turboplanner Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 "Bugga! gotta go...someone's set fire to sumthin... Turbo's diversion had worked. There's nothing that attracts a fireman more than a fire. He'd also put a gate across the road, so McLocks wouold be there for hours. He checked the windsock and started an approach for the upwind runway. From the ether came the sound of an RPT "Sorry old chap, but I'm going to make a downwind landing to save a minute or two - bip off will you?" But this was not one of the gentlefolk of Wagga Wagga, this was Turbo, who hadn't had a speedway drive for a while and thought this might be a good opportunity. "B*gger Off" said Turbo, this is the duty runway. Now there is nothing harder that the spinner of a Jab, and only one place to hit a Dash 8 and get away with it and that's directly on the nose.........
Captain Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 Now there is nothing harder that the spinner of a Jab, and only one place to hit a Dash 8 and get away with it and that's directly on the nose......... "Leave that Dashy alone, Tubb" radioed The Rat (even though radio devices are prohibited when the seatbelt light is on) "For I am sitting in 2B on my way back to YSWG and the last thing I need is to be delayed by a Victorian mint sucking (ex)speedway driver in an arctic mint coloured Jabiru, so bugger off north of the river for 10 minutes like the rest of us do." But in light of Tubb's earlier post, the Victorian rural community was thrown into confusion when they learnt that the earth has tilted since 1886 and true north has moved 3 degrees. "All fences are the be realigned by 30.06.10" decreed the boss Brumby "As this will be our very own economic stimulous package (and my son Pony fortuitously has a fencing contractor's business under an assumed name and a fictitious shareholding). "That'll provide a good bit more fencing wire for me to keep my outboards running" said Tubb "While I ......
ahlocks Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 ....While Tubaroonie was watching his radio and taunting the dash driver, he'd failed to notice the swarm of warriors gathering at all points of the compass. :vis: Littlewrecks 1 straight in for 05 Tallyho! Littlewrecks 2 straight in for 23 Tallyho! Littlewrecks 3 straight in for 12 Tallyho! Littlewrecks 4 straight in for 30 Tallyho! "He's in for it!!" gulped the local engineer. "Yep..Not a good move to stir up an RPT hive" :scratching head:agreed the refueller. "The baby ones come at you :splat:from all directions...
turboplanner Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 "That'll provide a good bit more fencing wire for me to keep my outboards running" said Tubb "While I ...... .. would be keen to take on the fencing contract for Mr Brumby, I don't think I've got a tape long enough to measure them. Perhaps Deccadence who has been brown nosing the ex Administrator might have the answer.............
turboplanner Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 "Hello, Horlocks is back from the fire" said Turbo, "and I see they've made a special smiley for Qwerty too" Thoughtfully he began to consider whether this hornet's nest was really worth stirring.....
Captain Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 ....While Tubaroonie was watching his radio and taunting the dash driver, he'd failed to notice the swarm of warriors gathering at all points of the compass. :vis: Littlewrecks 1 straight in for 05 Tallyho! Littlewrecks 2 straight in for 23 Tallyho! Littlewrecks 3 straight in for 12 Tallyho! Littlewrecks 4 straight in for 30 Tallyho! "He's in for it!!" gulped the local engineer. "Yep..Not a good move to stir up an RPT hive" :scratching head:agreed the refueller. "The baby ones come at you :splat:from all directions... "I am a new student" said 5000hrsFred "And I have heaps of time on twins on bank runs, so I am now ready to learn to fly RPTs and then work my way up the professional (sic) pilot's food chain." "Well" said his Instructa "We first have to get rid of all your bad habits, so why are we lining up with the small bit of the windsock pointing at us?" "That's good airmanship" answered Fred. "Well you'll never get anywhere in this business like that, so we'll now practice all week to get you used to downwind takeoffs and landings and remember th e pnmonic IYCSUITBIOKFADWLOD. Now write it out 100 times "If you can stand up in the breeze it is OK for a downwind landing or departure". "And don't forget TBBOTWIMF .... The big bit of the windsock is my friend" "But what if .............
