The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

11 hours ago, turboplanner said:

The trouble started when bull chose the best looking female to grab ......

 

...... and in true captain bull fashion, he went straight for the prize, not realising (or did he?) that he still his middle finger dominant and erect, so that the lady was ......

[turboplanner]

.....quite surprised at this dismissive European type gesture from someone who looked so caring and mild from the outside so she called him a Wo.................

[Captain]

.....mble, as by chance, while we all know that bull came from bone, he was actually conceived on the Wimbledon Common, where Liz documented the family history and where ........

 

Edited May 25 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.........it was common for this type of thing to happen. Get rid of the bindiis and twigs, plant a few bushes and you had a Common, and they became common all over England. There's argument today whether this was because it got the activity out of sight of the little children or whether England was the originator of the greening and tree planting taking place all over the world today.

 

Meanwhile the Drifters were winched up, the Blueheads given a squirt of WD40 and SYB and they were off again (not like these poncy 4 cylinder .................................

[Captain]

20 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Meanwhile the Drifters were winched up, the Blueheads given a squirt of WD40 and SYB and they were off again (not like these poncy 4 cylinder ........

...... Evinrudes that Turbo has lunched over the years). Turdboy has one of the most extensive collections of buggered up Evinrude engines in the world and Turbine Crass Monuments PLC is considering building a pyramid next to the other poxy out-of-place pyramid at The Louvre (see below photo), to display them.

 

Meanwhile, and back to the present day, Turbo's last post (uphisKhyberref) has disclosed the secret development in OT's new workshop (Onesie is the 2024 Ralph Sarich of WA, given his automotive innovations ..... OEHOR is expected to receive his 2nd WAO 1st Class award for excellence, being the Order of Western Australia or WAKO as it is coloquially known), where this great engineer has taken a file and hacksaw and a lathe, and has grafted 2 blueheads together to make a V4 that is destined to .....

 

The proposal by TCMPLC is to construct a much larger pyramid outside The Louvre (to be known as the Turdamid) that will be thrice the size of the present one and will be filled with his lunched outboards .... and a few of his international bravery awards.

Edited May 26 by Captain

[turboplanner]

... be more reliable than the flat four Jabiru itself, and that's just for beginners.

OEHOR has been quietly sending advance drawings to his inner circle of friends of a V8 250 hp low revving engine made of magnesium from old Dodge Charger wheels.

 

It's based on the WANKER principle that a former WreckFlyne member had used without result because he was messing around on social media.

 

It's still only in the drawing stage, but when built would put the heavy Rotax, with all its garden hoses, out of business.

 

It's best feature is that mounts will match both Jabiru and Rotax so fitting one will just be a bolt on procedure.

 

Prop will be crankshaft drive, the way Orville always wanted it and ........................

 

 

[Captain]

On 26/05/2024 at 3:59 PM, turboplanner said:

Prop will be crankshaft drive, the way Orville always wanted it and ........

.... what Orville Turbine (III) wants, he usually got.

 

Although Kingsford Smith Turbine and Douglas (Bader) Turbine preferred drive through a gearbox, but in his usual left field way, Leonardo Turbine wanted to use the mean & green quantum physics drive unit that he had conceived in 1510 and as he was a pretty pushy bloke, the Turbine family met to discuss the merits of each, and ......

[Captain]

..... Amelia Turbine made the sandwiches plus brewed the coffee, before saying "That in her experience over the Pacific, .....

[turboplanner]

.....shows that you should never go down because it always ends in tears, and points to the Gimli Glider as the best example of ocean survival. "Flyin's better n floatin" she said.

 

The others raised their heads in surprise then went on with the conversation; Amelia wasn't the sharpest tool in the drawer.

 

Leonardo had moved to China to get the benefits of lower manufacturing cost but was suffering the disadvantage of language. When he ordered six ball joints he was given a plate of cat meat.

 

He was also learning the lesson of trying to build an engine without doing the drawings first. You can buy 4 dozen pencils in Draftsman grades for the price of a carton of milk in China, but Leonardo kept getting ahead of himself and when the parts came back nothing fitted.

 

He spent all day with an angle grinder trying to correct his mistakes, just like Turbo's neighbour.

