Exchange, just like the HGTCG which in a clever move invited all locals to a Happy Hour every day with free drinks, free food and gambling. The gambling paid for the food and drinks and the Heavenly Gold Treasure Coral Garden was able to offer Recreational Aviation flights, formerly only available to rich people, at reduced rates and this is where ...............

[Captain]

.... the working classes wondered whether they had died and gone to heaven, all except for the .....

[Captain]

On 18/02/2024 at 10:32 PM, onetrack said:

(dear NES readers - I take it you'll understand that Cappy, being a resident of a particularly backward and slow area of NSW - namely the Southern suburbs of Wagga Wagga - means that he's also pretty slow on keeping up with many developments - especially as regards the development speed of the NES - so I trust you'll cut him some slack, for running an hour behind the last posting on the NES ......)

This post by the UniRoot (onlyeverhadoneref) is vicious and shows how good & worthy, but chip-on-the-shoulder, WA mates can turn on easterners without warning, such that Crappy feels like the NES no longer offers a safe space in which he can hide from his numerous enemies. Just say'n. 

Edited February 24 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........ex RAAF dudes who still cultured 1915 moustaches and had big ears.

They usually flew Pussy Moths whenever they could afford it and mainly fle round and round an aerodrome because they all had short sight and obviously knew how to bribe medics, who in the RAAF also cultured 1915 moustaches, but more ragged designs.

These people immediately took to the low cost Thrusters operated by the TOS Club, a mysterious group who were always writing secret letters to each other and making mysterious posts which ....................

[turboplanner]

22 minutes ago, Captain said:

This post by the UniRoot (onlyeverhadoneref) is vicious and shows how good & worthy, but chip-on-the-shoulder, WA mates can turn on easterners without warning, such that Crappy feels like the NES no longer offers a safe space in which he can hide from his numerous enemies. Just say'n. 

All WA people have that vicious streak in them; remember that movie "The Barbed Wire Fence"

[Captain]

19 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

All WA people have that vicious streak in them; remember that movie "The Barbed Wire Fence"

Or what those sand-monkeys did to the poor wolf in Wolf Creek".

 

23 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

........ex RAAF dudes who still cultured 1915 moustaches and had big ears.

They usually flew Pussy Moths whenever they could afford it and mainly fle round and round an aerodrome because they all had short sight and obviously knew how to bribe medics, who in the RAAF also cultured 1915 moustaches, but more ragged designs.

These people immediately took to the low cost Thrusters operated by the TOS Club, a mysterious group who were always writing secret letters to each other and making mysterious posts which ....................

.... always included their military ranks, and there must be more Captains and Majors in Wreck Flying than were ever promoted since the Boer War.

 

Group Captain Speer commented "They only became known as Pussy Moths, because those of us that flew them against those jolly Germans got lots of ......

[Captain]

 

PS - The previously secret TOS Club, as now exposed so viciously by Turbo, had always been known amongst the pommy general public as "Tossers".

 

 

Sent from my mobile device

 

[turboplanner]

........kills.

The young Churchill had put it about that although these were Moths, the pilots were pussys and not up to the job.

The German aces including Baron Von bullshyten couldn't help themselves in the pubs, calling the aircraft Pussy Moths, just as Churchill intended.

As they loudly and drunkenly shouted thay they were going to wipe out the Pussy Moths, there were some misunderstandings ......................... 

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

........kills.

The young Churchill had put it about that although these were Moths, the pilots were pussys and not up to the job.

The German aces including Baron Von bullshyten couldn't help themselves in the pubs, calling the aircraft Pussy Moths, just as Churchill intended.

As they loudly and drunkenly shouted thay they were going to wipe out the Pussy Moths, there were some misunderstandings ......................... 

..... because the points on their helmets were affected by the transit of the latest sunspot activity and had also buggered up the early German version of WW1 GPS, such that .....

