The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

12 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

........increase the operations tenfold.....or even twelvefold.

Cappy raises a salient point here. All we ever hear about is Motherships, and this is just another nail in the road to female domination where us males will be rationed .........

 

..... , but no longer will this be the case, as the milking capability of the Fathership will be offered to any interested male of any species. 

 

In addition, Turbine Business Efficiencies have today issued a 340 page Report which indicates that tenfold or 12-fold may be a doddle, so 20-fold is the new target, and the operations of the Fathership became bigger news than Donny T on the ABC, where Media Watch even claimed that ......

Edited December 5 by Captain

[turboplanner]

The ships were each going to have a Wheeler Scout [avref] operating. The ships looked like Aircraft Carriers once the runnways were fitted and immediately .....

[Captain]

20 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

The ships were each going to have a Wheeler Scout [avref] operating. The ships looked like Aircraft Carriers once the runways were fitted and immediately .....

..... attracted the attention of the Chinese, because bull had named the Mothership AUKUS and the Fathership UCKTHEM, therefore the Chinese, the Nth Koreans and the Houthi Rebels considered that ...... 

Edited Thursday at 11:46 PM by Captain

[turboplanner]

......these people were a pushover, but bull........

[Captain]

3 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

......these people were a pushover, but bull........

.... is made of sterner stuff and had just completed the 1st human test of the Fathership.

 

To say that he was ......

[turboplanner]

......an understatement because the engines had failed, and bull had to tow it the last 63 Nm with a rope between his teeth.

 

When the mechanics checked the engines they found 32 big end nuts had cracked. The nuts had been supplied by Golden River Co, a subsidiary of Hoo Boi Co.

 

bull was not amused .........

[Captain]

11 hours ago, turboplanner said:

bull was not amused ......

.... and when bull gets snakey, the rest of the world gets .....

[turboplanner]

......bitten.

bull called in aviation expert .........

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

......bitten.

bull called in aviation expert .........

.... , E Paul Ette, who is a brother (or sister, NTTIAWWT) Tasmanian, to sort out .....

[turboplanner]

.... the nut problem.

What he didn't know was that EP had been short of students for some time after scaring half of them by lesson three. He wasn't prepared to lower his standard of training so he resolved the problem by importing cheap students from China. Of the ones he imported every second one didn't want to work and those who did often stopped halfway through the lesson, but they paid big monet and EP was able to buy a new Satin Blue flying suit every season, so he wasn't going to tip a bucket on the Country which had made this possible and he suggested the nuts had been poorly serviced, which ........

[onetrack]

.....led bull to think long and hard, as to how you go about servicing a big end nut. He'd learnt all about servicing various other things in his career, but big end nuts weren't one of them.

There was only one thing to do - call up the professionals - Turbine Big End Nut Servicing Inc, and get the whole lowdown on how to go about it. But when his call was answered, bull was stunned to hear......

[Captain]

6 hours ago, turboplanner said:

..... but they paid big monet .....

NES OBSERVATION - Given what large Monet paintings are worth these days, this is HUGE. 

[turboplanner]

.....a voice in with that squeaky, grovelling Perth accent, explaining as he picked up the nuts with the cable hoist; "We check them for correct axis of elasticity and granular direction". Using a 5 lb hammer he tapped each nut. Some needed just two taps, some needed three, and one needed five.

"Here you are" he said toi bull, "good as new", but bull knew they were better than new and resolved to buy a 5 ln hammer when he goy home. But .........

[Captain]

..... bull, a good man with a disdain for capitals and a slight drinking issue, had mistaken what the tbensi bloke had said and bull thought that he was being invited to join in with consenting adults at the tbensi Friday night piss up, to get hammered.

 

Imagine his disappointment when he .....

Edited Saturday at 08:13 PM by Captain

[turboplanner]

56 minutes ago, Captain said:

..... bull, a good man with a disdain for capitals and a slight drinking issue, had mistaken what the tbensi bloke had said and bull thought that he was being invited to join in with consenting adults at the tbensi Friday night piss up, to get hammered.

 

Imagine his disappointment when he .....

............found himself lying on a pew  in a Uniting Church with a Presbyterian Minister about to give him the option of the last rites, or signing the UC declaration renouncing alcohol, marrying only Scottish women (that's how they finally got some married), and ........

[Captain]

.... promising to henceforth no longer occasionally defy the good Lord's laws of gravity (avref), nor to ....

[onetrack]

.......keep terrorising prawns, fish and sea snakes to the point where they throw themselves into his boat. But bull rapidly escaped the Church and the Presbyterian Minister, and made his way back to a place where his desires really were still strong - an airstrip!! (long overdue avref). Bull sighted a lonely, dusty, and unloved-looking Jackaroo in a run down hangar, and his heart beat faster.

Surely, that couldn't be the Jacka he once owned? He jumped the perimeter fence, and was nearly at the Jacka when he became aware of a noise that was getting louder and closer, and accompanied by a...........

[Captain]

..... strange clunking type of .....

[turboplanner]

.........language we can’t repeat here. staggering in the air at about 500” (AMSL) from the direction of YSCR. ........

Edited Sunday at 12:52 AM by turboplanner

[Captain]

10 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.........language we can’t repeat here. staggering in the air at about 500” (AMSL) from the direction of YSCR. ........

.... and as most aviators or aviatrixes know, that step through and after 500 inches (AMSL) has always been a bit of an issue for the Jackoff, as they move out of ground effect and into the glorious .....

[turboplanner]

.....sky effect at that exact altitude. [congratulations to Cappy for recognising the "Hinkler Layer"].

bull, it has to be said has paid the price for staring longingly into the eyes of Mavis at the Bone RSL, while Mavis fought him off with batch after batch of pancakes, night after night.

The Jacka, like most untralights, had to operate 40% over its MTOW.

 

The Jacka would handle the takeoff quite well, but when it hit the Hinkler layer it would start skipping - a climb of a few feet then an incipient stall.

 

bull would...........

[Captain]

5 hours ago, turboplanner said:

The Jacka would handle the takeoff quite well, but when it hit the Hinkler layer it would start skipping - a climb of a few feet then an incipient stall.

 

bull would..........

.... counter this naturally using his standard heavy handed bull's own pilot induced oscillation, which used to see his .....

[turboplanner]

GT500 and Sportair jump 50' at a time like going up a magic ladder, and it neede some magic because bull would light up a smoke for the climb phase and ...........

[Captain]

10 hours ago, turboplanner said:

GT500 and Sportair jump 50' at a time like going up a magic ladder, and it neede some magic because bull would light up a smoke for the climb phase and ...........

..... yell "Smoke On" as he pretended to be a dashing Matt Hall in his Extra, after which bull looped the loop and flew back through his own smoke, which was not easy to see when it just came from a filter-less 70-year-old Craven A.

 

bull's natural POI has won him several aerobatic competitions, where bull thought that he was a naturally skilled aerobat, however these wins were actually a result of his ......

[turboplanner]

5 hours ago, Captain said:

..... yell "Smoke On" as he pretended to be a dashing Matt Hall in his Extra, after which bull looped the loop and flew back through his own smoke, which was not easy to see when it just came from a filter-less 70-year-old Craven A.

 

bull's natural POI has won him several aerobatic competitions, where bull thought that he was a naturally skilled aerobat, however these wins were actually a result of his ......

.....inability to identify which way to push the stick to correct things like spins, sporran dives and sh!t so he kept on showing it all over the place until he'd fluttered down low enough to land. Suited bull so he'd never bothered to change it and of course ........