The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

......we already have our fur traps.  This was followed by three weeks of meetings to (a) set the framework and style for meetings, (b) come up with an attendance record  (c) adopt a three week safety course, (d) design a Safety Certificate (e) design, produce and circulate an Operations Manual to to 3.5 million First Nations people who were already getting ready for war with what was reported to be some scruffy Australians using their name. Leader Mik-Muk suggested they .............................

[Captain]

24 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Leader Mik-Muk suggested they .............................

..... gird their loins in order to be ........

[turboplanner]

.....authentic. This upset many in the Nationals who were then required to go many to their thousands of tribes and suggest they gird their loins. Since most of them had been wearing Armani suits for three generations, this didn't go down well.

Oppshuk, from the Coast Salesh, who was in the middle of setting up his CNC machine to carve a new Totem Pole which he had just sold to the Guggenheim for $14 million, was not amused, so he ................

[Captain]

24 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.....authentic. This upset many in the Nationals who were then required to go many to their thousands of tribes and suggest they gird their loins. Since most of them had been wearing Armani suits for three generations, this didn't go down well.

Oppshuk, from the Coast Salesh, who was in the middle of setting up his CNC machine to carve a new Totem Pole which he had just sold to the Guggenheim for $14 million, was not amused, so he ................

..... started to grid his lions using the WD084 mercator projection and ended up with 1 lion per square perch.

 

"Where did you get that many lions from, in what is, effectively, a non-lion country." asked Turbo, who was midway through incorporating Turbine Carnivors P/L.

 

"Well" replied Oppshuk (known as Oppy to his mates) "That is a very interesting question, young TurdBro, because I have found a secret stash in the ........

[turboplanner]

...........Pekinese Rockies."

Turbo realised then that the Chinese had cloned his cats and were, even as we speak, operating a Giant Cat Farm. This couldn't be allowed to go on so .................

 

Edited March 3 by turboplanner

[Captain]

59 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

...........Pekinese Rockies."

Turbo realised then that the Chinese had cloned his cats and were, even as we speak, operating a Giant Cat Farm. This couldn't be allowed to go on so ........

..... Turbo called another of his close mates who is the boss of ASIO & who gave him the name of a well known Labor politician who could get this all sorted with the CCP, and thereby prevent the cloned 10 ft Chinese moggies from blanketing Aussie and eating ......

 

It is only fair, however, that Cappy acknowledge, here & now, the great work done on such short notice by Clarry's Chinese Cat Cloning Conglomerate Company (the well known CCCCCC) for blanketing OZ with lion sized pussies, however 40 million kangaroos also needed to die in short order to make their manes, although when diced up the roos also made great Short Soup and Pork Spling Lolls.

Edited March 3 by Captain

[CT9000]

.....all the wildlife. Mean time CT having just secured a bulk supply of 22 Magnum ammo wants to know where all these giant cats can be found......

[turboplanner]

.......so he could relocate them. Turbo was torn between catching them and starting a breeding programme and elimination the competition. As a CIA operative he had access to Satellite vision he’d been thinking that if he herded them all into a 747 Fedex freighter, locked the Captain and copilot in and nailed som chipboard sheets on the crew should be safe whe who should walk into view heading for the lion office but our favourite politician ....

[Captain]

..... in company with the Tasmanian CFI in his jump suit & e-paulettes, both with the intention to .....

[turboplanner]

.......try to get the jump on Turbo.  He thought quickly and fed them to the lions. Albo didn't need to worry about the "name" coming out, the press moved on until someone noticed...........................

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......try to get the jump on Turbo.  He thought quickly and fed them to the lions. Albo didn't need to worry about the "name" coming out, the press moved on until someone noticed...........................

...... a small piece of cerise jump suit and a length of crutch zipper sticking out of a lion's mouth at the Hobart Zoo (these were a breeding pair, except that someone had forgotten that you needed at least one lady lion).

