The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

56 minutes ago, onetrack said:

Then came the day when Sanjay found the........

..... disturbing lineage information that he was actually a Cherokee on his mum's side and Chippawa on his dad's.

 

"Oh, crikey" said Sanjay wearing his improvised headdress made from the feathers of his tame (now bald) magpie "This must be why I get a HORN every now and again that is often LITTLE but becomes BIG at times".

 

Sanjay considered how to still include the best of Indian (dot, not feather) beurocracy within CASA, while at the same time increasing their power to take the scalps from errant LAMEs.

 

This sure got the attention of the LAMEs Association, but was a bit of an issue .....

Edited September 13 by Captain

[Captain]

Sanjay's magpie inside his tepee, after its wing feathers grew back, and they were ready to be re-plucked.

[bull]

On 14/09/2024 at 12:12 AM, Captain said:

This sure got the attention of the LAMEs Association, but was a bit of an issue .....

..amongst the Indian {bottom photo ] community and the Indian [top photo] about cultural misappropriation and deceit of [decent]avref   .Now as this war was starting to brew Turdine industries could see an opportunity to make a few bucks and............ 

[Captain]

14 hours ago, bull said:

Now as this war was starting to brew Turdine industries could see an opportunity to make a few bucks and........

..... then realised that they already had 3 of them in bull's 1st photo, so Turdy ......

Edited September 15 by Captain

[turboplanner]

............file for Cook, Capt. James VIII missing ............

[bull]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

............file for Cook, Capt. James VIII missing ............

.............amongst a tribe of sex starved female natives in the massive jungles of.........

[Red]

6 hours ago, bull said:

.............amongst a tribe of sex starved female natives in the massive jungles of.........

Do you have coordinates?

[Captain]

7 hours ago, Red said:

Do you have coordinates?

Sorry Red. Both bull and Turbo are notoriously uncoordinated. 

 

13 hours ago, bull said:

.............amongst a tribe of sex starved female natives in the massive jungles of.........

..... Panama, where Cappy is located at the moment.

 

Cappy, ever the supporter of sex starved female native populations around the world, did his best to ......

 

A photo from the Panamanian jungle.

That is not Cappy, nor is it on of the SS'd ladies.

Edited September 16 by Captain

[Captain]

7 hours ago, Red said:

Do you have coordinates?

Dear Red. Welcome to the NES. Are you perhaps related to those 3 blokes in the top photo in bull's post a few above, and does your 2nd name start with an I?

[bull]

5 hours ago, Captain said:

Dear Red. Welcome to the NES. Are you perhaps related to those 3 blokes in the top photo in bull's post a few above, and does your 2nd name start with an I?

.Just for the info of our esteemed NES members This tribes location has been a very well kept secret amongst Turdine/CApitinano/Bovine conglomerate head members.And will not be disclosed on a public forum 😉

[bull]

6 hours ago, Captain said:

Sorry Red. Both bull and Turbo are notoriously uncoordinated. 

 

..... Panama, where Cappy is located at the moment.

 

Cappy, ever the supporter of sex starved female native populations around the world, did his best to ......

 

A photo from the Panamanian jungle.

That is not Cappy, nor is it on of the SS'd ladies.

..........to appear impartial, as a small fight began when a rather large and crusty version of the tribe began demanding more "attention" then the young nubile members from Turdo. {and as his supply of viagra had run out ] he had to call in reinforcements with more supplies, So out with the sat phone and straight  onto the speed dial for................

Edited September 16 by bull

[Captain]

5 minutes ago, bull said:

.Just for the info of our esteemed NES members This tribe's location has been a very well-kept secret amongst Turdine/CApitinano/Bovine conglomerate head members. And will not be disclosed on a public forum 😉

However, OT is already 5 hours into his flight (avref) heading over here, in the hope of getting some of the action.

[Captain]

7 minutes ago, bull said:

..... to appear impartial, as a small fight began when a rather large and crusty version of the tribe began demanding more "attention" than the young nubile members from Turdo he had to call in reinforcements, so out with the sat phone and straight onto ...... 

