The Never Ending Story

[bull]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

t didn't take the Dolphins long to find this out, and they sank the fin into the leadership of the Dugongs who were eventually forced to admit they'd been conned and ......  

after believing that the AUF still existed posted about the extinct and defunked AUF rip... now this was a major oversight as it was the RAA [avref] that ordered the earbones! The shockwave this news caused the flying community was felt as far away as.......

Edited January 25 by bull

[Captain]

14 hours ago, bull said:

after believing that the AUF still existed posted about the extinct and defunked AUF rip... now this was a major oversight as it was the RAA [avref] that ordered the earbones! The shockwave this news caused the flying community was felt as far away as.......

..... even South Australia, and to address the issue, Turbine Engraving & Key Copying P/L in Rundle Mall were given the job of altering the earbone engravings from AUF to RAA, and .......

[Captain]

19 hours ago, turboplanner said:

...... dyslexic .......

Crappy notices, as one would expect with someone of such wealth and eminence, that Turbo must be using a very sophisticated AI spell checker/story writer, because the algorithm has automatically made the connection between the compound political adjective "a dickhead", and the above-quoted descriptive verbal-pronoun medical term.

Edited January 26 by Captain

[onetrack]

....this then brought the earbone engravings up to a highly satisfactory and current standard, which would then ensure that they passed any sudden-death CASA ramp inspection.

 

Meantimes, Turbo's mind was on designing a whole new ultralight machine, that would meet the expectations of 21st Century recreational flyers. After all, most of the designs in use, were still so 20th Century.

After a rare visit to Adelaide, Turbo was astounded to see that so many of the great citys car manufacturing facilities were no longer in existence.

There was the great Whole-Dun factory at Elizabeth now bereft of any manufacturing activity, and which factory had been turned into a giant mushroom farm.

 

Despite seeing the massive irony of the Whole-Dun factory now keeping everything in the dark, and not just the owners of Whole-Duns, Turbo was intrigued by the possibilities of turning some other derelict S.A. manufacturing facility into a 21st Century aviation manufacturing powerhouse.

 

Turbo thought about the Mitsubishi Tonsley plant - then found it had been turned into the Tonsley Innovation District, where people sat in fancy offices and discussed brilliant futuristic ideas, without actually manufacturing anything. 

However, as soon as Turbo visited the TID, he was immediately recognised as a brilliant ideas man, and highly capable of starting up his own innovation office in the TID, and putting out fabulous videos of futuristic flying machines, which of course, would simply stay forever on the screens of aviation daydreamers, without anything ever coming...........

[Captain]

20 minutes ago, onetrack said:

without anything ever coming.......

..... although some AUF members did, when they saw the designs.

 

20 minutes ago, onetrack said:

However, as soon as Turbo visited the TID, he was immediately recognised as a brilliant ideas man, and highly capable of starting up his own innovation office in the TID, and putting out fabulous videos of futuristic flying machines, which of course, would simply stay forever on the screens of aviation daydreamers, without anything ever coming........

.... to fruition, because Turbo, the brilliant & glorious Musk-like free thinking maverick, had ignored convention in his designs and had gone for Speed, Speed, Speed and more Speed.

 

This was enabled by the wonderful (but still rattley) Rotax 916iS/c, which could be cranked up to 210 hp by substituting a "Turbo 12" Turbocharger" (It's not really 12", but Turbo just named it after himself) and 200 knots VNE + Citation stall speeds, were a doddle.

 

"Now all it will take is a little rule change" commented Turbo on each of the receipts, as the kit orders flooded in.

 

The aircraft soon became known as the ......

Edited January 26 by Captain

[turboplanner]

..........ShootingStar:) because it went up like a rocket and came down like a meteor.

Turbine Design had made it safe by fitting twin ballistic parachutes made from "XXXXXXX" fairy dust!" according to Turbo who was irritated that competitors were already trying to copy his design.

