The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

.....firth in the family throng enough to fly from Thepparton to New Thouth Waleth under my own power."

This was greeted by hoots in the local pub that night and so he was forced  to superglue his feathers one and .......................

 

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

.....firth in the family throng enough to fly from Thepparton to New Thouth Waleth under my own power."

This was greeted by hoots in the local pub that night and so he was forced  to superglue his feathers one and .......................

 

..... give a brief demo around the bar, which .....

[turboplanner]

.......was so popular that he was signed for a six months Residency at the pub, which put him in the same bracket as current Las Vegas Headliner Residencies Rod Steward, Adele, Wayne Newton, Donny Osmond and Garth Brooks.

Theth flew a Thruthter at the weekends when he could get away without having to glue on all those feathers, and it wasn't long before ................

[Captain]

18 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......was so popular that he was signed for a six months Residency at the pub, which put him in the same bracket as current Las Vegas Headliner Residencies Rod Steward, Adele, Wayne Newton, Donny Osmond and Garth Brooks.

Theth flew a Thruthter at the weekends when he could get away without having to glue on all those feathers, and it wasn't long before ................

..... most of the Vegas Headliner Has-Beens were also flying Thrusters.

 

Rod and Wayne bought the latest Mk 4 side-by-side versions because they are big enough to take their walking frames with the oxygen bottles still strapped on, so the Thruster could be enjoyed by .......

Edited May 1 by Captain

[Captain]

Rod's walking frame was made from solid yellow and white gold and the dark bits are constructed from the more expensive Unobtainium.

His experiments failed to have his oxygen cylinders made from solid gold, as it will not take the pressure.

 

[turboplanner]

7 hours ago, Captain said:

..... most of the Vegas Headliner Has-Beens were also flying Thrusters.

 

Rod and Wayne bought the latest Mk 4 side-by-side versions because they are big enough to take their walking frames with the oxygen bottles still strapped on, so the Thruster could be enjoyed by .......

....anyone except those who had been cremated, because they'd lost the ability to control the aircraft and wouldn't listen to instructions, even from Epaulette.

 

North Las Vegas Airport was a hive of acitvity every Saturday morning as the glitterati arrived with a trailer load of Ultralight parts and some could still be seen in the afternoons trying a tube here or there or there, or trying to start the Blueheads before calling "Bluehead Bernie" who helped out every time with his ratchet gun.

 

By late afternoon there were Ultralights downed in every second street of Vegas as famous people misjudged the fuel consumption.

 

By evening ...............................

 

 

Not many people know that Howard Hughes was the first person to build an Utralight. He tried to build one out of gold. His mistake was rushing into the protect without checking the weight of the material. He managed to make a beautiful streamlined cylinder, and even overcame the fuelage blowups when the Las Vegas pilots took them to 30,000 feet because "That's the height I always fly at". What he couldn't solve was the tendency of the Hughes U2 to nose over and plop down off the edge of the runway unless to rotated at 200 kts or more.

 

[Captain]

18 hours ago, turboplanner said:

By evening ..........

..... the rims had been stolen off most of them and the few that were still in one piece had been fitted with neon and UV lights, with pneumatic suspensions & a boom box installed by various Hispanic persons, so that they could bunny hop all the ......

Edited May 2 by Captain

[Captain]

18 hours ago, turboplanner said:

 ....... plop down .......

Cappy thanks Turdo for reintroducing the very immotive yet highly descriptive aviation term 'to plop down", .......................... as while Cappy has not yet "plopped down" he knows a few that have.

Edited May 2 by Captain

[turboplanner]

4 hours ago, Captain said:

..... the rims had been stolen off most of them and the few that were still in one piece had been fitted with neon and UV lights, with pneumatic suspensions & a boom box installed by various Hispanic persons, so that they could bunny hop all the ......

......way down the strip. As odd as this should have appeared, they were lost in the usual nightly traffic of dudes from Shanksville Ohio mooningeveryone from Cadillac convertibles to Rockers, hair Brylcreamed in Chopped A Models, to people dressed in Astronaut suits, to Rightly Cornute's gen shop where he stores Wayne Newton's suits. 

 

Eventually they could be seen parked near landmarks saying "What's up Dude, y'all wanna buy ma solid gold chariot?  And eager buyers from Shreveport Louisiana saying .......................

 

[Captain]

..... "Chute (or is it "Shoot"?) If'n I had the readies I would .......

[turboplanner]

......baait."

 

We should point out for the many NES readers around the world that the good Captain, who has his age listed on FB as 35 may have given away his real age in his last post.

 

Paracutes are described differently by these generations:

 

Silent Generation:       - 1946     Bombe de Terre

Baby Boomers:  1946 - 1954     Parachute

Gen X:                 1965 - 1980    Chute

Gen T/Millenials) 1981 - 1994    shoot

Gen Z:                   1995 - 2009  Never heard of it

Gen Alpha:            2010 -            Who wants to fly THAT slow!     

 

Of Course, before Cappy had been told to take the Elvis photo off his FB profile, .......................           

 

 

[Captain]

..... because he is, indeed 35, .................. when measured in cat years, .............. however this revelation by the good Turbo is slightly incorrect as the Skipper was not referring to the abreviation for a parachute. Crappy was thinking more about the s.........

