turboplanner Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 Turbo had slipped back into Wagga Wagga, avoided being slung into the wagon, and was busy distributing goats head thorns around Rat's Jab, parked outside the hangar for an early getaway....... Goats Head Thorns Here up in North Queensland we suffer punctures from goats head thorns - these are small little thorns that work their way through 6 ply!
Tomo Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 Goats Head thorns....?? We call 'em Bull horns up here...!
planedriver Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 :black_eye: Deccadence is as Deccadence does However, as we know, he once lazed at a desk with a cup of coffee or hostie on it and flicked a switch every now and again, with a few interspersed "Operations Normal Skipper", although he dodn'y know what abnormal was....... Our mate Decca possibly knows more about flicking switches and how to procure a leggy latte than he's probably prepared to admit. Thats why Ian included this smiley:black_eye: I kid you not!
turboplanner Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 He certainly does. Turbo certainly has been sworn to secrecy on that grounds that certain scenes may be just too much for Il Ratta..
Guest Decca Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 ......and a new day dawned at El Rat Castle. Early morning sunlight bounced off the gold molar into Cupid's bowl in the foyer. No lollies! Meanwhile the sun had still not risen in Bongville. Deccadent flicked another switch......
turboplanner Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 ......a 44000 volt shock went through Locksie's rump, and he sprang out of bed. "Where's Bongville?" he cried, trying to work out if he'd been out on the town last night, or Wagga had been taken over by Decathlons. Deccadence turned a dial.....
Guest Decca Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 .............and tuned in Bongville on the FMS (an absolute luxury on the Brand X 3-Holer). There it was in its rural setting right next door to Chelsea Heights (whose name the writer is not clever enough to corrupt). Locksie looked over Deccadenser's (subtle spelling) shoulder. With some fine tuning the silos came into view. Our opportunity was ripe while the TurboTroublemaker was harassing The Rat to investigate the missile sized hole in the top of each silo.....
turboplanner Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 .......aeronautical activity?, story flow?, it was all getting too much for Turbo who was mortified some years ago to find Microsoft Spell Checker rejecting "Bangholme", and suggesting the alternatve "Bung Hole". Just when he need the Rat, Deccadence, like some alien had grown teeth and was knocking holes in the tops of silos with Locksie. And ditDot was away, having set out on an epic Navigation Exercise and was lucky enough (for a Queenlander) to realise he'd reached the Coast, for which his instructor gave him a little gold star. He took a photo of it, to use next time he was over this way and needed a geographic reference. He sure doesn't talk about Drifters these days after getting a taste of the powerful Jab. But Turbo needed him here now. He hoped they weren't missile silos........
Captain Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 "Don't worry" yelled the Rat, so that he would be heard in Bung Hole and Python Valley "I have found Ahlocks." "I have just returned from Sydney on the QF and was staring out the window thinking how much better my 230 is, when I saw Goldie's van on the road about 10 kms east of Ladysmith. There was a campfire nearby and he looked quite comfortable, as those Mercs have a heap of room for sleeping in the back". "Then I saw it "added the Skipper. "Some cockie had padlocked the gate on that road about a week ago to keep the Torian Lolly Wrapper Fauna Killer out, and Goldie has been stuck there ever since" When he saw the QF Dashy, Goldie pointed to a sign he had laid out on the ground and made from keys and rivets, which spelt out "Send help, it's a $4.76 Lockwood and they are really hard .................... and land into the wind, you bastard." So I'll let the coppers know where he is, about Friday. "In the meanwhilst, does anyone want to come for a spin in a SportSzara? We can pull a 6G turn over the top of him and shower him in rivets." "I will" said ..............