 

Where the usual outcome for a Cirrus surprise landing was a smashed up aircraft, The exclusive AI module on the ShootingStar turned itself on and started the countdown for explosion on the way up, not the way down, and the cutes were deployed exactly when it reached the apex. As it was coming down the AI module was saying to itself "Where can I land safely; not in that big tree (chute adjusted), not on top of the church spire (chute adjusted) and they usually landed in cattle-free paddocks near a bus stop, like we all should.

 

The Shooting Star fuelled itself. Hank Cook, CEO of Turbine Power Systems Inc. explains:   "The usual pilot wouldn't know 98ULP from Ivermecting Cattle Drench, so we provided a button on the instrument panel with a red flashing LED and the words "FILLMENOW". Push the button and the Shooting Star flies to the nearest 98ULP pump, ending the old habit of hanging four 20 litre jerrty cans around your neck, going 5 km into town on an electric scooter and spending an hour spilling th fuel all over the wing.

 

The problem was the intense debates on the premium site "RECFLYN+" where posters started to ask how to get these rules changed, or at least they asked that for the first four posts until someone posted that people who flew nose wheels were girls and everyone should use the barely controllable system from the 1920s, which quickly switched to what a XXXX OT was "and he uses AI" and went on .............

 

[Captain]

10 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

The problem was the intense debates on the premium site "RECFLYN+" where posters started to ask how to get these rules changed, or at least they asked that for the first four posts until someone posted that people who flew nose wheels were girls and everyone should use the barely controllable system from the 1920s, which quickly switched to what a XXXX OT was "and he uses AI" and went on .......

...... and on ..... and on ..... and on ..... about OT's issues, and then disclosed his ......

Edited January 26 by Captain

[turboplanner]

......origins as an Italian shoemaker who had .......

[Captain]

49 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

......origins as an Italian shoemaker who had .......

..... been the brother of that great jockey, Willie "The Shoe" Shoemaker, hence why when Mavis and Onesie had their singular liaison that earnt OEHOR his name, Mavis was heard to yell "Ride 'em Cowboy" and "Go, you good thing".

 

OT had built a substantial business (6 times he has won the "WA Business of the Year" award) from meagre beginnings in the Southern Cross Cobbler's Emporium, and as a result he .....

Edited January 26 by Captain

[onetrack]

.....was asked repeatedly to be inducted into the W.A. Business Entrepreneurs Hall of Fame, but he politely declined the offer, as he never sought or wanted a major public persona, but always preferred to operate behind the scenes.

Typical of his quiet modus operandi was the time he went to that great PM, Bob'awk, and told him that there was a pressing need to develop a new ultralight organisation, and accordingly Bob'awk saw to it, via contacts in the Painters and Dockers Union (as well as various other Unions), that the RA-Aus was brought to fruition, via a bit of toenail-cutting, and various other gentle inducements, that made opposition to the new organisation fade away.

Few recreational pilots today know just how much they owe their flying freedom to OT and his backroom manoeuvring and political party pressure, whereby he is known and respected far and wide as.........

[turboplanner]

......a shoe tapping, sand groping, toe kicking, eye gouging "influencer" it was best to keep away from if you knew what was good for you.

 

Cappy hadn't read the signs..............

[Captain]

11 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

......a shoe tapping, sand groping, toe kicking, eye gouging "influencer" it was best to keep away from if you knew what was good for you.

 

Cappy hadn't read the signs..............

.... because he always assumed the honourable best of people & their motives, however he had obviously never been subjected to the OT Influencer's coven that was .....

[turboplanner]

.......into strict protocols. Meetings were not to start before the clock had struck midnight which was a bit stiff if your clock didn't have a striker. OEHOR was a stickler for detail, especially where CAT was concerned. You couldn't just say "a D12 Dozer", you had to know the correct nomenclature and what tracks it had.

Yopu couldn't ...........