 

nuthn to see here said bull using his elevated standing in hobart society to protect turbs from prosecution 

 

In typical Tazzy fashion, all papers and evidence from the investigation by Tasmania's finest was lost the next day, the lion was given a 50 gallon enema to get rid any other evidence and bull ......

Edited March 4 by Captain

[onetrack]

........went on to become a major shareholder in Turbine Cat Farms Inc. - at no cost to him, of course. In addition, Turbo supplied him with a small gift for the great personal assistance he provided, in aiding Turbo to avoid prosecution - a highly-sought-after, premium TCF product, one of their famous TCF backpacks.

 

Bull was more than impressed, he was ecstatic about the gifts, and he was then seen...........

 

(and dear NES readers, we can now show you a secretly-acquired photo of bull proudly wearing his TCF gift while he goes on a major shopping expedition in Central Hobart. This photo will be Exhibit A in bull's upcoming corruption trial......)

 

 

[bull]

10 hours ago, onetrack said:

 

Bull was more than impressed, he was ecstatic about the gifts, and he was then seen...........

................heading out to sea from Queensland ,so the Hobart report was false, now Bull was seen prepping up a long line to set using all the new bait supplied by turdine cat farms . A few days later his boat was seen coming into port at Bundaberg loaded to the gills with king prawns and squid,bloody good bait said Bull. Now this did not impress the.......

 

 

[Ps just to clarify old Bull has come out of retirement to go skipper a trawler in Qld and any reports of sightings in Hobart is disinformation .This is Bulls fine vessel for the next two months .

 

 

Edited March 5 by bull

[Captain]

14 hours ago, onetrack said:

(and dear NES readers, we can now show you a secretly-acquired photo of bull proudly wearing his TCF gift while he goes on a major shopping expedition in Central Hobart. This photo will be Exhibit A in bull's upcoming corruption trial......)

 

 

Above, dear readers, is a rare photo of our compatriot and good mate, bull, standing up straight.

Normally he looks more like Charlie Laughton playing the Hunchback of Notre Dame (before the joint burnt down) and the cat is therefore partly upside down, partly strangled and certainly looking less contented.

 

Below shows bull and the Coffee Lady having a tender moment in the grounds of the hospital. If you look closely you can see his scar.

 

 

 

Edited March 5 by Captain

[Captain]

3 hours ago, bull said:

................heading out to sea from Queensland ,so the Hobart report was false, now Bull was seen prepping up a long line to set using all the new bait supplied by turdine cat farms . A few days later his boat was seen coming into port at Bundaberg loaded to the gills with king prawns and squid,bloody good bait said Bull. Now this did not impress the .......

 

Cappy congratulates Bull, as his new fine vessel and his position of great responsibility obviously contains a keyboard with a caps/shift function that works. Now THAT is ImPrEsSiVe.

 

....... Japanese and Chinese longline community who now need to compete at a disadvantage ("This not fair or leasonable" they craimed in a pless lerease), ........ plus Bull is sooo effective & efficient with his fishing techniques that Greenpeace are mounting a campaign to stop him desecrating the great Pacific Ocean & the Planet as a whole.

 

The boss of GreenPiss issued a press statement that said "Bull will make the Pacific Ocean look like the Sahara Desert, except wetter, ......... and this is a blow for humanity, World Peace, Global Warming, Continental Cooling and the little fishies, ....... as Captain Bull is one of the most effective .......

Edited March 5 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....Sea Captains in Australian History (except for Captain Cook of course) AND he can fly a Jacka, or several other home made planes.

"They weren't home made!" bristled Captain Bull, "I built them when I was a chef at the Bone RSL!"

 

The comment was changed to "several other cooked and slotted planes" and everyone was happy except .......

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

.....Sea Captains in Australian History (except for Captain Cook of course) AND he can fly a Jacka, or several other home made planes.

"They weren't home made!" bristled Captain Bull, "I built them when I was a chef at the Bone RSL!"

 

The comment was changed to "several other cooked and slotted planes" and everyone was happy except .......

..... for the Secretary/Manager at the Bone Rissole.