...... Prince Andrew, Bill Gates, Bill Clinton and 20 others as mentioned in the Epstein Island flight (avref) logs.

 

"Those 23 will provide the same copulatory capacity and enthusiasm as one Turbo" Turbo explained to the "attention" seeking lady, as he .......

Edited September 16 by Captain

[bull]

5 minutes ago, Captain said:

However, OT is already 5 hours into his flight (avref) heading over here, in the hope of getting some of the action.

I'm sure the crusty "big"members of the tribe will keep him busy ,lol

[Captain]

5 minutes ago, bull said:

I'm sure the crusty "big" members of the tribe will keep him busy ,lol

And there, dear readers, is one of the great and amazing things about the Wreck Frying website and Forums (Fora), and noting bull's loyalty to Onesie, it is clear that we all stick together and provide support for each other, no matter what.

Edited September 16 by Captain

[bull]

3 minutes ago, Captain said:

...... Prince Andrew, Bill Gates, Bill Clinton and 20 others as mentioned in the Epstein Island flight (avref) logs.

 

"Those 23 will provide the same copulatory capacity and enthusiasm as one Turbo" Turbo explained to the "attention" seeking lady, as he .......

....suddenly found his feet bound in vine and 4 of the before mentioned crusty members had taken him for their sex slave and dragged him off into the bush ,the sat phone left laying on the sand. We are not some backward simple tribe my man ! one of the crustier members stated. We know the Quality of these imports you seek are very inferior to Turdo! Now we demand................

[bull]

1 minute ago, Captain said:

And there, dear readers, is one of the great and amazing things about the Wreck Frying website and Forums (Fora), and noting bull's loyalty to Onesie, it is clear that we all stick together and provide support for each other, no matter what.

What are mates for old Ratty????

[Captain]

3 minutes ago, bull said:

....suddenly found his feet bound in vine and 4 of the before mentioned crusty members had taken him for their sex slave and dragged him off into the bush ,the sat phone left laying on the sand. We are not some backward simple tribe my man ! one of the crustier members stated. We know the Quality of these imports you seek are very inferior to Turdo! Now we demand................

.... that Turdo & his outstanding capacity + endurance be cloned, like Dolly the sheep, but we want about 20 of them so that we will be certain to be .......

[bull]

11 minutes ago, Captain said:

.... that Turdo & his outstanding capacity + endurance be cloned, like Dolly the sheep, but we want about 20 of them so that we will be certain to be .......

..............breeding only female children [as so far amongst the 45 children he has already spawned on the island there is no males,so they believe he will only produce females so therefore is a sought after commodity.] .and advancing the tribe on the global scale.  Turdo gave a slight gurgle and cough and looked for a way out, then suddenly a rotax at full scream could be heard as OT came banking [avref] around the corner in his seaplane and landed and taxied up to the beach. As the aircraft grounded a massive roar could be heard as...................                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               [Turdo,s harem with a sex prisoner wearing the yellow hat in the background sulking cause  he has also run out of viagra] 

Edited September 16 by bull

[Captain]

16 hours ago, bull said:

 [Turdo,s harem with a sex prisoner wearing the yellow hat in the background sulking cause  he has also run out of viagra]

Dear bull. The photo is a little fuzzy, but I think that may be OT wearing his "Welcome to WA" yellow hat, as he has been there now for a few hours and may have been making a pig of himself.

[Captain]

16 hours ago, bull said:

As the aircraft grounded a massive roar could be heard as.............

..... the ladies cheered once they realised what a human dynamo prize had just arrived into their laps (somewhat literally ..... or that was his intent).

 

OT's eyes popped when he saw the smorgasbord that met his aircraft (avref), and even though he had just put 140 hours of non-stop flight (another avref) onto his engine (rotaxref) [OT is a brilliant engineer, and had designed, manufactured and fitted his own design of fuel bladder, plus also his own bladder bladder], and while Onesie was tired, he was not too tired to .........  