[Captain]

15 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Yopu couldn't ......

..... get his band going, as once he announced the full band name as Yopuyindi from Quirindi, he received an injunction from Yothu Yindi and an accusation of cultural misappropriation.

 

The fact that the members of Yopuyindi were a mix of South Africans & Irish (typical majority WA bloodlines), and sang little ditties such as Irish Jigs + Afrikaans Supremacy Songs (ASSs), appeared to make no difference, so when the matter went before the Tocumwal Sharia Court it was found to be ......

Edited Monday at 08:26 PM by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....contravening Local Law No5 of the Shire of Tocumwal (locally known as Toke).

The Shire President called a Press Conference, sending emails to all the newspapers TV Channels and the ABC as well as the Guardian.

He dressed in his RMW boots, Moleskins, his Dark Green Shire Reefer Jacket with the Gold badge with his name on it, put on his Akubra and prepared to meet the press.

He was expecting Helicopters, Mobile Broadcasting Vans and a crowd and he braced himself as he drove int the town, turning left into Deniliquin St and past the Big Cod, but the only person there to gret him was Max from the Deni Guardian.

Max's first note was "dressed up like a King's Cross tart...." and said.....

 

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Max's first note was "dressed up like a King's Cross tart...." and said.....

.... that "The Prez has foregone his stinky Sharia compliant Afghan warlord clothes to try to look the sartorial spit of Albo on a cuntry junket (Known in Cantberra as a CJ, and when that photo op is in Alice Springs it is called an ArSendCJ).

 

They subsequently ran the below photo with a byline that said "From Warlord to Wanka", then ......

 

The file photo from a normal Toke Council Meeting that was used above the byline. That's the Shire Prez down front .... but still with RMW boots, belt and moleskins worn out of shot. (The Prez also has a thank you note from Twiggy and his missus expressing appreciation for buying so much RMW clobber).

Edited Monday at 11:38 PM by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....the Shire President really acted up. Following the established procedures of the AUF magazine, He wrote 17 Letters to the Editor, all in different names. There was one from Dad, one from Dave and so on. He made sure they were from all corners of the Shire and all extolled their beloved President.  He was clever, and even had some of them arguing amongst themselves when one of them said Green Jacket wasn't that good, and five others viciously responded and "exposed" the writer as a drunk. The letters went on for weeks but after a while the general farming community realised the grammar was always as bad as the President's and the "writers" were forgetting where "they" lived and who had which wife, and who was supposed to have had the best cows in the district. Max was an unusual journalist who not only had done the five year slog at CQU in Rockhampton, but after graduation had gone on to an embedding with the Australian SES in Afghanistan and became interested in which tribes could speak to each other and why other tribes had similar language but were unintelligible. From this he did a degree at Monash University in Anthropology. So it only took him three months of the Shire President's ravings to be able to source all the characters including Dad and Dave. There was even the Chinese market gardener Bok Choy writing to the newspaper in Mandarin but using precisely the same cadence and the Shire President. So he decided to write an expose and started with ...........

[onetrack]

.....the reasons the SES were in Afghanistan, instead of attending to natural disaster cleanups in W.A. and Victoria. "This is an abominable move that really needs to be exposed, to show the dark underbelly of the SES management!!" he thundered.

"This is an organisation charged with repairing storm damage for Australians, and here we have them doing overseas junkets into 3rd world countries, and swanning around in taxpayer-supplied vehicles, and using..........

[turboplanner]

2 minutes ago, onetrack said:

.....the reasons the SES were in Afghanistan, instead of attending to natural disaster cleanups in W.A. and Victoria. "This is an abominable move that really needs to be exposed, to show the dark underbelly of the SES management!!" he thundered.

"This is an organisation charged with repairing storm damage for Australians, and here we have them doing overseas junkets into 3rd world countries, and swanning around in taxpayer-supplied vehicles, and using..........

.....their chainsaws  to cut up the night’s meal.