Edited May 4 by Captain

[bull]

2 hours ago, Captain said:

..... because he is, indeed 35, .................. when measured in cat years, .............. however this revelation by the good Turbo is slightly incorrect as the Skipper was not referring to the abreviation for a parachute. Crappy was thinking more about the s.........

.shit that had caused at the blue oyster bar on Saturday night !! My god screamed  OT as he ...........

Edited May 5 by bull

[turboplanner]

.......reeled from the common word, which is is never utttered in genteel WA where txxds were put into slippers rather than dropped 4 metres.

There was a momentary silence while everyone except OT tried to comprehend the difference in standards in WA, but then someone pointed out that ..........................

[Captain]

..... once they are covered in sand, they become inert & petrified anyway, hence why WA has never had an outbreak of cholera or typhoid.

Nor is any Sand Monkey game to break wind due to sand blasting and silicosis restrictions in the WA constitution.

And dear readers, that was the driving force behind the ......

Edited May 5 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........great sand collections in the 1930s where residents were fined if they didn't sweep up the sand around their house and put it in the Red Bins provided by the Council, default fine 17 pounds two and six.

There were sand drives at the local football club to stop sand rash, and a special No Tackling on the sand rule.

The pubs would have Sand Buckets on the bar, and any sand walked in had to be swept up by the walker inner and put in the sand bucket.

The Sand storms were legendary; you couldn't see your hand in front of you, and people from the East (the part of Australia that had been civilised) called them ....................................

 

[Captain]

....... Sand Monkey Pharts, as they are similar to the Sahara dust that occasionally traverses the Atlantic and pollutes the Caribbean & South America, see the below map.

 

As can be seen, this is why in Sydney & Melbournistan, Perth is known as the "Aussie Dakar" (and Southern Cross is known as the Skippy version of that little sh#@hole town just outside Marrakech). Sometimes the WA Dust even contains South African accents.

 

The WA Sand Layer Forecast (TWASLF) is one if the most popular shows on the .....

 

 

 

Edited May 6 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........Fortabre network known by the in-people as the Black Web, because the Dark Web people can't see what the Black Web people are talking about, so when the Black web people see the Dark Web Sock Puppets in action they can introduce their own Sock Puppets to watch them.

The hot debates of course are about Climate Change and the UN, and the TWASLF is prediction Adelaide, and in particular Gawler Airport to be up to its knees in WA sand within the next three years. 

Hindly Street is predicted to fill up. The DWSPs are saying that Adelaide will sink under the incoming sea and the new beaches at Springfield will become the new Riviera, with luxury yachts parked around the hills. Conversely theTWASLFCPs (who BTW) are not backed by the TWASLF are saying  the only difference will be that all the sand will be washed to the low spots and fill up Hindley Street which was always a hole anyway. The Goolwa Aerodrome started buying Earth Scrapers until they .................

[Captain]

..... had enough stockpiled to sell.

 

So they opened a marketing office in the regional center of Mangeymuttinup and ......

[Captain]

..... did the ochre (and occa) equivalent of selling ice to Eskimos.

 

Do you know that Western Australians have 25 words for "Sand", and ......

[turboplanner]

......42 ways of cooking it.

On the great NorthWest Highway if you can stay awake looking at all the sand there's a Rest Stop which features "Big Sand"

Its problem is  no one can find it, so the visitor's book and website feedback are both still blank. even though it was opened by the Leyland Brothers in 1973 after they'd become lost looking for Monkey Mia.

When they finally found Monkey Mia they discovered there were no monkeys to film, so they filmed ................

 

 

 

[Captain]

.... the now famous northwestern Big Sand which Mick initially called Huge Sand but Mal insisted on the name "Gigantic Sand" because each grain was 3 times the size of that proxy white sand in the Witsundays, which doesn't even itch or abrade when someone puts a bucket full down your bathers (front OR back)?

 

So they built a 1 to 1 life-size model but the tourists still couldn't .......

Edited May 10 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....understand what it was or what they were supposed to be looking at; a bit like K'Gari#1 where if you stad looking at it for too long a dingo will come along and bite your finger off.

 

oT Advertising's little Creative Director "TO" came up with some videos based on the Flintstones, but that fell flat because no one in the East knew who they were.

 

"TO" then tried giving awa a bottle of sand for every airline ticket bought with a WA destination, but .....................

 

#1   Brought to you by the Tribe that never had apostophes because they hadn't been invented.

[Captain]

 

.... this caused an oversupply of already plentiful sand and the price of premium WA sand crashed to its lowest level since The Great Sand Scam of '84.

 

The result was .......

[turboplanner]

....an opportunity for the clever to take advantage of this low price, and some of these people started posing as identities on tractors sites, car sites, aviation sites starting innocent threads called things like "Looking after your Engine" where, once the discussion got going they would say something like "the cure for slow acceleration is a cup of WAGreat in every tankfull of fuel" and they would be inundated with orders from the faithful. In medical forums in discussions like Why Chemotherapy is bad for you" they would insert the suggestion that a teaspoon of WAGreat in every coffee could cure the cancer, and Latte Joints all over the cities began sporting big WAGreat signs.

Soon land values in the east had risen so much that the began to break new Sales Records when advertised as Sea Level - proof, and the Indian Oceam began pouring over WA.

Drifters [avref] replaced cars as the only way to get to work and ..................