 

The Germans in WW1 were about to announce that they had invented SchtarenLinken, but they were then made aware that the Aussie aboriginals were claiming that, in an effort led by Widbinjajakri spirit totem, the Rainbow Muskstick.

 

ZE KAUSEN VON ZE TROUBLEN MIT ZE GEEPEEESSEN UND ZE SCHTAREN LINKEN.

it turns out that there is a 3,750 dB gain ground (hardbrownbitavref) plane (avref) antenna in the pointy bit.

 

Edited February 25 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.........when they aimed at the enemy to the leften, the guns shot their own troopen to the righten, whereas the Pussy Moths could put a stitch of fire straight down the line and take out the Fochen Wulffs every time which shortened the war by ...........................

[Captain]

16 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.........when they aimed at the enemy to the leften, the guns shot their own troopen to the righten, whereas the Pussy Moths could put a stitch of fire straight down the line and take out the Fochen Wulffs every time which shortened the war by ...........................

..... 26 years, and this caused a big problem as all of the publicity had already been printed, based on it being another "30 Years War" .... or in German .... a "Dreisch Jahren Scheisenstaushen".

 

"Ziss is nein gut" said ze Kaiser when he called up Turbo's great grandy "As zis is just going to be a pizzy little 4 years war and I promised ze Rockerfeller'n zat I could deliver a good dreisich jahen bunn'n-fight'n and that would enable you und ze ......

 

TURBO'S MUCH-LOVED GRANDFATHER (USING THE WELL-KNOWN TURBINE FAMILY TEAPOT STANCE), ASKING THE BLOKE WHY HE HAS A MODEL OF A THRUSTER ON HIS HELMET ........ HENCE TURBO'S FIXATION WITH THEM.

Edited February 25 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......great Austrian Air Force can starten fighten maybe with the Japanesen und make the War longeren.

Turbo's grandfather had a tennis partrner named Adolph Schicklegruber, but that's another story.

It was Turbo's grandfather who designed the original Thruster. AS had told him he needed a fighter aircraft to take on the English Pomegranaten. Ralph Turbine had done his best. He had left off the rear end of the fuselage on the grounds that it didn't do anything and was just dead weight.It would have worked but when the wheels clapped on takeoff, the pilots were exposed in the subsequent belly landing because it had no belly.  1,000 were built; AS called them ArsenSkratcjers as a result of the "multi-castor wheel" feature of clapping then falling off, and replaced them with the ME109, an older and heavier, and very basic design which had the fault of.....................

Edited February 26 by turboplanner

[onetrack]

.....having components supplied by a suspect supplier, in the form of Turboeinzatten Metallgesellschaft (the accent is on the "schaft"). This company had appeared out of virtually nowhere, once AS issued the build order for 1000 Me109's, and the pricing was so cheap, AS was amazed.

"Ve can't build der maschinen dat cheap, even wen we use der Juden forced labour!", he muttered to Herr Speer. "He must be using some nu technologichen or some new cheap labour force ve know nuzzing about!! Get der Gestapo onto him and find out vat ve should know!!"

Turbo was relaxing at the Bürgerbräu Keller, leaning on his red Mercedes 540K (because a 540K was the 1938 equivalent of a Red Corvette), chatting up the Bürgerbräu Keller waitresses, when a carload of Gestapo rolled up, and the Gestapo Oberleutnant stepped out and started striding towards Turbo.

Turbo turned sighted him, and went pale. This was the Einsatzgruppen arriving, and he knew he had to talk fast. "Guten Abend, Oberleutnant!", Turbo said amiably, all the while his mind raced. What was he going to do with..............

[Captain]

...... Eva Braun's grandma and the Kaiser's missus, who were hanging off his arm (as the ladies always do with Turbo) and begging for a .......

[bull]

13 hours ago, Captain said:

...... Eva Braun's grandma and the Kaiser's missus, who were hanging off his arm (as the ladies always do with Turbo) and begging for a .......

....look at turdo,s huge...............