The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

Trudy at the Narromine Rissole where the AUF shindig was held, where she presented prizes provided by the VUF.

Turbo was on her arm (but was that all?) that night, however he stepped to the right so as to be out of shot (executionref).

 

[turboplanner]

......soon the QUF membership blossomed from five to 8,000.

It was even rumoured (by a QUF official who remains anonymous because he is not allowed to speak on the record having been involved in one of the 35 attempted AUF coups, that bull (the model for parts of the Forest Gump movie) had beached his prawn trawler and headed for Queensland. Soon there were home made planes falling out of the sky from Cooktown [Cappy ref] to Eulo and the QUD breathed a sigh of relief; they were "free" as one new member from NSW said.

 

Epaulette, who had taught  many AUF members was outraged at the return to the dark ages and, throwing political caution to the winds, ripped into the hierarchy like Caesar at a BBQ.

 

"If they don't do their W&B they'll die!" Epaulette said using his favourite word which has driven thousands of students into compliance.

 

"I don't give a ............................................."

 

Dear Readers, 

Turbo was sorry to read the said news too, particularly since he had set up a sister company in Phuc Tay Province which mirrored that of Madam Truong's. His was the Phat Vanh Thin Holdings Group (PVTH) so he was in trouble too.

 

At the NatFly conference they'd had a private session where they discussed strategy to handle the situation.

 

Not many people know that when he was just 13 Turbo was thrown out on the street, and picked up by the  Painters & Dockers Union who used to feed him food scraps but promised him real money and a Valiant Charger for certain services. It might help to remind AUF members that compared to the Underbelly 13 executions, the Painters & Dockers through their young apprentice accounted for 42 with the old 12 gauge from over the office door.

 

Of course the Painters and Dockers had long been disbanded but they all carried, on a part of their bodies that rarely saw the light the initials RBNF (Retired But Not Forgotten) and Turbo had been called in many times for "services" .

 

Now they were about to regroup, head for Vietnam and return the favour.

 

 

 

[Captain]

16 hours ago, turboplanner said:

"If they don't do their W&B they'll die!" Epaulette said using his favourite word which has driven thousands of students into compliance.

 

"I don't give a ............................................."

.... flying (avref) f.......

[Captain]

16 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Now they were about to regroup, head for Vietnam and return the favour.

However, after their lack of "work" on the wharves, they had all porked up to major proportions so that their tour party got stuck when they visited the tunnels.

 

"Even though they are Commos rike us, we just chuck a grenade in and brow them out" said Rip Van Tran Win Kill, who had always wanted to knock over a few white-eyes ever since his uncle had been shot in 1968. 

[turboplanner]

.....foredeck [avref, Carrier] said Garry Twobottems, I'm gunna fly my Foxhit whether it's safe of not. How dangerous can it be compared to working on the wharves?

 

This was considered to be a good point but quite a large sector of the RBNF until Garry proved how silly it was by .....................................

[Captain]

18 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.....foredeck [avref, Carrier] said Garry Twobottems, I'm gunna fly my Foxhit whether it's safe of not. How dangerous can it be compared to working on the wharves?

 

This was considered to be a good point but quite a large sector of the RBNF until Garry proved how silly it was by .....................................

..... trying to land the Foxhit downwind with the carrier (avref carrier) pointing into the 20 knot breeze while doing 23 knots.

 

The worst bit was the jumpup that is usually at the departure end of the flight deck, but Garry ......

[turboplanner]

6 hours ago, Captain said:

..... trying to land the Foxhit downwind with the carrier (avref carrier) pointing into the 20 knot breeze while doing 23 knots.

 

The worst bit was the jumpup that is usually at the departure end of the flight deck, but Garry ......

...was wise to te poor quality control of the US Submarine manufacturers, saidslipped at the last minute, dived, used that inertia to quickly gain height, did a quick turn to starboard [old avref] and landed diagonally on the deck.

 

There was loud clapping and cheering from the deck; this was the first plane to make a landing today; the rest were all splattered under the foredeck.

 

Garry was greeted by the Captain (the Captain, not THE Captain) who said ......"

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Garry was greeted by the Captain (the Captain, not THE Captain) who said ......"

..... congratulations Twobottoms, come below, as we have had a special head (karzyref) made for you".

 

"No" replied Gazza "That's just my name, and not a biological fact, so I am but a normal mono-ding person and my name was just a ......

[turboplanner]

.......hand down from a few centuries ago when my GGGGGGGGrandfather used to Let one go every five minutes in the barn, at the dinner table, in bed, and at the pub.

 

The Admiral profoundly apologised for the emabrassment he had caused and then said .............

[Captain]

13 hours ago, turboplanner said:

The Admiral profoundly apologised for the emabrassment he had caused and then said .............

..... "OK then, young Gazza, I shall rename you Commodore (or Falcon if you are a Ford fan) Garry Monoclacker, and I endorse you for ....

Edited April 15 by Captain

[turboplanner]

5 hours ago, Captain said:

..... "OK then, young Gazza, I shall rename you Commodore (or Falcon if you are a Ford fan) Garry Monoclacker, and I endorse you for ....

.....solo flight in the Tennis Court (avref), and since it was dark they sat around listening to old 78s of the Russian composer Clackmaninoff who never disclosed how he was able to play such a wide scale of notes.