turboplanner Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 "But what if ............. "....there's one of those ever so nice little Ultralights on the Duty Runway? he asked. "Never mind that, here I'll show you" said the Instructa and conducted a circuit which took in Henty, which Turbo had been quietly orbiting. Somewhat unhappy with the wake turbulence of the Dash 8, Turbo rammed the Jab throttle wide open. There was no difference, but in the interests of continuity we'll assume he caught up with the Dash 8. Pulling alongside the Dash 8 he slid in front of the wing, and sticking his leg out through the gap between the door and the frame, gave Instructa's cabin a hearty kick as he'd seen many sidecar riders do in the past. The thing about a bully is no one ever stands up to them, and to everyone's surprise, Instructa burst into tears and headed off for Queensland......
Captain Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 "....to everyone's surprise, Instructa burst into tears and headed off for Queensland...... .... where Instructa was last seen flying a Drifta with Nanna near Tawoomba practicing downwind landings near a Tracta. "If I duck over to one of the mines and land this Drifta on a conveya, I wonder if it would take off again if the conveya speed was automatically controlled (slowed down?) to match the speed of the Drifta?" Structa asked, not having searched any earlier threads (for he was merely a GA Type of Structa). "Nanna in a Drifta in T'woomba?" asked Decca "What am I going to do for my sleeping pill tonight?" "You'll have to do the same as Turbs does and ........
ahlocks Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 ..."You'll have to do the same as Turbs does and ........ ..... kick some heads! :super: "It's very therapeutic!" chirped Tubz. " 'specially kickin' the ones with the real big heads." :killen: "Nasty RAA mongrel!" blubbered the 'structa. "You wait till I have a whinge to my poon buddies about you."
Captain Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 ..... 'structa. So Ahlocks has won the punctuation award for July. It's always nice to see a new-australian winning such an award. "Get me out of 'woomba and this 'drifta" said 'nanna. "I want to get back to 'wagga and then to 'toria to my darling 'decca for a bit of 'jigga." Ok, we'll ........
turboplanner Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 Ok, we'll ........ "....'bugga, off to 'Chewka to see if 'ecca is up there with 'locka, in case 'Wokka wants to 'commodate us there 'steada in 'Wagga.....
ahlocks Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 So Ahlocks has won the punctuation award for July.. Huh?! I thunked it was a fly nugget that was stuck to the screen....
ahlocks Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 FlyspotLock had written a vitriolic spray :dog: about pompus little wet behind the ears 'structas , but realised that it was based on a nasty little snot :csm: on proon and bore no resemblance to the locals :thumb_up:, so thought better of it lest a confusion be made. "Must stop reading that tripe..." he thunked "Or I'll end up just as twitter and bisted"...:scratch head: "There, there, dear." Soothed Nanna :heart:. "Have some of Dikka's :polite: asian calming balm and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up "........ ========== Has the Nanna in the garden worn poor dikkaDint out? :run:
turboplanner Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 Has the Nanna in the garden worn poor dikkaDint out? :run: "it was probably over-celebration about his throat results" said Turbo to Lotsaflyspots. "Or is could possibly be he's still helping the new girls find their landmarks, in particulat him" "I've noticed a couple haven't been posting lately" said Lotsaflyspots "It's all pointing in the one direction, isn't it....."