They did catch a lot more machine gun fire in those orange overalls, but it was only half hearted after Turbine Propaganda (Middle East) Inc. dropped leaflets telling the Afghans to avoid them because they had the plague and.......

[Captain]

20 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.....their chainsaws  to cut up the night’s meal.

They did catch a lot more machine gun fire in those orange overalls, but it was only half hearted after Turbine Propaganda (Middle East) Inc. dropped leaflets telling the Afghans to avoid them because they had the plague and.......

.... perhaps one of the numerous poxes for which, Bill Gates and Jeffrey Epstein had developed a range of .....

[turboplanner]

......electronic cures which could be bought on subscription. 

We shouldn't tell you this, but NES readers never bleat secrets out; you have to be very careful when talking around OT. Outwardly he projects himself as a Gentleman but he listens then he strikes, and he'd heard us discussing Bill and Jeffrey in the early morning NES  meeting a few weeks ago. Next thing we see  these ads coming up on facebook from "Dr Spick", offering cures online for everything from ingrown toenails to a full blown health cure to pass Class 2 Medicals. Just how this could be done electronically wasn't said but there were hints of delivery by drone anywhere in the world, and of course a money-back guarantee if .........

 

Edited Wednesday at 08:27 PM by turboplanner

[Captain]

On 28/01/2025 at 12:14 PM, turboplanner said:

Following the established procedures of the AUF magazine

Not to mention the numerous AK47 magazines.

[Captain]

46 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

......electronic cures which could be bought on subscription. 

We shouldn't tell you this, but NES readers never bleat secrets out; you have to be very careful when talking around OT. Outwardly he projects himself as a Gentleman but he listens then he strikes, and he'd heard us discussing Bill and Jeffrey in the early morning NES  meeting a few weeks ago. Next thing we see  these ads coming up on facebook from "Dr Spick", offering cures online for everything from ingrown toenails to a full blown health cure to pass Class 2 Medicals. Just how this could be done electronically wasn't said but there were hints of delivery by drone anywhere in the world, and of course a money-back guarantee if .........

 

.... Onesie is caught droning on and on (and on and on).

49 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....... and he'd heard us discussing Bill and Jeffrey in the early morning NES  meeting a few weeks ago ........

.... hence OT's regular silences on the NES when he was actually aboard the Lolita Express (avref), so he and Bill are like .....

 

[Captain]

18 hours ago, Captain said:

hence OT's regular silences on the NES when he was actually aboard the Lolita Express (avref), so he and Bill are like .....

Investigation Post ..... Crappy has a nose for shifty behaviour and he notices the silence, with no response from Turbo for almost a day.

 

Therefore could Turbo actually be Jeffrey Epstein, living in-cognito in Moorabbin, after having the real Turbo substituted in his cell (my compatriate best mate Turbo always did have a strange shaped bone protruding in his neck)?

 

If true, this might go some way to explaining this Turbo's extreme wealth (which stands out a little in downtown Moorabbin), his ownership of a Caribbean Island and the fact that Turbinia introduces this Turbo (not OUR Turbo) to lots of young ladies.

 

This Turbo is indeed, a quandary, wrapped in an enigma and if any NESers have more data on whether he is actually Jeff, please advise, as this Turbo is subtly different to my best mate with whom I spent considerable time Up The Khyber, where we shared a foxhole (but not a live fox, I hasten to add). Perhaps we should bend "this Turbo" over and check for Cappy's bullet hole next to his bullseye.

 

All comments and data most welcome as Cappy has confessed previously, he always found Gislaine Maxwell to be a super good sort and if he is Jeff, perhaps this Turbo can give me an intro & visiting rights.

Edited Thursday at 03:23 PM by Captain

[turboplanner]

how does this thing work do i have to say my name?I notgood with these things.

Gislaine is detained just now but ther's plenty more where that came from for you Cappy

    turbie I;