Guest Decca Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 .......I will". said Deccadense. "But first Captain Rat, Sir, consider this; It’s all so simple, it’s falling into place now. Deccadense is catching on (at last). “I’ve just got to keep it simple” he thought. “I’ve realised I can’t get too deep or these guys lose it and go tangential”. FoxHunter nodded sagely and went to find his banner Big Pete agreed and said “I had to leave, until there is more of a challenge here”. DON’T DO IT TOMO! You’ll be safe in the Drifter but DON’T overfly Bung Hole or Bongville, whatever, in the Jabiru. You must be able to see the connection between the missing lollies and the silos - TurboDoubleTrouble has installed lolly fodder firing cannon to shoot down Jabirus. After all, wasn’t he the first to utter Jabiru & wheelbarrow in the same sentence??
turboplanner Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 "No", said Tomo who knew how to keep out of trouble "It was you, Deccadence who called the Ratmobile a wheelbarrow. I fly one, and Drifters are S:censored:". "Calling Mr Rat Sir is not going to do it for you" he said Turbo was also concerned that Deccadence had let the cat out of the bag about what in fact were spud guns designed to fire multiple Thorpdale potatoes (which were too hard to eat) in much the same way as a shotgun works. Turbo had been waiting for some luckless student to come out into the Moorabbin training area then BOOM! So the Rat had caught Locksie in the scheme to put another one on him........ Edited by an anonymous moderator who was not called slarti for language.
turboplanner Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 ....and everyone held their breath and waited to see what sort of a spray Foxhunter was going to give Deccadence......
Guest Decca Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 "Deccadence" said Foxhunter (sagely). "If I were you, I'd buy an old hulk of a Brand X 3-Holer, set it up among the trees of Snake Gully, renovate it and retire gracefully." "In addition" he added (sagely), "write a sorely needed Operations & Performance paper for the forums, or spend the rest of your days reminiscing with Big Pete about........"
turboplanner Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 or spend the rest of your days reminiscing with Big Pete about........" "3 holers and other things in the jargon Captains used (thank goodness the passengers knew what a Boeing 727 was, someone had to)" What Deccadence didn't know was that Pete was a Tunnel Rat - in fact he'd almost completed a tunnel under the Murray......
Guest Decca Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 DON'T DO IT TOMO, DON'T DO IT! Captain, Sir, Tell Tomo not to do it!
Guest Decca Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 ....... In search of.......... The Truth. In support of Deccadence. Pete won't rest now until he clears Deccadence of .....
Tomo Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 DON'T DO IT TOMO, DON'T DO IT! Captain, Sir, Tell Tomo not to do it! Yes Sssiiirrrrreee Deccadence.... I'll just use the Drifter with my double barrel spud gun filled with stones... (you didn't hear that Tubzz) that'll soon fix em!!
Guest Decca Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 Quote: "3 holers and other things in the jargon Captains used (thank goodness the passengers knew what a Boeing 727 was, someone had to)" Old aviation term among informed passengers. I forget what Boeing people called the DC-9 (probably pocket rocket or something) but Douglas peole referred to the B727 only as the brand X 3-Holer, because they couldn't say Boeing. Sorry, didn't see you there.
turboplanner Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 An upbeat Ratto had breezed into town, given a vintage, but short speech, taken the local school teachers, Wagga Meatworks slaughterhouse workers, and the chook pluckers up in the Sportsczar which was now so short of rivets it looked like LaToya Jackson with a wardrobe malfunction, and has disappeared. However, shortly there was a wailing of sirens heading for the Wagga Base Hospital and out stepped LockedUp with an ambulance attendant on one side and Madam Doubtfire on the other. Jumping out of the Lexus behind them was a breathless Rat. "I had to take the locks off all the doors for the last five kilometres" he said "Even with the Madam entertaining him, he'd stop every time he saw a lock." Ahlocks turned and looked towards the Hogs Breath Cafe in the centre of town......