Edited September 17 by Captain

[onetrack]

........service all the ladies, then service the aircraft, then service bulls prawn trawler, which had seen little servicing ever since bull became Captain of it.

 

Meantimes, it appears there has been substantial misrepresentation over the years, as regards Cappys famous ancestor, Capt James Cook. It seems that James Cook made many claims to fame, none of which can be fully verified. The Tahitian Vahines and their free love can be verified, but the rest of the stories seem rather embellished.

 

Even James Cooks famous death has been substantially altered. Few people know that the Tahitian men got angry with Capt Cook over a substantial unpaid bill for grass hut accommodation, and when they saw him preparing to depart without paying his accommodation bill, they became enraged, and tried to stop him, and the rest is history.

 

As a result, Cappy (who is a noted large accommodation provider in Wagga, having seen how much money the Tahitians made from renting simple grass huts), is very careful to ensure that all accommodation payments for any rooms in his vast accommodation empire, are paid for up-front, with no chance of any layabout sailors (such as Capt bull) getting away with free accommodation. However, there was one time, when....................

 

(and here Dear NES readers, we have the definitive book on the real story behind Capt James Cook's exploits, where it has been revealed what a terrible scoundrel he actually was!.....)

 

 

[Captain]

12 hours ago, onetrack said:

 

(and here Dear NES readers, we have the definitive book on the real story behind Capt James Cook's exploits, where it has been revealed what a terrible scoundrel he actually was!.....)

..... as it has now been proven that he did not actually discover our Great Southern Land (the GSL), but instead bypassed it and took a shortcut through the Panama Creek, so that he could claim expenses for the Botany Bay to Cooktown sector, using faked receipts.

 

He also couldn't locate Venus when in the South Pacific, and instead recorded the transit of the moon, which was easier to find. "Those dicks in the Greenwich Observatory will never tumble to it" he is recorded to have said to little Matty Flinders).

 

As is mentioned on the pewter plate now housed in the Moorabbin Natural History Museum, Australia was actually discovered by Captain Horatio (Hot-Lips) Turbine who was, at that time, lost on his trip from London to Portsmouth, and who .....

Edited September 18 by Captain

[Captain]

22 hours ago, Captain said:

As is mentioned on the pewter plate now housed in the Moorabbin Natural History Museum, Australia was actually discovered by Captain Horatio (Hot-Lips) Turbine who was, at that time, lost on his trip from London to Portsmouth, and who .....

..... had turned left instead of right when he sailed out of the Thames and had therefore gone the long way from London to Portsmouth.

 

Hotlips and his crew were therefore the first group to choose to holiday in Tasmania (the highlights being Burnie and Bell Bay), Melbourne, Wollongong, Newcastle and in Queensland as part the same cruise itinerary.

 

It is understood that, as a result, they found the cruise to be both depressing & very disappointing, although their reviews on TripAdvisor have been scrubbed by ......

[onetrack]

....... several TripAdvisor moderators, who upon further inquiries, were all found to have Tahitian ancestry. The scrubbing of the reviews led to severe consternation amongst the Cook descendants and even some of the crews descendants, as they all believed some kind of major campaign to nullify the importance of their reviews was being carried out surreptitiously, and as a result, Turbine Legal was engaged to initiate a lawsuit for $300B against TripAdvisor, its Directors, its Moderators, and even the TripAdvisor webmaster, for acts causing great hurt, and serious financial loss to the defendants.

 

The case was due to be heard by the International Court of Justice (due to the global nature and multiple world-wide locations of the Cook cruise - but unfortunately, at the last moment, as Turbo donned his wig (and how he loves dressing up in it, too!), it was declared that an adjournment would be necessary as no tickets for the trip could be found, and therefore little evidence could be presented that the trip ever existed in a legal sense!

 

The legal circles were abuzz with the news, and Turbo couldn't move anywhere in public without a microphone being shoved under his nose, and the question asked, "Do you think..........

 

Edited September 20 by onetrack