The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

......drop in to the Salamanca Bizarre Coffee Shop and we'll set up a plan.

Charlie was amazed at the poise and clear thinking of this man.

He'd always been impressed by Cessnas even though he'd never seen one; Charlie travelled First Class and with no one except ...................................

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Charlie travelled First Class and with no one except ........

..... the current year's Miss Snap-Crackle-&-Pop, ....... which he was still capable of getting them to do, when he .....

[turboplanner]

.....was flying all over the country with a box of Kellogs cornflakes, a spoon and a bowl. H managed to convert thousands of little Australians to the excitement of eatiing his products and they taught millions more.

But he itched to get up front there and CONTROL it, so he was looking forward to his coffee with Tasmanian bull who at the moment was coming in fast to Constitutional Dock; in fact a little too fast, as tourists........................

[Captain]

.... all pulled out their phones to record the expected carnage (to sell the footage to those sharks at Turbine Media Distributors), but at the same time, & coincidentally, the quick thinking Captain Bull pulled out his .....

Edited March 17 by Captain

[onetrack]

.......megaphone, turned it up to full volume and yelled, "CAPTAIN COOK, PROMPTLY ADDRESS YOUR APPROACH SPEED!" 

 

At the sound of the words, "approach speed", the captains aviation training kicked in, over and above his marine training, and he grabbed the throttle levers and pulled them back to idle, thus disappointing not only the assembled, waiting, phone camera holding hordes - but it also raised huge disappointment in the TMD rep embedded in the crowd (because all media reps have to be embedded to blend in), and he could see millions slipping away, as bulls trawler rapidly slowed. However, bull wasn't done yet, and he.........

 

Edited March 18 by onetrack

[Captain]

..... deftly realised that the TMD staff in the croud were way more than the SingularRoot had appreciated in his post.

In fact the croud at Constipation Dock had more TMD people there than the FBI and CIA, combined, had at the January 6th Get-Together/Shindig in Washington.

Capt Bull knew or suspected this all along, due to his ASIO training, and also from being appointed as one of the Five Eyes (which helped him a bit as he is usually one-eyed), so with the need for speed, Bull's time in the SAS kicked in, and he kicked .......

Edited March 18 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....the throttle wide open and headed straight for the dock. Later, in the Tasmanian Royal Commission, Captain Bull said he was going for a "dry" landing prior to cleaning the keel, but the Hon Clifford C. T. Banks KC pointed out that he had hit a  Morris Oxford and a late 1976 Torana, and they were operating within their lanes and neither were speeding.

 

However, the Hon Alastair Cook KC argued that they were both unregistered (a common practice in Tasmania) and the Judge found them guilty and awarded costs to Capt B. and saluted him.

 

The Hobart City Council now had to .....................

 

 

 

[Captain]

18 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

The Hobart City Council now had to ........

..... put things right, as the good Captain had ploughed his fine blue vessel up past Davey St, and with public opinion squarely behind Capt Bull, the Council opted to drop their dacks and to .......

Edited March 18 by Captain

[turboplanner]

...wash its hands of the affair since the bow of the trawler had pushed through the front doors of Customs House and was now in the office of the Third Assistant Secretary of Customs; a cushy job handed to Damian from Canberra secretly by his father Sir James Framlingham Track.

Damian who had his handicaps also was very cunning and he called in his Customs Officers and ordered a search of the vessel. "They must be trying to hide something he said, looking up at the aircraft deck now sitting in Davey St." That's all he needed to say; his troops were all required to spend a six months stretch with CASA, so they decided to do a ramp check. Once they got through the miles of longline, they started picking up all sorts of appliances, tobacco, groceries branded Woolworths but with small print on the cartons "supplied by Turbine Agriculture, Calabria."

Something had to be done.......................

[Captain]

...... so they relied on/reverted to muscle memory and applied heavy handed CASA techniques, their favourite of which was to .....

[Captain]

14 hours ago, Captain said:

...... so they relied on/reverted to muscle memory and applied heavy handed CASA techniques, their favourite of which was to .....

And meanwhile, the Salamanca Bizarre Coffee Shop was abuzz.

[turboplanner]

..someone had seen a car. It was something you didn't see much in Tasmania; it was common to see plates with Tas 5 State of Tigers, even though there weren't any these days. For their holidays people would walk up to Devonport and watch their ship, the Princess of Tasmania dock and all the cars and trucks roll off. It was while a couple, Damian and Dave were watching cars ome of that the noticed on with a trailer. On the back was a Skippy 5 with a Jabiru engine...................................

[Captain]

5 hours ago, turboplanner said:

For their holidays people would walk up to Devonport and watch their ship, the Princess of Tasmania dock and all the cars and trucks roll off. It was while a couple, Damian and Dave were watching cars ome of that the noticed on with a trailer. On the back was a Skippy 5 with a Jabiru engine...................................

..... and this was a big deal, as Tasmania is 70 years behind the North Island, therefore a Jab engine was a big deal in 1954.

 

So it was, post WW2 that Damian and Dave professed to be gay ........ meaning happy and carefree, however they were the talk of the SBCS and could be seen ......

