The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

9 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......his problem is?

Cappy, who just happened to be in the waiting room for his fifth beer-gut reduction couldn't help himself and ..............

..... said to the Doc "Can you also take some off my bum as well this time ..... and don't worry, I'll get the Turgidplonker back in here and up on the table, quick stix, for you to do your nip and tuck".

 

"He'll need more than just a nip & tuck, Cappy old mate. He's a mess and has got some serios issues, but tell me, he appears to also have an old bullet wound where the sun doesn't shine. What should I do with that" replied the Doc.

 

"That was me, mate, up the Khyber, and I plugged him close to his bullseye. I may have had a few gins when that happened, but it was a Swan Lager-soaked OT, this time, that made the mess around his tail and given that I've had a good squizz, I can no longer see how Tubb can go to the dunny unless he ..... 

Edited 3 hours ago by Captain

[onetrack]

.....gets a top-class proctologist to give him a bypass and a colostomy bag. "Well, he's already in possession of what would pass for a pouch, around his gut now, so I don't see what the problem is?"

 

"Well, the problem is", said the Doc, "someone has to break the news to him gently, and as he's obviously already endured a considerable amount of trauma, I'm not sure that he could absorb the trauma of being advised he now needs to have a colostomy bag?"

 

"He'll handle it", said Cappy. "This is my Khyber Pass compatriot, we've endured a lot more up the Pass". The Doc took this in, and then said...........

[bull]

4 minutes ago, onetrack said:

.....gets a top-class proctologist to give him a bypass and a colostomy bag. "Well, he's already in possession of what would pass for a pouch, around his gut now, so I don't see what the problem is?"

 

"Well, the problem is", said the Doc, "someone has to break the news to him gently, and as he's obviously already endured a considerable amount of trauma, I'm not sure that he could absorb the trauma of being advised he now needs to have a colostomy bag?"

 

"He'll handle it", said Cappy. "This is my Khyber Pass compatriot, we've endured a lot more up the Pass". The Doc took this in, and then said...........

are you sure?🤷‍♀️ .....but the point became mute shortly as 😎 Bull strode into the room and straight up said to Turdo ,,Hey one good thing about the bag thing old mate ah ,,,you wont have to worry about buying shit paper ah.....Tubbs looked around at the doc and Cappy and then turned back to Bull and said.............

[Captain]

1 hour ago, bull said:

are you sure?🤷‍♀️ .....but the point became mute shortly as 😎 Bull strode into the room and straight up said to Turdo ,,Hey one good thing about the bag thing old mate ah ,,,you wont have to worry about buying shit paper ah.....Tubbs looked around at the doc and Cappy and then turned back to Bull and said.............

.... "sound reasoning there bull. Based on that I think I'll get one even if I don't need one, and I'll get another one fitted as a spare, just in case."

 

When the general population found out what work Turdbro was having done, they all wanted one too.

 

The result was a dire shortage of colostomy bags, so they had to use a .......

Edited 1 hour ago by Captain