The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

.....lifting his other foot to kick her in the face. Matron Doubtfire expertly ducked and grabbed him by the ....................

[Captain]

..... other bits, which encouraged Cappy to .....

[Captain]

23 hours ago, Captain said:

..... other bits, which encouraged Cappy to .....

...... do what Turbo and he often did on their lonely nights up the Khyber, ....... or as the CT does up the Australian equivalent of the Khyber, at DG, as he listens to the 5 sacred babbling brooks, .......... or as our great friend Onetrack does during the loneliness of a WA nighttime sandstorm .......... or as Capt Bull does under a cloudless sky somewhere in the vasts of the Tasman ......... and that is to .......

Edited April 5 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....count sheep.

Not many people know that the correct way to count sheep is to count the feet. This ancient system was more accurate because you had to train each sheep to do a slow-step march in single file rather than the later short cut of trying to count a mob of 1000 unruly sheep with some always circling back and being counted twice.

While Cappy was counting sheep and drifting off to sleep Doubtfire finished him off with an uppercut to the jaw.

 

When Capp's burns and jaw had healed he  painfully made his way out the airfield to check out his Bushcaddy. It was a sorry sight, but not as bad as the Jab he built from a kit; he always argued that he wasn't to know that one of the crates had finished up in Ceduna and he'd done the best he could.

 

As he was walking around he noticed a new Bushcaddy in the circuit. As it was taxying in he noticed the signwriting "Turbine Aviation - gets you there fast!" and ..........

 

Edited April 5 by turboplanner

[Captain]

19 hours ago, turboplanner said:

As he was walking around he noticed a new Bushcaddy in the circuit. As it was taxying in he noticed the signwriting "Turbine Aviation - gets you there fast!" and ........

..... there is certainly no doubt that a Solar T62-T32 in a Bushcaddy does make them go like a cut cat.

 

"Bugger the Sonex thingy or the Cirrus jet" said a leading and influential AUF member (paid under the table by Turbine Draft and Corruption Co) "It's a Turbine driven BC for me" and the sales went exponential with the only restriction being the limits on the numbers of Military Surplus Solar engines.

 

"Leave it to me" said Tubb during a BC Production Meeting "We'll take over the Pentagon, which I'll rename as either The Turbagon or The Pentabine, and I'll put Mark Milley in-charge of retiring Solar engines as soon as they reach 50 hrs, so that the BC production line can ......

Edited April 6 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....be expanded and equipped with robotics, because robots are capable of drilling holes in a straight line rather than wherever they feel in the mood for (and Turbo produced  two photos, one where the rivets spelled out "XXXX turba" (sic) and another showing a precise line of rivets.)

"Which photo shows the robot holes?" asked a particularly keen journalist.

The press briefing ended with a seafood banquet and unlimited supplies of wines from the extensive cellars of Turbine Vineyards Ltd.

The stories in the press all seemed to closely follow the hand out sheets, which had amazing lines about the history of Turbine Group from its start as a single cat farm growing rats as food for the cats, photos of the finished Ermine being modelled in Paris, and a single photo of an aluminium sheet with a precision hole line.

However, as usual there were FoIs lurking under the trees, and one had managed to get a photo of a Bushcaddy with the bulge indicating a Solar T62-T32 engine and the wings bending back at the tips in a banana shape from the force of the speed (4 times VNE). Turbo had been busy and didn't have enough time to do "that paper crap" as he put it so the FoI................

[Captain]

..... asked the obvious question about an issue that was at the top of everyone's list.

 

"Are my interpersonal skills up the .....

[turboplanner]

.....Khyber.

The poor FoI wasn't to know he was speaking to a veteran of "The Pass" as they called it at the Bombay Club.

Cappy bristled,  and said "If you spoke English instead of that .........................

[onetrack]

.......bureaucratic gobbledegook that all Canberrans speak, then we might be able to understand the points you're trying to make! As it is, we can only..........

[Captain]

1 hour ago, onetrack said:

.......bureaucratic gobbledegook that all Canberrans speak, then we might be able to understand the points you're trying to make! As it is, we can only..........

.... assume that you must really believe this .....

[Captain]

It is little known, by other than those who study the history and details of Australia's early Federation, that the town of Gobbledygook is located partway along the back-road between Southern Cross and Bunbury ....................... since named Gobbledygookup to make it fit in better in WA.

 

The Gobbledygookup Institute is run by Turbine Elocution & Deportment PLC and is where all budding Politicians and Public Servants must report for a 24-month course, before they are admitted to the Canberra Gravy Train.

 

Gobbledygookup is therefore also the most boring place on earth .................... and not just because Turbo has his Summer Residence there.