 

In the morning the Carrier went to General Quarters and Garry...........

 

 

[Captain]

18 hours ago, turboplanner said:

In the morning the Carrier went to General Quarters and Garry..........

... went to Private Quarters, but the Private wasn't too keen, so Gazza .....

Edited April 16 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....was forced to go back and fly that fateful mission that made television history around the word, won him a Medal of Honor and condemned him to touring schools and being asked questions for the rest of his life.

It was at Great Falls, Montana Junior High that ......................

[Captain]

5 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....was forced to go back and fly that fateful mission that made television history around the word, won him a Medal of Honor and condemned him to touring schools and being asked questions for the rest of his life.

It was at Great Falls, Montana Junior High that ......................

.... Little Jimmy (they have the same snotty Little Jimmys over thar in Maataana, as we have in Oz) said "Hey Teach, if this bloke is so good that he gets a gig talking to little kids like us, why doesn't he also have a .....

Edited April 17 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.........Mustang Convertible.

The room fell silent because the teacher had asked the same question and found that Garry still had 23 DUIs to clear through the Courts along with .........................

 

[Captain]

14 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.........Mustang Convertible.

The room fell silent because the teacher had asked the same question and found that Garry still had 23 DUIs to clear through the Courts along with .........................

 

.... an ingrained hatred of Ford products. 

 

"Bugger the Mustangs, I'm a Corvette groupie, just like Turbo, and look where that's got him"

 

Gazza then paid an additional tribute to our very own Turdboy by saying ".......

[turboplanner]

......when people were picking on me (before I joined the AFLW teams) and calling me "Twobums",

Turbo came into a bar when several huge brutes were rubbishing me and cleaned it out.

He wiped the counter meticulously, removing food that had been there for 17 years, polished all the bottles and did the floor twice. He was AMAZING, but that's not all ............................

 

[Captain]

42 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Turbo came into a bar when several huge brutes were rubbishing me and cleaned it out.

He wiped the counter meticulously, removing food that had been there for 17 years, polished all the bottles and did the floor twice. He was AMAZING, but that's not all ..............

..... , he could play the piano in the bar just like Winifred Atwell, even though he looked the spit of Liberace, but through all that he still had Winifred's ......

Edited April 17 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....teeth; pearly white and able to strip auto cable all day.

Not many people know that Winifred was one of the nest pianists in the world. When you bought her sheet music, thinking you might start up in competition the first thing you noticed were the extra five notes per word.

Winifred was buried in Northern Rivers Memorial Park, South Gundurimba near Corakai, Lismore, with a small plaque.

 

Elton John found out about it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Captain]

17 hours ago, turboplanner said:

 

Not many people know that Winifred was one of the nest pianists in the world. When you bought her sheet music, thinking you might start up in competition the first thing you noticed were the extra five notes per word.

Elton John found out about it.

...... but after a heap of practice, he could only play 3 of Winifred's extra 5 notes PW, and his poor choppers meant that he was a hopeless cable stripper.

 

"But I've got better glasses than she has" he said "However being 2 notes short (PW) means that I must reluctantly agree that she is, indeed, the nest pianist, because ........

Edited April 18 by Captain

[turboplanner]

"...........at the nest World Championships she won 17 years out of 20 a row and I only won twice."

Not many people know that bull was also an accomplished pianist, entertaining many people at the RSL when he lived in Bone, and often touring western CQ towns with his instrument, following the trail of Slim Dusty. This was pretty hard on the Jacka and affected its WB dreadfully. Queenslanders used to line the local airfields after a bull performance just to see the jacka stagger into the air with a grand piano strapped to its back. Sometimes .............

 

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

This was pretty hard on the Jacka and affected its WB dreadfully. Queenslanders used to line the local airfields after a bull performance just to see the jacka stagger into the air with a grand piano strapped to its back. Sometimes ........

..... the crowd would titter after Clarry Limefelder would make his usual joke about Maestro bull having a 12 inch pianist ....... and an oddly shaped little piano hidden down his flight suit.

 

bull was obviously a Wini Atwell fan & could tinkle with the best of them (bull once won a competition for twinkling off a 3rd floor balcony at the Bone Railway Hotel after 13 schooners), but he also identified with the Elton John lifestyle, so he would sometimes .......

Edited April 18 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........hang out with .........

[Captain]

15 hours ago, turboplanner said:

........hang out with .........

..... the Village People, the Moorabbin Chapter of Dykes on Bikes and their aviation affiliate, Dykes flying Trikes, where Turbo is their Patron, plus that bloke wearing a pink tutu at Turbine Industries who is TI's symbolic diversity hiring, and that's all because of the ......

[turboplanner]

.........Vic Government's "We may be broke, but we'll give you a free $20.00 voucher if you hire a Dragger", that's the way it is in the proud female-led State of Vic.

We can tell you who it is because that would embarrass him, but Turbo has always said "Even $20.00 adds to the bottom line. Turbo had agreed, but CT was beginning to regret giving up his Camo because way too many bunnies could spot him a mile off and would stand on their hind legs and do one of Pink's iconic dances, the movement threw his aim off and his bounty tally was down by $2500.00 per Month.

 

CT.....................