 

As a result, in the meetings he could only talk theories which the others soon tired of.

 

"If it hasn't got a gearbox, how are you going to get enough revs?" Douglas (Bader) Turbine posed rhetorically.

 

"Was that what happened when you took off in coarse pitch in the Spitfar?" asked Kingsford Smith Turbine sarcastically, and a fight broke out.

 

Orville Turbine (III) said "Since none of you can agree, we'll go with direct drive.

 

And so Turbine 1 was built. As light as a feather, capable of carrying two overweight Turbines and their snacks and drinks over large distances and always easy to start. It didn't sound like the average recreational aircraft, but.......................

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Captain]

39 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

And so Turbine 1 was built. As light as a feather, capable of carrying two overweight Turbines and their snacks and drinks over large distances and always easy to start. It didn't sound like the average recreational aircraft, but ..........

...... then again, as Leonardo Turbine (my close & best mate, Turgid Plonker Turbine's brilliance and forward thinking so often reminds my of Leo) often lamented from Gwangju and from Padua, the angle of the .......

[turboplanner]

4 hours ago, Captain said:

...... then again, as Leonardo Turbine (my close & best mate, Turgid Plonker Turbine's brilliance and forward thinking so often reminds my of Leo) often lamented from Gwangju and from Padua, the angle of the .......

......isosceles is related to the base by a factor of three.” He had picked this up watching the isosceles being grilled over open fires in the Padua evening markets. Not only that ....

[Captain]

11 hours ago, turboplanner said:

......isosceles is related to the base by a factor of three.” He had picked this up watching the isosceles being grilled over open fires in the Padua evening markets. Not only that ....

.... but when somebody developed the sniffles in Padua, it became evident that as well as designing the wing X-section for the F35, Leonardo had been messing around with Gain of Function Research and the Isosceles were equivalent to Pangolins in 2020. (In the GOFR lab, Leo was known as Tony Turbine the twerp and the Turbine family still denies his involvement to this day).

 

The Isosceles were also regarded, back in the 1500's, as akin to whales, where they were used to produce perfumes and oils after wringing them out before they were taken to the market to be grilled.

 

As a strange twist of fate, which doomed the Isosceles to extinction, AGIP had found a way to use them to make 2-Stroke oil and it was this oil that enabled the V8 BlueHeads to reliably produce the extreme HP that they did.

 

The only issue was that ........

Edited May 30 by Captain

[bull]

On 30/05/2024 at 9:37 PM, Captain said:

.... but when somebody developed the sniffles in Padua, it became evident that as well as designing the wing X-section for the F35, Leonardo had been messing around with Gain of Function Research and the Isosceles were equivalent to Pangolins in 2020. (In the GOFR lab, Leo was known as Tony Turbine the twerp and the Turbine family still denies his involvement to this day).

 

The Isosceles were also regarded, back in the 1500's, as akin to whales, where they were used to produce perfumes and oils after wringing them out before they were taken to the market to be grilled.

 

As a strange twist of fate, which doomed the Isosceles to extinction, AGIP had found a way to use them to make 2-Stroke oil and it was this oil that enabled the V8 BlueHeads to reliably produce the extreme HP that they did.

 

The only issue was that ........

.....someone had discovered that the gain of function research had actually been started way back in 2021 on several of the Turdine industries cat farms in Tasmania!! Now the Tasmanian Government had got involved and issued a warrant for Turdy himself. Of course this had made Turdy...............

Edited June 3 by bull

[Captain]

1 hour ago, bull said:

.....someone had discovered that the gain of function research had actually been started way back in 2021 on several of the Turdine industries cat farms in Tasmania!! Now the Tasmanian Government had got involved and issued a warrant for Turdy himself. Of course this had made Turdy...............

.... "A Rebel Without a Because", ....... because his initial aim with GOFR was to declaw the little buggers, after he had been attacked, with intent, by 300 rebel catfarm moggies and they had gone straight for Turdy's .....

 

welcome back captain bull

Edited June 3 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....most delicate part.

Two years fof persistent research had uncovered the secrets of GOFR and he had quietly applied it to Recreational Aircraft design, helping to  add to the outstanding designs coming from Eastern Europe such as the Faata, which ..........