 

"1st we had reports that Bull had allowed himself to be taken advantage of by the CWA ladies, and now I am advised that he has been building his Jackoff and/or other aircraft while cooking here. If he can achieve all that while staying under the radar (avref) he deserves promotion to be ......

[bull]

1 hour ago, Captain said:

1st we had reports that Bull had allowed himself to be taken advantage of by the CWA ladies, and now I am advised that he has been building his Jackoff and/or other aircraft while cooking here. If he can achieve all that while staying under the radar (avref) he deserves promotion to be .....

.............chief rissole maker as the Bone rissole and seafood supplier. Old Bull went so well that soon he had a fleet of cat longliners that supplied most of the Asian market in Australia ,and soon old Albo Sleazy [prime fucw#t of Australia] created a new business award and Bull was summoned to Canberra to..................................                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       [,now to another matter :[Quote: Cappy congratulates Bull, as his new fine vessel and his position of great responsibility obviously contains a keyboard with a caps/shift function that works. Now THAT is ImPrEsSiVe. {Captain needs to get with the times as Bll has had a caps lock for over 10 years now.....Now in his new elevated position of chief rissole maker and seafood supplier .]    Bulls new apprentice rissole maker hired under the government grant to employ immigrants .....

 

Edited March 5 by bull

[turboplanner]

.......be interrogated on possible Chinese associations by ASIO.

Albo, who had taken over running ASIO after the discord by Malaysia at the ASEAN summit, even though they were all wearing catchy pink outfits, said "I'm onto this onion ring operator; he needn't come the raw prawn with me!"

But would he be good enough to round up the crafty Captain Bull who once sailed a prawn trawler into 

Emerald; no mean feat because Emerald is not on the sea.

Albo had been given ....................................

[Captain]

.... the equivalent of a small version of the lion's enema, by the result in Dunkley, and his back teeth were awash, plus Paul Keeting had given Penny Wong a good reaming, so Albo took it out on Captain Bull by .....

Edited March 6 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....being his petulant best and ordering Captain Bull to pay attention.

As we know, this is not the way to get Captain Bull smiling and compliant and Albo was hit in the face by a handful of 5 day old prawns which ............................

 

[bull]

11 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....being his petulant best and ordering Captain Bull to pay attention.

As we know, this is not the way to get Captain Bull smiling and compliant and Albo was hit in the face by a handful of 5 day old prawns which ............................

 

...had been left in the sun for days....the smell was...............

[Captain]

3 hours ago, bull said:

...had been left in the sun for days....the smell was...............

.... eminently appropriate for the manner in which Albo is on the nose around the Electorates. As a result, an observer's video of Bull prawning Albo went viral.

 

Soon Bull was giving live interviews, and instructional videos about "Prawning Politicians",  live via his trawler's Starlink connection and by using the professional video team that Capt Bull had hired as crew, who were most often seasick and couldn't catch fish for ......

[turboplanner]

nuts. In fact they would have done better throwing nuts over the side.

The Australian inverse attitude kicked in and dozens of Politicians reached out to Captain Bull asking to be prawned. Turbine Consulting suggested some business models for him and soon Captain Bull’s Prawning Cruises swung into action bringing Pollies out to the trawler in the R44 “Prawn”. Of course Captain Bull couldn’t catch prawns so ha placed a $1500 order each week for uncooked prawns and he had a business, until.....

[Captain]

..... the Pollies realised that the praws were raw and were "splattered" post use.

 

"That's no good" said Tony Burke, who is one, "As we thought this was a seafood banquet and we would all go back home with a 44 of fresh cooked prawns. At least that's what I told the boys at the Bankstown mosque and I'll be stoned unto death if I don't come home with a couple of tons of halal certified prawns".

 

The ever resourceful Bull had a suggestion,  which was to ........

 

Halal certification requires that each prawn have its throat cut, one by one, by the Mufti in Bone while he said a 20 minute prayer and called for jihad against everybody else.

Edited March 6 by Captain