Edited March 19 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......running over fences as the the Tasmanian media closed in. 

Damian was found hiding in an outhouse and Dave was interviewed by the Mercury reporter under a big gorse bush. What he had to say was ....................

[Captain]

45 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......running over fences as the the Tasmanian media closed in. 

Damian was found hiding in an outhouse and Dave was interviewed by the Mercury reporter under a big gorse bush. What he had to say was ....................

...... pretty standard fare for Tasmania, but totally astounding to Northerners who were not used to .....

[turboplanner]

.........the Tasmanian language.....................

[Captain]

10 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.........the Tasmanian language.....................

..... which is a peculiar yet confusing but interesting blend of ancient creole, Collingwood prepubescent slang (which apparently floated over the Tasmania when Melbourne sewerage was untreated), Antarctic outpost Spanglish (after all, they are closer to Antarctica than they are to Sydney) and over recent years there has been an strange infusion of a Queensland central coast twang, ....... where sentences are 3 words or less and all end in "Eh?"), that has all lead to ...... 

Edited March 20 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....a woke language where the sentences are short and always finish with a question. 

We all know the EH?" started in Queensland when Joh, who was stone-deaf, thought it might help to hear questions better.

It now sounded like this: "Alons bouger to the bordmer que, cauanta?"

Older Tasmanians (cuers) were having some difficulty with their new language but ..........

[Captain]

47 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Older Tasmanians (cuers) were having some difficulty with their new language but ..........

.... the younger Generation Sigma people loved it, so they built a bullfighting arena, encouraged the all hours opening of Tapas Bars, listened to Zydeco bands, adopted penguins as pets and barracked for the Pies, eh?

 

The usually stagnant Tasmanian economy.......

[turboplanner]

52 minutes ago, Captain said:

.... the younger Generation Sigma people loved it, so they built a bullfighting arena, encouraged the all hours opening of Tapas Bars, listened to Zydeco bands, adopted penguins as pets and barracked for the Pies, eh?

 

The usually stagnant Tasmanian economy.......

.......boomed, and the streets reverberated with the sound of flamenco guitars where previously it was just disgruntled old men complaining about CASA even though they didn’t fly.....

[onetrack]

.....anything larger than a control-line model aircraft. It was during one of these GOM (Grump Old Men) grumble sessions, that Capt Cook, who was listening in as an invitee, suggested they all go........

[turboplanner]

...........................................................................................................[unfortunately the Captain's comments have had to be deleted - MOD 3]........themselves. The Goms, relishing a new outrage, mobilised with one referring to Captain Cook as a woke gaslighter, another asking whethere anyone knew of a spare set of magneto switches for a Tiger Moth, and another strongly insisting that the weather in April could be rough and he didn't think he could go. One even ..............

[Captain]

..... went so far as to suggest that bull (now Captain Bull of the much feared and revered Tasmanian Merchant Navy [Davey St sub-branch]) is standing in the Tazzy election as Mohammed bin Toro, in order to clinch the Muslim, Garbage Collectors, and Bovine votes (you only need 8 votes in Tasmania and you are in), but he keeps being mistaken for Jackie Lambie and that .....

Edited March 21 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........has put fear into the local community who can't tell the difference.

It's said that folks in Launceston are ordering their shopping from Coles Online rather than wheeling out the Humber, just in case Jackie's out there ready to give them a good dressing down, Army style.

 

[Mohammad Bin Toro shown below taking advantage of the launch of the new AFL the Tasmania Devils.

The T stands for Devil in Cajun. Note the screwed up face and the fact that he is holding the banner as far away from his nose as he can; the team's new mascot, Tassie the Devil has already christened it.

[Captain]

56 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

........has put fear into the local community who can't tell the difference.

It's said that folks in Launceston are ordering their shopping from Coles Online rather than wheeling out the Humber, just in case Jackie's out there ready to give them a good dressing down, Army style.

 

[Mohammad Bin Toro shown below taking advantage of the launch of the new AFL the Tasmania Devils.

The T stands for Devil in Cajun. Note the screwed up face and the fact that he is holding the banner as far away from his nose as he can; the team's new mascot, Tassie the Devil has already christened it.

Your beloved Captain, being a stickler for the Jedi codes of order and discipline, does not know how to proceed, as Tubb has denied the world any continuation dots.

 

But Cappy is a maverick and will take a chance that his best mate was just tired when he wrote his last tome.

 

..... Army style ..... which can be enjoyable if you have received the right training.

 

The biggest issue for Captain Bull and his quest for parliamentarianism is that he and Jackie do look strikingly similar with their clotes on, and Tasmanians are divided, in that some find that erotic in a uniquely Tasmanian way, and some find it a little repulsive.

 

To demonstrate this further, Cappy posts the below photo without saying whether it is Captain Bull or Jackie L ............ save to say that the Coffee Lady has told Cappy that Captain Bull has the type of "package" that Jackie admitted to the Canberra press gallery that she finds so attractive and necessary.

 

Both Jackie and Bull think that the below photo looks .......

 

Which one do you think this is?

Edited March 21 by Captain