[Captain]

9 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....most delicate part.

Two years fof persistent research had uncovered the secrets of GOFR and he had quietly applied it to Recreational Aircraft design, helping to  add to the outstanding designs coming from Eastern Europe such as the Faata, which ..........

.... is methane powered and sounds like a .....

[Captain]

10 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Two years fof persistent research had uncovered the secrets of GOFR and he had quietly applied it to Recreational Aircraft design

I'm sure that all informed NESers were aware that during 2020 to 2023 this GOFR work was the reason why all AUF aircraft became either very wide or very long ......... as they were designed to maintain social distancing with the pilot and passenger needing to be at least 2 metres apart. Those aircraft might be a tad difficult to sell unless Bird Flu GOFR (BFGOFR) needs social distancing to be 2 m or more.

Edited June 4 by Captain

[turboplanner]

On 04/06/2024 at 3:23 AM, Captain said:

.... is methane powered and sounds like a .....

....long, loud and high-pitched ........................

[Captain]

33 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....long, loud and high-pitched ........................

..... expulsion of .....

[Captain]

Following several searches using Duck Duck Go (DDG), as Google are for some reason suppressing the following true data, it is a DDG fact that the Faata aircraft (manufactured by Fan Aircraft Corporation, a distant and slower subsidiary of Turbine AirBoeLockRayPrattRolls Corp which is somewhat dominant in the public and military aviation space, but needed a brand for the common man and you can't get more common than Phart jokes), so Faata was named after a wind in Macedonia which Alexander the Great (known as AtG to his flying mates) said was similar to the Bora and Meltemi, but which carried a strange odor from up between the hills.

[turboplanner]

On 05/06/2024 at 6:25 AM, Captain said:

..... expulsion of .....

......a non-fossil gas.

”This” thought Turbo, “could be put to use on Bluehead powered machines where the pilot and passenger provided part of the fuel, and so, like the hybrid cars, could be claimed as zero emission vehicles.

The problem occurred where the occupants had just eaten a meal of plumbs and .......

[Captain]

12 hours ago, turboplanner said:

......a non-fossil gas.

”This” thought Turbo, “could be put to use on Bluehead powered machines where the pilot and passenger provided part of the fuel, and so, like the hybrid cars, could be claimed as zero emission vehicles.

The problem occurred where the occupants had just eaten a meal of plumbs and .......

..... like almost all AUF members, they were fossils.

 

As every older (fossil) person knows, an outbreak of gas and a few accidentally ingested plumb stones can be a dangerous and sometimes fatal mix ..... not so much for the ingester, but for any hapless associate that is within ......

[turboplanner]

......1000 metres of the emitter.

The AUF had been a smart bunch, in many ways being ahead of themselves (and some people thought, up themselves), so they had introduced the Emission Rules for Airman Regulation DOT.

 

This regulation had been widely debated for nearl a decade by it seems every resident of the United States except the Mexicans who wre making a fortune out of selling the morning coffee.

 

In essence it required a Pilot In Command to fit to his aircraft or his person, a catch bag to collect the green plumbs after they had been emitted. This saved thousands of lives around the world from hapless housewives out for the morning shipping to ....................

[Captain]

15 hours ago, turboplanner said:

a catch bag to collect the green plumbs after they had been emitted.

The especially clever design by Turbine Catch Bags (TCB) is credited with saving many AUF members from damaging their own plumbs via collateral damage from plumb stones fired at near supersonic speeds.

 

The TCB unit works in a similar manner to the shell catcher shown in the below video, but there remains a slight issue with removal of the plumb stones when AUF members need to reach around to detach them after they have been caught as shown in the video (it is a bit erky perky).

 

 

Edited June 7 by Captain

[Captain]

16 hours ago, turboplanner said:

This saved thousands of lives around the world from hapless housewives out for the morning shopping to ............

.... other civilians being strafed in the Moorabbin Bunnings carpark by plumb seeds (in a manner identical to an FA18 on a Taliban compound, see below video) delivered from AUF aircraft that were out to get their Saturday morning $100 hamburger.

 

The same hapless housewives (HHs), however, also weren't too happy to see .....

 

 

 

Edited June 7 by Captain