Tomo Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 "I've noticed a couple haven't been posting lately" said Lotsaflyspots Well I've got an excuse........:bad computer:
turboplanner Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 Can you explain what a Sine is? Otherwise I have to climb up to the top of an Aero Shield on a B Double and get someone to drive through a gutter until my fingers are chopped off by the A Trailer
Captain Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 Turbo to be charged Excerpt from the Lockhart Daily Blab ............... Well known 'Torian identity, the TurboDangler, is to be charged following the deaths of lots of cute little Walt Disney style furry animals between Uranquinty and Yerrong Creek over recent weeks. "There were lots of cute Koalas, Possums, Quokkas, tiny delicate little Joeys, Wombats and assorted other Mars-you-Pials" said a rather butch Police and RSPCA spokesperson "And in each case we have found samples of Turbo's dna." "What?" exclaimed Tubb's lawyer (who was a bit turned off at that). "Oooooooh yucky pooh." he blurted "At what end of the animal did you find the dna?" he asked. "It was at the eating end" replied the spokesperson "So we are not charging him with "that", but in each case the poor little cute & cuddly animal had injested a silver and green Arctic Mint wrapper, each of which was covered with some of 'Turbz''' bodily fluids ........... and as a result we are trying to find him. Now we all know that he does "Bang-on" a little, but does anyone know where BangHome actually is? Is it real or a joke? And I ask Tubbo to give himself up immediately". He will ....... The pen of my Aunt says that Tomo will also be charged with writing everything on the NES in the 1st person. It's not all about you Tomo-the Homo ........... sapian ............................... it's all about us.
Tomo Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 He will ....... ..........Put up a fight! The pen of my Aunt says that Tomo will also be charged with writing everything on the NES in the 1st person. It's not all about you Tomo-the Homo ........... sapian ............................... it's all about us. Haha........... That's all I have to say!
turboplanner Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 ..........Put up a fight! And he did. He employed specialist lawyers Slatter and Gordoni, who said Turbodangler was a known conservationalist, and provbided a short video. They were able to prove that the butch police and RSPCA spokesperson was known for throwing people, and had failed to carry out proper analysis of the lolly wrappers. They pointed out that independent analysis had shown the artic mints came from a Ukrainian Tartic hooch shop proprietor who never washed his hands before plunging them into the Arctic Mint mix, and since he skun skunks every morning a bacteria which was deadly to the animals dear to Turboplungers heart, had killed them. They pointed out there were no signs saying "Do not litter" along the road, because NSW people didn't give a stuff (they said that in legal language) As a consequence they were able to prove beyond reasonable doubt that Mr Rat, had failed in his Duty of Care by buying cheap Mints. Rat now became public enemy No 1 as the tearful residents of the Riverina noticed the dead animals throughout the countryside, and a few days later smelt them.
Captain Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 That's all I have to say about thaaaat. ...said Tomo Gump.
Captain Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 They pointed out that independent analysis had shown the artic mints came from a Ukrainian Tartic hooch shop proprietor who never washed his hands before plunging them into the Arctic Mint mix, and since he skun skunks every morning a bacteria ............. Rat now became public enemy No 1 as the tearful residents of the Riverina noticed the dead animals throughout the countryside, and a few days later smelt them. "That is no way to describe Ahlovachski." said some bloke. "He is not Ukrainian, he is SerbianArmenianBoznian (and proud of it) and it can be proven that The Ratski was sure that his Tarcticski Mintski manufacturing process was kosha-ski." But it is not the mints that did the damage, it was the 'Torian supplied wrappers and the fluids deposited therein by The BangHolmeWrapperStuffer that killed the cute and cuddlies .................... and late news now has Magpies dropping off their perches at Pleasant Hills, even more often than Collingwood does. Slattersky & Gordoni dumped Tubb like a hot outboard with melted pistons and handed him over to ...............
turboplanner Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 Tomo, who as a morse code speaking alien was very familiar with "Twist" cases. "Firstly" said Tomo, "I couldn't help but notice that the Defendant" who reprimanded me for speaking in the first person, did so himself shortly thereafter. "And furthermore, he represents MINING interests" The judge looked at the lawyers and thje lawyers looked at the judge and the case was prolonged for six months.
turboplanner Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 Evidence of Turbo's kindness to animals presented by Slatter & Gordoni Cheetah.mpe
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