[turboplanner]

.......new aircraft is an outstanding example of aeronatic engineering crossed with the camping facilities of some of the latest off-road caravans in Australia, but without the drawbacks of wheels dropping off, water tanks leaking, radio antennas sailing and toilets jamming.

 

The CASA FoI who had been camping in one of these painted in camo, towed by a Supoo Outback, also in camo, and had experienced all these failures this trip, became very sympathetic and all Cappy got was a caution about the rude sticker on the wing. What he didn't know was that the cunning Cappy had seen the camouflaged camp from the circuit (yes he was still one of the few who bothered to fly a circuit these days) and dressed as a Bedouin (with make up) had wandered into the camo site in his flowing white robes and asked how the trip was going.

 

With the FoI outwitted (or so he thought) he soon had the Bushcaddy  off the ground. noticing that eagle's beak stuck up in the air, the FoI realised he'd seen it before.......in his caravan........he reached for the radio mic.............................

[Captain]

On 07/04/2024 at 3:50 PM, turboplanner said:

With the FoI outwitted (or so he thought) he soon had the Bushcaddy  off the ground. noticing that eagle's beak stuck up in the air, the FoI realised he'd seen it before.......in his caravan........he reached for the radio mic .......

..... pushed the clicky button thingy on the side and said, in his best authoritarian and big brave public servant's voice (he had been educated initially at Moorabbin Public, then did the short/compressed course at GobbledyGookup) "I say there, old chap. Will youze please ........

Edited April 9 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......come darn heah for a sec so we can have a littke chat." 

Fois always started out being your friend, but lie his women, never finished that way so Cappy selected WOT  bound for Kapooka, Koopacka, Pakooka,......anywhere and .................................

[Captain]

10 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......come darn heah for a sec so we can have a littke chat." 

Fois always started out being your friend, but lie his women, never finished that way so Cappy selected WOT  bound for Kapooka, Koopacka, Pakooka,......anywhere and .................................

.... ,as a result, landed in PooKacka, where he met up with his old friend from the Gobbledygookup Institute, Missy Higgins, who had just completed successfully setting up a Prime Minister and been awarded with a couple of million smackeroos for her trouble.

 

"Do you think?" he asked "That you could perhaps ......

Edited April 9 by Captain

[turboplanner]

"........wipe that smirk off his face with a little more effort?"

"No probs" she replied and sauntered off.

Not many people know that PooKacka (formerly Convictsville), renamed by the Kacka Aboriginal Corporation in 2023 after gold was discovered there had become a .................

 

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

"........wipe that smirk off his face with a little more effort?"

"No probs" she replied and sauntered off.

Not many people know that PooKacka (formerly Convictsville), renamed by the Kacka Aboriginal Corporation in 2023 after gold was discovered there had become a .................

 

..... key central location for the AGI.

 

The Aboriginal Grievance Industry sublet a complex of 130 office suites, Lunchrooms, Gyms, Secret Men's Business Rooms and Middens from Turbine Native Peoples and Cultures Pty Ltd, who also do something similar in the Inuit Community up north.

 

Every Aboriginal Grievance Practitioner (AGP) was compelled to set up their Chambers there, in a manner somewhat similar to the way that Barristers cluster for mutual support.

 

So, Noel Pierson had rooms adjacent to Lidia Walsh, who had her office over the left side of Charlie Perkins' family, Tommy Mayo took 2 suites, and Albert Namatjira's great grandson was still turning out paintings of River Gums using the latest AAI (Aboriginal Artificial intelligence) techniques.

 

Into this thriving community of grifters, Missy Higgins fitted in like a ........

[turboplanner]

.....Quandong nut into a shangeye.

They had Morning Grievances at which every member of Chambers was expected to come up with a new one every day. The Junior Members had the task of "running a grieve" allocated to them by the Uncles, Cousins or Nephews.

 

Missy ....................

 

 

 

[Captain]

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Missy ...............

.... went straight for the top.

 

"If I can get past the Turbine Security guys tonight, and if just if, one of youze would be willing to fake having a conjugal with me, I reckon we can get Turbo to resign just like Scotty M did ..... then we can all bugger off for a holiday in France or Kingaroy on another couple of $ million".

 

Turbo had many plants within the croud, and they reported all of this to him quick stix (his time at the top of the CIA and the FBI was really paying off, big time), but he was also keen to see Missy get .....

[turboplanner]

........the bone pointed at her by the Kaiditcha man, CharlieTwoFeet, a Malinger Man.

Charlie had bought a new pair of Nike Feathersoles and was looking for an excuse to use them.