ahlocks Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 ...and thanked <insert diety of choice> that he didn't have a radio or transponder fitted to the daywork truck as otherwise, he'd have run clean over El Ratto and his gleaming chrome and white motor scooter! "If it weren't for the flash of gold light from behind the visor, I'd have got 'im!" O'Loch explained anyone who'd listen :gerg:. "And bugger me drunk, if he doesn't turn off into the Gumly truckie's servo for a lunch meeting with the Riverina Rodents outlaw scooter gang (el Ratto is the founding....and only member.) rather than keep his caffeine appointment." :Disappointed: Having spent three days bludgeoning :pc strikes back: a new 'puter into submission (bloody Vista :baldy:), WatchingQuietlyLoch finds the Sportztsar has been denuded of rivets :uhoh2:, Tubz has been () anonymously moderated and DikaDint isn't as innocent :polite: as he makes out and may well have. :hump: half the hosties working the J curve. :bmwrider: Yeah, yeah. blame the 'puter........... ============== Foxhunter...sagely..... .....in the garden.
turboplanner Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 Yeah, yeah. blame the 'puter..........QUOTE] Of course Locksie's tantrum had a lot to do with the increased security of Microsoft Vista where the first thing you see is the lock. He'd stared at it for days, being quite unable to hit the broken arrow key or the QWERTYS, or as we know know it F**8s888 QWERTYS. Turbo pondered for a moment on the merits of getting a diferent crew of Nerds to design every System update, and concluded it was like a mother giving birth to children wo each spoke a different language. He wondered if Barak O'Bama could solve this problem too. The Riverina Rodent furtively gunned the scooter as he approached Bayliss St, but no one noticed because Suzukis are Woos's scooters. He'd made fun of Turbo's speed hump jumps and decided to imitate that skilled man. But rod racing never produced the skills of speedway, and the scooter got sideways in the jump and came down on the sissy bars with a grinding crunch. The Rate strugled to get the scooter upright and his beady eyes shot around in case someone had seen, but nobody had......
Captain Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 ...and thanked <insert diety of choice> that he didn't have a radio or transponder fitted to the daywork truck as otherwise, he'd have run clean over El Ratto and his gleaming chrome and white motor scooter! "If it weren't for the flash of gold light from behind the visor, I'd have got 'im!" O'Loch explained anyone who'd listen :gerg:. "And bugger me drunk, if he doesn't turn off into the Gumly truckie's servo for a lunch meeting with the Riverina Rodents outlaw scooter gang (el Ratto is the founding....and only member.) rather than keep his caffeine appointment." :Disappointed: Having spent three days bludgeoning :pc strikes back: a new 'puter into submission (bloody Vista :baldy:), WatchingQuietlyLoch finds the Sportztsar has been denuded of rivets :uhoh2:, Tubz has been () anonymously moderated and DikaDint isn't as innocent :polite: as he makes out and may well have. :hump: half the hosties working the J curve. :bmwrider: Yeah, yeah. blame the 'puter........... ============== Foxhunter...sagely..... .....in the garden. "The Gumly Servo was for fuel ......... and the lunch was at the Vienese joint in Adelong ......... and extra good it was too" (highly recommended) explained the Editor when he realised that Goldie had got wrong. "And I can report that it looks like the TurboHolmeBanger and the DickaDintmaker were in town town yesterday as there was a Dessault Falcon 900 3 holer on the apron and switches could be heard being flicked + some bloke was sucking mints and making brmmmm brmmmm noises in the left seat" reported El Ratto with his gold tooth after he taxied past in the SAAB on the way out yesterday. "This DickaPython bloke is a bit of a goer" said one of the RPT hosties who knew him from the Ansett days "All he talks about are triple Deckers, 3 bungers, Pythons, after flight debauchery and now he is leading my Grandma astray" she added 'I have never been so insulted and abused, unless it was that time at .............. The computer of my Aunt has a lot of sympathy for Ahlocks, as my Aunt has recently purged 2 laptops of Vista ............... but my Aunt also says that with security going more 'lectronic, and possibly more complex than a brass $4.65 Lockwood, our dearly beloved Ahlow is likely to strike even more difficulty if the Cockies put lectronic locks on their gates. (And ........ does Ahlow's fixed deputer mean that my ratiferous nephew is going to get his Invoice any time soon?)
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