Sure enough Missy broke a Sacred law by showing the Womens Business to One Emu Track who had always been a snitch, and the job was done and no one talked of Missy again on pain of a similar fate.

 

OET .................

[Captain]

6 hours ago, turboplanner said:

OET ...........

...... didn't get around too much as she just stood on one leg and gazed off into the distance ........ when she wasn't falling over.

 

OET was the inspiration for the identifying monika of a well-known aviation expert from WA, who is a friend and a big help to all members of the Wreck Frying 4Rum and he often gives lectures, invited to or not, on how best to keep the sand out of your engine during an oil change.

 

These are worthwhile lectures for all 3 of the WA AUF membership, but are a yawn for everyone east of the WA/SA border, where the eastern states membership mainly just want to know about .......

 

PS - In Melbournistan, the big question, is what size umbrella is needed for an oil change, whereas in Tasmania the dominant topic over recent days has been "What is all this white stuff?

Edited April 10 by Captain

[turboplanner]

21 minutes ago, Captain said:

...... didn't get around too much as she just stood on one leg and gazed off into the distance ........ when she wasn't falling over.

 

OET was the inspiration for the identifying monika of a well-known aviation expert from WA, who is a friend and a big help to all members of the Wreck Frying 4Rum and he often gives lectures, invited to or not, on how best to keep the sand out of your engine during an oil change.

 

These are worthwhile lectures for all 3 of the WA AUF membership, but are a yawn for everyone east of the WA/SA border, where the eastern states membership mainly just want to know about .......

 

PS - In Melbournistan, the big question, is what size umbrella is needed for an oil change, whereas in Tasmania the dominant topic over recent days has been "What is all this white stuff?

.........Why Cessna 172s are so expensive, what sun cream is the best for flying, are Boings any good to fly in,  where you can get a replacement plug for a hole in the instrument panel of a Cessna 208,

how many V Tail Bonanzas were built and what were their serial numbers and stuff.

 

All of this was hard going for the friend who was not the sharpest tool in the drawer on the big stuff; but on the other hand his Quicksilver was known around the world for its precision build, and colour scheme designed to scare off thieves and roos. He was so meticulous that he not only put rubber plugs in the exhaust pipes after shut down, but wheeled the QS over to the milking shed and gave it 10 minutes in a bay to suck out any dust or spiders before startup.

 

He was also meticulous in ...........................

[Captain]

..... his management of heavy issues of AUF politics, because he was convinced at an early age that these can adversely affect Weight and Balance, ...... as opposed to normal weight issues that just ......

[turboplanner]

On 11/04/2024 at 7:29 AM, Captain said:

..... his management of heavy issues of AUF politics, because he was convinced at an early age that these can adversely affect Weight and Balance, ...... as opposed to normal weight issues that just ......

Applied to people who drank VB and ate steak. One Emu Track has always said These things make you heavy and that makes your aeroplane (he was a stickler) heavy but politics stops it flying! 

 

And he was correct because the Queenslanders has just...

[Captain]

8 hours ago, turboplanner said:

And he was correct because the Queenslanders has just...

..... removed any requirement to consider W&B for all members of the QUF.

 

QUF membership blossomed as all AUF members from other states used a caravan park address to join up and ......

 

Dear Readers ...... Cappy has some said news to impart that one of the members of the VUF has been sentenced to death and the following describes the details.

Cappy had met Truong (Trudy to all her Aussie mates) numerous times when she attended NatFly events every year, and she was a nice lady, although Cappy had the impression that she might be a bit shifty ..... which is not good for 3 axis machines, although OK for weight shift trikes.

The big issue for the NES, and why I mention it here, is this news must surely put Turbo at some risk, as the business model used by Van Thinh Phat Holdings Group (VTPHG) was a mirror, in fact a dead spit copy, of Turbine Enterprises ...... and Turbo has been a consultant (plus he may have provided other services too) to Mrs Lan. The amounts of money involved as set out below are also similar to the annual turnover at Turbine Enterprises.

 

 

Real estate tycoon Truong My Lan was sentenced to death yesterday for siphoning $12.5B from Saigon Joint Stock Commercial Bank. It is the largest fraud case in Vietnam’s history and comes amid a government-led crackdown on corruption. 

Lan is the 68-year-old chairwoman of Van Thinh Phat Holdings Group, a real estate firm tied to high-end properties. From 2011 to 2022, Lan used shell companies and proxies to gain control of over 90% of SCB. She then secured loan approvals to ghost companies, tapping SCB for cash and stealing the equivalent of over 3% of Vietnam’s gross domestic product. Her loans accounted for 93% of SCB’s total lending. Lan and co-conspirators were also convicted of bribing officials $5.2M to overlook violations.